http://escapepod.org The Science Fiction Podcast Magazine. Each week Escape Pod delivers science fiction short stories from today's best authors. Listen today, and hear the new sound of science fiction! Thu, 09 Feb 2012 22:05:07 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=5309 2005-2011 http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/3.0 editor@escapepod.org (Mur Lafferty) editor@escapepod.org (Mur Lafferty) science fiction 1440 science fiction, sf, stories, audiobooks, storytelling, fiction, short fiction, short story The Science Fiction Podcast Magazine The Science Fiction Podcast Magazine. Each week Escape Pod delivers science fiction short stories from todayapos;s best authors. Listen today, and hear the new sound of science fiction! Mur Lafferty Mur Lafferty editor@escapepod.org No no http://escapepod.org/wp-content/images/pod-org-icon300.jpg http://escapepod.org 144 144 http://escapepod.org/2012/01/26/ep329-pairs/ http://escapepod.org/2012/01/26/ep329-pairs/#comments Thu, 26 Jan 2012 22:55:13 +0000 Mur Lafferty http://escapepod.org/?p=3075 http://escapepod.org/2012/01/26/ep329-pairs/feed/ 0 00:01:01 By Zachary Jernigan Read by Matt Franklin of Fly Reckless Discuss on our forums. Originally appeared in Asimov's, April 2011 All stories by Zachary Jernigan All stories read by ... By Zachary Jernigan Read by Matt Franklin of Fly Reckless Discuss on our forums. Originally appeared in Asimov's, April 2011 All stories by Zachary Jernigan All stories read by Matt Franklin Rated 17-and-up for violence, language, and sexual imagery. Pairs by Zachary Jernigan I had been practicing turning myself into a knife. Between star systems I gathered and focused my particles into a triangle, a sharp shape. Hurling myself against the diamond-hard walls of my small ship, the point of the weapon hardened. I honed myself. You see, I had decided to murder my employer. I had studied his weaknesses and come to believe myself capable of the act. I did not know when and where, nor did I know what would trigger it. I simply knew it had to happen. On that day I would either die or buy myself a measure of freedom. Originally, this was the extent of my plan: To serve myself. My name is Arihant. I am one of two humans still inhabiting a physical form, diminished though it is. Outside the walls of my ship, I am in form a faintly translucent white specter, strong and powerfully builtmdash;an artistrsquo;s anatomical model. Over the years it has become difficult to remember what my face looked like, and thus my features are only approximately human, my head bare. My eyes glow the color of Earthrsquo;s sun. I am quite beautiful, Louca tells me. On more than one occasion she has run her hands over the ghostly contours of my body. ldquo;I wish you were solid,rdquo; she once said. ldquo;Oh, Ari. The things I would do to you.rdquo; Louca is the one I am forced to follow and observe. Her name means crazymdash;an appropriate name. She is the second human possessing a body. Technically, her body is a black, whale-shaped ship one hundred meters long, but her avatars take the forms of anything she imagines. Very rarely, she is human, and never the same person twice. More often, she wears the bodies of flying animals. She dreams of flying, which is appropriate. Our profession is transport. For three centuries we have hauled the disembodied souls of Earthmdash;each stored in a projection cubemdash;from star to star to be sold. They are quite expensive, I am told, but I have no understanding of the means of exchange. Nearly everything is hidden from me, and Louca sees nothing. The reason souls are bought varies. Often they are kept as curios. Sometimes they are used to attract customers to the buyerrsquo;s business. My employer used to goad me on these points: ldquo;Is it not wonderful to know your people are put to such good use? Imagine how happy it must make them!rdquo; But I know the truth. Even without physical bodies, men become lonely. They despair and I feel it. Surely Louca feels it; she goes crazier and crazier in such close proximity to ghosts. Before the events of this story, only the luckiest souls were bought in pairs or groups, a rare occurrence. Now, because of Louca and I, it is the rule that souls must be sold in pairs. It is my one accomplishment, making men marginally less alone. Still, I arrange nothingmdash;I have no power over the situation. I follow Louca from a distance of one hundred thousand kilometers, never any closer, and report anything unusual. I need not watch very closely. Loucarsquo;s duty is to dream violent dreams, to defend and deliver her payload. Hopefully, her capacity for violence will never be tested. She is categorically insanemdash;a fact that, my employer insists, makes her uniquely suited to the job of protector. Employer. Job. The terms are ridiculous, for Louca and I are not paid. Our terms of service are not negotiable. I am no onersquo;s employee, but I prefer not to use the word slave. Or master. I cling to life. I value it, though what value it has is measured in a mere handful of molecule... 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Zachary Jernigan no No http://escapepod.org/2011/09/08/ep309-the-insurance-agent/ http://escapepod.org/2011/09/08/ep309-the-insurance-agent/#comments Fri, 09 Sep 2011 00:51:11 +0000 Mur Lafferty http://escapepod.org/?p=2648 http://escapepod.org/2011/09/08/ep309-the-insurance-agent/feed/ 0 00:01:01 By Lavie Tidhar Read by Christian Brady Discuss on our forums. First appeared in Interzone, 2010 All stories by Lavie Tidhar All stories read by Christian Brady Rated inappropriate for seventeen ... By Lavie Tidhar Read by Christian Brady Discuss on our forums. First appeared in Interzone, 2010 All stories by Lavie Tidhar All stories read by Christian Brady Rated inappropriate for seventeen and younger due to language and violence. The Insurance Agent By Lavie Tidhar The bar was packed and everyone was watching the Nixon-Reagan match. The fighters were reflected off the barrsquo;s grainy wood countertop and the tablesrsquo; gleaming surfaces and seemed to melt as they flickered down the legs of the scattered chairs. The bar was called the Godhead, which had a lot to do with why I was there. It was a bit of an unfair fight as Reagan was young, pre-presidency, circa-World War Two, while Nixon was heavy-set, older: people were exchanging odds and betting with the barrsquo;s internal gaming system and the general opinion seemed to be that though Reagan was in better shape Nixon was meaner. I wasnrsquo;t there for the match. The Godhead was on Pulau Sepanggar, one of the satellite islands off Borneo, hence nominally under Malaysian federal authority but in practice in a free zone that had stronger ties to the Brunei Sultanate. It was a convenient place to meet, providing easy access to the Philippines, Malaysia, Indonesia and, of course, Singapore, which resented the islandrsquo;s role as a growing business centre yet found it useful at the same time. She wore a smart business suit and a smart communication system that looked like what it was, which was a custom-made gold bracelet on her left arm. She wore smart shades and I was taking a bet that she wasnrsquo;t watching the fight. She was drinking a generic Cola but there was nothing generic about her. I slid into a chair beside her and waited for her shades to turn transparent and notice me. lsquo;Drink, Mr. Turner?rsquo; I liked the name Turner. It was Anglo-Saxon generic, a mid-level executiversquo;s name, white as beige. lsquo;Call me James,rsquo; I said. I liked James too. You could tell what a James Turner did just by hearing his name. The rest of me was tailor-made for the name, had been for some time: I had the kind of tan that suggested I had been East for just long enough to have acquired it, black hair that was short but not too short and had a decent but not overly-expensive cut, pale blue eyes behind shades that cost a lot of money to look like a knock-off. There was a suggestion of a smile in the corners of her mouth and she said, lsquo;I donrsquo;t think I will.rsquo; lsquo;Mr. Turner, then,rsquo; I said. lsquo;One namersquo;s good as another.rsquo; lsquo;Quite,rsquo; she said. There was something dismissive in that single word. For the likes of you, was what it implied. lsquo;Thanks,rsquo; I said. lsquo;I think Irsquo;ll have that drink.rsquo; lsquo;Preference?rsquo; she said. I said lsquo;Orange juice,rsquo; wanted vodka. She didnrsquo;t say anything, didnrsquo;t have to. A moment later a waiter glided over and deposited the drink on the table, moisture condensing on the outer surface of the manifold that was the glass. I took a sip, put it down again into the ring of water that had immediately formed. Below, Nixon knocked out Reagan in the second round. I heard groans and shouts around me, tried to tune them out. lsquo;What can I do for you?rsquo; I said. I couldnrsquo;t quite tell where she was from. She had pale skin carefully kept out of the sun, an Oxford-acquired accent and eyes I couldnrsquo;t see. She said, lsquo;I would like to buy insurance.rsquo; lsquo;That,rsquo; I said, possibly a little stiffly, lsquo;is why wersquo;re here.rsquo; lsquo;Quite,rsquo; she said again, and I felt I won the round ndash; she did not like to waste her words and by answering me she had already thrown out six. lsquo;Is this personal insurance or ndash;?rsquo; I said and she said, a little too quickly, lsquo;Personal.rsquo; lsquo;Whorsquo;s the IE?rsquo; I said. She frowned for a moment and I could a... 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Lavie Tidhar no No http://escapepod.org/2011/09/01/ep308-kill-me/ http://escapepod.org/2011/09/01/ep308-kill-me/#comments Thu, 01 Sep 2011 15:40:22 +0000 Mur Lafferty http://escapepod.org/?p=2640 http://escapepod.org/2011/09/01/ep308-kill-me/feed/ 0 00:01:01 By Vylar Kaftan Read by Mur Lafferty Discuss on our forums. First appeared in Helix, 2007 All stories by Vylar Kaftan All stories read by Mur Lafferty Rated inappropriate for seventeen ... By Vylar Kaftan Read by Mur Lafferty Discuss on our forums. First appeared in Helix, 2007 All stories by Vylar Kaftan All stories read by Mur Lafferty Rated inappropriate for seventeen and younger due to language and violence. [Note- we do not have the ebook rights, but you can read it at Transcriptase!] Kill Me by Vylar Kaftan I'm sitting cross-legged on a rock in west Texas, somewhere north of El Paso, bleeding into the dirt. The pose feels like a meditation. I'm fascinated with the knife mark on my left thigh, a shallow slash from hip to knee. It's surrounded by bruise clusters that look like flowers of broken skin. In the silent desert, I hear only the soft clicking of the car cooling down. Then his urine splashes against the rock behind me, and I hear his zipper when he's done. The night breeze is icy on my back, drying the blood into clots. He did me well, I admit, glancing up at the full desert moon. If my body survived--which it wouldn't--I would be scarred, possibly disfigured. The welts on my back throb like electricity, and everything--the moon, the desert, the wind--is alive with me. He walks in front of me. I look up at the man who brought me all the way from Denver. He looks like a black dog, matted and angry, and growls like one too. My eyes travel to the cluster of thick hair springing from his shirt neck. He folds his arms over his chest. "The night's almost over," I remind him. He scowls. "Get in the trunk." I hesitate--he paid me to do the shy-girl act, a popular one--and he grabs my arm. He hauls me over the rear bumper into the trunk of his '33 Axis. He slaps me once across the face--not as hard as I expected--and crumples me into the tight compartment. He slams the trunk closed, catching my hair in the door. I try to pull free, but it's no use. I don't think he meant that part, but he doesn't seem to notice the long trail of hair hanging out of the trunk. The car door opens and the ignition starts. I tug on my hair once more and then relax, concentrating on where I hurt, where my body throbs with pain. As many times as I've done this, I still try to experience it all. Because it's not every day you experience death. Only every three months. 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2011/08/04/ep304-union-dues-%e2%80%93-sidekicks-in-stockholm/ http://escapepod.org/2011/08/04/ep304-union-dues-%e2%80%93-sidekicks-in-stockholm/#comments Thu, 04 Aug 2011 20:59:38 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=2539 http://escapepod.org/2011/08/04/ep304-union-dues-%e2%80%93-sidekicks-in-stockholm/feed/ 0 44:00 By Jeffrey R. DeRego Read by Stephen Eley Special guest host: Stephen Eley An Escape Pod original! Discuss on our forums. All stories by Jeffrey R. DeRego All stories read by ... By Jeffrey R. DeRego Read by Stephen Eley Special guest host: Stephen Eley An Escape Pod original! Discuss on our forums. All stories by Jeffrey R. DeRego All stories read by Stephen Eley Rated appropriate for older teens and up for language and disturbing imagery. Union Dues: Sidekicks in Stockholm by Jeffrey R. DeRego Five of them at least, with submachine guns, body armor, and more dynamite than I've seen outside a Tom and Jerry cartoon. They all sound the same thanks to some digital vocal thing built into their black suits. They all look the same with black ski masks underneath a mesh sort of fencing helmet, black everything else right to the boots, and all about the same size, like someone took a picture of a terrorist and photocopied it. This whole drama seems like it began a million years ago by now. I was scheduled to come here and open a convention of business leaders and up-and-coming corporate types. My speech, Good Corporate Citizenship, with examples of how The Union gives back to the communities it serves, is a two year old piece worked up and updated by Marketing and Promotions to accommodate a new administration in Washington, and some new economic stuff that I don't really understand. I'd delivered only half of the text before these guys burst through the door. I froze at the first gunshot, not for long, just a few seconds, just long enough to be useless. The girl who sits beside me ndash; her name tag reads "Hello my name is Stacy" ndash; leans in close. She whispers, "What are you going to do, Adam?" I try and ignore her and watch the men. My wrist feels weirdly cool and light without the communicator gauntlet and beacon strapped around it. I glance down at my gloves and the tatters of honeycombed teflon-spandex straps where the gauntlet was stitched on. You're Adam Smasher! Goddamn it. Do something! I've only been in the orange suit and cape for three years. I had the physique and the right chin at the right time and until about and hour ago thought the role fit pretty well. My predecessor died of a heart attack in the New York Pyramid training room two days after his thirtieth birthday, the original Adam Smasher sits connected to a mechanical heart pump in The Village somewhere in Antarctica. He's the Adam Smasher everyone remembers from Saturday-morning TV, blonde and chiseled, his orange one piece suit and mask almost glowing, his tritium atom insignia a mark of galactic strength as he caught speeding, robber-filled cars, fought off robots and gangsters and the evil machinations of Dr. Destruction. Don't get me wrong, when people talk to me, they talk to Adam Smasher, but sometimes I want to scream out, "I used to watch 'The Adventures of Adam Smasher' on TV too, in syndication!" I should be thankful anyone remembers the show at all. Atom Comics' teen and adult readers have moved on to darker, grittier titles by competing publishers and, well, look at me? I'm like a smiling Day-Glo orange tree. The kid demographic wants the crazy soap opera stuff like Team Shikaragaki not a creaky old walking ethics lesson. So, The Union pulls Adam Smasher comics. My figure goes into the much less produced "classics" line. No playsets. No video game adaptations. No TV. Meanwhile, I wait for Marketing and Promotions to generate interest in Adam Smasher. Maybe I come back darker, or kiddier, or something completely different. Until then, my whole life is giving lectures about doing the right thing and leveraging the audience's nostalgia for a true-blue ndash; well, orange ndash; Union Superhero. "Adam, how are you going to get us out of this?" Stacy is maybe twenty five. Blue eyed, petite ndash; but then, everyone looks sort of petite to me as I'm just scraping seven-foot-three tall and thirty nine inches across the shoulders ndash; every time she looks at the terrorists her eyes widen with fear, and every time she looks at me they widen more, with hope. I try not to look at he... 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Jeffrey R. DeRego yes No http://escapepod.org/2011/06/23/ep298-the-things/ http://escapepod.org/2011/06/23/ep298-the-things/#comments Fri, 24 Jun 2011 02:21:46 +0000 Mur Lafferty http://escapepod.org/?p=2367 http://escapepod.org/2011/06/23/ep298-the-things/feed/ 0 56:11 By Peter Watts Read by: Kate Baker (Thanks to Kate and Clarkesworld for the audio!) Originally appearing in Clarkesworld Discuss on our forums. All stories by Peter Watts All stories ... By Peter Watts Read by: Kate Baker (Thanks to Kate and Clarkesworld for the audio!) Originally appearing in Clarkesworld Discuss on our forums. All stories by Peter Watts All stories read by Kate Baker Nominated for the Hugo Award for Short Story, 2011 Rated appropriate for older teens and up for language and disturbing imagery. The Things By Peter Watts I am being Blair. I escape out the back as the world comes in through the front. I am being Copper. I am rising from the dead. I am being Childs. I am guarding the main entrance. The names don't matter. They are placeholders, nothing more; all biomass is interchangeable. What matters is that these are all that is left of me. The world has burned everything else. I see myself through the window, loping through the storm, wearing Blair. nbsp;MacReady has told me to burn Blair if he comes back alone, but MacReady still thinks I am one of him. I am not: I am being Blair, and I am at the door. I am being Childs, and I let myself in. I take brief communion, tendrils writhing forth from my faces, intertwining: I am BlairChilds, exchanging news of the world. The world has found me out. It has discovered my burrow beneath the tool shed, the half-finished lifeboat cannibalized from the viscera of dead helicopters. The world is busy destroying my means of escape. Then it will come back for me. There is only one option left. I disintegrate. Being Blair, I go to share the plan with Copper and to feed on the rotting biomass once called Clarke ; so many changes in so short a time have dangerously depleted my reserves. Being Childs, I have already consumed what was left of Fuchs and am replenished for the next phase. nbsp;I sling the flamethrower onto my back and head outside, into the long Antarctic night. I will go into the storm, and never come back. # I was so much more, before the crash. I was an explorer, an ambassador, a missionary. I spread across the cosmos, met countless worlds, took communion: the fit reshaped the unfit and the whole universe bootstrapped upwards in joyful, infinitesimal increments. I was a soldier, at war with entropy itself. I was the very hand by which Creation perfects itself. So much wisdom I had. So much experience. Now I cannot remember all the things I knew. I can only remember that I once knew them. I remember the crash, though. It killed most of this offshoot outright, but a little crawled from the wreckage: a few trillion cells, a soul too weak to keep them in check. Mutinous biomass sloughed off despite my most desperate attempts to hold myself together: panic-stricken little clots of meat, instinctively growing whatever limbs they could remember and fleeing across the burning ice. By the time I'd regained control of what was left the fires had died and the cold was closing back in. I barely managed to grow enough antifreeze to keep my cells from bursting before the ice took me. I remember my reawakening, too: dull stirrings of sensation in real time, the first embers of cognition, the slow blooming warmth of awareness as body and soul embraced after their long sleep. I remember the biped offshoots surrounding me, the strange chittering sounds they made, the odd uniformity of their body plans. How ill-adapted they looked! How inefficient their morphology! Even disabled, I could see so many things to fix. So I reached out. I took communion. I tasted the flesh of the worldmdash; mdash;and the world attacked me. It attacked me. I left that place in ruins. It was on the other side of the mountainsmdash;the Norwegian camp , it is called heremdash;and I could never have crossed that distance in a biped skin. Fortunately there was another shape to choose from, smaller than the biped but better adapted to the local climate. I hid within it while the rest of me fought off the attack. I fled into the night on four legs, and let the rising flames cover my escape. I did not stop running until I... 