EP Flash: Mount Dragon

Show Notes

Rated PG. Contains some profanity. Paradigms may shift without warning.


Mount Dragon

By Vera Nazarian

“Go to hell, idiot,” I said, using an astringent tongue he’d understand. “I am but a monumental slab of granite, and you, mortality, are like one of the droppings of a fairly large corpulent deity–an ephemeral honor I would rather pass me by.”

“And yet, you speak to me, mountain,” said the mote of humanity. “Why is that?”

I considered that for a moment. The creature had a point.

“I don’t know,” I replied honestly.

Escape Pod 25: The Great Old Pumpkin

Show Notes

Rated PG. Contains dark imagery and terrifying fruit.

Referenced sites:
Eyes of Ligeia
Amphigory
K9Cast

Music by Toby Chappell.


The Great Old Pumpkin

By John Aegard

As you are no doubt aware, I am the issue of solid Dutch stock‚ Äîthe prosperous Van Pelt family of St. Paul. Mine was a comfortable and happy childhood, and I spent much of it in the devoted service of the Great Old Pumpkin. For him, I cultivated an annual pumpkin patch. I also evangelized him in the community, relating the tale of how, every year on Hallowmas Eve, the day when the spiritual most strongly encroaches on the substantial, this mightiest of gourds would rise to revel across the world with the most sincere of his adorers. My neighbors were understandably skeptical; after all, not once had this superbeing ever chosen to grace my pumpkin patch or any other place in our town. I vowed that I would coax him into my backyard, and I set out in the manner of a learned man to discover how I might do this.

Escape Pod 24: The Death Trap of Dr. Nefario

Show Notes

Rated PG. Contains childhood trauma and mild gratuitous villainy.

Referenced sites:
Dead White Guys
The Sci Phi Show


The Death Trap of Dr. Nefario

By Benjamin Rosenbaum

“Well, you know, Doc, safe is a relative thing in my profession, but I have you on the headset, and I’m picking the lock on these handcuffs as we’re talking. I think I’ll be fine, the piranhas are still 5 or 6 feet below me.”

“All right, but isn’t our conversation going to distract you?” I asked. “I know you’re upset, but wouldn’t you rather call back at another time?”

“I’d really like to talk about it, Doc. I always find talking to you clears my mind and makes me more effective. I may need to go if the henchmen come back, though.”

Genres:

EP Flash: Wetting the Bed

Show Notes

Rated G. It’s apocalyptic fantasy — for kids!


Wetting the Bed

By Heather Shaw

When the floods came, all us kids climbed into bed and pulled the covers up over our heads while our parents rushed about trying to do something to stop it. As the water level rose we could feel the beds lift off the floor, floating through our houses, bumping down our hallways and out our front doors.

We sat up in bed waved to one another as our beds merged onto the canal that now flowed between our houses. We shrieked and giggled as our beds spun and bumped along with the swirling water. Waves lapped at our boxsprings, but our covers were still warm and dry.

Recognition


It’s been a busy week for Escape Pod. I’ve got a few shoutouts accumulated over the past few days, so let’s get to them all:

  1. The new Yahoo! Podcasts directory launched on Monday. What’s more, they’ve chosen to feature Escape Pod as one of their “New & Noteworthy” podcasts for their debut week! This is the first time we’ve had prominent front-page status on any major podcast portal, and we’re just tickled about it. If it suits you, feel free to visit our page there and rate us or leave us a review. And to everyone who just found us via Yahoo!, welcome.
  2. I had the pleasure of speaking with Mur Lafferty for her I Should Be Writing podcast, a resource specifically for beginning writers. We had a good conversation, talking about Escape Pod, the Viable Paradise workshop, and perspectives on writing and persistence. If you’re writing and still working to get published, you really should be listening to Mur’s show. Check it out!
  3. Fan art! FNH sent us this fun little piece from the inside of our logo:
    Escape Pod Fan Art
    That’s far too cool for me not to share it with you.
  4. And of course it’s Thursday, so we have a new podcast. You’ll find that right underneath these words.

Escape Pod 23: The Dream Factory

Show Notes

Rated R. Contains sexual situations and a sleazy industry.

Referenced sites:
The Bear’s Grove
Podcheck Review
Thither.biz


The Dream Factory

By Jenn Reese

You need some younger Ast-tlakians for a new fantasy feature the company is doing. It’s Lord of the Rings meets Kindergarten Cop. Vin Diesel to star, Woo to direct. So you need a bunch of realistic fantasy creatures, and Stan Winston figured out long ago that it was easier to hire off-world than build all these bizarre creatures from scratch. It’s a big industry secret, and you need to keep it that way. You have a tendency to brag and name-drop when you’re drunk, so you’re only mostly sure that you haven’t told anyone.

Escape Pod 22: Don Ysidro

Show Notes

Rated PG. Contains death rituals with possible disturbing imagery, and numerous pot references. (No, not that kind.)

Referenced sites:
Short-Short Stories
Podiobooks


Don Ysidro

By Bruce Holland Rogers

On that last morning, anyone who came to visit me could see that I was dying. I knew it myself. As if I had cotton in my ears, I heard the voice of don Leandro saying to my wife, “Dona Susana, I think it is time to fetch the priest,” and I thought, yes, it’s time.

We don’t have our own priest, or even our own church, so someone has to drive in a pickup truck to get the priest from El Puentecito. But don’t be fooled by what you may hear in Malpasa or in Palpan de Baranda. Here we remain Catholic. Yes, we make pots in the old way. That’s why tourists come here. And it’s true, as is sometimes whispered, that we have restored certain other practices from the past. But not as they were done back then. Those were bloody and terrible times, the times of the Mejica. They say that the sacrificial blood covered the sun pyramids from top to bottom. Thank the Virgin, we don’t do anything like that.

EP Flash: Troy Trooper


Troy Trooper

By Alex Holden

“Piece of crap!” The boy kicked the toy soldier hard and it flew across the room.

“Ow,” said Troy, as he warily checked himself for damage, “what was that for?”

Escape Pod 21: Platypus Girl

Show Notes

Rated R. Contains violence, profanity, and crimes against chemistry.

Referenced sites:
Mirrormask


Platypus Girl

By Jonathon Sullivan

Rufus didn’t relent. “How come you ain’t got a license, skillet face?”

Shari struggled to keep her own distaste under control. Emotion could screw up the reading, her own pheromones and toxins clogging up the massive olfactory bulb and entorhinal cortex that occupied most of her cranium. She took a deep breath, pulling air through her huge nostrils, trying to calm herself. At least she didn’t have to see the man’s face.

Mirrormask Giveaway!


As I just mentioned in the Metacast, we’ve got the opportunity to give away some collectibles related to the Neil Gaiman movie Mirrormask, opening in limited release on September 30. Not exactly sure yet what the stuff’s going to be, but I was told “Several large posters, a couple sets of action figures.” Works for me.

So what can you do to win this stuff? Just drop me a line or post in our forum with your personal answers to the following questions:

  1. What was your favorite story on Escape Pod so far?
  2. How did you first hear about Escape Pod?
  3. Is there anything you’d like to see more of or less of? Any new features you’d like us to offer? Anything we should do differently?

Be honest. Be creative. After a couple of weeks (let’s say Sunday, October 9) I’ll randomly pick some of the people who responded and contact them for their addresses. Not sure how much stuff we have to give away yet, so I can’t tell you how many winners there will be. But you’ll be helping us make Escape Pod better, so it’s worth it regardless. Right?