Archive for 17 and Up

Escape Pod 57: Chuckles Mulrooney, Attorney for the Damned

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 38:45 — 26.6MB)

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Show Notes

Rated R. Contains profanity, violence, clowns, and violence against profane clowns.

Referenced sites:
Infection – A Podcast Novel
2006 Hugo Ballot

Chuckles Mulrooney, Attorney for the Damned

By Scott Sigler

After a decade of ceaseless writing struggle, Satan had come to him in — of all places — the soup aisle at Meijer’s grocery store. There was no fire and brimstone, no tail, no horns, not even that cool hipster pointy goatee the devil always sported in the movies. He was actually kind of fat, and wore a three-piece suit with Gucci shoes. He didn’t look at all like Satan — he looked more like Dom Delouise posing as a lawyer.

Escape Pod 56: The Clockwork Atom Bomb

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 52:40 — 36.2MB)

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Show Notes

Rated R. Contains profanity and some violence.

Referenced sites:
2006 Hugo Nominees
The Balticon Podcast
Michael & Evo’s Slice of SciFi
Rock & Roll Monster Bash

The Clockwork Atom Bomb

by Dominic Green

The wind in here was deafening. The girl had to shout. “THERE IS MORE THAN ONE IN HERE. THEY LIVE IN THE MACHINES. THE GOVERNMENT MADE THE MACHINES, BUT NOT WITH TECHNICIANS AND ELECTRICIANS. WITH SORCERY.”

The machines did not look made by sorcery. They were entirely silent, looking like rows of gigantic, rusted steel chess pawns twice the height of a man, with no pipes or wires entering or leaving them, apparently sitting here unused for any purpose. Mativi felt an urgent, entirely rational need to be in an another line of employment.

Escape Pod 52: Single White Farmhouse

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 36:00 — 24.7MB)

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Show Notes

Rated R. Contains strong language and home… Oh, erotica.

Referenced sites:
EP on LiveJournal
EP on MySpace
2006 Hugo Nominees
Balticon
Escape Pod Classic

Single White Farmhouse

by Heather Shaw

The house consented to the wiring, and as soon as it was done she explored it carefully, like you or I would poke at a new tooth filling. Wasn’t long before any unused terminal would be flashing from her zooms around the internet. New bookmarks were always appearing in the browser files — architecture sites, construction sites, even some redecorating, Better Homes and Gardens-type sites were piling up in the history. Dad was disgusted by this — called it “house porn,” which made me and my brother giggle.

Escape Pod 51: Is You Is / Is You Ain’t?

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 35:53 — 24.7MB)

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Show Notes

Rated R. Contains profanity, sexual situations, and Hollywood actors. None of which are suitable for children.

Referenced sites:
Escape Pod Classic
Balticon
Escape Archive

Is You Is / Is You Ain’t?

By Michael Canfield

I won’t kid you, the main reason I contracted to upload this biography is the money. I want a way out of my baby body–expensive surgery. Thank you for buying this link: even if you don’t like what I have to say, you’ve helped an old actor out.

I’m told the public will not buy a starbio uplink unless there is a tragedy involved–and a triumph.

Escape Pod 49: Union Dues: Off White Lies

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 38:20 — 26.3MB)

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Show Notes

Rated R. Contains graphic violence, mature themes, and some profanity.

Referenced sites:
Viable Paradise
Escape Pod Feedback

Update:
The first Union Dues story (thanks, Aaron!)

Union Dues: Off White Lies

by Jeffrey R. DeRego

“Leave,” she said calmly, “just go. A recruiting visit was here just three weeks ago and they had no success. The people here don’t much like the Union. Hell, it took me almost a year before any of them would even speak to me, and I didn’t try to razzle-dazzle them.” She quickly scanned the list and produced folders matching each name. “Here,” she said and slid them across the desk, “but they won’t go with you.”

The Union tries very hard to get all Supers to sign on and become active members, but some simply won’t. This is the first Village, and already The Union is constructing others. Either the mutation rate is rising among the Normals, or we’re getting better at ferreting them out. Either way, we need more space.

Escape Pod 46: Natural Order

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 39:06 — 26.9MB)

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Show Notes

Rated R. Contains graphic violent imagery, intense themes of natural and man-made disasters, and incidental profanity. Not one of our lighter stories.

Referenced sites:
“B for Betrayal” (an essay by William Richter)
Bound By Law? (a comic from Duke University)
T. Barnabus WigWiggins (a celebrity puppet author)
EP Review Guidelines

Natural Order

By Michael Jasper

Missy downshifted as she pulled into the median of the interstate to avoid the state troopers and the mess of traffic-snarled cars attempting to leave the coast too late. I tried not to look at the panicked faces inside the cars, lit by the headlights of those behind them. All waiting to escape the storm. Just like us, but powerless to move — to phase, if needed — the way we did. Sucking on the cigarette, I slid lower onto the wornout springs of the back seat. Slowly I pulled my gaze away from those we were leaving behind.

One thing I learned from Oklahoma: if I thought about the people too much, I’d be worthless.

Escape Pod 41: Ambient Sleaze

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 40:01 — 27.5MB)

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Show Notes

Rated R. Contains profanity, some physical violence, and violence against dignity.

Ambient Sleaze

by Jeffrey R. DeRego

“Good god, who’d do something like that?” Sarah rummaged through her purse for a handkerchief but couldn’t seem to focus on the task. Her mind was consumed with images of Tony’s perforated body.

“Well, I’ve seen the Tony Autumn Show, so we’ve got an APB out on everyone with a sense of moral decency and every freak, transvestite, midget wrestler, incestuous dad, jilted lover…”

Escape Pod 35: Hero

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 36:20 — 25.0MB)

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Show Notes

Rated R. Contains profanity, violence, and poor life priorities.

Referenced sites:
SciFiction
PodcasterCon
Escape Pod CD Offer

Hero

By Scott Sigler

There is no defense against a perfect weapon.

The perfect weapon is cunning, calculating and ruthless.

I am all of these things.

There is no defense against me.

The words would die with him, for he was the last. Five centuries of tradition would fade from existence, probably as soon as he killed Timmerman. But that didn’t matter, not as long as Timmerman died this day. Poetic justice is all the more eloquent with your enemy’s brains cooked a crispy-brown.

EP Flash: Night Off

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 6:01 — 4.1MB)

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Show Notes

Rated R. Contains profanity and some disturbing imagery.

(Note: Mr. Lundberg has directed that his payment for this story be directed toward Heifer International, providing impoverished people with animals and other resources to become economically self-sustaining.)

Night Off

By Jason Erik Lundberg

The fat man coughed again and rolled over onto his side. He wheezed and his lungs rattled. A few thousand years of being overweight had caused innumerable cardiac and respiratory problems, but the job demanded it.

“Who can you think of to cover you?”

The fat man pondered for a moment, then said, “Lo ho ho?”

His wife frowned. “You know Loki would just cause a mess, and probably light some children on fire. Who else?”

Escape Pod 33: Santa In My Pocket

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 19:46 — 13.6MB)

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Show Notes

Rated R. Contains profanity, sexual situations, and criminal intent. Merry Christmas!

Referenced sites:
Agnostica
Geek Fu Action Grip
I Should Be Writing
Geek Acres

Santa In My Pocket

By Mur Lafferty

When I was a kid, I believed it all, like that old wive’s tale that animals would be granted the gift of speech for one hour on Christmas Eve. I tested that out by keeping my cat locked up in my room with me all night. She never spoke, but she did piss in the corner, since she couldn’t get to her litter box. So she still told me a magical Christmas message, loud and clear.

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