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Peter Watts no No http://escapepod.org/2011/05/26/ep294-the-night-train/ http://escapepod.org/2011/05/26/ep294-the-night-train/#comments Thu, 26 May 2011 22:00:38 +0000 Bill Peters http://escapepod.org/?p=2209 http://escapepod.org/2011/05/26/ep294-the-night-train/feed/ 1 00:01:01 By Lavie Tidhar Read by: Jean Hilde-Fulghum Originally appeared in Strange Horizons. Discuss on our forums. All stories by Lavie Tidhar All stories read by Jean Hilde-Fulghum Rated R The Night Train By ... By Lavie Tidhar Read by: Jean Hilde-Fulghum Originally appeared in Strange Horizons. Discuss on our forums. All stories by Lavie Tidhar All stories read by Jean Hilde-Fulghum Rated R The Night Train By Lavie Tidhar Her name wasn't Molly and she didn't wear shades, reflective or otherwise. She was watching the length of the platform. Hua Lamphong at dusk: a warm wind blowing through the open platforms where the giant beasts puffed smoke and steam into the humid air, the roof of the train station arching high overhead. Her name wasn't Noi, either, in case you asked, though it's a common enough name. It wasn't Porn, or Ping. It wasn't even Friday. She was watching the platform, scanning passengers climbing aboard, porters shifting wares, uniformed police patrolling at leisure. She was there to watch out for the Old Man. She wasn't even a girl. Not exactly. And as for why the Old Man was called the Old Mannbsp;.nbsp;.nbsp;. He was otherwise known as Boss Gui: head andnbsp;bigfala bos of the Kunming Toads. She got the job when she'd killed Gui's Toad bodyguardsmdash;by default, as it were. But that had happened back in Kunming. This was Bangkok, Bangkok at duskmdash;this was Hua Lamphong, greatest of train stations, where the great slugs breathed steam and were rubbed and scrubbed by the slug-boys whose job it was to nurture them before departure. And the Old Man wasn't exactly an old man, either. Scanning, waiting for the Old Man to arrive: Yankee tourists with in-built cams flashing as they posed besides the great beasts, these neo-nagas of reconstituted DNA, primitive nervous system, and prodigious appetite. Scanning: a group of Martian-Chinese from Tong Yun City walking cautiouslymdash;unused to the heavier gravity of this home/planet. Scanning: three Malay businessmenmdash;Earth-Belt Corp. standardized reinforced skeletonsmdash;they moved gracefully, like dancersmdash;wired through and through, hooked up twenty-four Earth-hours an Earth-day, seven Earth-days a week to the money-form engines, the great pulsating web of commerce and data, that singing, Sol-system-wide, von Neumann-machine expanded network of networks of networks.nbsp;.nbsp;.nbsp;. Wired with hidden weaponry, too: she made a note of that. An assassin can take many shapes. It could be the sweet old lady carrying two perfectly balanced baskets of woven bamboo over her shoulders, each basket filled with sweet addictive fried Vietnamese bananas. It could be the dapper K-pop starlet with her entourage, ostensibly here to rough it a bit for the hovering cameras. It could be the couple of French backpackersmdash;he with long thinning silver hair and a cigarette between his lips, she with a new face courtesy of Soi Cowboy's front-and-back street cosmetic surgeriesmdash;baby-doll face, but the hands never lie and the hands showed her true age, in the lines etched there, the drying of the skin, the quick-bitten nails polished a cheap redmdash; An assassin could be anyone. A Yankee rich kid on a retro-trip across Asia, readingnbsp;Air America ornbsp;Neuromancer in a genuine reproduction 1984 POD-paperback; it could be the courteous policeman helping a pretty young Lao girl with her luggage; it could be the girl herselfmdash;an Issan farmer's daughter exported to Bangkok in a century-long tradition, body augmented with vibratory vaginal inserts, perfect audio/visual-to-export, always-on record, a carefully tended Louis Wu habit and an as-carefully-tended retirement planmdash;make enough money, get back home to Issannbsp;wan bigfala mama, open up a bar/hotel/bookshop and spend your days on the Mekong, waxing lyrical about the good old days, listening to Thai pop and K-pop and Nuevo Kwasa-Kwasa, growing misty-eyed nostalgic.nbsp;.nbsp;.nbsp;. Could be anyone. She waited for the Old Man to arrive. The trains in Hua Lamphong never left on time. Her name before, or after, doesn't matter. They used to call her Mulan Rouge, whi... 17,and,Up Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2011/04/28/ep290-tom-the-universe/ http://escapepod.org/2011/04/28/ep290-tom-the-universe/#comments Thu, 28 Apr 2011 20:50:52 +0000 Mur Lafferty http://escapepod.org/?p=2135 http://escapepod.org/2011/04/28/ep290-tom-the-universe/feed/ 0 34:17 By Larry Hodges Read by: Mat Weller An Escape Pod original! Discuss on our forums. All stories by Larry Hodges All stories read by Mat Weller Rated PG-13: sexual situations Tom the ... By Larry Hodges Read by: Mat Weller An Escape Pod original! Discuss on our forums. All stories by Larry Hodges All stories read by Mat Weller Rated PG-13: sexual situations Tom the Universe by Larry Hodges I permeate this universe, which I've named Tom, and guard against its destruction. If someone had done that for the universe I came from, then Mary, my sweet Mary, would still be alive, and I wouldn't have killed her and everyone else when I accidentally destroyed that universe. And now I'm on the verge of destroying much more. Read More... My name is also Tom. I was an undergrad in neuroscience at Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore that January in 2040 when I made the discovery that doomed us all. My field of study was cognitive science, the study of human consciousness. What makes us aware of ourselves? Is it just the biomechanical workings of the brain, or something else? Sherlock Holmes said, "When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." I spent countless hours in the lab eliminating the impossible, and there didn't seem to be anything left, improbable or not. The interconnectivity required for human consciousness to exist was just too many levels beyond what was possible. By all rights, we should all be unconscious blobs of matter mechanically going about our business as directed by electronic impulses from the brain, with no more consciousness than a calculator. I suffered brain cramps in the lab trying to figure out what improbables were left. When I could think of nothing else to try, it was time to relax and let my subconscious figure it out. So I got out the Frisbee and called my lab partners. Mary, Joey, and I--Tommy, as they called me--called ourselves the "ees." I'd only met Mary when we'd started college, and adored how she laughed when I explained my love for her in neurological terms, with dopamine and neurotransmitters. We did everything together, or so I thought; classes and labs, movies, and late-night bull sessions with pizza and ice cream, usually followed by pints of morning coffee. Our future together was assured; as soon as we graduated, we would get married. I'd even convinced her we should wear purity rings--I had special ones made up with a brain emblem. Joey and I grew up together on the same street, playing stickball and videogames. He and I were going to be buddies for life. Professor Wilson, our adviser, reluctantly let the three of us be lab partners even though he said it's best not to put friends together. Amazingly, we got a lot done when we weren't reading the neurology cartoons taped to the walls or playing with Catzilla, the lab's iguana-bodied, cat-brained hybrid mascot. And then came that morning when we went outside the lab on Charles Street to toss the Frisbee around among the oak trees by the front steps. The fresh air was an escape from the antiseptic stench of the lab. "You throw like a girl!" Joey said when my toss to him banged against the ground, way off line. He stood half a head taller than me, with that eternal mischievous grin I'd known for twenty years. He was the only person in the world who could get away with a ponytailed bouffant, which I would yank every chance. "Like a girl, huh?" Mary said, throwing the Frisbee as hard as she could at Joey, who barely blocked it. Mary grabbed the rebound and faked another throw while Joey cringed. "Want some more?" She was my sweet pixie, five feet of tiger and spice, never still, never silent. Recently she'd taken to tying her long blond hair in a ponytail like Joey, giving me a second target to yank. I was the smart one, with a crew cut. "Okay," Joey said, "you win. You both throw like girls!" Mary smacked him with the frisbee again. As we tossed it around, I became aware of my awareness of the Frisbee's location at any given moment. Somehow my mind tracked this and so many other thi 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Larry Hodges no No http://escapepod.org/2011/04/14/ep288-future-perfect/ http://escapepod.org/2011/04/14/ep288-future-perfect/#comments Fri, 15 Apr 2011 01:16:53 +0000 Mur Lafferty http://escapepod.org/?p=2078 http://escapepod.org/2011/04/14/ep288-future-perfect/feed/ 0 28:16 By LaShawn M. Wanak Read by: Dani Cutler Originally published in Ideomancer Discuss on our forums. All stories by LaShawn M. Wanak All stories read by Dani Cutler Rated R: language, ... By LaShawn M. Wanak Read by: Dani Cutler Originally published in Ideomancer Discuss on our forums. All stories by LaShawn M. Wanak All stories read by Dani Cutler Rated R: language, adult situations Future Perfect By LaShawn M. Wanak I saw you at a party once. You stood by the bookshelf, reading a tattered volume on Proust. You wore an orange and yellow XTC shirt beneath brown flannel. I bumped your elbow by accident and you looked up, your eyes startling green. I smiled and said, "Hi. I'm Nina." "Hi. Eric." I trailed behind you for the rest of the party. You introduced me to your friends and I laughed at their jokes. Twice, our sleeves brushed against each other. Around two in the morning, you left with your friends. An hour later, I also left. I crossed the empty campus, humming under my breath, wondering if I'd ever see you again. The watch on my arm beeped. * "This experiment will measure how small changes occurring before a certain event affect its outcome positively and negatively." The chair is her creation. She bought the frame on impulse at a medical supply shop. The conical helmet, perforated with slender tubes, fits on top. Whenever she maneuvers her head beneath it, she thinks of the hair dryers at her mother's beauty salon. All those bulky astronaut bonnets lined in perfect rows, vibrating air molecules to a feverish pitch. She likes this scientific homage to her mother extracting time from thin air. "Recording of the control event complete. Setting a change in a condition set slightly in the past. The goal of this first jump is to see if this will change the outcome of the event to a more positive circumstance." She types on the laptop built into the armrest, then glances at the elaborate flowchart tacked upon the far wall of the laboratory. Written in her own hand, neat and precise, equations and sums branch and connect like a roadmap of a probability highway. She wonders which formula will have his lips pressing against hers. "Test #1. Begin." Read More... * I saw you at a party once. You stood next to Muriel, hair rumpled, clothes wrinkled. I had my hair permed that morning so it hung straight over my eyes. I wore tight-fitting jeans and a blue top with spaghetti straps. I didn't speak to you, just hung out with a couple of my girlfriends. When "Atomic Dog" came on the stereo, I shimmied to the bookcase, shaking my hips and wiggling my butt. Only then I noticed you, you and your startling green eyes. You smiled and said, "Hi, there." Muriel looked over and pulled you from the room. Later, while getting punch, I looked out the window and saw you and Muriel standing on the sidewalk below. She cupped your face, pulling it down to meet hers. I thought, Shame. He had nice eyes. Then someone stepped on my foot and I swore, loudly. As the guy next to me apologized, the watch on my arm beeped. You went on to have three children with Muriel. It took several years until I said yes to Brenton. * She rises from the chair, pulling the sensors from her body. She takes a sip of lukewarm coffee and frowns at the chart on the wall. The outcome remained the same, but that was to be expected. With so many variables, it will take time to narrow down the finite set of outcomes, both positive and negative. She isn't worried; after all, only two possible outcomes can come from this event. She picks up a black magic marker and crosses off a number with an 'X'. * We came to the party together, your arm slung around my shoulders. You and I had met several weeks before. Within a week, we were dating. Within six weeks, we were an 'item'. Muriel was there as well, dancing alone by the bookshelves. Though my hand was buried in your back pocket, you couldn't tear your eyes from her. I distracted you by pulling you over to introduce my friends. You nodded, laughed at someone's joke and glanced towards the corner. Brenton asked if the punchbowl ne 17,and,Up,,Podcasts LaShawn M. Wanak no No http://escapepod.org/2011/02/24/ep281/ http://escapepod.org/2011/02/24/ep281/#comments Thu, 24 Feb 2011 17:59:25 +0000 Mur Lafferty http://escapepod.org/?p=1893 http://escapepod.org/2011/02/24/ep281/feed/ 0 00:01:01 By Alex Dally MacFarlane Read by: Pamela Quevillon Originally published in DayBreak Magazine Discuss on our forums. All stories by Alex Dally MacFarlane All stories read by Pamela Quevillion Rated R: ... By Alex Dally MacFarlane Read by: Pamela Quevillon Originally published in DayBreak Magazine Discuss on our forums. All stories by Alex Dally MacFarlane All stories read by Pamela Quevillion Rated R: This story contains erotic imagery and sex. Show Notes: Feedback for Episode 273 Next week... You go to a coffee shop. The Notebook of my Favourite Skin-Trees By Alex Dally MacFarlane BANANA The best part of these are the fruits, growing on their fat stem, dangling down the personrsquo;s back or from their arm. I always bow and smile, asking, ldquo;Can I taste one of your fruits? Bananas from a skin-tree are so sweet.rdquo; So sweet and so small, a single mouthful. I also enjoy the place where banana tree meets flesh, roots curving over and into the personrsquo;s limb -- pressing my lips there, my tongue -- and the small shade cast by the leaves. Read More # Kim Cuc saw advertisements everywhere she looked in the walking street market, but only on the leaves of the skin-trees: names of shops and cafeacute;s and restaurants spelled out, Thai or English or other languages, in the bright white veins. Aside from the occasional cry from stall owners or vendors -- ldquo;I have the finest grilled bananas in Chiang Mai! Come and taste!rdquo; -- no other form of promotion cluttered the senses. That had always been the intent of the skin-treesrsquo; engineers and earliest supporters. Kim Cuc smiled often, seeing the remains of once-garishly lit billboards, or walls that several years earlier would have been covered in paper. No smiles on this night. She stopped every person with a skin-tree in the walking street market, to ask if theyrsquo;d noticed strange discolourations on their leaves. ldquo;There is a sickness,rdquo; she said, putting urgency into the phrase she now knew in many languages, not just her native Vietnamese and second tongue English, ldquo;and itrsquo;s important to collect samples and data.rdquo; Into one of the notebooks carried under her arm, she noted the age and ethnicity of the person, the age and species of their tree, the company its leaves advertised -- this for those whose trees remained healthy. In a second notebook, with frowning lizards on the spine, she noted the same information for those whose trees were not. There she added information about the duration of the discolourations, their colour and spread. Samples went into a third notebook, with little clips to fasten two pages together, and special paper to protect and preserve the leaves. The lizard-spined notebook was not as full as the first, yet. Late in the night, when vendors began packing away their wares, Kim Cuc followed the shoppers returning to their homes. She drank from the large bottle of nutrient-full water she always carried around. The durian tree growing on her left shoulder needed it. She passed a stall selling Buddha-shaped lanterns, a popular tourist item. Some still glowed, yellowly and redly, and in their light she glanced at her durian. A brown circle, no greater in circumference than a joss stick, lay on the edge of one leaf. ldquo;No!rdquo; she cried out. The bright screen of her wrist-computer did not contradict the Buddha lights. # BANYAN The banyanrsquo;s thick roots suggest a secret fluidity, like wax, uncommon to plants: frozen over Pitsamairsquo;s shoulder, beginning where bone used to jut from her thin flesh, sliding down her shoulder blades, curling around her upper arm (carefully trained not to restrict movement), stretching across her collarbone and down her breastbone, down the neat lines of her ribs. They frame her right breast. I always think they will flow when Pitsamai is alone, even though she tells me this isnrsquo;t the case. The thick leaves advertise Chiang Mai University. Veins curl in the letters in Thai and English, artificially white against dark green. Pitsamai loves her university. The tangled trunks rise from her shoulder, a... 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Alex Dally MacFarlane no No http://escapepod.org/2011/01/06/ep274-angry-roses-lament/ http://escapepod.org/2011/01/06/ep274-angry-roses-lament/#comments Fri, 07 Jan 2011 03:25:43 +0000 Mur Lafferty http://escapepod.org/?p=1711 http://escapepod.org/2011/01/06/ep274-angry-roses-lament/feed/ 0 00:01:01 By: Cat Rambo Read by: Mur Lafferty First appeared in Abyss #38; Apex (read the text here!) Discuss on our forums. All stories by Cat Rambo All stories read by ... By: Cat Rambo Read by: Mur Lafferty First appeared in Abyss #38; Apex (read the text here!) Discuss on our forums. All stories by Cat Rambo All stories read by Mur Lafferty Rated R: for strong language and addiction discussion. Show Notes: Feedback for Episode 266: Kachikachi Yama ldquo;Not one of the Big Three? Thought CocaCorp would want a piece of that.rdquo; Rutter had wondered that himself. By all accounts, Solin was a plum piece of real estate, the kind one of the big companies like General M or Bushink would snatch up as an asset. Across the galaxies, theyrsquo;d grabbed small systems every chance they got. Solin did have a native intelligent race tp be wooed, but there was a surplus of impoverished races deep in debt to the Companies. Very few, the ones who knew to hire themselves savvy (and expensive) legal counsel, managed to keep themselves free. There was, Rutter figured, something out of the ordinary about Solin. Not out of the ordinary in a valuable way, but something tricky, something slippery or scandalous, some taint the Big Three wanted to avoid. Hersquo;d find out soon enough, he guessed. 