Read by Jake Squid
It’s going to be the Three of Clubs.
I know this, as certainly as I know my own name. I’m less sure about some things than my fans would think. But sometimes, the swirling laws governing what _may_ happen coalesce into what _will_ happen with astonishing clarity. The sun will rise tomorrow, the Pirates will beat the Mets tonight, and as soon as I announce my “guess,” the Three of Clubs will appear on the monitor in front of me.
“Jack of Spades,” I proclaim, full of conviction.
The monitor flickers, and is suddenly filled by a pixilated version of the Three of Clubs.
Rated PG for…welll, you already know why, don’t you?