
Genres: Humor, Magical Realism, Space
Escape Pod 1000: A Thousand Names for God and Infinite Mustard
A Thousand Names for God and Infinite Mustard
by Matt Wallace
Kimo found God hiding out inside a dark nebula in the MACS0416_Y1 galaxy. He trapped God in an empty mason jar and duct taped the lid shut.
God was not happy about any of it. “I wasn’t ‘hiding out.’”
“What?” Kimo asked.
“In the nebula,” God said. “I wasn’t hiding.”
“I didn’t say you were hiding.”
“The asshole writing this story did, and I don’t appreciate the miscategorization.”
“What in the hell are you babbling about now?”
“Never mind, it doesn’t matter,” God grumbled, then added as a bitter-sounding afterthought, “Omniscience sucks.”