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2010/11/11/ep-265-kachikachi-yama/ http://escapepod.org/2010/11/11/ep-265-kachikachi-yama/#comments Thu, 11 Nov 2010 21:26:08 +0000 Mur Lafferty http://escapepod.org/?p=1465 http://escapepod.org/2010/11/11/ep-265-kachikachi-yama/feed/ 2 36:55 By: Michael R. Underwood Read by: Lauren Harris of Pendragon Variety Literary Magazine Podcast Discuss on our forums. All stories by Michael R. Underwood All stories read by Lauren ... By: Michael R. Underwood Read by: Lauren Harris of Pendragon Variety Literary Magazine Podcast Discuss on our forums. All stories by Michael R. Underwood All stories read by Lauren Harris Rated R: For sexual situations and violence Show Notes: Feedback for Episode 258: Raising Jenny. Next week... We leave earth for a new planet! Kachikachi Yama By Michael R. Underwood The howl of the northbound train builds in crescendo as I stand on the ledge of the platform and hold the man above the tracks.nbsp; He flails at me. The Shikoku station is far from empty.nbsp; Groaning bodies dot the otherwise hospital-clean platform. A group of fleshmodded Gothic Lolita girls watch us.nbsp; They look on with inhumanly white faces and void-black eyes.nbsp; Twig-thin arms down to their knees wave in the wind. He begs. My _denkigamirsquo;s_ polite but insistent voice chirps in my head.nbsp; _ldquo;Yamagata-sama orders the target to be eliminated.rdquo;_ Spirit of the fleshware machine in my brain, my _denkigami_ is a constant companion, and keeper of my leash. The roar of the train grows louder, and bells ring in the station.nbsp; The man pleads for his life.nbsp; The trainrsquo;s lights appear from around the around the corner. Keep reading... *nbsp;nbsp;nbsp; *nbsp;nbsp;nbsp; * My daimyorsquo;s summons comes at 3:27 in the morning.nbsp; My _denkigami_ wakes me, and within minutes I crawl through the servantrsquo;s entrance to his office, dressed and ready in simple white silk kimono, my hair in a topknot. The walls of his office are covered in the finest works from a millenniumrsquo;s worth of painters.nbsp; Basho, Caravaggio, Monet, Kiefer. Yamagata Kenichiro has never met my gaze.nbsp; My father served him and his father, and I will know no other master until I retire as a nun or die in his service. Samurai.nbsp; From _Samuru_--ldquo;to serve.rdquo; Yamagata-sama grunts. ldquo;My honor has been violated.rdquo;nbsp; He pushes a digital tablet across his desk.nbsp; The tablet shows a 360-degree image of a fleshmod-tanned hacker in his twenties, data-port centered in a swirling tattoo on the back of his neck. Yamagata stands and places a hand on the desk. ldquo;This criminal has brought shame upon my wife and upon my house.rdquo; ldquo;What is your desire, lord?rdquo; Yamagata-samarsquo;s eyes narrow.nbsp; ldquo;First, befriend him.nbsp; Then, humiliate him.rdquo; He has not ordered me to do this before. ldquo;Why not just kill him, lord?rdquo; Yamagata slams his fist on the table. ldquo;It is not enough.rdquo;nbsp; He walks around the table, leans over me and draws a finger down my face and across my chin.nbsp; ldquo;He must know ecstasy before he knows agony.rdquo;nbsp; I restrain the shudder. He has always treated me like a woman first, a serving maid who could kill instead of a worthy member of a noble line.nbsp; This is not a job for a samurai, but I do not have a choice.nbsp; I serve him to honor my familyrsquo;s name, prove that we were worthy of elevation to the samurai caste. I take the tablet with both hands as I bow.nbsp; I crawl back through the low gap in the synthetic rice-paper walls while the side door--the one for his peers--remains closed. *nbsp;nbsp;nbsp; *nbsp;nbsp;nbsp; * I pore over the files at the steel desk in my modest apartment in the servantrsquo;s wing.nbsp; A seven-mat front room large enough for a couch and exercise equipment, and a five-mat bedroom room connected to a compact bathroom. Synthetic _shoji_ walls give me no privacy, thin as rice-paper but made of plastic.nbsp; My red-lacquered family shrine stands centered on my dresser.nbsp; When I was a child, I slept in the front room, lsquo;myrsquo; walls covered in holoposters of the latest idols. The targetrsquo;s alias is ldquo;Tanukirdquo;--the raccoon-dog trickster of ancient folklore. A flash of memory--ancestral armor and bound b... 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Michael R. Underwood no No http://escapepod.org/2010/10/28/ep264-st-darwins-spirituals/ http://escapepod.org/2010/10/28/ep264-st-darwins-spirituals/#comments Thu, 28 Oct 2010 18:50:25 +0000 Mur Lafferty http://escapepod.org/?p=1336 http://escapepod.org/2010/10/28/ep264-st-darwins-spirituals/feed/ 0 39:40 By D.K. Thompson Read by: Mur Lafferty First appeared in Murky Depths Host: Norm Sherman Discuss on our forums. All stories by DK Thompson All stories read by Mur Lafferty Rated R: ... By D.K. Thompson Read by: Mur Lafferty First appeared in Murky Depths Host: Norm Sherman Discuss on our forums. All stories by DK Thompson All stories read by Mur Lafferty Rated R: For paranormal sexual situations Show Notes: Enjoy our Halloween episode, which mixes a bit of paranormal in with our science fiction. Hey, it's a special holiday, and we're apt to get a little crazy around here. If listeners want some lighter Halloween fun, "Horrorworld," DK's short story collaboration with Kevin David Anderson, is running as a two-part special at Drabblecast this Halloween. If people have ever had a desire to see Yul Brynner fight zombies, that's the story for them. Feedback for Episode 256: The Mermaids Singing Each to Each. Next week... A special election day episode! Saint Darwinrsquo;s Spirituals By D.K. Thompson The ghosts wanted a threesome ndash; the two of them in Lucyrsquo;s body. It wasnrsquo;t an unheard of proposition, or so Lucy had been told. Prostitutes considered psychic whoring one of the safest tricks on the streets. All the pleasures of intimacy without the messy clean-up. Ghosts had a nasty reputation for vanishing the moment after, though, no matter the talisman around your neck or the potion drunk before sunset, and so payments were usually collected up front. Not that Lucy was worried about the money. Her husband was the only thing that concerned her. She adjusted her brass and leather goggles, peering through the ethereal tinted lenses to examine the ghosts. They looked like the average apparitions. Both female. One spiraled around Lucy, long and curly hair obscuring her face. Large black blotches covered her body, causing her skin to peel off in patches. The other hovered several feet above the cobblestones in front of Lucy. She had a noose around her throat and her neck was bent so her head hung to the left side. She crossed her arms and took several breaths. Or whatever passed for breaths in the afterlife. How long had it been since theyrsquo;d felt someonersquo;s touch? Lucy wondered. She remembered something her husband had told her long ago, before the murders, before hersquo;d disappeared. ldquo;Spirits linger in this world longing to be a part of it, to reconnect, to have some kind of physical, sensual experience,rdquo; Thomas had said. ldquo;Only a host can provide them that.rdquo; Ghosts arenrsquo;t the only creatures haunted by the memory of a touch, my love, Lucy thought. And yet, despite being a devout spiritualist, she shuddered at the idea of the cadaverous spirits making love inside her. Shersquo;d never had a ghostgasm before, much less been paid for one. The ghosts looked sincere in their desire, not like dangerous murderers. Certainly not monsters. Still, lonely as she was, a ghostgasm wouldnrsquo;t help her find Thomas. Read more.... ldquo;I donrsquo;t think itrsquo;s a good idea, Rose,rdquo; said the ghost spinning around Lucy. The air trailing behind her churned like water in a boatrsquo;s wake. ldquo;Whatrsquo;s the matter, love?rdquo; Rose asked, winding the noosersquo;s end around her wrist. ldquo;She look a bit too practiced for your tastes, Ethel?rdquo; Lucy felt her cheeks flush. She pulled her shawl over her shoulders and took several small breaths, all her tight corset allowed. ldquo;To be honest, I donrsquo;t service the dead.rdquo; It sounded so insulting, but she couldnrsquo;t tell them the truth. Ethel came to a halt an armrsquo;s-length from Lucyrsquo;s face. ldquo;Irsquo;ve never heard of a whore who had much use for honesty.rdquo; ldquo;A whorersquo;s a whore,rdquo; said Rose. ldquo;We need a rental and our moneyrsquo;s honest, if nothing else is.rdquo; ldquo;Irsquo;m sorry,rdquo; Lucy said. ldquo;I meant no offense. But you should find someone else. Irsquo;m not quite ready for that kind ofhellip;spiritual experience.rdquo; ldquo;Well,rdquo; said Ethel. ldquo;Wersquo;ll just have to find a more e... 17,and,Up,,Featured,,Podcasts DK Thompson no No http://escapepod.org/2010/09/02/ep256-the-mermaids-singing-each-to-each/ http://escapepod.org/2010/09/02/ep256-the-mermaids-singing-each-to-each/#comments Thu, 02 Sep 2010 22:35:34 +0000 Mur Lafferty http://escapepod.org/?p=909 http://escapepod.org/2010/09/02/ep256-the-mermaids-singing-each-to-each/feed/ 0 56:02 By Cat Rambo Read by: Christiana Ellis of Nina Kimberly the Merciless and Space Casey First appeared in Clarkesworld Discuss on our forums. All stories by Cat Rambo All stories ... By Cat Rambo Read by: Christiana Ellis of Nina Kimberly the Merciless and Space Casey First appeared in Clarkesworld Discuss on our forums. All stories by Cat Rambo All stories read by Christiana Ellis "Laura," a speaker said, as though I hadn't been gone for six years, as though she'd seen me every day in between. "Laura, where is your uncle?" I used to imagine her disintegrated, torn apart into silent atoms. "It's not Laura anymore," I said. "It's Lolo. I'm gender neutral." "I don't understand," she said. "You've got a Net connection," I said. "Search around on "gender neutral" and "biomod operation." I wasn't sure if the pause that came after that was for dramatic effect or whether she really was having trouble understanding the search parameters. Then she said, "Ah, I see. When did you do that?" "Six years ago." "Where is your uncle?" "Dead," I said flatly. I hoped that machine intelligences could hurt and so I twisted the knife as far as I could. "Stabbed in a bar fight." Rated R for violence, language, and memory of sexual violence. And Spar feedback. Show Notes: Feedback for Episode 248, Spar Next weekhellip; Union Dues! 17,and,Up,,Featured,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2010/07/15/ep249-little-mtch-girl/ http://escapepod.org/2010/07/15/ep249-little-mtch-girl/#comments Fri, 16 Jul 2010 02:59:23 +0000 Mur Lafferty http://escapepod.org/?p=681 http://escapepod.org/2010/07/15/ep249-little-mtch-girl/feed/ 0 25:22 By Heather Shaw Read by Mur Lafferty Discuss on our forums. Originally published in: Tumbarumba All stories by Heather Shaw All stories read by Mur Lafferty It wasn't that Em disapproved ... By Heather Shaw Read by Mur Lafferty Discuss on our forums. Originally published in: Tumbarumba All stories by Heather Shaw All stories read by Mur Lafferty It wasn't that Em disapproved of drug use, you just had to be savvy about which drugs you took. Back before she had to get a day job, she was a M@tch girl, much to the delight of the guys on the club scene. M@tch wasn't a wimpy drug, but it didn't turn you into a murderous street zombie either. It was also expensive -- a designer "where it's @!" drug -- that the Tweakers couldn't afford anyway. Rated R for one sexual scene and drug use. Show Notes: We're back, we hope you liked our Hugo offering! Be sure to vote before July 31! Next weekhellip; Escape Pod ventures into the world of novellas. 17,and,Up,,Featured,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2010/06/10/ep244-non-zero-probabilities/ http://escapepod.org/2010/06/10/ep244-non-zero-probabilities/#comments Thu, 10 Jun 2010 05:01:33 +0000 Mur Lafferty http://escapepod.org/?p=640 http://escapepod.org/2010/06/10/ep244-non-zero-probabilities/feed/ 0 00:01:01 By N.K. Jemisin Originally recorded by Kate Baker for Clarkesworld Magazine, and is used here with their expressed permission. Discuss on our forums. Guest Host: Dave Thompson of ... By N.K. Jemisin Originally recorded by Kate Baker for Clarkesworld Magazine, and is used here with their expressed permission. Discuss on our forums. Guest Host: Dave Thompson of Podcastle All stories by N.K. Jemisin All stories read by Kate Baker Her neighbor mdash; the other one, across the hall mdash; helped her figure it out, long before the math geeks finished crunching their numbers. "Watch," he'd said, and laid a deck of cards facedown on her coffee table. (There was coffee in the cups, with a generous dollop of Bailey's. He was a nice-enough guy that Adele felt comfortable offering this.) He shuffled it with the blurring speed of an expert, cut the deck, shuffled again, then picked up the whole deck and spread it, still facedown. "Pick a card." Adele picked. The Joker. "Only two of those in the deck," he said, then shuffled and spread again. "Pick another." She did, and got the other Joker. "Coincidence," she said. (This had been months ago, when she was still skeptical.) Rated R: for Lucky Streaks and Getting Lucky. Show Notes: Enter the Escape Pod Flash Contest! It runs June 1- July 4, stories must be under 500 words. More information at the link. Editor's note: Thanks so much to Dave Thompson and Peter Wood for taking on this project of securing all five Hugo stories during the hiatus of Escape Pod. Most of the work was done before I joined, and this wouldn't have happened without them stepping up. Next weekhellip; Another Hugo-nominated story! 17,and,Up,,Featured,,Hugo,Awards,,Podcasts N.K. Jemisin no No http://escapepod.org/2010/02/28/ep239-a-programmatic-approach-to-perfect-happiness/ http://escapepod.org/2010/02/28/ep239-a-programmatic-approach-to-perfect-happiness/#comments Mon, 01 Mar 2010 04:57:22 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=585 http://escapepod.org/2010/02/28/ep239-a-programmatic-approach-to-perfect-happiness/feed/ 0 27:30 By Tim Pratt Read by: Stephen Eley Discuss on our forums. Originally published in: Futurismic, April 2009. All stories by Tim Pratt All stories read by Stephen Eley Opening poem: "Scientific ... By Tim Pratt Read by: Stephen Eley Discuss on our forums. Originally published in: Futurismic, April 2009. All stories by Tim Pratt All stories read by Stephen Eley Opening poem: "Scientific Romance" Audible.com Promotion! Get your free audiobook at: http://audible.com/escapepodsff My step-daughter Wynter, who is regrettably prejudiced against robots and those who love us, comes floating through the door in a metaphorical cloud of glitter instead of her customary figurative cloud of gloom. She enters the kitchen, rises up on the toes of her black spike-heeled boots, wraps her leather-braceleted arms around my neck, and places a kiss on my cheek, leaving behind a smear of black lipstick on my artificial skin and a whiff of white make-up in my artificial nose. ldquo;Hi Kirby,rdquo; she says, voice all bubbles and light, when normally she would never deign to utter my personal designation. ldquo;Is Moms around? Havenrsquo;t talked to her in a million.rdquo; I know right away that Wynter has been infected. Rated R. Contains mature sexual situations and adult themes. (And robot themes.) 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Tim Pratt no No http://escapepod.org/2010/02/07/ep237-roadside-rescue/ http://escapepod.org/2010/02/07/ep237-roadside-rescue/#comments Sun, 07 Feb 2010 20:40:43 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=580 http://escapepod.org/2010/02/07/ep237-roadside-rescue/feed/ 0 00:01:01 By Pat Cadigan. Read by Stephen Eley. First appeared in Omni, July 1985. ldquo;Thatrsquo;s a long time to wait.rdquo; The navigatorrsquo;s smile widened. He was very attractive, ... By Pat Cadigan. Read by Stephen Eley. First appeared in Omni, July 1985. ldquo;Thatrsquo;s a long time to wait.rdquo; The navigatorrsquo;s smile widened. He was very attractive, holo-star kind of handsome. People who work for aliens, Etan thought. ldquo;Perhaps yoursquo;d care to wait in my employerrsquo;s transport. For that matter, I can probably repair your vehicle, which will save you time and money. Roadside rescue fees are exorbitant.rdquo; ldquo;Thatrsquo;s very kind,rdquo; Etan said, ldquo;but I have called, and I donrsquo;t want to imposemdash;ldquo; ldquo;It was my employerrsquo;s idea to stop, sir. I agreed, of course. My employer is quite fond of people. In fact, my employer loves people. And Irsquo;m sure you would be rewarded in some way.rdquo; Rated R. Contains profanity and mature (if alien) themes. 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Pat Cadigan no No http://escapepod.org/2010/01/18/ep234-the-secret-protocols-of-the-elders-of-zion/ http://escapepod.org/2010/01/18/ep234-the-secret-protocols-of-the-elders-of-zion/#comments Mon, 18 Jan 2010 19:00:37 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=571 http://escapepod.org/2010/01/18/ep234-the-secret-protocols-of-the-elders-of-zion/feed/ 0 45:40 By Lavie Tidhar. Read by Stephen Eley. First appeared in The West Pier Gazette Other Stories, 2008. It was afternoon, after school has ended for the ... By Lavie Tidhar. Read by Stephen Eley. First appeared in The West Pier Gazette Other Stories, 2008. It was afternoon, after school has ended for the day. Sash has been working in the hydroponics gardens, helping the adults with the delicate work of picking the buds. It was flowering time, and the ganja plants were at the end of their cycle. It was then, with her hands sticky with resin and her skin tingling pleasantly from the work and the heat, with Mama Kingstonrsquo;s deep, melodious voice saying lsquo;a good harvest, child, a good harvestrsquo; with a throaty chuckle, when Sash felt about herself the presence of Jah in everything she did and was profoundly happy: it was then that Sash discovered, for the first time, the existence of the Secret. Rated R. Contains some violence and a plot heavily focused on drug use. If you're good with that, there's not much else likely to be problematic for younger audiences. 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Lavie Tidhar no No http://escapepod.org/2009/12/03/ep227-his-masters-voice/ http://escapepod.org/2009/12/03/ep227-his-masters-voice/#comments Thu, 03 Dec 2009 17:35:47 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=526 http://escapepod.org/2009/12/03/ep227-his-masters-voice/feed/ 0 43:21 By Hannu Rajaniemi. Read by Peter Piazza; courtesy of Starship Sofa. Guest introduction by Paul Graham Raven of Futurismic. First appeared in Interzone, October 2008. Before the concert, we ... By Hannu Rajaniemi. Read by Peter Piazza; courtesy of Starship Sofa. Guest introduction by Paul Graham Raven of Futurismic. First appeared in Interzone, October 2008. Before the concert, we steal the Master's head. The Necropolis is a dark forest of concrete mushrooms in the blue Antarctic night. We huddle inside the utility fog level attached to the steep southern wall of the ice valley. The cat washes itself with a pink tongue. It reeks of infinite confidence. "Get ready," I tell it. "We don't have all night." It gives me a moderately offended look, and dons its armor. Referenced Sites: PodDisc.com 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2009/11/26/ep226-pirate-solutions/ http://escapepod.org/2009/11/26/ep226-pirate-solutions/#comments Thu, 26 Nov 2009 16:18:27 +0000 JeremyT http://escapepod.org/?p=523 http://escapepod.org/2009/11/26/ep226-pirate-solutions/feed/ 0 42:00 by Katherine Sparrow. Narrated by Sarah Tolbert, Kate Baker, Nate Periat, and Steve Eley The story first appeared in Fast Ships, Black Sails edited by Ann and ... by Katherine Sparrow. Narrated by Sarah Tolbert, Kate Baker, Nate Periat, and Steve Eley The story first appeared in Fast Ships, Black Sails edited by Ann and Jeff VanderMeer. Discuss on our forums. All stories by Katherine Sparrow All stories read by Sarah Tolbert, Kate Baker, Nate Periat, and Steve Eley. You could feel their heat. Not a metaphor, I don't mean that, I mean literally the room grew warmer when they were in it. They were both so powerful. Whenever Anne and Jack (they weren't named that then, but that's who they were) strolled into the room you got contact highs from their lust. People who would never make out would find excuses to go to the bathroom together and come back with monster hickies. Everyone always wanted to sit near them because of their heat, and because they always said the thing you wish you'd said but only thought to say a billion blinks later. When I first joined the Freebooter tech collective Anne and Jack were happy to have another girl in the group, but otherwise they ignored me. I could stare and stare at them all day long, hiding behind my black-rimmed glasses. But then one day Anne looked at me, and then Jack looked too, and we all just sort of fell toward each other. Like gravity. Like magic. Like there was a God. Rated ARRRRR. 