Archive for 17 and Up

Escape Pod 52: Single White Farmhouse

Show Notes

Rated R. Contains strong language and home… Oh, erotica.

Referenced sites:
EP on LiveJournal
EP on MySpace
2006 Hugo Nominees
Balticon
Escape Pod Classic


Single White Farmhouse

by Heather Shaw

The house consented to the wiring, and as soon as it was done she explored it carefully, like you or I would poke at a new tooth filling. Wasn’t long before any unused terminal would be flashing from her zooms around the internet. New bookmarks were always appearing in the browser files — architecture sites, construction sites, even some redecorating, Better Homes and Gardens-type sites were piling up in the history. Dad was disgusted by this — called it “house porn,” which made me and my brother giggle.

Escape Pod 51: Is You Is / Is You Ain’t?

Show Notes

Rated R. Contains profanity, sexual situations, and Hollywood actors. None of which are suitable for children.

Referenced sites:
Escape Pod Classic
Balticon
Escape Archive


Is You Is / Is You Ain’t?

By Michael Canfield

I won’t kid you, the main reason I contracted to upload this biography is the money. I want a way out of my baby body–expensive surgery. Thank you for buying this link: even if you don’t like what I have to say, you’ve helped an old actor out.

I’m told the public will not buy a starbio uplink unless there is a tragedy involved–and a triumph.

Escape Pod 49: Union Dues: Off White Lies

Show Notes

Rated R. Contains graphic violence, mature themes, and some profanity.

Referenced sites:
Viable Paradise
Escape Pod Feedback

Update:
The first Union Dues story (thanks, Aaron!)


Union Dues: Off White Lies

by Jeffrey R. DeRego

“Leave,” she said calmly, “just go. A recruiting visit was here just three weeks ago and they had no success. The people here don’t much like the Union. Hell, it took me almost a year before any of them would even speak to me, and I didn’t try to razzle-dazzle them.” She quickly scanned the list and produced folders matching each name. “Here,” she said and slid them across the desk, “but they won’t go with you.”

The Union tries very hard to get all Supers to sign on and become active members, but some simply won’t. This is the first Village, and already The Union is constructing others. Either the mutation rate is rising among the Normals, or we’re getting better at ferreting them out. Either way, we need more space.

Escape Pod 46: Natural Order

Show Notes

Rated R. Contains graphic violent imagery, intense themes of natural and man-made disasters, and incidental profanity. Not one of our lighter stories.

Referenced sites:
“B for Betrayal” (an essay by William Richter)
Bound By Law? (a comic from Duke University)
T. Barnabus WigWiggins (a celebrity puppet author)
EP Review Guidelines


Natural Order

By Michael Jasper

Missy downshifted as she pulled into the median of the interstate to avoid the state troopers and the mess of traffic-snarled cars attempting to leave the coast too late. I tried not to look at the panicked faces inside the cars, lit by the headlights of those behind them. All waiting to escape the storm. Just like us, but powerless to move — to phase, if needed — the way we did. Sucking on the cigarette, I slid lower onto the wornout springs of the back seat. Slowly I pulled my gaze away from those we were leaving behind.

One thing I learned from Oklahoma: if I thought about the people too much, I’d be worthless.

Escape Pod 41: Ambient Sleaze

Show Notes

Rated R. Contains profanity, some physical violence, and violence against dignity.


Ambient Sleaze

by Jeffrey R. DeRego

“Good god, who’d do something like that?” Sarah rummaged through her purse for a handkerchief but couldn’t seem to focus on the task. Her mind was consumed with images of Tony’s perforated body.

“Well, I’ve seen the Tony Autumn Show, so we’ve got an APB out on everyone with a sense of moral decency and every freak, transvestite, midget wrestler, incestuous dad, jilted lover…”

Escape Pod 35: Hero

Show Notes

Rated R. Contains profanity, violence, and poor life priorities.

Referenced sites:
SciFiction
PodcasterCon
Escape Pod CD Offer


Hero

By Scott Sigler

There is no defense against a perfect weapon.

The perfect weapon is cunning, calculating and ruthless.

I am all of these things.

There is no defense against me.

The words would die with him, for he was the last. Five centuries of tradition would fade from existence, probably as soon as he killed Timmerman. But that didn’t matter, not as long as Timmerman died this day. Poetic justice is all the more eloquent with your enemy’s brains cooked a crispy-brown.

EP Flash: Night Off

Show Notes

Rated R. Contains profanity and some disturbing imagery.

(Note: Mr. Lundberg has directed that his payment for this story be directed toward Heifer International, providing impoverished people with animals and other resources to become economically self-sustaining.)


Night Off

By Jason Erik Lundberg

The fat man coughed again and rolled over onto his side. He wheezed and his lungs rattled. A few thousand years of being overweight had caused innumerable cardiac and respiratory problems, but the job demanded it.

“Who can you think of to cover you?”

The fat man pondered for a moment, then said, “Lo ho ho?”

His wife frowned. “You know Loki would just cause a mess, and probably light some children on fire. Who else?”

Escape Pod 33: Santa In My Pocket

Show Notes

Rated R. Contains profanity, sexual situations, and criminal intent. Merry Christmas!

Referenced sites:
Agnostica
Geek Fu Action Grip
I Should Be Writing
Geek Acres


Santa In My Pocket

By Mur Lafferty

When I was a kid, I believed it all, like that old wive’s tale that animals would be granted the gift of speech for one hour on Christmas Eve. I tested that out by keeping my cat locked up in my room with me all night. She never spoke, but she did piss in the corner, since she couldn’t get to her litter box. So she still told me a magical Christmas message, loud and clear.

Genres:

Escape Pod 32: Alien Animal Encounters

Show Notes

Rated R. Contains profanity, explicit imagery, and hot alien action.

Referenced sites:
Whatever
Reading is Fundamental
Lies and Little Deaths
Child’s Play
Today in Alternate History


Alien Animal Encounters

By John Scalzi

Ted McPeak, Community College Student, Jersey City:

Some friends and me heard that if you smoked the skin of an aret, you could get monumentally wasted. So we bought one at a pet store and waited a couple of weeks until it shed its skin. Then we crumbled up the dry skin, put it in with some pot, and lit up. We all got these insane mouth blisters that didn’t go away for weeks. We all had to eat soup for a month. Though maybe it wasn’t the skin; the pot could have been bad or something.

Escape Pod 28: Your Corporate Network and the Forces of Darkness

Show Notes

Rated R. Contains profanity, violence, dark magic, and other typical sysadmin behavior.

Referenced sites:
Plot Patents
Slashdot Commentary
Look What I Found In My Brain!
SFFAudio


Your Corporate Network and the Forces of Darkness

By Lucy A. Snyder

Axedame agrees that the technology provides staffing solutions that have yet to reach public acceptance or full legality. “Undead workers are kind of a gray area as far as the feds are concerned. And you bet your boots the unions are fighting it. But since you don’t have to pay the dead minimum wage, the potential impact this could have on America’s bottom line is off the charts! We’re pretty sure we can get the government on board as long as the GOP stays in charge.”