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Escape Pod 797: Flashback-Flash from the Vault

Wetting the Bed originally ran as EP Flash on October 17, 2005.

Chump Change originally ran as EP Flash on April 20, 2009.

Bona Fide originally ran as part of Escape Pod 533: 2016 Flash Fiction Contest Winners

Oasis originally ran as EP Flash #1 on June 6, 2005.

Wetting the Bed includes scenes of apocalyptic death.

Oasis deals with the existence of orgasm and suicidal ideation.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 32:01 — 44.5MB)

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Show Notes

These show notes ran along with Oasis on June 6, 2005:

This piece marks the debut of Escape Pod’s flash fiction — very short stories that will be released between our weekly issues on an irregular basis. We chose “Oasis” as our first because, well, it’s about an escape pod. One can even imagine our logo image as the illustration for this story.

 

Wetting the Bed (Excerpt)

By Heather Shaw

When the floods came, all us kids climbed into bed and pulled the covers up over our heads while our parents rushed about trying to do something to stop it. As the water level rose we could feel the beds lift off the floor, floating through our houses, bumping down our hallways and out our front doors.

We sat up in bed waved to one another as our beds merged onto the canal that now flowed between our houses. We shrieked and giggled as our beds spun and bumped along with the swirling water. Waves lapped at our boxsprings, but our covers were still warm and dry. (Continue Reading…)

Escape Pod 232: Flash Special

Alloy First appeared in Nature, September 2007.

My Grandfather’s River first appeared in Nature, August 2006.

Rated PG. Can get a bit sad in places.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 26:54 — 18.5MB)

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Show Notes

Referenced Sites:
Cybrosis — A podcast novel by P.C. Haring

This week Escape Pod presents three flash stories:

Alloy

By Marissa Lingen
Read by Electra Allenton

Flare

By Kyle Deas
Read by Stephen Eley

My Grandfather’s River

By Brenda Cooper
Read by Anna Eley

Escape Pod 174: Private Detective Molly

Originally published in Strange Horizons

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 38:30 — 26.5MB)

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Show Notes

Rated PG. A somewhat dark kid’s story; contains parental tragedy and complex social issues.

Private Detective Molly

By A.B. Goelman

That’s when I see my new boss. Four feet of trouble. Brunette variety. Tear tracks cutting through the dirt on her face, wearing jeans that were already old when Molly Dolls were nothing more than molded plastic and fantasy homes.

She’s no idiot, though. “I want the Debutante persona,” she says. “You’re still not Debutante Molly are you?”

I like a girl who doesn’t need me to explain everything. “That’s right, kid,” I pull my blonde hair back into a pony tail and cover it with my fedora.

“Why do you keep coming out as a Petey persona?” Poor kid sounds like she’s about to cry. Don’t blame her for wanting Debutante Molly. Debbie’s the kind of girl who reminds me why God bothered with Adam’s rib in the first place. As wholesome and satisfying as a virgin daiquiri on a hot day. Everything I’m not. “Petey’s not even a girl’s name,” the kid says.

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Escape Pod 165: Those Eyes

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 38:25 — 26.4MB)

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Show Notes

Rated PG. Contains some sexual situations and scattered profanity in both English and Spanish.

Those Eyes

By David Brin

“…So you want to talk about flying saucers? I was afraid of that.

“This happens every damn time I’m blackmailed into babysitting you insomniacs, while Talkback Larry escapes to Bimini for a badly needed rest. I’m supposed to field call-in questions about astronomy and outer space for two weeks. You know, black holes and comets? But it seems we always have to spend the first night wrangling over puta UFOs.

“…Now, don’t get excited, sir…. Yeah, I’m just a typical ivory tower scientist, out to repress any trace of unconventional thought. Whatever you say, buddy.”

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Escape Pod 161: Alien Promises

First appeared in Bruce Coville’s Book of Aliens II, ed. Bruce Coville

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 29:42 — 20.4MB)

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Show Notes

Rated G. This is a young adult SF story.

Referenced Sites:
Secret of the Three Treasures by Janni Lee Simner
Bones of Faerie by Janni Lee Simner
Tale Chasing – Urban Fantasy podcast

Alien Promises

By Janni Lee Simner

Jenny was silent for a while. “Promise me something?” she finally asked. “If they ever come for you, promise you’ll let me know?”

“Why?” I had trouble believing Jenny really wanted to leave. Maybe this was all some sort of joke.

“Just promise,” Jenny said.

“No.” Even if she was serious, Jenny was the last person I wanted following me into space.