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Katherine Sparrow no No http://escapepod.org/2009/11/19/ep225-a-hard-rain-at-the-fortean-cafe/ http://escapepod.org/2009/11/19/ep225-a-hard-rain-at-the-fortean-cafe/#comments Thu, 19 Nov 2009 10:30:17 +0000 JeremyT http://escapepod.org/?p=516 http://escapepod.org/2009/11/19/ep225-a-hard-rain-at-the-fortean-cafe/feed/ 0 31:20 by Lavie Tidhar narrated by Sarah Tolbert This story originally appeared in Aeon #14. The diner stood off the highway outside a small town optimistically called Hope. Hope ... by Lavie Tidhar narrated by Sarah Tolbert This story originally appeared in Aeon #14. The diner stood off the highway outside a small town optimistically called Hope. Hope was being stuck in the middle of the Northwest and wishing you were someplace, anyplace else. And Hope was also the name on the tag pinned to the dead woman in waitress uniforms that was currently lying against the wall inside the _Barbie-Q Roadhouse_. I had to stop myself from worrying at the connection: looking for patterns when sometimes there are none at all. I wasn't worried about Hope (the waitress, not the town). I didn't get called down here for a murder: shit, murder is an honest-to-God American pastime. Just look at the statistics. No, I got called in because of the Marilyn. The Marilyn was also dead. All in all, there were five dead people in the Barbie-Q: two waitresses; a balding man who ndash; from his bag full of cheaply-printed catalogues ndash; was some sort of a general salesman; the diner's manageress; and Marilyn. They had been shot by a machine gun, probably an Uzi. Marilyn's head left a red smear against the glass of the booth she sat in. She was there alone. What the hell was a Marilyn doing out here? Rated R for violence and language. 17,and,Up,,Podcasts,,Uncategorized Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2009/10/29/ep222-infestation/ http://escapepod.org/2009/10/29/ep222-infestation/#comments Thu, 29 Oct 2009 10:30:37 +0000 JeremyT http://escapepod.org/?p=499 http://escapepod.org/2009/10/29/ep222-infestation/feed/ 0 45:26 by Garth Nix read by Geoff Michelli They were the usual motley collection of freelance vampire hunters. Two men, wearing combinations of jungle camouflage and leather. Two ... by Garth Nix read by Geoff Michelli They were the usual motley collection of freelance vampire hunters. Two men, wearing combinations of jungle camouflage and leather. Two women, one almost indistinguishable from the men though with a little more style in her leather armour accessories, and the other looking like she was about to assault the south face of a serious mountain. Only her mouth was visible, a small oval of flesh not covered by balaclava, mirror shades, climbing helmet and hood. They had the usual weapons: four or five short wooden stakes in belt loops; snap-holstered handguns of various calibers, all doubtless chambered with Wood-N-Deathreg; low-velocity timber-tipped rounds; big silver-edged bowie or other hunting knife, worn on the hip or strapped to a boot; and crystal vials of holy water hung like small grenades on pocket loops. Protection, likewise, tick the usual boxes. Leather neck and wrist guards; leather and woven-wire reinforced chaps and shoulder pauldrons over the camo; leather gloves with metal knuckle plates; Army or climbing helmets. Recently appeared in By Blood We Live. Rated R for violence and very different vampires. 17,and,Up,,Podcasts,,Uncategorized Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2009/10/08/ep219-sleepy-joe/ http://escapepod.org/2009/10/08/ep219-sleepy-joe/#comments Thu, 08 Oct 2009 10:30:59 +0000 JeremyT http://escapepod.org/?p=487 http://escapepod.org/2009/10/08/ep219-sleepy-joe/feed/ 0 36:44 by Marc Laidlaw narrated by Ben Phillips originally appeared in The Infinite Matrix The plan must have come to Rog fully formed that first morning, as he stepped ... by Marc Laidlaw narrated by Ben Phillips originally appeared in The Infinite Matrix The plan must have come to Rog fully formed that first morning, as he stepped off the elevator into the lobby of Szilliken Sharpenwright and saw the old soldier newly stationed there in his omnichair between the potted silk ferns and the coffee tables. "Oh. My. God. I am in love." Megan, her arms loaded with Rog-House props and paraphernalia she hadnrsquo;t had time to ditch yet, said, "You say that an awful lot for someone who styles himself completely asexual. Not to mention atheistic." Rated R for adult situations, a smattering of violence, and overly friendly chairs. 17,and,Up,,Podcasts,,Uncategorized Marc Laidlaw no No http://escapepod.org/2009/09/24/ep217-the-kindness-of-strangers/ http://escapepod.org/2009/09/24/ep217-the-kindness-of-strangers/#comments Thu, 24 Sep 2009 12:00:59 +0000 JeremyT http://escapepod.org/?p=479 http://escapepod.org/2009/09/24/ep217-the-kindness-of-strangers/feed/ 0 52:00 by Nancy Kress. narrated by Kate Baker. Discuss on our forums. All stories by Nancy Kress All stories read by Kate Baker. When morning finally dawns, Rochester isnrsquo;t there anymore. Jenny ... by Nancy Kress. narrated by Kate Baker. Discuss on our forums. All stories by Nancy Kress All stories read by Kate Baker. When morning finally dawns, Rochester isnrsquo;t there anymore. Jenny stands beside Eric, gazing south from the rising ground that yesterday was a fallow field. Maybe the whole city hasnrsquo;t vanished. Certainly the tall buildings are gone, Xerox Square and Lincoln Tower and the few others that just last night poked above the horizon, touched by the red fire of the setting September sun. But, unlike Denver or Tokyo or Seattle, Rochester, New York sits ndash; sat ndash; on flat ground and therersquo;s no point from which the whole city could be seen at once. And it was such a small city. ldquo;Maybe they only took downtown,rdquo; Jenny says to Eric, ldquo;and Penfield is still there or Gates or Brightonhellip;rdquo; Rated R for sexual situations and alien-caused genocide. 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2009/09/17/ep216-%ce%b2oyfriend/ http://escapepod.org/2009/09/17/ep216-%ce%b2oyfriend/#comments Thu, 17 Sep 2009 12:00:08 +0000 JeremyT http://escapepod.org/?p=474 http://escapepod.org/2009/09/17/ep216-%ce%b2oyfriend/feed/ 0 45:20 by Madeline Ashby read by Tina Connolly Violet snapped three photos of herself from various angles, sent them, and waited for her boyfriend's response. He rang her ... by Madeline Ashby read by Tina Connolly Violet snapped three photos of herself from various angles, sent them, and waited for her boyfriend's response. He rang her upmdash;a slow vibrating purr, unlike the staccato door-knocking of her mother's ringvibemdash;and said: "Me likey. Now take it off." Violet frowned. "You were _supposed_ to dig up the backstory on the dress." "Well, you can't blame me for getting a little distracted. Besides, isn't it bad luck for me to see?" "That's only for weddings, not prom." Rated R for language, teen-adult situations, and virtual steadies. Also, Norm's sexy talk. 17,and,Up,,Podcasts,,Uncategorized Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2009/09/03/ep214/ http://escapepod.org/2009/09/03/ep214/#comments Thu, 03 Sep 2009 11:30:32 +0000 JeremyT http://escapepod.org/?p=457 http://escapepod.org/2009/09/03/ep214/feed/ 13 57:51 by Eugie Foster Narrated by Lawrence Santoro Each morning is a decision. Should I put on the brown mask or the blue? Should I be a ... by Eugie Foster Narrated by Lawrence Santoro Each morning is a decision. Should I put on the brown mask or the blue? Should I be a tradesman or an assassin today? Whatever the queen demands, of course, I am. But so often she ignores me, and I am left to figure out for myself who to be. Dozens upon dozens of faces to choose from. 1. Marigold is for murder. Rated R for sex, masks, and violence. 17,and,Up,,Podcasts,,Uncategorized Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2009/08/27/ep213-a-monkey-will-never-get-rid-of-its-black-hands/ http://escapepod.org/2009/08/27/ep213-a-monkey-will-never-get-rid-of-its-black-hands/#comments Fri, 28 Aug 2009 02:28:09 +0000 JeremyT http://escapepod.org/?p=450 http://escapepod.org/2009/08/27/ep213-a-monkey-will-never-get-rid-of-its-black-hands/feed/ 2 50:40 By Rachel Swirsky. Read by Alasdair Stuart. All stories by Rachel Swirsky All stories read by Alasdair Stuart Papa and Uncle Fomba told me if I didnrsquo;t join the ... By Rachel Swirsky. Read by Alasdair Stuart. All stories by Rachel Swirsky All stories read by Alasdair Stuart Papa and Uncle Fomba told me if I didnrsquo;t join the army, theyrsquo;d kill me. They didnrsquo;t. They cut off my hands. This was after U.S. forces marched on Syria, but before we invaded Lebanon. On every city block, posters of Uncle Sam entreated every Tom, Duc, and Haroun to get blown up in the name of freedom. Papa and Fomba gave me two weeks to enlist. I ran for Canada instead. They caught me. Rated R for amputation fads. 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2009/08/20/ep212-skinhorse-goes-to-mars/ http://escapepod.org/2009/08/20/ep212-skinhorse-goes-to-mars/#comments Thu, 20 Aug 2009 20:18:05 +0000 JeremyT http://escapepod.org/?p=440 http://escapepod.org/2009/08/20/ep212-skinhorse-goes-to-mars/feed/ 13 00:01:01 by Jay Lake Read by Mike Boris When I met Skinhorse, my first thought was old. Which was weird. Nobody gets old these days. ... by Jay Lake Read by Mike Boris When I met Skinhorse, my first thought was old. Which was weird. Nobody gets old these days. We all die young, some of us after living a long time, if we're lucky. He was in Piet's Number Seven, a bar-cum-caravanserai in an illegal orbit trailing far enough behind Vesta to be ignorable. Piet's had been instantiated in an old volatiles bladder that had done the Jovian run a few too many times before falling into the surplus circuit. You could store entire cities in Piet's cubage, which made for a somewhat attenuated bar experience. Plus the place had one of those gravity cans -- yes, those gravity cans -- which meant your drink stayed stuck down long as you were near a Higgs carpet. So there I was annoying myself with three perfectly disrespectable rock jocks, each of us out to fleece the others, when this cadaver starts to stand over me. We're all forever young or forever dead, but this armstrong looked like he'd shaved about half a cent too deep across his whole body, then restored his dermis with spray-on thermal insulation. Rated R for strong language, strong violence, and world-spanning tumors. 17,and,Up,,Podcasts,,Uncategorized Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2009/07/19/ep207-wonder-maul-doll/ http://escapepod.org/2009/07/19/ep207-wonder-maul-doll/#comments Sun, 19 Jul 2009 16:25:08 +0000 JeremyT http://escapepod.org/?p=416 http://escapepod.org/2009/07/19/ep207-wonder-maul-doll/feed/ 19 31:01 By Kameron Hurley Read by Kim the Comic Book Goddess Appeared originally in From the Trenches We set down in Pekoi as part of the organics inquisition team, ... By Kameron Hurley Read by Kim the Comic Book Goddess Appeared originally in From the Trenches We set down in Pekoi as part of the organics inquisition team, still stinking of the last city. We're all muscle. Not brains. The brains are out eating at the foreignersrsquo; push downtown, and they donrsquo;t care if we whore around the tourist dregs half the night so long as somebodyrsquo;s sober enough to haul them out come morning. When the brains arenrsquo;t eating, theyrsquo;re pretending to give us directions in the field, telling us where to sniff out organics. Theyrsquo;re writing reports about how dangerous Pekoi is to the civilized world. Wersquo;re swapping off some boy in a backwater push the locals cleared out for us. Wersquo;re sitting around a low table. I pass off another card to Kep. Luce swaps out a suit. She has to sit on one leg to lean over the table. Itrsquo;s hot in the low room, so humid that moths clutter aroundour feet, too heavy to fly. The boyrsquo;s making little mewling sounds again. Somebody should shut him up, but not me. This is my hand. Irsquo;m ahead. Rated R for violence and sexual situations. 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Kameron Hurley no No http://escapepod.org/2009/02/27/ep188-29-union-leaders-cant-be-wrong/ http://escapepod.org/2009/02/27/ep188-29-union-leaders-cant-be-wrong/#comments Fri, 27 Feb 2009 05:36:11 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=340 http://escapepod.org/2009/02/27/ep188-29-union-leaders-cant-be-wrong/feed/ 38 28:40 By Genevieve Valentine. Read by Chris Lester (of Metamor City). First appeared in Strange Horizons, November 2007 Guest Host: Jeffrey R. DeRego Audible.com Promotion! Get your free audiobook at: http://audible.com/escapepodsff "This ... By Genevieve Valentine. Read by Chris Lester (of Metamor City). First appeared in Strange Horizons, November 2007 Guest Host: Jeffrey R. DeRego Audible.com Promotion! Get your free audiobook at: http://audible.com/escapepodsff "This is normal," the doctor says, and, "Give yourself time, it's key," and, "The hospital psychiatrist will be speaking to you about some support groups." "What about Marlene?" "She's speaking with one of our counselors," the doctor says. "Full transplant is usually something of a shock to the loved one, at first." "How long until I can see her?" "That's up to her," the doctor says. "Can you squeeze the orange for me?" As long as he doesn't look, it's fine. Rated R. Contains adult situations and violence. 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Genevieve Valentine no No http://escapepod.org/2009/02/07/ep187-summer-in-paris-light-from-the-sky/ http://escapepod.org/2009/02/07/ep187-summer-in-paris-light-from-the-sky/#comments Sat, 07 Feb 2009 23:05:06 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=338 http://escapepod.org/2009/02/07/ep187-summer-in-paris-light-from-the-sky/feed/ 89 50:00 By Ken Scholes. Read by Alex Wilson (of Telltale Weekly). Adolf Hitler came to Paris in June 1941 feeling the weight of his years in his legs ... By Ken Scholes. Read by Alex Wilson (of Telltale Weekly). Adolf Hitler came to Paris in June 1941 feeling the weight of his years in his legs and the taste of a dying dream in his mouth. He spent most of that first day walking up and down the Champs Elyseacute;es, working the stiffness out of his bones and muscles while he looked at the shops and the people. Some of the dull ache was from the wooden benches on the train from Hamburg; most of it was age. And beneath the discomfort of his body, his soul ached too. He'd never been here before, he thought as the Parisians slipped past in the noon-time sun. He snorted at the revelation. A fine painter you are, he told himself. Rated R. Contains sexual violence. Also may be offensive to some for historical reasons. 17,and,Up,,Podcasts,,Uncategorized Ken Scholes no No http://escapepod.org/2008/12/01/escape-pod-flash-fiction-contest-honorable-mention-from-liquid-to-glass/ http://escapepod.org/2008/12/01/escape-pod-flash-fiction-contest-honorable-mention-from-liquid-to-glass/#comments Mon, 01 Dec 2008 05:00:02 +0000 Rachel http://escapepod.org/?p=326 http://escapepod.org/2008/12/01/escape-pod-flash-fiction-contest-honorable-mention-from-liquid-to-glass/feed/ 10 1:40 By J. R. Blackwell. Read by Rachel Swirsky (of PodCastle). He smelled like new cars andnbsp;cologne, he moved with a measured rhythm. His mouth tasted like mintnbsp;toothpaste. ... By J. R. Blackwell. Read by Rachel Swirsky (of PodCastle). He smelled like new cars andnbsp;cologne, he moved with a measured rhythm. His mouth tasted like mintnbsp;toothpaste. She looked over his shoulder through the white light ofnbsp;the window. She was sweating into her sheets, her breath silent, andnbsp;her lips thin and tight. Rated R. Contains sex and melancholia. 17,and,Up,,Flash,,Podcasts J. R. Blackwell no No http://escapepod.org/2008/11/09/ep183-beans-and-marbles/ http://escapepod.org/2008/11/09/ep183-beans-and-marbles/#comments Sun, 09 Nov 2008 20:35:00 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=319 http://escapepod.org/2008/11/09/ep183-beans-and-marbles/feed/ 48 38:46 (Update: Reposted with editing mistakes corrected. My apologies for the errors.) By Floris M. Kleijne. Read by Stephen Eley. First appeared in Andromeda Spaceways Inflight Magazine, August ... (Update: Reposted with editing mistakes corrected. My apologies for the errors.) By Floris M. Kleijne. Read by Stephen Eley. First appeared in Andromeda Spaceways Inflight Magazine, August 2005. When Flight Control assigned us utility privileges, I don't think they expected me to brew espresso in the centrifugal head. But the weight of the espresso machine was well within the parameters they'd set, as was my use of a couple of ounces of fresh water and a fraction of the ship's power supply each day, so there was nothing, really, they could say or do about it. Privileges are privileges, and if the purpose was to give both of us something to keep us happy, it worked for me. My morning espresso ritual kept me sane. I looked forward to it every day. Richard, however, wasn't quite as tolerant as Flight Control. Rated R. Contains violence, strong language, and disturbed individuals. Who use strong language and violence. 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2008/08/29/ep173-robots-dont-cry/ http://escapepod.org/2008/08/29/ep173-robots-dont-cry/#comments Fri, 29 Aug 2008 23:20:41 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=309 http://escapepod.org/2008/08/29/ep173-robots-dont-cry/feed/ 31 42:22 By Mike Resnick. Read by Stephen Eley. Discuss on our forums. All stories by Mike Resnick. All stories read by Stephen Eley. Every now and then we strike it rich. ... By Mike Resnick. Read by Stephen Eley. Discuss on our forums. All stories by Mike Resnick. All stories read by Stephen Eley. Every now and then we strike it rich. Usually we make a profit. Once in a while we just break even. There's only been one world where we actually lost money; I still remember it -- Greenwillow. Except that it wasn't green, and there wasn't a willow on the whole damned planet. There was a robot, though. We found him, me and the Baroni, in a barn, half-hidden under a pile of ancient computer parts and self-feeders for mutated cattle. We were picking through the stuff, wondering if there was any market for it, tossing most of it aside, when the sun peeked in through the doorway and glinted off a prismatic eye. "Hey, take a look at what we've got here," I said. "Give me a hand digging it out." Rated R. Contains profanity and some sadness. 