Archive for 17 and Up

Escape Pod 113: Ishmael in Love

Show Notes

Related Links:
Steve’s LiveJournal (cleaning updates)


Ishmael in Love

by Robert Silverberg

I am a lonely mammalian organism who has committed acts of heroism on behalf of your species and wishes only the reward of a more intimate relationship [“love”] with Miss Lisabeth Calkins. I beseech compassionate members of H. sapiens to speak favorably of me to her. I am loyal, trustworthy, reliable, devoted, and extremely intelligent. I would endeavor to give her stimulating companionship and emotional fulfillment [“happiness”] in all respects within my power.

Permit me to explain the pertinent circumstances.

Escape Pod 111: Mayfly


Mayfly

by Heather Lindsley

The reflection of what appears to be a girl of eleven looks back at me from the full-length mirror in the bedroom that was my mother’s. Together we spit out yet another baby tooth, which reminds me I need to drink another calcium-enriched protein shake. Either that, or eat what remains of my mother.

She’s the pile of coarse dust scattered across the bedsheets. Some of my kind swear by mother dust, the way certain factions among the rest of the population swear by breast feeding. And there are benefits, whether you’re still a kid with growing bones or an adult woman facing osteoporosis by the end of the week.

But my mother is not strawberry-flavored, so I opt for the shake.

Escape Pod 106: The House Beyond Your Sky


The House Beyond Your Sky

by Benjamin Rosenbaum

The simulations, while good, are not impenetrable even to their own inhabitants. Scientists teaching baboons to sort blocks may notice that all other baboons become instantly better at block-sorting, revealing a high-level caching mechanism. Or engineers building their own virtual worlds may find they cannot use certain tricks of optimization and compression‚Äîfor Matthias has already used them. Only when the jig is up does Matthias reveal himself, asking each simulated soul: what now? Most accept Matthias’s offer to graduate beyond the confines of their simulation, and join the general society of Matthias’s house.

You may regard them as bright parakeets, living in wicker cages with open doors. The cages are hung from the ceiling of the priest’s clay hut. The parakeets flutter about the ceiling, visit each other, steal bread from the table, and comment on Matthias’s doings.

Escape Pod 99: Start the Clock

Show Notes

Rated R. Contains graphic sexual content and children who are a bit too grown up. Literally.

Today’s Sponsor:

Referenced Sites:
Contest: Name the Fantasy Podcast
WHOIS Gateway Service


Start the Clock

By Benjamin Rosenbaum

Frankly, we were excited. This move was what our Pack needed — the four of us, at least, were sure of it. We were all tired of living in the ghetto — we were in three twentieth-century townhouses in Billings, in an “age-mixed” area full of marauding Thirteens and Fourteens and Fifteens. Talk about a people damned by CDAS — when the virus hit them, it had stuck their pituitaries and thyroids like throttles jammed open. It wasn’t just the giantism and health problems caused by a thirty-year overdose on growth hormones, testosterone, estrogen, and androgen. They suffered more from their social problems — criminality, violence, orgies, jealousy — and their endless self-pity.

Okay, Max liked them. And most of the rest of us had been at least entertained by living in the ghetto. At birthday parties, we could always shock the other Packs with our address. But that was when all eight of us were there, before Katrina and Ogbu went south. With eight of us, we’d felt like a full Pack — invincible, strong enough to laugh at anyone.

Escape Pod 98: Just Do It

Show Notes

Rated R. Contains sexual innuendo, advertising warfare, and better living through chemistry.


Just Do It

By Heather Lindsley

“What do you see?” he asks.

I want to say a menace, but instead I tap the delivery barrel and give the context-appropriate answer. “Unused ad space.”

Suddenly he’s a schoolmaster who has finally found a bright pupil in a classroom full of dunces.

“Exactly, Ms. Monroe. Exactly. No square millimeter wasted, that’s what I say.” He leans across the table and whispers conspiratorially, “We’re looking at co-branding an AOL-Time-Warner-Starbucks Lattepaloosa Crave with a Forever Fitness session discount.”

Escape Pod 93: {Now + n, Now – n}

Show Notes

Rated R. Contains sex, nudity, and explicit finance.


{Now + n, Now – n}

by Robert Silverberg

All had been so simple, so elegant, so profitable for ourselves. And then we met the lovely Selene and nearly were undone. She came into our lives during our regular transmission hour on Wednesday, October 7, 1987, between six and seven P.M. Central European Time. The moneymaking hour. I was in satisfactory contact with myself and also with myself. (Now — n was due on the line first, and then I would hear from (now + n).

Genres:

Escape Pod 89: Bean There

Show Notes

Rated R. Contains sexual imagery and themes, and lots of caffeine.

Today’s Sponsor:


Bean There

By Jack Skillingstead

“You call it crazy,” Aimee said. “I call it Evolution.”

With a capital E. The famous newsclip seen around the world. The aliens arrived neither as an invading force nor as beneficent galactic pals. By their own description they were ‘Harbingers.’

Famous network interviewer: “Harbingers of what?”

Alien: “Evolution.”

Escape Pod Flash: Nightshift in the Automart

Show Notes

Rated R. Contains partial nudity, some language, petty crime, and a few gods’ names taken in vain.


Nightshift in the Automart

By Andrew Gudgel

The doors whooshed open and the Goddess Kali strode up to the counter. She stopped in front of him, grinning wickedly. Straight platinum-blonde hair spilled down over her shoulders and high bare breasts, contrasting with her inky black skin. Jeremy noticed a necklace of tiny, perfectly-formed ceramic skulls hung around her neck.

“Hi, Jeremy.”

“‘Lo, Suzy.”

The Goddess Kali’s eyes flashed red with anger. “Don’t call me that!” Behind her, a whole pantheon wandered the aisles, looking for late-night snacks.

Escape Pod 88: Blood of Virgins

Show Notes

Rated R. Contains sexual themes, third-world exploitation, and awkward freshmen.

Referenced sites:
Foster on Film (Pre-screening giveaway)


Blood of Virgins

by David Barr Kirtley

Other dragons cavorted on the airy currents. Those dragons were cherry red or lime green or creamy brown. Their riders steered them up the beach, or inland toward the mall, or back to campus.

A slender girl on a pink dragon passed us going the opposite way, her blond hair billowing. Matt waved to her. He said over his shoulder, “I met that girl last night. Hold on, I want to say hi.” He yanked the reins and we banked sharply. My stomach lurched. We swept around in an arc and came up alongside the girl. Her dragon had the guileless beady eyes and scrunched up cheeks of a lap dog. Matt said, “Hi. Dora, right?”

“Deirdre,” she corrected. “And you’re … Matt?” He grinned, and she said, “I like your dragon.”

Escape Pod 87: Authorwerx

Show Notes

Rated R. Contains profanity and a disturbing resemblance to Philip K. Dick.

Referenced sites:
Eley’s writing progress
New forums (finally!)


Authorwerx

by Greg van Eekhout

I launched into my next bit, which I’d rehearsed that morning on the tram. “What I liked about your stories is that you never knew where they were going. It’d start off as a World War II military adventure, but then it would wind up being about android worms from another dimension out to steal Earth’s dirt. It’s like other writers’ stories are bridges: There’s a beginning, there’s an end, and it’s a pretty straight shot through. It might be a long bridge, or curvy, maybe, so you can’t quite see the ending coming. But the trip basically makes sense. Your stories were different, though. You always blew up your bridges halfway across, and you’d have to swim for the banks, and you’d end up on some rock with weird lizards.”

On the verge of laughter, he looked at me. “You’re kidding, right?”