Archive for For Kids

Escape Pod 92: The Boy Who Yelled “Dragon!”

Show Notes

Rated G. It’s a children’s story. Not recommended for cynical audiences.

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The Boy Who Yelled “Dragon!”

by Mike Resnick

Now, this Land was the home of exceptionally brave warriors and beautiful damsels (and occasionally they were the same person, since beautiful damsels were pretty assertive back then). Each young boy and girl was taught all the arts of warfare, and were soon adept with sword, mace, lance, bow and arrow, dagger, and the off-putting snide remark. They were schooled in horsemanship, camouflage, and military strategy. They learned eye-gouging, ear-biting, kidney-punching, and — since they were destined to become knights and ladies — gentility.

So successful was their training that before long enemy armies were afraid to attack them. Within the borders of the Land justice was so swift that there was not a single criminal left. It
would have been a very peaceful and idyllic kingdom indeed — except for the dragons.

Escape Pod 73: Barnaby in Exile

Show Notes

Rated G. Contains nothing age-inappropriate. However, some listeners may find it excessively sad.

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Referenced sites:
2006 Podcast & Portable Media Expo


Barnaby in Exile

by Mike Resnick

“Very good, Barnaby,” she says. “And what is this?”

“Kitten,” I say.

We go through the whole book.

“Where is Barnaby?” I ask.

“Barnaby is an ape,” she says. “There is no picture of an ape in the book.”

I wonder if there are any other Barnabys in the world, and if they are lonely too.

Escape Pod 70: Squonk the Dragon

Show Notes

Rated G. This is a children’s story. Have Fun.

Referenced sites:
Variant Frequencies

(Technical Note: This is a corrected version of the sound file; my original one had a cut-and-paste glitch in the outro. Apologies to anyone who gets a duplicate, and thanks to Tony Mast of the Fanboy Smackdown podcast for pointing out the error.)


Squonk the Dragon

By Pete Butler

Squonk lived with his mother, who was definitely not a dragon–she was a small blue bird named Mrs. Tweedle-Chirp. Now, it is true that birds generally cannot lay dragon eggs, and Mrs. Tweedle-Chirp was no exception. But, they can care for dragon eggs that they happen to find lying untended in the middle of the forest, assuming they are suitably ambitious.

EP Flash: The Uncanny Valley

Show Notes

Rated G. (Anything that isn’t G-rated in this story is entirely the product of your imagination.)


The Uncanny Valley

By Jared Axelrod

“I’m sorry,” Purby said, reshuffling the papers on his desk. “What was the problem with her?”

“Her breathing. She breathes. She doesn’t stop.”

“Yes, and?”

“It’s unnerving.”

EP Flash: Paul Bunyan and the Photocopier

Show Notes

Rated G. Objects in story may be larger than they appear.


Paul Bunyan and the Photocopier

by Larry Hammer

Well, the time came Paul Bunyan had a pretty successful thing going with his lumber business. Fact is, the first year his company went public, the stock price doubled, and it went up fifty percent each of the three years after that. Mind you, this made Paul a target for corporate raiders. Why, the battle he had with Bluebeard is a yarn and a half–but that’s another tale. This is the story of what happened when Paul Bunyan’s secretary went on vacation.

Escape Pod 47: Poet for Hire

Show Notes

Rated G. Contains implied violence and the sordid crimes of the pickle business.


Poet for Hire

By Sue Burke

She had been wondering if she should start her own poetry business. She believed Milwaukee might need a poet for hire to spread the magic of verse around the town. Sometimes, in her current job as a medical secretary, she secretly wrote poems for especially ill patients. They got well, and Verity felt certain the focused mental energy from the poems helped them. She wanted to write poetry full-time to spread its energy to more people — to become the city’s first commercial free-lance poet.

EP Flash: The Team-Mate Reference Problem in Final-Stage Demon Confrontation

Show Notes

Rated G. Important safety tip. (Thanks, Egon.)


The Team-Mate Reference Problem in Final-Stage Demon Confrontation

By Constance Cooper

Colleagues, ours is a uniquely demanding profession. In no other job do you endanger your coworker’s soul if you call out to him in the course of your duties. But since a demon has power over you once it knows your name, well-meant warnings such as “Buck! Behind you!” can have tragic consequences.

Genres:

EP Flash: Wetting the Bed

Show Notes

Rated G. It’s apocalyptic fantasy — for kids!


Wetting the Bed

By Heather Shaw

When the floods came, all us kids climbed into bed and pulled the covers up over our heads while our parents rushed about trying to do something to stop it. As the water level rose we could feel the beds lift off the floor, floating through our houses, bumping down our hallways and out our front doors.

We sat up in bed waved to one another as our beds merged onto the canal that now flowed between our houses. We shrieked and giggled as our beds spun and bumped along with the swirling water. Waves lapped at our boxsprings, but our covers were still warm and dry.

EP Flash: Troy Trooper


Troy Trooper

By Alex Holden

“Piece of crap!” The boy kicked the toy soldier hard and it flew across the room.

“Ow,” said Troy, as he warily checked himself for damage, “what was that for?”

Escape Pod 12: Clean Up Your Room!

Show Notes

Rated G. Contains intense maternal nagging and disturbing chorework. May not be suitable for some adults.


Clean Up Your Room!

By Laura Anne Gilman

“Jessy, put that away and come eat breakfast. You won’t get anything useful done on an empty stomach.” The voice was the usual gender-neutral computer-generated drone, and yet it sounded different to her this morning. Obviously, the tone modifiers Gregory had suggested were working, too. That was going to be a selling point for everyone yelping about the dehumanization of home life. In a few generations, they’d be able to personalize the voice, maybe even to customer order.