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2008/08/22/ep172-union-dues-tabula-rasa/ http://escapepod.org/2008/08/22/ep172-union-dues-tabula-rasa/#comments Fri, 22 Aug 2008 22:00:58 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=307 http://escapepod.org/2008/08/22/ep172-union-dues-tabula-rasa/feed/ 18 40:40 By Jeffrey R. DeRego. Read by Stephen Eley. Discuss on our forums. All stories by Jeffrey R. DeRego All stories read by Stephen Eley Audible.com Promotion! Get your free audiobook at: ... By Jeffrey R. DeRego. Read by Stephen Eley. Discuss on our forums. All stories by Jeffrey R. DeRego All stories read by Stephen Eley Audible.com Promotion! Get your free audiobook at: http://audible.com/escapepodsff I raise my hand and she stops chattering. "Just tell me who you are and where I am." She freezes and blinks twice. "Tell you where you are? Cap, you're home. This is the Cleveland Pyramid. I'm Sarah Shadow. You don't recognize me?" "That doesn't mean anything to me!" I stand up. Frustration washes over me like heat from a blast furnace, and worse, my stomach is rumbling. "I woke up today. The first person I saw was you, but I've never seen you before in my life. I figured as long as I was in the hospital, or wherever, I'd start to remember, but it's a blank. Where am I, what is this place, what are you people?" I point at her costume. "And that, what's that, are you part of a circus act or something?" Rated R. Contains profanity, sexual innuendo, and a bit of soap opera. Referenced Sites: Playing for Keeps by Mur Lafferty 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Jeffrey R. DeRego no No http://escapepod.org/2008/08/15/ep171-fennemans-mouth/ http://escapepod.org/2008/08/15/ep171-fennemans-mouth/#comments Fri, 15 Aug 2008 22:30:03 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=304 http://escapepod.org/2008/08/15/ep171-fennemans-mouth/feed/ 27 36:50 By Andy Duncan. Read by Jared Axelrod (of The Voice of Free Planet X). "Fenneman?" The studio audience laughed loudly, as it always did when Groucho turned, in ... By Andy Duncan. Read by Jared Axelrod (of The Voice of Free Planet X). "Fenneman?" The studio audience laughed loudly, as it always did when Groucho turned, in mock desperation or annoyance, to his long-suffering, hopelessly square announcer. Groucho's voice slightly increased in pitch whenever he said Fennemanrsquo;s name, as if he were just at the edge of losing his celebrated cool. This half-squawk had been funny in the stateroom scene of A Night at the Opera ("Steward! Steward!"), and it was still funny on You Bet Your Life twenty-five years later. He was a pro, Groucho was, and I did right by him; I modulated that pitch myself. Rated R. Contains profanity, and real and simulated persons behaving badly. Featured Site: Playing for Keeps 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Andy Duncan no No http://escapepod.org/2008/08/08/ep170-pervert/ http://escapepod.org/2008/08/08/ep170-pervert/#comments Fri, 08 Aug 2008 19:45:33 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=302 http://escapepod.org/2008/08/08/ep170-pervert/feed/ 44 35:03 By Charles Coleman Finlay. Read by Stephen Eley. First appeared in Fantasy and Science Fiction, March 2004. Audible.com Promotion! Get your free audiobook at: http://audible.com/escapepodsff When the bus reaches the ... By Charles Coleman Finlay. Read by Stephen Eley. First appeared in Fantasy and Science Fiction, March 2004. Audible.com Promotion! Get your free audiobook at: http://audible.com/escapepodsff When the bus reaches the corner, they climb onboard, taking seats on their side and evening out the ride so it doesn't feel so much like we'll tip over. We rattle along past road construction, the men working behind screens that are consecrated by the priests each morning as part of the men's quarter, and resanctified to the women at quitting time. The sun already pelts down mercilessly and they will have to leave off working soon. We enter the government quarter and arrive at the Children's Center, a long concrete brick of a building with windows shielded from the sun by an open grid of deep squares made of the same material. The morning light turns it into a chessboard of glaring white and dark shadow. I don't work with the children, who are on the lower floors and the sheltered playground of the courtyard, but toil away with records on the upper floors. Unlike Jamin or Zel, I am permitted by the job to work alongside women, but only because I completed my theological studies and am a candidate for the priesthood. My superiors do not know of the taint on my soul. Do not know yet, I should say, and when they discover it I will never be ordained or promoted. Rated R. Contains explicit sexual activity. 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Charles Coleman Finlay no No http://escapepod.org/2008/08/01/ep169-how-i-mounted-goldie-saved-my-partner-lori-and-sniffed-out-the-peoples-justice/ http://escapepod.org/2008/08/01/ep169-how-i-mounted-goldie-saved-my-partner-lori-and-sniffed-out-the-peoples-justice/#comments Fri, 01 Aug 2008 08:00:36 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=300 http://escapepod.org/2008/08/01/ep169-how-i-mounted-goldie-saved-my-partner-lori-and-sniffed-out-the-peoples-justice/feed/ 97 48:03 By Jonathon Sullivan. Read by Stephen Eley and Jennifer Bowie (of Screen Space). Q: What happened when you arrived at the address in question? A: My Partner Lori ... By Jonathon Sullivan. Read by Stephen Eley and Jennifer Bowie (of Screen Space). Q: What happened when you arrived at the address in question? A: My Partner Lori opened my door and I jumped out. I arrested a suspect! Q: Yes, Officer Bull. But I would like you to tell me exactly what happened, in detail, from the time you got out of the car. A: Okay. My skulltop showed me which house, and I ran toward it. A man and three dogs ran out the door. One of them was a bitch with pretty haunches. She was in heat, and I really really really liked the way she smelled. I wanted to run after her, but I knew I should go after the man. So I did. Even though I liked the way she smelled! Rated R. Contains profanity, violence, and canine sexuality. Referenced Sites: CrimeWAV Crime Fiction Podcast 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Jonathon Sullivan no No http://escapepod.org/2008/07/11/ep166-the-something-dreaming-game/ http://escapepod.org/2008/07/11/ep166-the-something-dreaming-game/#comments Fri, 11 Jul 2008 08:10:12 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=292 http://escapepod.org/2008/07/11/ep166-the-something-dreaming-game/feed/ 39 39:03 By Elizabeth Bear. Read by Mur Lafferty (of The Takeover and The Murverse). First appeared in Fast Forward 1, ed. Lou Anders. Audible.com Promotion! Get your free audiobook at: ... By Elizabeth Bear. Read by Mur Lafferty (of The Takeover and The Murverse). First appeared in Fast Forward 1, ed. Lou Anders. Audible.com Promotion! Get your free audiobook at: http://audible.com/escapepodsff First, therersquo;s the pressure. A special kind of pressure, high under Tararsquo;s chin, that makes her feel heavy and light all at once. She kneels by the chair and leans across the edge, because if she faints, the chair will roll away and she wonrsquo;t choke. Shersquo;s always careful. After the pressure she gets dizzy, and her vision gets kind ofhellip; narrow, dark around the edges. Itrsquo;s hard to breathe, and it feels like therersquo;s something stuck in her throat. Prickles run up and down her back, down her arms where the pain used to be, and a warm fluid kind of feeling sloshes around inside her. She slides down, as things get dark, and then she starts to dream. But not like night time dreams. These are special. Rated R. Contains children engaging in extremely dangerous practices. Parental guidance STRONGLY recommended. Referenced Sites: Brave Men Run: A Novel of the Sovereign Era 17,and,Up,,Podcasts,,Uncategorized Elizabeth Bear no No http://escapepod.org/2008/06/27/ep164-the-right-kind-of-town/ http://escapepod.org/2008/06/27/ep164-the-right-kind-of-town/#comments Fri, 27 Jun 2008 11:00:25 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=290 http://escapepod.org/2008/06/27/ep164-the-right-kind-of-town/feed/ 21 24:15 By Christian Klaver. Read by Cunning Minx (of Polyamory Weekly). Audible.com Promotion! Get your free audiobook at: http://audible.com/escapepodsff In the civilized places closer to Hegemony space, you donrsquo;t see many ... By Christian Klaver. Read by Cunning Minx (of Polyamory Weekly). Audible.com Promotion! Get your free audiobook at: http://audible.com/escapepodsff In the civilized places closer to Hegemony space, you donrsquo;t see many bodies in the street in the first place. When you do, theyrsquo;re always swarmed with sheriffs, marshals, constables, morticians and the like. Then the body gets moved fast, so as to not ruffle the civilized folk. The rest happens behind closed doors. Some towns donrsquo;t ever get bodies in the street. The only deaths are from sickness or accidents or old age. But I donrsquo;t tend to get to those towns so much, since they frown on my whoring profession. The towns I work in, everyone carries a gun. Being a pretty woman in my line of work, I carry two. Rated R. Contains sex, violence, profanity, the quick, and the dead. Referenced Sites: The Nautilus Engine Geek Dad T-shirt Geek Mom T-shirt 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Christian Klaver no No http://escapepod.org/2008/06/20/ep163-revolution-time/ http://escapepod.org/2008/06/20/ep163-revolution-time/#comments Fri, 20 Jun 2008 10:52:57 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=289 http://escapepod.org/2008/06/20/ep163-revolution-time/feed/ 39 36:03 By Lavie Tidhar. Read by Stephen Eley. First appeared in Flurb #2, ed. Rudy Rucker. Special closing music: "Think For Yourself" by George Hrab. "I don't see why you ... By Lavie Tidhar. Read by Stephen Eley. First appeared in Flurb #2, ed. Rudy Rucker. Special closing music: "Think For Yourself" by George Hrab. "I don't see why you necessarily think it leads to the Chrono area," Monty said, playing devil's advocate. It was a month earlier, at the usual place: The Trotsky, a damp, dark watering hole in a run-down part of town which, rumour had it, was once visited by the man himself, in his own dark, yet colourful, past. "Where else would it lead, man?" Morgan sparked up a joint and stared at him across the table. The smoke framed her face like the shape of a heart. "I wouldn't be here ndash;" she waved her finger at him, "and you wouldn't be here, if it wasn't something both of our respective organisations thought was worth pursuing." I smiled, admiring her strength and her energy. Monty scowled. "Take that puppy-dog-in-love look off your face. It's embarrassing. And you," he said, addressing Morgan, "should know better than to get your hopes up. After all, as the saying goes, they only ever bring back Shakespeare." Rated R. Contains some profanity, some violence, and communist propaganda. May be illegal in Louisiana. Referenced Sites: ClonePod 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Lavie Tidhar no No http://escapepod.org/2008/06/12/ep162-god-juice/ http://escapepod.org/2008/06/12/ep162-god-juice/#comments Fri, 13 Jun 2008 00:00:35 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=288 http://escapepod.org/2008/06/12/ep162-god-juice/feed/ 23 1:01:28 By M.K. Hobson. Read by Christiana Ellis (of Christiana's Shallow Thoughts). First appeared in Polyphony 6, ed. Deborah Layne and Jay Lake. Audible.com Promotion! Receive your free audiobook at: ... By M.K. Hobson. Read by Christiana Ellis (of Christiana's Shallow Thoughts). First appeared in Polyphony 6, ed. Deborah Layne and Jay Lake. Audible.com Promotion! Receive your free audiobook at: http://audible.com/escapepodsff "I wish to give you the opportunity to purchase a very valuable artifact from the great age of Ja'ardi civilization," he said. "We stole it from a rival tribe, who revered it as possessing divine powers. I am prepared to offer it to you at a very reasonable price." I rolled my eyes. If I had a nickel for every time someone tried to sell me an artifact with divine powers ... Zhee must have seen the eyeroll, for he hastened to add: "It is reputed to bestow upon its owner the ability to create flowing rivers of God Juice." I tilted my head slightly to see if some sense might roll downhill from his words. "Correct me if I'm wrong," I said, sucking on the wedge of flesh-colored fruit, "But isn't God Juice the stuff that caused your civilization to collapse?" Zhee shifted, scratching the back of his head. "Well ... yes." Rated R. Contains strong language and sexual tomfoolery. 17,and,Up,,Podcasts,,Uncategorized M.K. Hobson no No http://escapepod.org/2008/05/22/ep159-elites/ http://escapepod.org/2008/05/22/ep159-elites/#comments Thu, 22 May 2008 08:30:20 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=285 http://escapepod.org/2008/05/22/ep159-elites/feed/ 36 49:10 By Kristine Kathryn Rusch. Read by Maacute;ia Whitaker (of KnitWitch's SciFi/Fantasy Zone and Superior Audioworks). First appeared in Women of War, ed. Tanya Huff Alexander Potter. I ... By Kristine Kathryn Rusch. Read by Maacute;ia Whitaker (of KnitWitch's SciFi/Fantasy Zone and Superior Audioworks). First appeared in Women of War, ed. Tanya Huff Alexander Potter. I couldrsquo;ve followed the sounds. The closer I get, the louder voices growmdash;yelling obscenities, cheering, clapping in approval. These women love fights. I used to let them do it too, without interference, until the repair bills got too much. Then the House shrink told me about the added toll of repeated traumamdash;the fights would often replicate something that happened Out Theremdash;and I realized that no matter how much steam got blown off, the fights werenrsquo;t worth the expense. Still, I wished for those old days sometimes. Rated R. Contains violence, profanity, and strong themes of war and psychological trauma. Referenced Sites: "Recovering Apollo 8" by Kristine Kathryn Rusch 7th Son: OBSIDIAN, ed. J.C. Hutchins 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2008/05/15/ep158-whos-afraid-of-wolf-359/ http://escapepod.org/2008/05/15/ep158-whos-afraid-of-wolf-359/#comments Fri, 16 May 2008 01:15:11 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=282 http://escapepod.org/2008/05/15/ep158-whos-afraid-of-wolf-359/feed/ 32 40:17 2008 Hugo Nominee! By Ken MacLeod. Read by Stephen Eley. First appeared in The New Space Opera, ed. Gardner Dozois Jonathan Strahan. When you're as old as I ... 2008 Hugo Nominee! By Ken MacLeod. Read by Stephen Eley. First appeared in The New Space Opera, ed. Gardner Dozois Jonathan Strahan. When you're as old as I am, you'll find your memory's not what it was. It's not that you lose memories. That hasn't happened to me or anyone else since the Paleocosmic Era, the Old Space Age, when people lived in caves on the Moon. My trouble is that I've gained memories, and I don't know which of them are real. I was very casual about memory storage back then, I seem to recall. This could happen to you too, if you're not careful. So be warned. Do as I say, not as I did. Some of the tales about me contradict each other, or couldn't possibly have happened, because that's how I told them in the first place. Others I blame on the writers and tellers. They make things up. I've never done that. If I've told stories that couldn't be true, it's because that's how I remember them. Here's one. Rated R. Contains profanity, nudity, and in flagrante delicto. Audible.com Promotion! Receive your free audiobook at: http://audiblepodcast.com/escapepod Referenced Sites: 2008 Hugo Awards Free Novels for Worldcon Members 17,and,Up Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2008/04/18/ep154-union-dues-freedom-with-a-small-f/ http://escapepod.org/2008/04/18/ep154-union-dues-freedom-with-a-small-f/#comments Fri, 18 Apr 2008 08:30:03 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/2008/04/18/ep154-union-dues-freedom-with-a-small-f/ http://escapepod.org/2008/04/18/ep154-union-dues-freedom-with-a-small-f/feed/ 39 50:09 By Jeffrey R. DeRego. Read by Nuri (of CandyCorn Studios and Artist Alley). Discuss on our forums. All stories by Jeffrey R. DeRego Closing Music: "Juzt Mizunderztood" by Norm ... By Jeffrey R. DeRego. Read by Nuri (of CandyCorn Studios and Artist Alley). Discuss on our forums. All stories by Jeffrey R. DeRego Closing Music: "Juzt Mizunderztood" by Norm Sherman. My head throbs. I think about the mess in the fridge, the heaps of crap in the flat while I force the clumps of wet clothes into the dryers. As far as I know I am the only Union member who works outside the system, the only one tasked specifically with fighting crime, secretly, of course. Darksider put the program together with one of the Luminaries as a way to explore expanding our role in the maintenance of Normal society. He chose me specifically because I am the only super-agile who is also an orphan. Therefore, I won't be tempted to throw my costume in a dumpster and make a break for mom and dad. Communication with the Union ended seven months ago. Darksider was supposed to make sure that a stipend was deposited into a bank account under my phony name every month. But that stopped too. I don't know why. I tried everything to make contact short of walking up to the Boston Pyramid and knocking. Not that it would have done any good since none of the regular Union knows I even exist. Rated R. Contains sordid occupations, drug use, and violence. Welcome to the city. Referenced Sites: The Union Dues Series Tales of the Zombie War SciFiDig interview with Jeffrey DeRego The DrabbleCast 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Jeffrey R. DeRego no No http://escapepod.org/2008/04/10/ep153-schwartz-between-the-galaxies/ http://escapepod.org/2008/04/10/ep153-schwartz-between-the-galaxies/#comments Thu, 10 Apr 2008 07:59:34 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/2008/04/10/ep153-schwartz-between-the-galaxies/ http://escapepod.org/2008/04/10/ep153-schwartz-between-the-galaxies/feed/ 49 56:15 By Robert Silverberg. Read by Stephen Eley. This much is reality: Schwartz sits comfortably cocooned -- passive, suspended -- in a first-class passenger rack aboard a Japan ... By Robert Silverberg. Read by Stephen Eley. This much is reality: Schwartz sits comfortably cocooned -- passive, suspended -- in a first-class passenger rack aboard a Japan Air Lines rocket, nine kilometers above the Coral Sea. And this much is fantasy: the same Schwartz has passage on a shining starship gliding silkily through the interstellar depths, en route at nine times the velocity of light from Betelgeuse IX to Rigel XXI, or maybe from Andromeda to the Lesser Magellanic. Rated R. Contains some sex, some drug use. It's a Silverberg story. Audible.com Promotion! Receive your free audiobook at: http://audiblepodcast.com/escapepod Referenced Sites: GeekLabel 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2008/04/04/ep152-the-big-guy/ http://escapepod.org/2008/04/04/ep152-the-big-guy/#comments Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:30:03 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/2008/04/04/ep152-the-big-guy/ http://escapepod.org/2008/04/04/ep152-the-big-guy/feed/ 22 38:30 By Mike Resnick. Read by Stephen Eley. Discuss on our forums. First appeared in Jim Baen's Universe, June 2007. All stories by Mike Resnick. All stories read by Stephen Eley. "Okay," ... By Mike Resnick. Read by Stephen Eley. Discuss on our forums. First appeared in Jim Baen's Universe, June 2007. All stories by Mike Resnick. All stories read by Stephen Eley. "Okay," said Fishbait. He tossed a ball to the Big Guy. "Let's try a little one-on-one. Ralph, let's see what you can do against Jacko here." The Big Guy took a look at me, his face totally expressionless. I moved forward to lean on him a little, just enough to make contact and see which way he was going to move when he began his drive to the basket, but before I got close enough to touch him he'd already raced by me and stuffed the ball through the hoop. "Again," said Fishbait. Rated R. Contains strong language and testosterone. Today's Sponsor: Infected by Scott Sigler Referenced Events: Penguicon: April 18-20, 2008 Sex 2.0: April 12, 2008 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Mike Resnick no No http://escapepod.org/2008/03/28/ep151-behind-the-rules/ http://escapepod.org/2008/03/28/ep151-behind-the-rules/#comments Fri, 28 Mar 2008 10:03:44 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/2008/03/28/ep151-behind-the-rules/ http://escapepod.org/2008/03/28/ep151-behind-the-rules/feed/ 26 30:35 By Stephanie Burgis. Read by MA in PA (of Better Late Than Never). First appeared in Forgotten Worlds, July 2006. Closing music: "I Feel Fantastic" by Jonathan Coulton. The ... By Stephanie Burgis. Read by MA in PA (of Better Late Than Never). First appeared in Forgotten Worlds, July 2006. Closing music: "I Feel Fantastic" by Jonathan Coulton. The first Jacqui wrote me out a list of instructions thirty pages long. It contained all her history with Robert, in detail. It gave me a list of all the things to say and do when hersquo;s hurt, or angry, or depressed. I think she was the perfect wife. When I think about how hard it is to measure up to her, my stomach feels twitchy. Irsquo;d been doing this job for three months. It was supposed to get easier with time, not harder. Rated R. Contains strong language and relationship drama. Today's Sponsor: Infected by Scott Sigler 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Stephanie Burgis no No http://escapepod.org/2008/03/14/ep149-union-dues-all-that-we-leave-behind/ http://escapepod.org/2008/03/14/ep149-union-dues-all-that-we-leave-behind/#comments Fri, 14 Mar 2008 07:52:15 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/2008/03/14/ep149-union-dues-all-that-we-leave-behind/ http://escapepod.org/2008/03/14/ep149-union-dues-all-that-we-leave-behind/feed/ 32 40:30 By Jeffrey R. DeRego. Read by Stephen Eley. Discuss on our forums. All stories by Jeffrey R. DeRego All stories