EP015: Hell Notes

Show Notes

Rated PG. Contains graphic food-based sensuality and soulless marketing.


Hell Notes

By M.K. Hobson

They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, so I suppose it’s no wonder that the twice-cooked pork the beautiful chef placed in that depressing buffet line kicked me in the mouth like a South American soccer superstar with bad aim. There was never twice-cooked pork like the twice-cooked pork I tasted that snowy day at the Cheerful Panda.

EP014: Tis the Season

Show Notes

Rated R. Contains strong religious themes, graphic violence, and aggressive Zen.


Tis the Season

By K.D. Wentworth

It was Christmas Eve and that nasty, strung-out feeling of anticipation clotted the air like a cheap deodorizer. I hate Christmas the most–all that insincere, pious yap about “peace on
earth, goodwill towards men.” I was cruising down the expressway, on my way back from dismantling an illegal manger scene someone had erected at the river park, keeping an eye out
for graffiti, you know–“Where will _you_ spend eternity?” or “Buddha lives!”–that kind of crap, spray-painted on underpasses right where impressionable schoolchildren could see it. The last rays of the setting sun were painting the highway a faint rose when I spotted a broken-down van with the metal outline of a stylized fish just above the back bumper. The short hairs crawled up the back of my neck. Them fish guys have been some of my worst busts.

Administrivia


This seems to be the week for annoying problems:

  1. One of our listeners has reported to us (thanks, Paul!) that EP013 isn’t showing up in the iTunes podcast directory right now. This baffles me, because it worked when I tested it last week. No idea what the problem is, but I’m trying to kick some things to see what works. In fact this post is one attempt at kicking, to try to refresh the feed. Hopefully this is a brief glitch; please bear with us, and if you see problems like this in the future, please drop us an e-mail and let us know. Thanks.
  2. If you’ve tried to visit the TSFPN Forums in the last few days, you’ve probably noticed they’re down. Those guys are apparently having hosting difficulties, and it’s taking them some time to straighten it out. Although we’re not involved in their problems, I’d like to apologize to all Escape Pod listeners who’ve tried to access our forum and couldn’t. If their downtime extends beyond a few days, I’ll set up discussion forums here instead, because people seemed to be Having Fun with them. Thanks for your patience.
  3. Oh, and while this isn’t exactly a technical problem, there won’t be any flash this week. My wife’s been ill, and there’s been other stuff going on. We’re still on track for an Escape Pod release on Thursday, which is our primary commitment. It’ll be a fun one!

EP013: The Once and Future Dentist

Show Notes

Rated PG. Contains violence, alcohol, and gratuitous time travel.


The Once and Future Dentist

By D. Richard Pearce

“‘He was the most skillful gambler, and the nerviest, fastest, deadliest man with a six-gun I ever saw.’ Do you know who said that, Doctor?”

He coughed politely and sat in a nearby chair. “Begging your pardon, ma’am, I’d be more interested in who they were talking about.”

She laughed softly, and seemed to turn her attention to him fully for the first time. “Wyatt Earp said those words about you, Doctor. At your funeral, I suspect, though I don’t know for sure.”

EP Flash: Friday Night Gods


Friday Night Gods

By Josh Rountree

Brodie approached the line of scrimmage and both sides of the field erupted. The red-robed fans in the visitor’s stands surged like a crimson wave, swaying in unison as they began the  Rite of Interception. They stamped their feet against the aluminum bleachers, chanting as they drew gleaming blades across the bellies of countless doomed rattlesnakes. Their blood spilled, the snakes were then hurled onto the field. The rain of reptiles sounded like bacon burning in a skillet as the animals protested their own sacrifice.

EP012: Clean Up Your Room!

Show Notes

Rated G. Contains intense maternal nagging and disturbing chorework. May not be suitable for some adults.


Clean Up Your Room!

By Laura Anne Gilman

“Jessy, put that away and come eat breakfast. You won’t get anything useful done on an empty stomach.” The voice was the usual gender-neutral computer-generated drone, and yet it sounded different to her this morning. Obviously, the tone modifiers Gregory had suggested were working, too. That was going to be a selling point for everyone yelping about the dehumanization of home life. In a few generations, they’d be able to personalize the voice, maybe even to customer order.

EP011: Herd Mentality

Show Notes

Rated G. Suitable for world-dominating clone armies of all ages.


Herd Mentality

By Jay Caselberg

Einstein was getting old now. All of them. Not so old that he was past it, but you had to wonder. When our troops liberated the Spemann Lab complex in 1945, the Einsteins had been just five years old. The Government had done the humanitarian thing and brought them back home. Eventually, someone had leaked the information and slowly, slowly, public pressure and outrage had grown. The big hush-hush operation our government had mounted was shut down and the Einsteins were released – or rather, they were integrated into society in a humanitarian manner. That was the wording the government press releases used. Two hundred and fifty is a lot of Einsteins.