EP032: Alien Animal Encounters

By John Scalzi.
Read by Stephen Eley, Anna Eley, Scott Janssens, Deborah Green, Jonathon Sullivan and Marilyn Fuller.

Ted McPeak, Community College Student, Jersey City:

Some friends and me heard that if you smoked the skin of an aret, you could get monumentally wasted. So we bought one at a pet store and waited a couple of weeks until it shed its skin. Then we crumbled up the dry skin, put it in with some pot, and lit up. We all got these insane mouth blisters that didn’t go away for weeks. We all had to eat soup for a month. Though maybe it wasn’t the skin; the pot could have been bad or something.

Rated R. Contains profanity, explicit imagery, and hot alien action.

Referenced sites:
Reading is Fundamental
Lies and Little Deaths
Child’s Play
Today in Alternate History

Comments (8)

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  1. John says:

    Fuckin’ Texas? Fuckin’ A! Hoo-yeah!

    So glad Scalzi sent you this! Old Man’s War was great and a sequel is worth paying for. Excellent clarification and discussion of donations to charity, Steve. Well done.

    I’m wondering how long you can keep making each new episode the best ever. Can this go on? Bravo.

  2. “Fuckin’ Texas” will now be my favorite saying whenever something about my home state mystifies me…

  3. Having heard some of Sullydog’s ER stories, I forgot for a moment that he didn’t actually write the section about the fungdu.

  4. Mark Forman says:

    Good story-what’s with more of the “Terra”ble NY accents? Right on for survey/charity link-good moves both “pre and post” complaint.

  5. Tom says:

    I heard a couple of episodes and had to download the entire archive. I’ve loved every program, but on this show you comitted one of my pet peeves. “Read by myself.”

    I have stolen this explaination from “A Way With Words” from KPBS:


    How did the misuse of the word myself come to be? Everyone now says, “Jane, Robert, and myself are going to the movies” and “They awarded trophies to Jane, Robert, and myself.” Do people use the word myself because they don’t know whether or not to use the word I or me?

    We congratulate you on your penetrating analysis of the epidemic that we have dubbed the Myself Reflex. The most succinct statement that explains why so many speakers and writers misuse, abuse, and overuse the pronoun myself was cobbled by Red Smith, the graceful New York sportswriter: “Myself is the foxhole of ignorance where cowards take refuge because they were taught that me is vulgar and I is egotistical.”

    In other words, speakers and writers are often addlepated or chickenhearted about choosing the proper cases for their pronouns: the nominative case ‚Äì I — for subjects and the accusative case ‚Äì me — for objects. The only three contexts in which myself should ever appear are:

    (1) as a reflexive pronoun used as an object of a verb whose subject is the same: “I hurt myself climbing the walls of my home.”

    (2) as an intensifier: “I myself wouldn’t be caught dead bungee jumping.”

    (3) in special idioms: “I removed the popcorn from the ceiling all by myself.”

  6. BrandtPileggi says:

    wow. you guys are too cute. Although it’s been said, I don’t think it can be emphasized enough.

    Fuckin’ Texas

  7. scatterbrain says:

    Funny vignette collection.

    I’m definately know now I’m going to enjoy Old Man’s War.

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