EP005: Snow Day


By Jennifer Pelland.
Read by Deborah Green.
All stories by Jennifer Pelland.
All stories read by Deborah Green.

“Innovate, Max. Burrow your way out. I don’t care.”

“A tunnel of snow would be unsafe for you to travel through, as it could collapse at any time.”

“Max–“

“Would you like to have sex?”

Damn him. He vibrates.

Rated R. Contains profanity, robotic sexual content, and offensive weather.


Download this week’s Escape Pod.

EP Flash: Oasis


By Greg van Eekhout.
Read by Stephen Eley.

You turn a lever that pops open the cover of the control pad. There’s a big red button labeled OPEN AIRLOCK. You jab it. Then you jab the CONFIRM button. Then you push the handle thing, and it’s all over.


Download the Escape Pod Flash.

Note: This piece marks the debut of Escape Pod’s flash fiction — very short stories that will be released between our weekly issues on an irregular basis. We chose “Oasis” as our first because, well, it’s about an escape pod. One can even imagine our logo image as the illustration for this story.

Book Review Line


As we just mentioned in this week’s podcast, Escape Pod is launching a new voicemail number for call-in book reviews. If you’d like to be heard on our show, please call:

206-666-EPOD (3763)

and leave a one-minute review of any book. You can rave, you can rant, you can say whatever you want. You don’t have to leave your own name if you don’t want to, but of please do give the title and author of the book.

Each week we’ll pick a review and play it in the closing segment of the Escape Pod podcast. As for the rest… Depending on how many we get, we’ll surely do something with them. We’re eco-friendly here, we try to find a use for everything.

EP004: In His Footsteps


By Paul E. Martens.
Read by Stephen Eley.
All stories by Paul E. Martens.
All stories read by Stephen Eley.

The dinner was not what you could call an unqualified success. The best that could be said for it was that we survived. And Uncle Dennis couldn’t even say that much.

That was my fault, too, I guess. I pissed God off, and all of your major religions will tell you that that’s something you want to try and
avoid. But I still think of Him as ‘Dad,” and when was the last time you just meekly did what
your father told you to do? Okay, sure, your father isn’t God, but mine wasn’t always God, either.

Rated PG. Contains sexual innuendo and lighthearted heresy.

Logo!


If you’re looking at our [main page](http://escapepod.org) right now, you can see **Escape Pod** has a new logo. If you’re looking at the RSS feed instead, click back over, it’ll be worth the couple seconds.

This terrific rendering is the work of my good friend [Doug Triggs](http://www.douglastriggs.com), geek outdoorsman and 3D artist extraordinaire. Check out his Web site for some other fine work, and help me convince him that he really ought to be selling this stuff.

And if anyone here has a driving need for a promotional image to help spread the word, hey, don’t let me stop you:

Geek Fu Action Grip


I just caught up with the last six episodes of [Geek Fu Action Grip](http://www.geekfuactiongrip.com) today. I’d heard Mur Lafferty’s essays on [The Dragon Page](http://www.dragonpage.com) for a while, but I’ve been sadly remiss in tracking back to her own (http://essentialmath.com/geekfu/wp-rss2.php).

She’s smart. She’s got a great voice. She understands the virtues of *Babylon 5*. She can rant about babies and gaming in the same sentence. She’s a SF/F writer. And she’s *sarcastic*.

I have a new geek crush.

EP003: Three Wish Habit


By Janni Lee Simner.
Read by Jonathon Sullivan.
All stories by Janni Lee Simner
All stories read by Jonathon Sullivan.

The man opens his hand, the one that’s been in his pocket all this time. A shiny brass bottle lies there, small in his large palm. A band of flowery, unreadable lettering is etched just beneath the narrow neck. Otherwise the surface is flawless: no dents, no scratches, no dirt.

My hands tremble; my heart pounds so loud I have trouble thinking. That’s the real thing he’s holding, no doubt about it. He might still be a cop. But I flip into park, and roll the window down.

Rated PG. Contains some profanity, vehicular violence, and poor judgment.

The Serenity Spoiler Review


(Clarification: No, this isn’t a real spoiler review. It’s a joke, okay?)

**Escape Pod #3** will be up later tonight. It’ll probably be uploaded at the same time some of you will be in one of twenty theaters around the country, watching the unfinished preview screener of [Serenity](http://www.serenitymovie.com/).

(*Note:* an earlier version of this same rant appeared on the [Slice of SciFi](http://www.sliceofscifi.com) podcast earlier this month. If you’ve heard it twice… C’mon, it was funny both times, right?)

EP002: Feng Burger


By John Aegard
Read by Stephen Eley.
All stories by John Aegard.
All stories read by Stephen Eley.

The Chinese are particular about their designs, and for good reason. A design with good feng shui — one that satisfies the universe’s sense of metaphor — attracts chi, the energy that raises mountains and pushes rivers and draws good fortune near and keeps tax collectors far away. Whether by accident or design, no one can say, but the Burger Pods have potent feng shui. Where normal men would see nothing but gleaming stainless-steel cabinets and a charbroiling grill, a feng shui practitioner would see arms and hands, cradling the Burger Pod’s occupant and bathing her in chi.

Rated PG. Contains sexual innuendo, mild profanity, and food service employees slacking off.

The Seanachai


[A great podcast I just discovered this morning.](http://goodwordsrightorder.com) A seanachai was an Irish bard or storyteller, and Patrick McLean has nailed the art of packing an entertaining story into a five minute (give or take) podcast. His voice is excellent, his sound production is clean and diverse, and above all, his stories are *fun.* The one about [the man who stole a semi truck full of nickels](http://goodwordsrightorder.com/index.php?blog=2&title=episode_6_a_very_slow_getaway&more=1&c=1&tb=1&pb=1) was all it took to get me hooked.