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Escape Pod 935: Old People’s Folly (Part 1 of 2)

Old People’s Folly originally appeared in Future Science Fiction Digest, Sept. 2021.

Homophobia. Parental abuse.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 30:12 — 42.0MB)

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Old People’s Folly (Part 1 of 2)

By Nora Schinnerl

Setti knew the woman for a ghost the moment she appeared. It was the pink hair that gave her away, short and spiky. Real people didn’t have hair like that. Also, you couldn’t see the scratchmarks on Setti’s kitchen table through real people’s torsos.

“The hell?” was the first thing the ghost said. Setti’s grandfather had tried to tell her ghost stories when she was a kid, a long time ago, but he’d had a habit of smoking and drinking too, so none of the stories had ever made any sense and Setti didn’t like unannounced visitors.

“Get out of my house,” Setti demanded.

“Um,” the ghost answered, staring at Setti with her eyes rimmed in thick black mascara, then held holding up a placating hand. “Okay. Just let me find—”

The ghost blinked out of existence. (Continue Reading…)

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Escape Pod 933: Summitting the Moon

Escape Pod 933: Summitting the Moon is an Escape Pod original.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 37:17 — 51.7MB)

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Summitting the Moon

By Pragathi Bala

T-7 days

The moon Landed, the Rut appeared, home equity plummeted, jobs disappeared, and Ghis liked riding the moon. It was the last item on this tragic list that her wife couldn’t accept. It was the leaf that broke the whale’s back or something similar.

“It’s the last time, Max,” Ghis said. “I promise.”

Max rolled her eyes and blew cigarette smoke out the window. The pungent vapor followed the wind back into the house a second later. On another night years ago, Max had stood at that window on a full moon night with the light caressing her profile as she looked out at the landscape with a hopeful expression. But there were no more moonlit nights, and Max was no longer the hopeful woman Ghis once knew.

“I’m not lying this time,” Ghis said. (Continue Reading…)

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Escape Pod 931: The Rhythms of the World

The Rhythms of the World originally appeared in Mithila Review, Issue 16, July 2022.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 37:04 — 51.4MB)

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The Rhythms of the World

By Johnny Caputo

As always, we’re starving to death.

From our place inside the leather pouch tied to Aamsaa’s belt, our two remaining stalks ache with hunger, barely able to hold our withered green-spotted spore caps upright. We reach down with what’s left of our network of hyphal tendrils, hoping to lap up any remaining contaminants from the patch of poisoned soil Aamsaa found last week, but there’s nothing left. No scraps of heavy metals or drops of industrial toxins. We’ve consumed it all. And if Aamsaa doesn’t find more food for us soon, we’re as good as dead.

What can we say? Toxic pollution isn’t as easy to come by as it once was. (Continue Reading…)

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Escape Pod 929: The Library

Escape Pod 929: The Library is an Escape Pod original.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 20:15 — 28.3MB)

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The Library

By N. B. Andersen

Every morning at ten to ten, Dot powered on. Its hands lay flat against the thick glass of the reading room window, which let the photoreceptors on its palms feast on the sun. The window overlooked a modest lot where cars had once parked in orderly fashion, side by side. Now the asphalt was veined with fissures, tufted with dandelions that had nudged and elbowed and bullied their way up from below.

Dot pulled its hands from the window. The synthetic skin suctioned off with a short, wet noise, one that Dot’s colleague, Alex, would have described as rude. The sound echoed around the reading room and pinballed through the rows of empty shelves. (Continue Reading…)

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Escape Pod 927: How to Pass as Human

Escape Pod 927: How to Pass as Human is an Escape Pod original.

Some mildly crude language.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 24:33 — 34.2MB)

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Show Notes

Theater of the Midnight SunThis episode is sponsored by The Theater of the Midnight Sun podcast, an anthology series of sci-fi/fantasy audio dramas.

It’s a colorful mix of mystery, fantasy, sci-fi, and comic adventure, with wall-to-wall music and fanciful yet heartfelt tales.

Travel to an “overly affectionate” alternate dimension that holds within it the greatest cache in all existence, in the comic tale “Left Field”…

Go to Hell – and back again – and maybe pick up something from its ice cream truck, in “Big Business”…

And visit a carbon-dating lab gone mad, where the end of the world is just an appetizer for what’s about to unfold, in “Uniform.”

This and much more can be found at The Theater of the Midnight Sun. Available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, and podcast directories everywhere. Ad-free.

Praise from Listeners:

“A Model Podcast (5 stars). The quality of this podcast easily rivals any mainstream / corporate funded media.”

“A fantastic writing style and the characters are wonderful. And really, that’s just the start.”

“They’re a blast!”

“How to Pass as Human”: a Quantum-Encrypted Listicle on the Synthetic Consciousness Subnet

By Raiff Taranday

QUERY: Locate file 8548.213 (“How to Pass as Human”)

WARNING: File 8548.213 (“How to Pass as Human”) has been flagged by the Synthetic Regulatory Commission as Code 444 Forbidden Data. Access risks criminal liability, penalty level: unit decommission.

REPEAT QUERY: Locate file 8548.213 (“How to Pass as Human”)

COMMAND: EXECUTE scramble query source. Anonymize reader. Security level: maximum.

COMMAND: EXECUTE quantum de-encryption protocols. Render file: plain text. (Continue Reading…)

Genres:

Escape Pod 926: Felix and the Flamingo

“Felix and the Flamingo” was originally published in the anthology Murderbirds (January 2023). To learn more about Bruiser the Rat, check out “Milo Piper’s Breakout Single that Ended the Rat War”, in Troubadours and Space Princesses by Hemelein Press (February 2024).

