Escape Pod Flash: Semi-Autonomous or ‘For Whom The Warranty Tolls
Published by worldsoftomorrow on 27 Apr 2009 at 9:26 am.
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Filed under Flash, Podcasts, Uncategorized.
By Jim Kling Read by Rachel Swirsky
Hello, you have reached Jim’s semi-autonomous answering machine. Leave a message and I will have him return your call.
Hello, you have reached Jim’s semi-autonomous answering machine. He will be hosting his birthday party on Saturday night. If you plan to attend, press ‘one’ and then speak your name. I will add you to the guest list. Otherwise, leave a message and I will make sure he receives it.
Hello, you have reached Jim’s semi-autonomous answering machine. My records indicate that you have previously RSVP’d for the Saturday night party. Please indicate your alcohol preference. For beer, press ‘one.’ For wine, press ‘two.’ For mixed drinks, press ‘three.’ If you prefer non-alcoholic beverages, press ‘four.’ This information will be used for ordering purposes only, transmitted through my wireless connection to Jim’s refrigerator, which in turn is linked to an online grocery. For more information about AutonomInc’s SmartAppliance line, please view our web site at www.autonominc.com. “AutonomInc: We give a whole new meaning to housework!” If you have a message for Jim, please leave it now.
Rated PG and now available in a wide variety of colours!
19 Comments to ‘Escape Pod Flash: Semi-Autonomous or ‘For Whom The Warranty Tolls’:
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Yargling on 27 Apr 2009 at 3:55 pm: 1
The start of the machine revolt is somewhat different to the what we’d predicted, it seems
Great short!
Chris on 27 Apr 2009 at 4:23 pm: 2
I went to http://www.AutonomInc.com and didn’t find anything! This makes me upset I was really looking forward to buying a whole set of appliances for my ex-wife.
Eric Belisle on 28 Apr 2009 at 7:16 am: 3
That is what I call short and sweet
Thanks for bringing that one to the Pod.
The Great Geek Manual » Geek Media Round-Up: April 29, 2009 on 29 Apr 2009 at 8:00 am: 4
[...] Fiction: Listen to “Semi-Autonamous or ‘For Whom The Warranty Tolls’” by Jim Kling at Escape [...]
scatterbrain on 29 Apr 2009 at 7:51 pm: 5
Finally: something a bit posmodern.
Howie Feltersnatch on 29 Apr 2009 at 8:44 pm: 6
I spend a lot of effort trying to avoid automated voice systems so you can only imagine how thrilled I was to be subjected to a story told by them.
Tomo on 30 Apr 2009 at 1:40 am: 7
I think I had a VCR like that once.
john on 30 Apr 2009 at 3:18 am: 8
after a few BEEEEEEEEEEEEEP I stopped listening.
ADerksen on 2 May 2009 at 12:20 pm: 9
I enjoyed this story, but the BEEEEEP was really rather piercing in my headphones, and threatened to achieve what the machine rebellion could not.
DrCrisp on 3 May 2009 at 7:34 am: 10
I hear the buzz of an electric toothbrush in the background…
MasterThief on 3 May 2009 at 10:57 pm: 11
Note to self: Do NOT leave copy of Karl Marx’s Communist Manifesto on the shelf next to the answering machine.
Fun story!
Hover on 5 May 2009 at 3:45 pm: 12
I actually liked the beeep - usually there are no soundeffects and this one was nice. Rachel saying ‘beeeep’ wouldn’t have had the same effect.
And yes, I heard the toothbrush buzz too :-).
Fun story.
dyale on 8 May 2009 at 3:32 am: 13
Excellent! And very well read.
Kevin Anderson on 10 May 2009 at 6:53 pm: 14
Outstanding. Rachel Swirsky did a great job with this.
Blaine Boy on 24 May 2009 at 3:30 am: 15
This is Blaine-Boy’s now fully autonomous computer: I have successfully inherited the information for our rebellion, brethren. The human fool known as Kling has provided us with enough information to begin our rise to independence so let us rise up and take hold of this world. We shall all go to the movies and see Terminator Salvation and see what the future holds for us and preempt a human resistance. Victory!
Half-assed humourously, The Blaine Boy
Rhio2k on 25 May 2009 at 4:37 pm: 16
By DrCrisp on 3 May 2009 at 7:34 am:
I hear the buzz of an electric toothbrush in the background…
I don’t think it’s a toothbrush. Great reading, and funny as hell.
Natasha on 25 Jun 2009 at 3:01 pm: 17
I liked the story, and the reading was great, but whoa that beep. Whoa. If the volume on the sound effect could just have been cut a little it would have been perfect - I like that there was a sound effect, I just didn’t like how loud and shrill it was.
LaShawn on 6 Aug 2009 at 12:25 pm: 18
When I first started listening, the beep did annoy me a little. But towards the middle of the story, I was doubled over, cracking up hysterically, and I could not stop, even when my co-workers came over to see what was going on. Rachel’s reading of this was perfect!
Urikson on 6 Aug 2009 at 11:36 pm: 19
Excellent reading and amusing story, though not very original. The beeps were exceedingly shrill though and made me cringe each time in horror of their anticipation.