read by Stephen Eley If I just lay here they ... By Jeffrey R. DeRego. Read by Stephen Eley. Discuss on our forums. All stories by Jeffrey R. DeRego All stories read by Stephen Eley If I just lay here they will get tired and leave. They can't hurt me all that much; my body is too hard now, too strong. But I can't let on that their kicks and punches don't bother me or who knows what they'll do next. So I'll lay here, curled up in the grass like some lump of igneous rock cast from a far away volcano. "You fat assed son of a bitch! Talk to Loreen again and I'll kill you! You understand me? I'll beat your fat lazy ass to death!" I bet his foot is starting to ache. My stomach is big, but it's not soft. Not anymore. Not since last month when the change happened. We don't have a lot of money so my wardrobe is still designed for a three hundred pound teenager, the kind with an almost unnatural love for pizza and potato chips. I still sort of look the same. But I am different, I can feel it. The rolls of flab that once encircled my belly and back are nearly gone, replaced by rippling muscle. My arms and legs are like tree trunks. I could rip Scott's arms and legs off and beat his torso like a kettledrum. Well, if I wasn't terrified. Rated R. Contains profanity and violence. Today's Sponsor: Infected by Scott Sigler Referenced Sites: The Union Dues Series Understanding Comics by Scott McCloud 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2008/01/11/ep140-astromonkeys/ http://escapepod.org/2008/01/11/ep140-astromonkeys/#comments Fri, 11 Jan 2008 08:05:37 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=258 http://escapepod.org/2008/01/11/ep140-astromonkeys/feed/ 21 35:48 By Tony Frazier. Read by Norm Sherman (of The Drabblecast). First appeared in Jim Baen's Universe, June 2006. "All right, so I'm chasing these things down the street, and ... By Tony Frazier. Read by Norm Sherman (of The Drabblecast). First appeared in Jim Baen's Universe, June 2006. "All right, so I'm chasing these things down the street, and there's more showing up all the time, so now there's like ten of them. I have no idea how I'm supposed to wrangle all these space monkeys, and right about then is when this dude comes swooping down out of the sky, wearing this blue costume with a big yellow star on his chest." "Another hero," Jill says. "Guy named Astro," I say. "I'd run into him a few times before, back when GoDS 1.0 was still together. He would be fighting this monster - that was his thing, fighting these random space monsters - and we'd show up to help out. I thought he was okay, but the other guys didn't like him much." "Why not?" Jill asks. "Well, he was kind of a dork. No offense," I say, turning to Dave. Dave waves it off. Rated PG. Contains some profanity, some scatology, and a lot of silly superhero violence. Referenced Sites: John W. Campbell Award for Best New Writer Mur Lafferty 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2008/01/04/ep139-acephalous-dreams/ http://escapepod.org/2008/01/04/ep139-acephalous-dreams/#comments Fri, 04 Jan 2008 06:59:33 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=257 http://escapepod.org/2008/01/04/ep139-acephalous-dreams/feed/ 30 48:30 By Neal Asher. Read by Stephen Eley. "AI Geronamid has need of a subject for a scientific trial. This trial may kill you, in which case it ... By Neal Asher. Read by Stephen Eley. "AI Geronamid has need of a subject for a scientific trial. This trial may kill you, in which case it would be considered completion of sentence. Should you survive, all charges against you will be dropped." "And the nature of this trial?" "Cephalic implantation of Csorian node." "Okay, I agree, though I have no idea what Csorian node is." The Golem stood and as she did so the door slid open. Daes glanced up at the security eye in the corner of the cell and stood also. He thought, briefly, about escape, but knew he stood no chance. His companion might look like a teenage girl but he knew she was strong enough to rip him in half. "You didn't tell me. What's a Csorian node?" "If we knew that with any certainty we would not be carrying out this trial," replied the Golem. Rated R. Contains scenes of strong graphic violence and sexual assault. 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2007/12/14/ep136-bright-red-star/ http://escapepod.org/2007/12/14/ep136-bright-red-star/#comments Fri, 14 Dec 2007 09:33:27 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=254 http://escapepod.org/2007/12/14/ep136-bright-red-star/feed/ 21 33:50 By Bud Sparhawk. Read by Paul Haring (of Escape Pod Classic). First appeared in Asimov's Science Fiction, March 2005. Survivors isn't exactly the word. What they found were ... By Bud Sparhawk. Read by Paul Haring (of Escape Pod Classic). First appeared in Asimov's Science Fiction, March 2005. Survivors isn't exactly the word. What they found were sixteen bodies without arms, legs, and most organs. What remained were essentially heads hooked up to life support and fueled by oxygenated glucose pumps. There were a couple hundred strands of glass fibre running from the ship's walls into each skull, into each brain, into each soul. Four of the sixteen were still functioning--alive is not a word to describe their condition. There was no hesitation on the part of Command. They ordered everyone, except combat types like us, from the most likely targets. Humanity couldn't allow any more people to become components for the Shardie offense. But civilians never listen. Farmers were the worse, hanging onto their little plots and crops until somebody dragged them away, kicking and screaming at the injustice of it all. That's why we were here. Forty settlers had stupidly refused to be evacuated from New Mars. Forty we didn't know about until we got that one brief burst. My mission was to make certain that they didn't become forty armless, legless, gutless, screamless weapon components. Rated R. Contains strong violence and heavy moral themes. Referenced Sites: Reading is Fundamental Starship Sofa 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2007/11/29/ep134-me-and-my-shadow/ http://escapepod.org/2007/11/29/ep134-me-and-my-shadow/#comments Fri, 30 Nov 2007 01:08:20 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=251 http://escapepod.org/2007/11/29/ep134-me-and-my-shadow/feed/ 21 37:00 By Mike Resnick. Read by Stephen Eley. Discuss on our forums. First appeared in Unauthorized Autobiographies and Other Curiosities, 1984. All stories by Mike Resnick. All stories read by Stephen ... By Mike Resnick. Read by Stephen Eley. Discuss on our forums. First appeared in Unauthorized Autobiographies and Other Curiosities, 1984. All stories by Mike Resnick. All stories read by Stephen Eley. Of course, even if we had met before, they couldn't recognize me now. I know. I've spent almost three years trying to find out who I was before I got Erased -- but along with what they did to my brain, they gave me a new face and wiped my fingerprints clean. I'm a brand new man: two years, eleven months, and seventeen days old. I am (fanfare and trumpets, please!) William Jordan. Not a real catchy name, I'll admit, but it's the only one I've got these days. I had another name once. They told me not to worry about it, that all my memories had been expunged and that I couldn't dredge up a single fact no matter how hard I tried, not even if I took a little Sodium-P from a hypnotist, and after a few weeks I had to agree with them--which didn't mean that I stopped trying. Erasures never stop trying. Rated R. Contains violent crime, violent imagery, and themes of violence. 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2007/10/25/ep129-immortal-sin/ http://escapepod.org/2007/10/25/ep129-immortal-sin/#comments Fri, 26 Oct 2007 02:00:15 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=245 http://escapepod.org/2007/10/25/ep129-immortal-sin/feed/ 27 46:28 By Jennifer Pelland Read by Stephen Eley. First appeared in Tales of the Unanticipated, November 2005. Alex stumbled from the confessional, through the church, all the way to ... By Jennifer Pelland Read by Stephen Eley. First appeared in Tales of the Unanticipated, November 2005. Alex stumbled from the confessional, through the church, all the way to the curb. He had to get out of there. He couldn't sit in the house of God anymore. God didn't want him there. That was abundantly clear. Forty-one years of perfect mass attendance. Six years as an altar boy. A childhood spent praying for his grandmother's soul to hasten her time in Purgatory. A spotless record of weekly confessions for the past twelve years. He'd even stopped having sex with Alison two years ago after she'd gotten a tubal ligation so he wouldn't be committing fornication. He'd followed the rules when he could, and asked for forgiveness when he couldn't. But none of it mattered. He would die unshriven. Unless he didn't die. Rated R. It's our Halloween episode. Expect to be disturbed. Referenced Sites: Broad Universe The DrabbleCast 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2007/09/27/ep125-end-game/ http://escapepod.org/2007/09/27/ep125-end-game/#comments Thu, 27 Sep 2007 07:29:21 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=240 http://escapepod.org/2007/09/27/ep125-end-game/feed/ 35 37:00 By Nancy Kress Read by Stephen Eley. First appeared in Asimov's Science Fiction, April 2007. "What exactly happened in the seventh grade?" I found myself intensely curious, ... By Nancy Kress Read by Stephen Eley. First appeared in Asimov's Science Fiction, April 2007. "What exactly happened in the seventh grade?" I found myself intensely curious, which I covered by staring at the board and making a move. He told me, still unembarrassed, in exhaustive detail. Then he added, "It should be possible to adjust brain chemicals to eliminate the static. To unclutter the mind. It should!" "Well," I said, dropping from insight to my more usual sarcasm, "maybe you'll do it at Harvard, if you don't get sidetracked by some weird shit like ballet or model railroads." "Checkmate," Allen said. Rated R. Contains profanity, sexual innuendo, and chess-related violence. Referenced Sites: 2007 Podcast New Media Expo California Brunch Meetup 9/30/07 Better Late Than Never (Stardust review) 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2007/09/06/ep122-transcendence-express/ http://escapepod.org/2007/09/06/ep122-transcendence-express/#comments Fri, 07 Sep 2007 03:00:29 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=236 http://escapepod.org/2007/09/06/ep122-transcendence-express/feed/ 25 35:00 By Jetse de Vries. Read by Jack Mangan (of Jack Mangan's Deadpan). First appeared in Hub Magazine Issue #2. Unable to keep my distance, I walk up to ... By Jetse de Vries. Read by Jack Mangan (of Jack Mangan's Deadpan). First appeared in Hub Magazine Issue #2. Unable to keep my distance, I walk up to three classmates interacting with one such a BIKO. The pictures are fuzzy, the colours ill-defined and the reaction time tediously slow. However, the letters appearing are large and easily readable, and after all three kids have been asked to introduce themselves the program equally divides its attention to each of them, making them take turns while the other two can effortlessly follow what's going on. But man, is it slow. The display makes your eyes water and would have any western whizz kid tuning the screen properties like crazy. Still, the real wonder is that those pell-mell constructions are doing anything at all. Furthermore, those African kids have nothing to compare them with, so are uncritically happy with what they've got. As dinner time closes in Liona has to wrestle most kids away from their new toys and promises that first thing tomorrow they will -- after school hours -- start making new BIKOs, so that eventually every classmate will have one. The whole class cheers and Liona's smile doesn't leave her face for the rest of the evening. Rated R. Contains sexual innuendo, some strong language, and an R-rated bit of podcast feedback at the end. Referenced Sites: Steve's Dragon*Con Report Mradic;copy;decins Sans Frontiradic;reg;res/Doctors Without Borders One Laptop Per Child Blog of the Week: Hares Rock Lots (receives Carnal Knowledge by Charles Hodgson) 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2007/08/23/ep120-the-sundial-brigade/ http://escapepod.org/2007/08/23/ep120-the-sundial-brigade/#comments Thu, 23 Aug 2007 04:01:44 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=233 http://escapepod.org/2007/08/23/ep120-the-sundial-brigade/feed/ 26 54:59 By James Trimarco. Read by Graydancer (of The Ropecast). First appeared in Glorifying Terrorism, ed. Farah Mendlesohn. Closing song: "Think For Yourself" by George Hrab Not long after that, ... By James Trimarco. Read by Graydancer (of The Ropecast). First appeared in Glorifying Terrorism, ed. Farah Mendlesohn. Closing song: "Think For Yourself" by George Hrab Not long after that, Antonio had an appointment with his curator, Yoshi, at the Department of Human Heritage. Antonio explained his situation in the Tyrranean language. "So you're unsatisfied with your role as a beggar," Yoshi said. "That's hardly surprising. The unemployed of the early twenty-first century were also unhappy. Your emotions are true to period, that's all." "But it's all wrong," Antonio insisted. "I did well in school. I studied to be an engineer. If this was the real Italy, someone like me wouldn't end up like this." Yoshi's mouth curved into the sterile non-smile of a bureaucrat with no time for sympathy. Rated R. Contains strong themes of violence and terrorism, strong language, and some sexual content. Referenced Sites: UK Terrorism Act 2006 Graydancer.com Stranger Things 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2007/08/02/ep117-reggie-vs-kaiju-storm-chimera-wolf/ http://escapepod.org/2007/08/02/ep117-reggie-vs-kaiju-storm-chimera-wolf/#comments Thu, 02 Aug 2007 21:30:06 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=228 http://escapepod.org/2007/08/02/ep117-reggie-vs-kaiju-storm-chimera-wolf/feed/ 18 39:00 By Matthew Wayne Selznick. Read by Scott Sigler (of Earthcore, Ancestor, Infected, The Rookie). Yarborough led them through the impromptu village of broad white tents, rows of outhouses, ... By Matthew Wayne Selznick. Read by Scott Sigler (of Earthcore, Ancestor, Infected, The Rookie). Yarborough led them through the impromptu village of broad white tents, rows of outhouses, sensor towers, and heavy weapons installations that had obliterated the turf of the athletic field. They stopped at the fence on the edge of the hilltop. "You can get a pretty good look at the swath, here." On a day without monsters, it would have been a nice view. You could see most of the town center, and all the way to Pacific Coast Highway the misty ocean beyond. A wide, flat, smoking scar of ruin cut from the water to a shopping center half a mile inland. Rated R. Contains profanity and giant monster violence. Referenced Sites: Knitwitch's Sci-Fi Fantasy Zone on Talkshoe 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2007/07/05/ep113-ishmael-in-love/ http://escapepod.org/2007/07/05/ep113-ishmael-in-love/#comments Thu, 05 Jul 2007 10:17:27 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=224 http://escapepod.org/2007/07/05/ep113-ishmael-in-love/feed/ 30 39:30 By Robert Silverberg. Read by Stephen Eley. First appeared in Fantasy Science Fiction, July 1970. I am a lonely mammalian organism who has committed acts of heroism ... By Robert Silverberg. Read by Stephen Eley. First appeared in Fantasy Science Fiction, July 1970. I am a lonely mammalian organism who has committed acts of heroism on behalf of your species and wishes only the reward of a more intimate relationship ["love"] with Miss Lisabeth Calkins. I beseech compassionate members of H. sapiens to speak favorably of me to her. I am loyal, trustworthy, reliable, devoted, and extremely intelligent. I would endeavor to give her stimulating companionship and emotional fulfillment ["happiness"] in all respects within my power. Permit me to explain the pertinent circumstances. Rated R. Contains explicit anatomical description and non-human sexual activity. Related Links: Steve's LiveJournal (cleaning updates) 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2007/06/21/ep111-mayfly/ http://escapepod.org/2007/06/21/ep111-mayfly/#comments Thu, 21 Jun 2007 09:15:37 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=222 http://escapepod.org/2007/06/21/ep111-mayfly/feed/ 18 28:25 By Heather Lindsley. Read by The Word Whore (of Air Out My Shorts). First appeared in Strange Horizons, September 2006. The reflection of what appears to be a ... By Heather Lindsley. Read by The Word Whore (of Air Out My Shorts). First appeared in Strange Horizons, September 2006. The reflection of what appears to be a girl of eleven looks back at me from the full-length mirror in the bedroom that was my mother's. Together we spit out yet another baby tooth, which reminds me I need to drink another calcium-enriched protein shake. Either that, or eat what remains of my mother. She's the pile of coarse dust scattered across the bedsheets. Some of my kind swear by mother dust, the way certain factions among the rest of the population swear by breast feeding. And there are benefits, whether you're still a kid with growing bones or an adult woman facing osteoporosis by the end of the week. But my mother is not strawberry-flavored, so I opt for the shake. Rated R. Contains sexual scenes and other deep biological imperatives. 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2007/05/17/ep106-the-house-beyond-your-sky/ http://escapepod.org/2007/05/17/ep106-the-house-beyond-your-sky/#comments Thu, 17 May 2007 19:31:05 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=216 http://escapepod.org/2007/05/17/ep106-the-house-beyond-your-sky/feed/ 27 38:50 2007 Hugo Nominee! By Benjamin Rosenbaum. Read by Paul Tevis (of Have Games Will Travel). First appeared in Strange Horizons, September 2006. The simulations, while good, are not impenetrable ... 2007 Hugo Nominee! By Benjamin Rosenbaum. Read by Paul Tevis (of Have Games Will Travel). First appeared in Strange Horizons, September 2006. The simulations, while good, are not impenetrable even to their own inhabitants. Scientists teaching baboons to sort blocks may notice that all other baboons become instantly better at block-sorting, revealing a high-level caching mechanism. Or engineers building their own virtual worlds may find they cannot use certain tricks of optimization and compressionsbquo;Auml;icirc;for Matthias has already used them. Only when the jig is up does Matthias reveal himself, asking each simulated soul: what now? Most accept Matthias's offer to graduate beyond the confines of their simulation, and join the general society of Matthias's house. You may regard them as bright parakeets, living in wicker cages with open doors. The cages are hung from the ceiling of the priest's clay hut. The parakeets flutter about the ceiling, visit each other, steal bread from the table, and comment on Matthias's doings. Rated R. Contains some profanity and child abuse. It's probably too complex for young children as well. Referenced Sites: Diversity in SF Markets (blog post by Tobias S. Buckell) Finis: A Book of Endings Nina Kimberly the Merciless SciFi Smackdown 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2007/03/29/ep099-start-the-clock/ http://escapepod.org/2007/03/29/ep099-start-the-clock/#comments Thu, 29 Mar 2007 08:00:19 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=205 http://escapepod.org/2007/03/29/ep099-start-the-clock/feed/ 24 41:20 By Benjamin Rosenbaum. Read by Chris Fisher (of The Adult Space Childfree Podcast). First appeared in The Magazine of Fantasy Science Fiction, August 2004. Frankly, we were ... By Benjamin Rosenbaum. Read by Chris Fisher (of The Adult Space Childfree Podcast). First appeared in The Magazine of Fantasy Science Fiction, August 2004. Frankly, we were excited. This move was what our Pack needed -- the four of us, at least, were sure of it. We were all tired of living in the ghetto -- we were in three twentieth-century townhouses in Billings, in an "age-mixed" area full of marauding Thirteens and Fourteens and Fifteens. Talk about a people damned by CDAS -- when the virus hit them, it had stuck their pituitaries and thyroids like throttles jammed open. It wasn't just the giantism and health problems caused by a thirty-year overdose on growth hormones, testosterone, estrogen, and androgen. They suffered more from their social problems -- criminality, violence, orgies, jealousy -- and their endless self-pity. Okay, Max liked them. And most of the rest of us had been at least entertained by living in the ghetto. At birthday parties, we could always shock the other Packs with our address. But that was when all eight of us were there, before Katrina and Ogbu went south. With eight of us, we'd felt like a full Pack -- invincible, strong enough to laugh at anyone. Rated R. Contains graphic sexual content and children who are a bit too grown up. Literally. Today's Sponsor: Referenced Sites: Contest: Name the Fantasy Podcast WHOIS Gateway Service 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2007/03/22/ep098-just-do-it/ http://escapepod.org/2007/03/22/ep098-just-do-it/#comments Thu, 22 Mar 2007 06:50:55 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=204 http://escapepod.org/2007/03/22/ep098-just-do-it/feed/ 34 39:00 By Heather Lindsley. Read by The Word Whore (of Air Out My Shorts). First appeared in The Magazine of Fantasy Science Fiction, July 2006. "What do you ... By Heather Lindsley. Read by The Word Whore (of Air Out My Shorts). First appeared in The Magazine of Fantasy Science Fiction, July 2006. "What do you see?" he asks. I want to say a menace, but instead I tap the delivery barrel and give the context-appropriate answer. "Unused ad space." Suddenly he's a schoolmaster who has finally found a bright pupil in a classroom full of dunces. "Exactly, Ms. Monroe. Exactly. No square millimeter wasted, that's what I say." He leans across the table and whispers conspiratorially, "We're looking at co-branding an AOL-Time-Warner-Starbucks Lattepaloosa Crave with a Forever Fitness session discount." Rated R. Contains sexual innuendo, advertising warfare, and better living through chemistry. 