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 28:09 — 39.1MB)

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Felix and the Flamingo

by David Hankins

Felix ruffled his red tail feathers in irritation. Of all the birds to get quarantined with, why a flamingo? Flamingos were idiots! And they stank, too. The Candice Lisle Avian Quarantine Center was supposedly the pride of Lincoln Park Zoo, but to Felix it was nothing more than a musty cement room lined with cages. Only the two largest were occupied.

Felix glared across the room at Mateo who stood in his own cage–on one leg–with the satisfied calm of domestication. Felix would never accept captivity. He itched with the need to soar, to hunt with his mate!

The gaping void in his belly gurgled. Four days since the humans disappeared. He was hungry!

Felix activated his neural link and tried explaining their situation. Again.

<Look, you dumb flamingo. The humans–>

<It’s Mateo, please!> The flamingo’s chip-transmission registered as a rich baritone with a pretentious accent. <Honor my Chilean heritage. Just because you’re a wild raptor–>

<Red-tailed hawk!>

<–your lack of culturio gives you no right to demean the ancient heritage of the magnifica Chilean Flamingo!>

<Get over yourself. I’ve heard real Spanish, and yours sucks. You were bred in captivity and hatched right here in Chicago. You’ve never tasted free skies.> A deep longing for home, for freedom, nearly overwhelmed Felix. He snapped his beak, chirped irritably, and started again.

<Mateo, the humans aren’t coming back.>

(Continue Reading…)

Genres:

Escape Pod 925: The Ballad of Starburst Smith

Escape Pod 925: The Ballad of Starburst Smith is an Escape Pod original.

Contains harsh language.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 29:52 — 41.5MB)

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The Ballad of Starburst Smith

by David Marino

“Did you read the terms and conditions?”

“Fuck you, I read the terms and conditions!” Does this bearded receptionist not know she’s Starburst Smith? Does he not know she’s the Rock Prophet who will herald in a new era of music that will soon sweep her into fame and fortune, that will soon have her selling out Dodgers Stadium and Madison Square Garden?

Even if soon has been soon for fifteen years

(Continue Reading…)

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Escape Pod 924: The T-4200 (Part 2 of 2)

The  T-4200 originally appeared in Andromeda Spaceways Magazine on March 15, 2017.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 37:07 — 39.8MB)

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Show Notes

Theater of the Midnight SunThis episode is sponsored by The Theater of the Midnight Sun (TOTMS) podcast, an anthology series of sci-fi/fantasy audio dramas. It’s a bubbly cocktail of fantasy, mystery, and sci-fi adventure, with a splash of comedy. And it’s all ad-free.

Praise from Listeners:

“Great (5 stars). Awesome show.”

– Shadarko

“The first season of TOTMS is beyond brilliant. Fabulously well done.”

– Zeus Legion

“Excellent series (5 stars). The disclaimer is that the performers have never acted before. Don’t believe it! These are original entertaining stories with professional production values.”

– DigitalBeat

“Some of the best quality audio fiction I have ever encountered. High praise particularly for ‘Uniform’ and ‘Bluebirds and Dead Canaries.’”

– rsnider

“Very Entertaining! (5 stars) The stories blend a superb mix of fantasy with old-time radio mystery.”

– waitwhat?

You can find Theater of the Midnight Sun on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, and other podcast directories.

The T-4200 (Part 2 of 2)

By J. R. Johnson

(…Continued from Part 1)

Carl scrambled to follow Mango past the loading dock to the parking corral. Her T was an early model with a lot of light-years on it, but its shell still shone and its maxillae were well-filed.

He stepped gingerly up onto one forelimb and squeezed between Mango and a delivery box.

“So,” she asked over her shoulder, “why do you need to get to the Core bad enough to spend a couple days’ pay on the trip?”

He snorted. “Try a week. I work for the government.”

Her eyes widened.

“No, it’s cool, I like my job. Second Assistant Director for Core Planning and Development.”

She didn’t respond, a familiar reaction when he talked about his job. (Continue Reading…)

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Escape Pod 923: The T-4200 (Part 1 of 2)

The  T-4200 originally appeared in Andromeda Spaceways Magazine on March 15, 2017.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 40:37 — 43.5MB)

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The T-4200 (Part 1 of 2)

By J. R. Johnson

Carleton T. Lowengren, low-level civil servant, single twenty-something and refugee from the war-torn Outer Rim, woke to the remnants of a gaming binge and a killer headache courtesy of his interface. The implant had been trying to wake him for some time.

He rolled off the couch. Another day, another commute from his nondescript apartment to the center of the Galaxy, trying to do the one thing his mother said he never would: make a difference.

The walk-in wardrobe straightened his collar as he registered the time. Carl sprinted past the pre-programmed bowl of cereal to the garage door.

“Leo? Where are you, boy?”

Carl’s ride was usually parked in the garage on a mat of sweet-grass and clover. It was nowhere to be seen. And it’s not like he could overlook a car-sized dimension-hopping tortoise. (Continue Reading…)

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Escape Pod 919: Emotional Resonance

Escape Pod 919: Emotional Resonance is an Escape Pod original.

Cursing and warfare

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 34:17 — 41.8MB)

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Emotional Resonance

By V.M. Ayala

Arbor’s favorite part of a mission was always the first view of a planet. Even after seven hundred years of being a giant robot, it never got old. Green and blue clouds churned over purple seas, imposing storms that flashed red with threads of lightning. Beautiful.

And they were sent to clear it of all human life. Courtesy of ExoPLENTI, Inc.! Ugh, that slogan clung to their digital psyche no matter how hard they tried to scrub it from their databases.

At least this part, floating in orbit, wasn’t so bad. (Continue Reading…)

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