Rated R. Contains sexual violence, Satanic summonings, and similar wholesome family bonding.
There was a group of them at college who were into Satanism. My mom, Betty Bloxham as she was then, was one of them. It all sounds a bit kinky, going into the woods at dead of night and dancing in the nude under the full moon.
Anyway, they were all high on drugs at the time, so I doubt they knew what they were doing.
Rated R. Contains explicit sexual content. And ghosts. Explicit sexual ghosts, really.
Referenced Sites:
Retrieval Detachment
“I suppose you think we turn into cats and foxes when your back is turned?”
I smiled. “Only some of you – you, for example. You’re much too beautiful to be human, but you could be a cat, a flower, a tree – no, scratch that one, you’re too short.” I glanced at Hiroshi. “Maybe Shimako’s the tree-spirit,” I said, softly. Hiroshi ignored me, but Miyume covered her mouth and laughed.
“I assure you, I’m quite human,” she said. “I don’t doubt that Shimako is, too. And how many girls have you used that line on, before?”
Rated R. Contains sex, violence, sacrilege, and other epic necessities.
Twenty Epics
Twenty Epics (PDF download)
Silent Universe
“Do I know you?” she says.
“I remember you,” he says, and she smiles. It’s another game. He has been a spy fleeing his country. She has been an adulterous First Lady. They have been psychiatrist and schizophrenic; vampire and victim; two blind people speculating on the world they cannot see. They will make love as themselves when they leave the Rose for a room upstairs, and tomorrow he will finish his business and leave her city. But first they dine as other people.
Rated R. Contains violence, brief sexual violence, and minor profanity.
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Referenced sites:
“The Coming Technological Singularity,” by Vernor Vinge
“I like the taste of home-grown tomatoes,” I tell him. “Ones at the Safeway taste like wallpaper.”
“But nano won’t make tomatoes that taste processed,” he says in that way that men like to correct women. “That machinery will make the best tomatoes this town ever tasted.”
“Well, I hope you’re right.” Then Will and Kimee spilled their fight out through the screen door into the back yard, and Jackie started whimpering on his blanket, and I didn’t have no time for any nanomachinery.
Rated R. Contains some profanity and explicit sexual imagery.
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Referenced sites:
The Rookie by Scott Sigler
“The man talked a mile a minute in a thin, squeaky voice; even if he hadn’t been panicked, it probably would have sounded unpleasant. “All I did was try to stop him from buying her some deep-fried artichoke hearts. How could that be construed as attempted murder? They can’t pin anything on me, can they? Why would they think I was trying to kill anybody?”
“Maybe you’d better tell me, Mr. … uh?”
“Hendergast. Lionel Hendergast. And I read the terms of the contract very carefully before we went back in time. It didn’t say anything about deep-fried artichoke hearts.”
Rated G. Contains nothing age-inappropriate. However, some listeners may find it excessively sad.
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Referenced sites:
2006 Podcast & Portable Media Expo
“Very good, Barnaby,” she says. “And what is this?”
“Kitten,” I say.
We go through the whole book.
“Where is Barnaby?” I ask.
“Barnaby is an ape,” she says. “There is no picture of an ape in the book.”
I wonder if there are any other Barnabys in the world, and if they are lonely too.
Rated R. Contains profanity and strong political themes. Not happy politics, like we have today. 1930s politics.
(Inspired by the song “God & the FBI” by Janis Ian, published by Windham Hill. Song included with Janis Ian’s permission.)
Referenced sites:
Wikipedia: Alternate history
AlternateHistory.com
“If Lee Had Not Won the Civil War,” by Winston Churchill
Today in Alternate History (by Robbie Taylor)
Bring the Jubilee, by Ward Moore
Turtledove Wiki
(Update 9/24: Many of you will probably get a duplicate download. This time it’s deliberate. I had requested permission to play Janis Ian’s song, “God and the FBI,” but she was touring Europe and didn’t get my e-mail in time. She just responded and graciously gave me permission, so I’m revising the file and including it at the end. If you don’t want to hear the whole story again, just skip forward 41 minutes. Thank you, Janis!)
Two men left. Franklin D. Roosevelt. D for Delano, mind. Governor of New York. Cousin to Teddy Roosevelt. Already ran for Vice President once. Didn’t win. Cigarette holder. Jaunty angle. Wheelchair. Paralysis. Anguish. Courage. As near an aristocrat as America grows. Franklin D. Roosevelt. D for Delano.
And Joe Steele.
Joe Steele. Congressman from California. Not San Francisco. Not Nob Hill. Good Lord, no. Fresno. Farm country. That great valley, squeezed by mountains east and west. Not a big fellow, Joe Steele. Stands real straight, so you don’t notice too much. Mustache, a good-sized one. Thick head of hair just starting to go gray. Eyelids like shutters. When they go down and then come up again, you can’t see what was behind them.
Rated R. Contains religious satire, gangster satire, and profanity. Not for those who take their hellfire too seriously.
Referenced sites:
Destructomundo
Eve looked startled. “You used to be in Heaven? And now you’re working for the Lord of Flies?”
“He don’t go by that title no more. He didn’t like the novel, thought it showed him in a bad light. And don’t call him ‘Beelzebub,’ neither,” I advised, figuring it wouldn’t hurt to give these underdressed kids a little help. “He’s gotten real sensitive about it. He thinks it makes him sound like a character in an English comedy.”
Rated G. This is a children’s story. Have Fun.
Referenced sites:
Variant Frequencies
(Technical Note: This is a corrected version of the sound file; my original one had a cut-and-paste glitch in the outro. Apologies to anyone who gets a duplicate, and thanks to Tony Mast of the Fanboy Smackdown podcast for pointing out the error.)
Squonk lived with his mother, who was definitely not a dragon–she was a small blue bird named Mrs. Tweedle-Chirp. Now, it is true that birds generally cannot lay dragon eggs, and Mrs. Tweedle-Chirp was no exception. But, they can care for dragon eggs that they happen to find lying untended in the middle of the forest, assuming they are suitably ambitious.
