EP008: Lachrymose and the Golden Egg

By Tim Pratt
Read by Stephen Eley.
All stories by Tim Pratt.
All stories read by Stephen Eley.

“Foul temptress?” I said, stepping back, clanking in my armor. A suit of plate mail often appears when I’m startled. I wished the armor away and replaced it with soft green leggings and a deerskin shirt. “Wily seductress?”

“Damsel in distress.” She leaned against a tree, hands clasped before her.

I clutched my stick and looked around. “Immediate distress, or general distress?” I worried about ogres, or killbots. They often menace damsels, and when the wind’s wrong, you can’t smell them coming, neither rotten meat nor engine oil. It’s hard to hurt an ogre or a killbot with a staff, but I’m useless with a sword. I used a blade on my first few outings, but after chopping off my feet six times, I switched to a stick.

Rated PG. Contains slight profanity, drug use, and violence against were-ape ninjas.

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Comments (6)

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  1. JesseWillis says:

    They should have poached the egg. Poached golden eggs taste better and are less fattening.

  2. Nate Friedman says:

    He never woke up from his the vision. His last hit was a bad batch and a lot of real world bled in.

  3. senorrojo caliente! says:

    this is one great story

  4. Tiffany Hine Melbourne Australia says:

    Wow! what a great story. I reckon it was a potato and they both moved into the black castle that popped up down the street.
    Really enjoying the stories, I only just started listening coz Scott Sigler recommended Escape Pod

  5. scatterbrain says:

    A great multi-layered reality story.

  6. Curtis Morrow says: