EP098: Just Do It

By Heather Lindsley.
Read by The Word Whore (of Air Out My Shorts).
First appeared in The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction, July 2006.

“What do you see?” he asks.

I want to say a menace, but instead I tap the delivery barrel and give the context-appropriate answer. “Unused ad space.”

Suddenly he’s a schoolmaster who has finally found a bright pupil in a classroom full of dunces.

“Exactly, Ms. Monroe. Exactly. No square millimeter wasted, that’s what I say.” He leans across the table and whispers conspiratorially, “We’re looking at co-branding an AOL-Time-Warner-Starbucks Lattepaloosa Crave with a Forever Fitness session discount.”

Rated R. Contains sexual innuendo, advertising warfare, and better living through chemistry.