Conditions of Use

According to The Way Things Are Done™, this page is supposed to be reserved for legalese that no human can read. We don’t care. Our position on communication is “Speak clearly or don’t bother,” and as for legal protection — we’re so small time that if you sued us you’d probably end up with less than you started with. So what’s the point of confusing people?

Here are our conditions of use. We’ll do our best to be pleasant about it, but when it comes down to it, donating to us or even browsing our site indicates that you agree to these conditions:

Creative Commons Licensing

Pretty much all the content on this site is copyrighted by Escape Artists, Inc., or by the individual authors whose work we’re publishing. The sound files are published by us under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives license, the full text of which can be found here:

What this means, in short, is that it is legal to share any or all of these sound files in their entirety, but illegal for third parties to profit from them, or modify them in any way to create derivative works. If you want to sample one for your next electronic dance music opus, you have to drop us a line so we can get permission from the author — which will probably be easy, so by all means drop us a line; but it is not implicitly granted, and is in fact illegal unless a separate arrangement is made.

We Can’t Make This Stuff Up

Escape Artists, Inc., and its staff is never (unless individually credited as such) responsible for authoring any of the stories we publish, and will not take responsibility for views that seem to be expressed by authors in their stories. Because first of all, if you ever think you know what view an author is expressing, you should be careful, because authors can be very tricky like that sometimes. Hosts, musicians, and other contributors to the audio are responsible for their own contributions, which are copyrighted by their individual creators and licensed under the same Creative Commons license as the rest of the sound file. Participants in our public forum are entirely to blame for everything they say there, and Escape Artists, Inc., can take no responsibility for anything they may say. All other text appearing on these websites, not including story excerpts, but certainly including magnificent literature such as the document you are now reading, is copyrighted to Escape Artists, Inc.

There may be adult language and concepts in many of the stories and other content. You agree to cope with that. If something offends you, we hope you’ll let us know why it offends you before you call the lawyers or the press or the fire department. We don’t promise to change anything, but we might, and if we can take reasonable steps to make you happy we will. Except Pseudopod — they don’t care about anything.

Escape Artists, Inc., will not take responsibility for the content of our sponsors, their web sites, or their products. If we worked for them, they probably wouldn’t be paying us to promote their stuff. In fact, we don’t take responsibility for anything on any sites we link to. To belabor the obvious: that’s not our stuff.

If You Post It, It Is Public

Our discussion forum exists for the purpose of public discussion. If you post words there, you implicitly assert that those words were written by you, or excerpted within the dictates of Fair Use law in the USA. You also agree that it’s okay (although in no way guaranteed) that whatever you posted will remain there indefinitely to be viewed by anyone in the entire world, and argued against and/or ridiculed by other posters, and maybe even by our staff. Welcome to the internet.

You Came for the Stories, Right?

Our principal purpose here is making available audio that you can download for free. We will not make you download it. If you decide you want to download it, we will make a best-effort attempt to have hale and hearty servers ready to fling delicious audio your way at all hours of the night and day. But, you agree that if they should happen to fail to serve you the file you expected in its entirety, you will not freak out or accuse us of plotting against you. Like restaurant servers, our file servers are very sensitive beneath their impersonal, obedient veneers, and may take a disliking to you. We have little control over this despite our considerable efforts to keep them firmly in line.


You may be killed by robots at any time. We have no control over this, either.


We also have a separate page for our privacy policy. That’s part of this agreement too.

Life is Inconstant

Like the universe, this site is a perpetual work in progress, and all the content on it may change from time to time. That includes these conditions. This policy stuff probably won’t change often, because we’re lazy and we’d rather get it right the first time, but if it does, you agree not to flip out.

And if you have a problem, you agree that you’ll let us know via e-mail,, so that we can try to set things straight with you.

Sound good to you? Thanks for your cooperation, and enjoy!