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2007/02/15/ep093-now-n-now-n/ http://escapepod.org/2007/02/15/ep093-now-n-now-n/#comments Thu, 15 Feb 2007 08:30:40 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=192 http://escapepod.org/2007/02/15/ep093-now-n-now-n/feed/ 33 00:01:01 By Robert Silverberg. Read by Stephen Eley. All had been so simple, so elegant, so profitable for ourselves. And then we met the lovely Selene and ... By Robert Silverberg. Read by Stephen Eley. All had been so simple, so elegant, so profitable for ourselves. And then we met the lovely Selene and nearly were undone. She came into our lives during our regular transmission hour on Wednesday, October 7, 1987, between six and seven P.M. Central European Time. The moneymaking hour. I was in satisfactory contact with myself and also with myself. (Now sbquo;Auml;igrave; n was due on the line first, and then I would hear from (now + n). Rated R. Contains sex, nudity, and explicit finance. 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2007/01/18/ep089-bean-there/ http://escapepod.org/2007/01/18/ep089-bean-there/#comments Thu, 18 Jan 2007 23:00:18 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=187 http://escapepod.org/2007/01/18/ep089-bean-there/feed/ 33 00:01:01 By Jack Skillingstead. Read by Jim Van Verth (of The Vintage Gamer). First appeared in Asimov's Science Fiction, April/May 2005. "You call it crazy," Aimee said. "I ... By Jack Skillingstead. Read by Jim Van Verth (of The Vintage Gamer). First appeared in Asimov's Science Fiction, April/May 2005. "You call it crazy," Aimee said. "I call it Evolution." With a capital E. The famous newsclip seen around the world. The aliens arrived neither as an invading force nor as beneficent galactic pals. By their own description they were 'Harbingers.' Famous network interviewer: "Harbingers of what?" Alien: "Evolution." Rated R. Contains sexual imagery and themes, and lots of caffeine. Today's Sponsor: 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2007/01/16/ep-flash-nightshift-in-the-automart/ http://escapepod.org/2007/01/16/ep-flash-nightshift-in-the-automart/#comments Wed, 17 Jan 2007 04:42:35 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=186 http://escapepod.org/2007/01/16/ep-flash-nightshift-in-the-automart/feed/ 14 00:01:01 By Andrew Gudgel. Read by Jared Axelrod (of The Voice of Free Planet X). The doors whooshed open and the Goddess Kali strode up to the counter. ... By Andrew Gudgel. Read by Jared Axelrod (of The Voice of Free Planet X). The doors whooshed open and the Goddess Kali strode up to the counter. She stopped in front of him, grinning wickedly. Straight platinum-blonde hair spilled down over her shoulders and high bare breasts, contrasting with her inky black skin. Jeremy noticed a necklace of tiny, perfectly-formed ceramic skulls hung around her neck. "Hi, Jeremy." "'Lo, Suzy." The Goddess Kali's eyes flashed red with anger. "Don't call me that!" Behind her, a whole pantheon wandered the aisles, looking for late-night snacks. Rated R. Contains partial nudity, some language, petty crime, and a few gods' names taken in vain. 17,and,Up,,Flash,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2007/01/11/ep088-blood-of-virgins/ http://escapepod.org/2007/01/11/ep088-blood-of-virgins/#comments Thu, 11 Jan 2007 18:22:25 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=184 http://escapepod.org/2007/01/11/ep088-blood-of-virgins/feed/ 24 00:01:01 By David Barr Kirtley. Read by Stephen Eley. Other dragons cavorted on the airy currents. Those dragons were cherry red or lime green or creamy brown. Their ... By David Barr Kirtley. Read by Stephen Eley. Other dragons cavorted on the airy currents. Those dragons were cherry red or lime green or creamy brown. Their riders steered them up the beach, or inland toward the mall, or back to campus. A slender girl on a pink dragon passed us going the opposite way, her blond hair billowing. Matt waved to her. He said over his shoulder, "I met that girl last night. Hold on, I want to say hi." He yanked the reins and we banked sharply. My stomach lurched. We swept around in an arc and came up alongside the girl. Her dragon had the guileless beady eyes and scrunched up cheeks of a lap dog. Matt said, "Hi. Dora, right?" "Deirdre," she corrected. "And you're ... Matt?" He grinned, and she said, "I like your dragon." Rated R. Contains sexual themes, third-world exploitation, and awkward freshmen. Referenced sites: Foster on Film (Pre-screening giveaway) 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2007/01/04/ep087-authorwerx/ http://escapepod.org/2007/01/04/ep087-authorwerx/#comments Thu, 04 Jan 2007 21:41:12 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=181 http://escapepod.org/2007/01/04/ep087-authorwerx/feed/ 14 00:01:01 By Greg van Eekhout. Read by Stephen Eley. I launched into my next bit, which I'd rehearsed that morning on the tram. "What I liked about your ... By Greg van Eekhout. Read by Stephen Eley. I launched into my next bit, which I'd rehearsed that morning on the tram. "What I liked about your stories is that you never knew where they were going. It'd start off as a World War II military adventure, but then it would wind up being about android worms from another dimension out to steal Earth's dirt. It's like other writers' stories are bridges: There's a beginning, there's an end, and it's a pretty straight shot through. It might be a long bridge, or curvy, maybe, so you can't quite see the ending coming. But the trip basically makes sense. Your stories were different, though. You always blew up your bridges halfway across, and you'd have to swim for the banks, and you'd end up on some rock with weird lizards." On the verge of laughter, he looked at me. "You're kidding, right?" Rated R. Contains profanity and a disturbing resemblance to Philip K. Dick. Referenced sites: Eley's writing progress New forums (finally!) 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2006/12/28/ep086-when-we-went-to-see-the-end-of-the-world/ http://escapepod.org/2006/12/28/ep086-when-we-went-to-see-the-end-of-the-world/#comments Thu, 28 Dec 2006 19:42:54 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=179 http://escapepod.org/2006/12/28/ep086-when-we-went-to-see-the-end-of-the-world/feed/ 24 00:01:01 By Robert Silverberg. Read by J.C. Hutchins (of The 7th Son Trilogy). Mike offered Nick some pot. "That's really something," he said. "To have gone ... By Robert Silverberg. Read by J.C. Hutchins (of The 7th Son Trilogy). Mike offered Nick some pot. "That's really something," he said. "To have gone to the end of the world. Hey, Ruby, maybe we'll talk to the travel agent about it." Nick took a deep drag and passed the joint to Jane. He felt pleased with himself about the way he had told the story. They had all been very impressed. That swollen red sun, that scuttling crab. The trip had cost more than a month in Japan, but it had been a good investment. He and Jane were the first in the neighborhood who had gone. That was important. Rated R. Contains drugs, swinging, and frequent gratuitous apocalypses. Referenced sites: Podiobooks.com Starship Sofa (incl.: Robert Silverberg) 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2006/12/21/ep085-merry-christmas-from-the-heartbreakers/ http://escapepod.org/2006/12/21/ep085-merry-christmas-from-the-heartbreakers/#comments Thu, 21 Dec 2006 07:00:40 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=178 http://escapepod.org/2006/12/21/ep085-merry-christmas-from-the-heartbreakers/feed/ 18 00:01:01 By Mur Lafferty. Read by Stephen and Anna Eley. Musical guest: Twisted Sister. "Look, I think I know where this is going," Kris Kringle said, but Gingermuffin cut ... By Mur Lafferty. Read by Stephen and Anna Eley. Musical guest: Twisted Sister. "Look, I think I know where this is going," Kris Kringle said, but Gingermuffin cut him off. "Do you? The Heartbreakers have been making Tom Petty sound good for years, and no one gives a damn. Tom Petty gets all of the credit." Kris wondered if he was sober enough to have this discussion. "You're not talking about Tom Petty." Gingermuffin slammed his hand down on the table. "Damn right I'm not!" Kris's carefully stacked poker chips fell over in a clatter of Christmas. Rated R. Contains profanity, violence, and the puncturing of childhood myths. Merry Christmas! Referenced sites: Reading is Fundamental Child's Play I Should Be Writing Geek Fu Action Grip Podsafe Music Network (Terms of Use) 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2006/12/14/ep084-smooth-talking/ http://escapepod.org/2006/12/14/ep084-smooth-talking/#comments Thu, 14 Dec 2006 06:13:49 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=177 http://escapepod.org/2006/12/14/ep084-smooth-talking/feed/ 36 00:01:01 By Tobias S. Buckell. Read by Steve Anderson (SGA Creative and Great Tales Live). Roger sighed, shifted his position on the stump, and then turned back away ... By Tobias S. Buckell. Read by Steve Anderson (SGA Creative and Great Tales Live). Roger sighed, shifted his position on the stump, and then turned back away from Marcus. "What I'm trying to do, Marcus, is talk that tree into moving." Marcus didn't say anything. He stood behind someone he thought he once knew and tried to figure what to say next. Not a man normally tied for words, Marcus found himself in the very surreal position of being speechless. Rated R. For profanity and somewhat wooden anatomical descriptions. Today's Sponsor: 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2006/11/16/ep080-union-dues-cleanup-in-aisle-five/ http://escapepod.org/2006/11/16/ep080-union-dues-cleanup-in-aisle-five/#comments Thu, 16 Nov 2006 08:50:30 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=170 http://escapepod.org/2006/11/16/ep080-union-dues-cleanup-in-aisle-five/feed/ 33 00:01:01 By Jeffrey R. DeRego. Discuss on our forums. Read by Rich Sigfrit (of Requiem of the Outcast and Amazing Pulp Adventures). All stories by Jeffrey R. DeRego All stories ... By Jeffrey R. DeRego. Discuss on our forums. Read by Rich Sigfrit (of Requiem of the Outcast and Amazing Pulp Adventures). All stories by Jeffrey R. DeRego All stories read by Rich Sigfrit "Which one are you?" The kid fans out a small stack of super hero trading cards, but it's not a Union deck. Figures. "Lemme see what you got there." I flip through and remember my old baseball card collection. I knew there was something special about me, when at nine-years-old, I accurately calculated the probable batting stats of each player, on every team, in the 1996 season after opening only one pack. The Union recruited me five years later after my dad beat a couple of Atlantic City casinos for ten million bucks. I was caught on security camera tape telling him when and how to bet at the roulette wheel. "These don't look like you." The card displays a blue-costumed man leaping between buildings. I hand it back to him. "Those guys aren't real, but I am." Wow. Did I just say that? Maybe I'll tell the kid that Santa and the Easter Bunny aren't real either. He's staring at me now, I can almost see his little brain struggling to make sense of my answer. I should tell him to buy Union Cards but, you know, he's five. Rated R. Contains profanity, some violence involving children, and retail corporate exploitation. Union Dues Stories: EP027: Iron Bars and the Glass Jaw EP049: Off White Lies EP062: The Baby and the Bathwater 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2006/10/31/ep-flash-act-of-devil/ http://escapepod.org/2006/10/31/ep-flash-act-of-devil/#comments Tue, 31 Oct 2006 06:30:52 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=166 http://escapepod.org/2006/10/31/ep-flash-act-of-devil/feed/ 22 00:01:01 By Paul S. Jenkins. (of The Rev Up Review). Read by Mur Lafferty (of Geek Fu Action Grip). There was a group of them at college who ... By Paul S. Jenkins. (of The Rev Up Review). Read by Mur Lafferty (of Geek Fu Action Grip). There was a group of them at college who were into Satanism. My mom, Betty Bloxham as she was then, was one of them. It all sounds a bit kinky, going into the woods at dead of night and dancing in the nude under the full moon. Anyway, they were all high on drugs at the time, so I doubt they knew what they were doing. Rated R. Contains sexual violence, Satanic summonings, and similar wholesome family bonding. 17,and,Up,,Flash,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2006/10/26/ep077-a-single-shadow/ http://escapepod.org/2006/10/26/ep077-a-single-shadow/#comments Thu, 26 Oct 2006 08:38:23 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=164 http://escapepod.org/2006/10/26/ep077-a-single-shadow/feed/ 27 00:01:01 By Stephen Dedman. Read by Benjamin Grundy (of Mysterious Universe). "I suppose you think we turn into cats and foxes when your back is turned?" I smiled. "Only ... By Stephen Dedman. Read by Benjamin Grundy (of Mysterious Universe). "I suppose you think we turn into cats and foxes when your back is turned?" I smiled. "Only some of you - you, for example. You're much too beautiful to be human, but you could be a cat, a flower, a tree - no, scratch that one, you're too short." I glanced at Hiroshi. "Maybe Shimako's the tree-spirit," I said, softly. Hiroshi ignored me, but Miyume covered her mouth and laughed. "I assure you, I'm quite human," she said. "I don't doubt that Shimako is, too. And how many girls have you used that line on, before?" Rated R. Contains explicit sexual content. And ghosts. Explicit sexual ghosts, really. Referenced Sites: Retrieval Detachment 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2006/10/19/ep076-the-dinner-game/ http://escapepod.org/2006/10/19/ep076-the-dinner-game/#comments Thu, 19 Oct 2006 07:48:19 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=163 http://escapepod.org/2006/10/19/ep076-the-dinner-game/feed/ 80 00:01:01 By Stephen Eley. Read by Maia Whitaker (of Knitwitch's SciFi/Fantasy Zone) "Do I know you?" she says. "I remember you," he says, and she smiles. It's ... By Stephen Eley. Read by Maia Whitaker (of Knitwitch's SciFi/Fantasy Zone) "Do I know you?" she says. "I remember you," he says, and she smiles. It's another game. He has been a spy fleeing his country. She has been an adulterous First Lady. They have been psychiatrist and schizophrenic; vampire and victim; two blind people speculating on the world they cannot see. They will make love as themselves when they leave the Rose for a room upstairs, and tomorrow he will finish his business and leave her city. But first they dine as other people. Rated R. Contains sex, violence, sacrilege, and other epic necessities. Referenced sites: Twenty Epics (Amazon link) Twenty Epics (PDF download) Silent Universe 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2006/10/12/ep075-nano-comes-to-clifford-falls/ http://escapepod.org/2006/10/12/ep075-nano-comes-to-clifford-falls/#comments Thu, 12 Oct 2006 11:00:24 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=162 http://escapepod.org/2006/10/12/ep075-nano-comes-to-clifford-falls/feed/ 45 00:01:01 By Nancy Kress. Read by Martha Holloway (of the ADD Cast and Podiobooks Pro) "I like the taste of home-grown tomatoes," I tell him. "Ones at ... By Nancy Kress. Read by Martha Holloway (of the ADD Cast and Podiobooks Pro) "I like the taste of home-grown tomatoes," I tell him. "Ones at the Safeway taste like wallpaper." "But nano won't make tomatoes that taste processed," he says in that way that men like to correct women. "That machinery will make the best tomatoes this town ever tasted." "Well, I hope you're right." Then Will and Kimee spilled their fight out through the screen door into the back yard, and Jackie started whimpering on his blanket, and I didn't have no time for any nanomachinery. Rated R. Contains violence, brief sexual violence, and minor profanity. Today's Sponsor: Referenced sites: "The Coming Technological Singularity," by Vernor Vinge 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2006/10/05/ep074-paradox-greenblatt-attorneys-at-law/ http://escapepod.org/2006/10/05/ep074-paradox-greenblatt-attorneys-at-law/#comments Thu, 05 Oct 2006 05:52:35 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=161 http://escapepod.org/2006/10/05/ep074-paradox-greenblatt-attorneys-at-law/feed/ 24 00:01:01 By Kevin J. Anderson. Read by J.C. Hutchins (of the 7th Son podcast novels) "The man talked a mile a minute in a thin, squeaky voice; even ... By Kevin J. Anderson. Read by J.C. Hutchins (of the 7th Son podcast novels) "The man talked a mile a minute in a thin, squeaky voice; even if he hadn't been panicked, it probably would have sounded unpleasant. "All I did was try to stop him from buying her some deep-fried artichoke hearts. How could that be construed as attempted murder? They can't pin anything on me, can they? Why would they think I was trying to kill anybody?" "Maybe you'd better tell me, Mr. . . . uh?" "Hendergast. Lionel Hendergast. And I read the terms of the contract very carefully before we went back in time. It didn't say anything about deep-fried artichoke hearts." Rated R. Contains some profanity and explicit sexual imagery. Today's Sponsor: Referenced sites: The Rookie by Scott Sigler 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2006/09/21/ep072-joe-steele/ http://escapepod.org/2006/09/21/ep072-joe-steele/#comments Thu, 21 Sep 2006 21:30:38 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=159 http://escapepod.org/2006/09/21/ep072-joe-steele/feed/ 39 00:01:01 (Update 9/24: Many of you will probably get a duplicate download. This time it's deliberate. I had requested permission to play Janis ... (Update 9/24: Many of you will probably get a duplicate download. This time it's deliberate. I had requested permission to play Janis Ian's song, "God and the FBI," but she was touring Europe and didn't get my e-mail in time. She just responded and graciously gave me permission, so I'm revising the file and including it at the end. If you don't want to hear the whole story again, just skip forward 41 minutes. Thank you, Janis!) By Harry Turtledove. (Inspired by the song "God the FBI" by Janis Ian, published by Windham Hill. Song included with Janis Ian's permission.) Read by Stephen Eley. Two men left. Franklin D. Roosevelt. D for Delano, mind. Governor of New York. Cousin to Teddy Roosevelt. Already ran for Vice President once. Didn't win. Cigarette holder. Jaunty angle. Wheelchair. Paralysis. Anguish. Courage. As near an aristocrat as America grows. Franklin D. Roosevelt. D for Delano. And Joe Steele. Joe Steele. Congressman from California. Not San Francisco. Not Nob Hill. Good Lord, no. Fresno. Farm country. That great valley, squeezed by mountains east and west. Not a big fellow, Joe Steele. Stands real straight, so you don't notice too much. Mustache, a good-sized one. Thick head of hair just starting to go gray. Eyelids like shutters. When they go down and then come up again, you can't see what was behind them. Rated R. Contains profanity and strong political themes. Not happy politics, like we have today. 