Archive for Flash

Escape Pod Flash: Standards

Show Notes

Rated G. Contains proven impossibilities.

Statement from Rachel Swirsky:
Richard K. Lyon died on November 21. When I contacted him last month to ask if he still wanted this piece to run on our podcast, he said that the doctors didn’t give him long, but that he hoped this would give the world “one last laugh.”

Escape Artists dedicates this production to his memory. We wish the best to him, and to his family.


By Richard K. Lyon

After careful examination of your manuscript no 113785, Corbamite, An Insulator Against Gravity, the editors of Review of Physics have concluded that it is not suitable for publication in this journal. This decision is final and further correspondence on this subject will serve no useful purpose.

Since the above may seem somewhat harsh, let me say what I can to mitigate it. The editors do appreciate that you are working under difficult circumstances: when the senior author of a paper is deceased, it is always hard for the junior author to complete the work in an appropriate manner. Also let us assure you that we do believe you. You have told us that with his dying breath Professor Steinhardt handed you his notebook and said, “Have this published in Review of Physics.” Such an action would be completely in character for Steinhardt since he was a true scientist.

As for your claim that Professor Steinhardt made this statement as he was expiring from disintegrator rays wounds suffered during your escape from the City of Disembodied Brains on Altair IV, our believing that is a somewhat different matter but we need to go into that.

Escape Pod Flash Fiction Contest, Honorable Mention: Silence

by Rachel Swirsky.
Read by Ann Leckie.  

Whatever the midwife told you, it’s not true.

I cannot walk through walls. I cannot conjure a chicken and make it dance or start a fire with my fingers. I cannot shape familiars from fog or examine entrails to see if a man will die. I cannot resurrect your son.

Rated PG.

Escape Pod Flash Fiction Contest, Honorable Mention: Hello, I Love You

By Katherine Sparrow.
Read by Rachel Swirsky.
All stories by Katherine Sparrow
All stories read by Rachel Swirsky

“Junk DNA? I’ll junk your DNA!” Sofia glared at Zorg.

“Apologies. It is only, don’t you find it interesting? Most of it is unused–“

“Junk? You supercilious aliens come to Earth to rein snottiness on us lowly humans? How sublime. I suppose your DNA is full of Porsches?”

Rated PG.

Escape Pod Flash Fiction Contest, Honorable Mention: The Way Before

By Anna Schwind
Read by Ann Leckie

When Chasca turned eleven, her father took her to a ship farm, to choose her vessel.  She stood on the observation deck, evaluating the herd.  Chasca selected the farthest ship.  It faced away from the others and bumped the edges of the corral.  She understood. 

Rated  G.

Escape Pod Flash Fiction Contest, Honorable Mention: Hoarding Colored Rags

by Jared Axelrod (of The Voice of Free Planet X).
Read by Mike Swirsky.

I remember your touch, your taste, the way your mouth curled slightly when you said my name.

Rated PG

Escape Pod Flash Fiction Contest, Honorable Mention: From Liquid to Glass

By J. R. Blackwell.
Read by Rachel Swirsky (of PodCastle).

He smelled like new cars and cologne, he moved with a measured rhythm. His mouth tasted like mint toothpaste. She looked over his shoulder through the white light of the window. She was sweating into her sheets, her breath silent, and her lips thin and tight.

Rated R. Contains sex and melancholia.

Escape Pod Flash Fiction Contest, Third Place: Karakuri

By Gideon Fostick.
Read by Dave Leckie.

Bill had no heart for this Karakuri, left behind in the empty house when his love had gone. Small and exquisite, propped at an angle on the tatami floor mat, it was the toughest puzzle he’d known. 

Rated PG. Contains puzzles.

Escape Pod Flash Fiction Contest, Second Place: Skyscrapers

by Rachel Swirsky
read by Ann Leckie

Summers, I sleep on rooftops. Under smokestacks, beside stairs, in the sudden green of precarious gardens.

Rated PG. Contains mythical figures.

Escape Pod Flash Fiction Contest Winner: Mission to Dover

by Gideon Fostick.
Read by Lyle Merithew. 

Escape Pod sends its congratulations to Gideon Fostick for winning first place in the Escape Pod flash fiction contest for stories under 300 words.

Professor Seiferd materialized in full command of his faculties. He oriented immediately on the white cliffs of Dover, towering over the English Channel. He felt the weight of his mission: he must answer the question that was vital to the Fatherland.

Rated G. Contains Nazis.

Escape Pod Flash: Nightshift in the Automart

Show Notes

Rated R. Contains partial nudity, some language, petty crime, and a few gods’ names taken in vain.

Nightshift in the Automart

By Andrew Gudgel

The doors whooshed open and the Goddess Kali strode up to the counter. She stopped in front of him, grinning wickedly. Straight platinum-blonde hair spilled down over her shoulders and high bare breasts, contrasting with her inky black skin. Jeremy noticed a necklace of tiny, perfectly-formed ceramic skulls hung around her neck.

“Hi, Jeremy.”

“‘Lo, Suzy.”

The Goddess Kali’s eyes flashed red with anger. “Don’t call me that!” Behind her, a whole pantheon wandered the aisles, looking for late-night snacks.

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