Jenny took a deep breath. “I’ll tell you, too. If they ever come for me.”

Escape Pod 109: Squonk the Apprentice

Escape Pod 109: Squonk the Apprentice is an Escape Pod original.

Rated G. It’s a children’s story about a dragon raised by a bluebird. Set content expectations accordingly.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 42:00 — 28.9MB)

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Show Notes

Referenced Sites:
EP070: Squonk the Dragon
“How to Talk to Girls at Parties” by Neil Gaiman
2007 Hugo Nominees

Squonk the Apprentice

by P. M. Butler

“What’s a ‘prentice?”

Without thinking, Wendel answered. “An apprentice is young person who wants to be a wizard, so they find an older wizard to teach them.”

The moment the words left his mouth, Wendel’s heart stopped and his eyes went wide. If he’d known a spell that could grab those words and stuff them back down his throat, he would have cast it.

Instead, those words scampered all the way across his bedroom, as words are inclined to do, and rushed into the ears of the dragon in the window. Wendel watched in horror as the words sunk into Squonk’s brain. Squonk’s eyes grew wide, his mouth dropped open, and before Wendel could think of anything to say–

“You can learn to be a wizard?! That’s awesome! I wanna be a wizard! Lemme be your ‘prentice!”

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Escape Pod 85: Merry Christmas from the Heartbreakers

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 47:38 — 32.7MB)

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Show Notes

Rated R. Contains profanity, violence, and the puncturing of childhood myths. Merry Christmas!

Referenced sites:
Reading is Fundamental
Child’s Play
I Should Be Writing
Geek Fu Action Grip
Podsafe Music Network (Terms of Use)

Musical guest: Twisted Sister.

Merry Christmas from the Heartbreakers

by Mur Lafferty

“Look, I think I know where this is going,” Kris Kringle said, but Gingermuffin cut him off.

“Do you? The Heartbreakers have been making Tom Petty sound good for years, and no one gives a damn. Tom Petty gets all of the credit.”

Kris wondered if he was sober enough to have this discussion. “You’re not talking about Tom Petty.”

Gingermuffin slammed his hand down on the table. “Damn right I’m not!” Kris’s carefully stacked poker chips fell over in a clatter of Christmas.

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Escape Pod 61: I Look Forward To Remembering You

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 35:50 — 24.6MB)

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Show Notes

Rated R. Contains profanity, sexual content, and nonlinear temporal prostitution.

Referenced sites:
David Drake: Obituary of Jim Baen
John Ringo: Letter to Jim Baen
Baen Free Library
Baen Webscriptions
The World Turned Upside Down
Not Done Living

I Look Forward To Remembering You

by Mur Lafferty

She smiled at last and gave a satisfied little sigh. He was just as she’d ordered. Without raising her eyes to his face, she asked, “So when do we begin?”

“We just have some paperwork to go over,” he said. He bent over to pick up his bathrobe and Susan stared as his muscles flexed. Kevin slipped the robe on with the slow grace of someone who was unashamed of his nakedness. “Once we take care of that, I’ll go back to headquarters and take my trip back to 1992, find your younger self, and seduce her.”

Escape Pod 44: Show and Tell

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 23:52 — 16.4MB)

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Show Notes

Rated PG. Contains mild scenes of violence enacted by somewhat strange children.

Referenced sites:
The Numbers – Movie Budgets
Lies and Little Deaths: A Virtual Anthology
The Speech Accent Archive

Show and Tell

By Greg van Eekhout

Dex asks if he can keep the bullet, and Brindi says to give it back, and Teacher reminds her to say please. Brindi agrees to throw bullets at the rest of us, so she does the thing with her finger and it’s BOOM, BOOM, BOOM and whip-whip-whip for the next few minutes.

When she’s done there’s smoke in the air and it stinks and we applaud and give back her bullets. Brindi has had a great show, and I don’t know how anyone can beat it.

Show and Tell is important because it prepares us to be impressive.

Escape Pod 33: Santa In My Pocket

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 19:46 — 13.6MB)

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Show Notes

Rated R. Contains profanity, sexual situations, and criminal intent. Merry Christmas!

Referenced sites:
Agnostica
Geek Fu Action Grip
I Should Be Writing
Geek Acres

Santa In My Pocket

By Mur Lafferty

When I was a kid, I believed it all, like that old wive’s tale that animals would be granted the gift of speech for one hour on Christmas Eve. I tested that out by keeping my cat locked up in my room with me all night. She never spoke, but she did piss in the corner, since she couldn’t get to her litter box. So she still told me a magical Christmas message, loud and clear.