1930s politics. Referenced sites: Wikipedia: Alternate history AlternateHistory.com "If Lee Had Not Won the Civil War," by Winston Churchill Today in Alternate History (by Robbie Taylor) Bring the Jubilee, by Ward Moore Turtledove Wiki 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2006/09/14/ep071-the-capo-of-darkness/ http://escapepod.org/2006/09/14/ep071-the-capo-of-darkness/#comments Thu, 14 Sep 2006 12:08:12 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=158 http://escapepod.org/2006/09/14/ep071-the-capo-of-darkness/feed/ 20 00:01:01 By Laura Resnick. Read by Evo Terra (of The Dragon Page) and Sheila Unwin (of The Dragon Page With Class). Eve looked startled. "You used to be ... By Laura Resnick. Read by Evo Terra (of The Dragon Page) and Sheila Unwin (of The Dragon Page With Class). Eve looked startled. "You used to be in Heaven? And now you're working for the Lord of Flies?" "He don't go by that title no more. He didn't like the novel, thought it showed him in a bad light. And don't call him sbquo;Auml;ograve;Beelzebub,' neither," I advised, figuring it wouldn't hurt to give these underdressed kids a little help. "He's gotten real sensitive about it. He thinks it makes him sound like a character in an English comedy." Rated R. Contains religious satire, gangster satire, and profanity. Not for those who take their hellfire too seriously. Referenced sites: Destructomundo 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2006/08/31/ep069-her/ http://escapepod.org/2006/08/31/ep069-her/#comments Thu, 31 Aug 2006 22:17:35 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=156 http://escapepod.org/2006/08/31/ep069-her/feed/ 37 00:01:01 By Tobias S. Buckell. Read by Stephen Eley. "It's fascinating," Jo said, now that she had what she wanted out of me, "that the inhabitants here are ... By Tobias S. Buckell. Read by Stephen Eley. "It's fascinating," Jo said, now that she had what she wanted out of me, "that the inhabitants here are the only race we know of that has their mythology dead on." "Huh?" I looked down at the table. I needed more beer. "They believe they live on the corpse of a giant." "Maybe it's because they do," I said, sneaking another look back down the inner thigh that dominated the western hemisphere. Rated R. Contains explicit anatomical imagery. On a very large scale. Referenced sites: Podrunner Podcast Daily Dragon Podcast Dragon*Con: Atlanta, GA, September 1--4 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2006/08/24/ep068-depth-of-field/ http://escapepod.org/2006/08/24/ep068-depth-of-field/#comments Thu, 24 Aug 2006 07:20:30 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=154 http://escapepod.org/2006/08/24/ep068-depth-of-field/feed/ 10 00:01:01 By Stephen Dedman. Read by Jonathon Sullivan. One of the governor's advisers had recommended appointing a committee of science fiction writers to investigate the saucer sightings as ... By Stephen Dedman. Read by Jonathon Sullivan. One of the governor's advisers had recommended appointing a committee of science fiction writers to investigate the saucer sightings as a way of diverting the public, and the governor had agreed. However, as none of the selection committee were SF readers, Project Birdwatch was dominated by screenwriters, writer-directors, writer-director-producers, and the occasional typecast actor. Few of them were brilliant, but they knew one side of a television camera from the other, and at least none of them had been blacklisted. The novelists and short story writers who had joined Birdwatch had soon given up in disgust. Ed had signed up for the same reasons as most of the others; the possibility of publicity, and the badly-needed fifty dollars a month. Besides, seven pretty blonde women had been abducted, and someone was responsible! Rated R. Contains profanity, brief scenes of graphic violence, and questionable filmmaking. Referenced sites: Worldcon 2006: Anaheim, CA, August 23--27 Dragon*Con: Atlanta, GA, September 1--4 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2006/08/21/ep-review-full-metal-yakuza-robocop-and-other-frankensteins/ http://escapepod.org/2006/08/21/ep-review-full-metal-yakuza-robocop-and-other-frankensteins/#comments Tue, 22 Aug 2006 01:23:04 +0000 Sullydog http://escapepod.org/?p=153 http://escapepod.org/2006/08/21/ep-review-full-metal-yakuza-robocop-and-other-frankensteins/feed/ 75 00:01:01 EP Review: Full Metal Yakuza, Robocop and Other Frankensteins. The Science Fiction Podcast Magazine. Each week Escape Pod delivers science fiction short stories from todayapos;s best authors. Listen today, and hear the new sound of science fiction! 17,and,Up,,Podcasts,,Reviews Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2006/08/17/ep067-life-in-stone/ http://escapepod.org/2006/08/17/ep067-life-in-stone/#comments Thu, 17 Aug 2006 08:47:55 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=151 http://escapepod.org/2006/08/17/ep067-life-in-stone/feed/ 11 00:01:01 By Tim Pratt. Read by Stephen Eley. All stories by Tim Pratt. All stories read by Stephen Eley. After ascending 72 flights of iron stairs, creeping past tentacled sentinels ... By Tim Pratt. Read by Stephen Eley. All stories by Tim Pratt. All stories read by Stephen Eley. After ascending 72 flights of iron stairs, creeping past tentacled sentinels lurking in pools filled with black water, and silently dispatching wizened old warriors armed with glaives and morningstars that proved a close match for his pistols and poisoned glass knives, Mr. Zealand at last stumbled into the uppermost room of Archibald Grace's invisible tower. All Zealand's earlier murders were mere journeyman work compared to this final assassination, the murder of a man who'd lived for untold centuries, who'd come to America and enslaved Buffalo spirits, who'd built this tower of ice and iron on the far side of the Rockies as a sanctuary and stronghold for his own precious life. Rated R. Contains strong violent imagery, some sexual content, and themes of immor(t)ality. Referenced sites: Invasion: The Complete Series on DVD Obsidian River Spaceship Radio Decoder Ring Theatre - Main Site Decoder Ring Theatre - Podcast Site Sonic Society - Main Site Sonic Society - Podcast Site Amazing Pulp Adventures Pseudopod - The Sound of Horror Worldcon 2006: Anaheim, CA, August 23--27 Dragon*Con: Atlanta, GA, September 1--4 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2006/07/20/ep063-observations-from-the-city-of-angels/ http://escapepod.org/2006/07/20/ep063-observations-from-the-city-of-angels/#comments Thu, 20 Jul 2006 12:01:42 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=144 http://escapepod.org/2006/07/20/ep063-observations-from-the-city-of-angels/feed/ 23 00:01:01 By William Shunn. Read by Stephen Eley. "It's not just that, Brian. Think about this technology. The experiment's been successful beyond anyone's expectations. Spyware fittings for registered offenders ... By William Shunn. Read by Stephen Eley. "It's not just that, Brian. Think about this technology. The experiment's been successful beyond anyone's expectations. Spyware fittings for registered offenders will no doubt go into effect next year. But why stop there? Can you imagine having a therapist, a financial counselor, a social secretary, a nutritionist and personal trainer at your beck and call twenty- four hours a day? You'd like to get rid of that spare tire, right? We could help you. Really." Hayes shivers, though the climate inside the car is perfectly controlled. "Sure," he says. "And I could have the whole world watching everything I do, for the rest of my life." Rated R. Contains profanity and sexual themes. Referenced sites: Guild Wars The ShunnCast EP BitTorrent Archive 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2006/07/13/ep062-union-dues-the-baby-and-the-bathwater/ http://escapepod.org/2006/07/13/ep062-union-dues-the-baby-and-the-bathwater/#comments Thu, 13 Jul 2006 09:29:35 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=143 http://escapepod.org/2006/07/13/ep062-union-dues-the-baby-and-the-bathwater/feed/ 15 00:01:01 By Jeffrey R. DeRego. Read by Mur Lafferty (of I Should Be Writing and Geek Fu Action Grip) All stories by Jeffrey R. DeRego It's never really dawned ... By Jeffrey R. DeRego. Read by Mur Lafferty (of I Should Be Writing and Geek Fu Action Grip) All stories by Jeffrey R. DeRego It's never really dawned on me that the brochures manage to beautifully portray events and activities I've never seen as long as I've worn the tights and mask. The brochures don't show the InterCity cops taking pot-shots at our Jump Jets, they don't show the protestors outside a school when Landaar makes and appearance, or the new recruits worked to the physical breaking point for a year before they are even allowed third string uniform status, they don't show how we didn't put out the fire or didn't rescue the family. But since when has a marketing campaign ever focused on truth and reality? Rated R. Contains profanity and... Well, profanity. Referenced sites: Union Dues - Iron Bars and the Glass Jaw Union Dues - Off White Lies Pseudopod Submission Guidelines 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2006/07/06/ep061-i-look-forward-to-remembering-you/ http://escapepod.org/2006/07/06/ep061-i-look-forward-to-remembering-you/#comments Thu, 06 Jul 2006 09:39:32 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=142 http://escapepod.org/2006/07/06/ep061-i-look-forward-to-remembering-you/feed/ 46 00:01:01 By Mur Lafferty. Read by Daisy Ottmann, Anna Eley, and Stephen Eley. She smiled at last and gave a satisfied little sigh. He was just as she'd ... By Mur Lafferty. Read by Daisy Ottmann, Anna Eley, and Stephen Eley. She smiled at last and gave a satisfied little sigh. He was just as she'd ordered. Without raising her eyes to his face, she asked, "So when do we begin?" "We just have some paperwork to go over," he said. He bent over to pick up his bathrobe and Susan stared as his muscles flexed. Kevin slipped the robe on with the slow grace of someone who was unashamed of his nakedness. "Once we take care of that, I'll go back to headquarters and take my trip back to 1992, find your younger self, and seduce her." Rated R. Contains profanity, sexual content, and nonlinear temporal prostitution. Referenced sites: David Drake: Obituary of Jim Baen John Ringo: Letter to Jim Baen Baen Free Library Baen Webscriptions The World Turned Upside Down Not Done Living 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2006/06/15/ep-058-shadowboxer/ http://escapepod.org/2006/06/15/ep-058-shadowboxer/#comments Thu, 15 Jun 2006 16:00:08 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=135 http://escapepod.org/2006/06/15/ep-058-shadowboxer/feed/ 22 00:01:01 (Technical Note: To everyone who caught the incomplete file this morning -- my deep apologies. The upload got cut off and I failed ... (Technical Note: To everyone who caught the incomplete file this morning -- my deep apologies. The upload got cut off and I failed to test properly. Here's the full version.) By Paul Di Filippo. Read by Scott Fletcher (of Podcheck Review). Musical guest: Andy Guthrie. Generally speaking, I need only three minutes of concentrated attention to kill someone by staring at them. If I'm feeling under the weather, or my mind is preoccupied with other matters--you know how your mind can obsess about trivial things sometimes--it might take five minutes for my power to have its effect. On the other hand, if I focus intensely on my victim I can get the job done in as little as ninety seconds. ...Now the nation is at war. Or so we're told. I guess that changes everything. A person like me becomes much more important. Rated R. Contains violence, some sexual content, and disturbing themes. Referenced sites: Podsafe Music Network 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2006/06/08/ep057-chuckles-mulrooney-attorney-for-the-damned/ http://escapepod.org/2006/06/08/ep057-chuckles-mulrooney-attorney-for-the-damned/#comments Thu, 08 Jun 2006 08:54:46 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=133 http://escapepod.org/2006/06/08/ep057-chuckles-mulrooney-attorney-for-the-damned/feed/ 16 00:01:01 By Scott Sigler. Read by Preston Buttons (of Air Out My Shorts). After a decade of ceaseless writing struggle, Satan had come to him in sbquo;Auml;igrave; of ... By Scott Sigler. Read by Preston Buttons (of Air Out My Shorts). After a decade of ceaseless writing struggle, Satan had come to him in sbquo;Auml;igrave; of all places sbquo;Auml;igrave; the soup aisle at Meijer's grocery store. There was no fire and brimstone, no tail, no horns, not even that cool hipster pointy goatee the devil always sported in the movies. He was actually kind of fat, and wore a three-piece suit with Gucci shoes. He didn't look at all like Satan -- he looked more like Dom Delouise posing as a lawyer. Rated R. Contains profanity, violence, clowns, and violence against profane clowns. Referenced sites: Infection - A Podcast Novel 2006 Hugo Ballot 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2006/06/01/ep056-the-clockwork-atom-bomb/ http://escapepod.org/2006/06/01/ep056-the-clockwork-atom-bomb/#comments Thu, 01 Jun 2006 08:00:22 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=131 http://escapepod.org/2006/06/01/ep056-the-clockwork-atom-bomb/feed/ 17 00:01:01 By Dominic Green. Read by Dr. Jonathon Sullivan. The wind in here was deafening. The girl had to shout. "THERE IS MORE THAN ONE IN ... By Dominic Green. Read by Dr. Jonathon Sullivan. The wind in here was deafening. The girl had to shout. "THERE IS MORE THAN ONE IN HERE. THEY LIVE IN THE MACHINES. THE GOVERNMENT MADE THE MACHINES, BUT NOT WITH TECHNICIANS AND ELECTRICIANS. WITH SORCERY." The machines did not look made by sorcery. They were entirely silent, looking like rows of gigantic, rusted steel chess pawns twice the height of a man, with no pipes or wires entering or leaving them, apparently sitting here unused for any purpose. Mativi felt an urgent, entirely rational need to be in an another line of employment. Rated R. Contains profanity and some violence. Referenced sites: 2006 Hugo Nominees The Balticon Podcast Michael Evo's Slice of SciFi Rock Roll Monster Bash 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2006/05/04/ep052-single-white-farmhouse/ http://escapepod.org/2006/05/04/ep052-single-white-farmhouse/#comments Thu, 04 May 2006 09:49:17 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=117 http://escapepod.org/2006/05/04/ep052-single-white-farmhouse/feed/ 13 00:01:01 By Heather Shaw. Read by The Word Whore. Discuss on our forums. All stories by Heather Shaw All stories read by The Word Whore The house consented to the wiring, ... By Heather Shaw. Read by The Word Whore. Discuss on our forums. All stories by Heather Shaw All stories read by The Word Whore The house consented to the wiring, and as soon as it was done she explored it carefully, like you or I would poke at a new tooth filling. Wasn't long before any unused terminal would be flashing from her zooms around the internet. New bookmarks were always appearing in the browser files -- architecture sites, construction sites, even some redecorating, _Better Homes and Gardens_-type sites were piling up in the history. Dad was disgusted by this -- called it "house porn," which made me and my brother giggle. Rated R. Contains strong language and home... Oh, erotica. Referenced sites: EP on LiveJournal EP on MySpace 2006 Hugo Nominees Balticon Escape Pod Classic 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2006/04/27/ep051-is-you-isis-you-aint/ http://escapepod.org/2006/04/27/ep051-is-you-isis-you-aint/#comments Thu, 27 Apr 2006 10:00:26 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=116 http://escapepod.org/2006/04/27/ep051-is-you-isis-you-aint/feed/ 6 00:01:01 By Michael Canfield. Read by Evo Terra. I won't kid you, the main reason I contracted to upload this ... By Michael Canfield. Read by Evo Terra. I won't kid you, the main reason I contracted to upload this biography is the money. I want a way out of my baby body--expensive surgery. Thank you for buying this link: even if you don't like what I have to say, you've helped an old actor out. I'm told the public will not buy a starbio uplink unless there is a tragedy involved--and a triumph. Rated R. Contains profanity, sexual situations, and Hollywood actors. None of which are suitable for children. Referenced sites: Escape Pod Classic Balticon Escape Archive 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2006/04/13/ep049-union-dues-off-white-lies/ http://escapepod.org/2006/04/13/ep049-union-dues-off-white-lies/#comments Thu, 13 Apr 2006 10:00:20 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=114 http://escapepod.org/2006/04/13/ep049-union-dues-off-white-lies/feed/ 11 00:01:01 By Jeffrey R. DeRego. Read by Scott Sigler. All stories by Jeffrey R. DeRego "Leave," she said calmly, "just go. A recruiting visit was here just three weeks ... By Jeffrey R. DeRego. Read by Scott Sigler. All stories by Jeffrey R. DeRego "Leave," she said calmly, "just go. A recruiting visit was here just three weeks ago and they had no success. The people here don't much like the Union. Hell, it took me almost a year before any of them would even speak to me, and I didn't try to razzle-dazzle them." She quickly scanned the list and produced folders matching each name. "Here," she said and slid them across the desk, "but they won't go with you." The Union tries very hard to get all Supers to sign on and become active members, but some simply won't. This is the first Village, and already The Union is constructing others. Either the mutation rate is rising among the Normals, or we're getting better at ferreting them out. Either way, we need more space. Rated R. Contains graphic violence, mature themes, and some profanity. Referenced sites: Viable Paradise Escape Pod Feedback Update: The first Union Dues story (thanks, Aaron!) 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2006/03/23/ep046-natural-order/ http://escapepod.org/2006/03/23/ep046-natural-order/#comments Thu, 23 Mar 2006 11:20:12 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=110 http://escapepod.org/2006/03/23/ep046-natural-order/feed/ 8 00:01:01 By Michael Jasper. Read by Steve Dupont. Missy downshifted as she pulled into the median of the interstate to avoid the state troopers ... By Michael Jasper. Read by Steve Dupont. Missy downshifted as she pulled into the median of the interstate to avoid the state troopers and the mess of traffic-snarled cars attempting to leave the coast too late. I tried not to look at the panicked faces inside the cars, lit by the headlights of those behind them. All waiting to escape the storm. Just like us, but powerless to move -- to phase, if needed -- the way we did. Sucking on the cigarette, I slid lower onto the wornout springs of the back seat. Slowly I pulled my gaze away from those we were leaving behind. One thing I learned from Oklahoma: if I thought about the people too much, I'd be worthless. Rated R. Contains graphic violent imagery, intense themes of natural and man-made disasters, and incidental profanity. Not one of our lighter stories. Referenced sites: "B for Betrayal" (an essay by William Richter) Bound By Law? (a comic from Duke University) T. Barnabus WigWiggins (a celebrity puppet author) EP Review Guidelines 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2006/02/16/ep041-ambient-sleaze/ http://escapepod.org/2006/02/16/ep041-ambient-sleaze/#comments Thu, 16 Feb 2006 14:30:57 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=102 http://escapepod.org/2006/02/16/ep041-ambient-sleaze/feed/ 8 00:01:01 By Jeffrey R. DeRego. Read by Mur Lafferty (of Geek Fu Action Grip). "Good god, who'd do something like that?" Sarah rummaged through her purse for a ... By Jeffrey R. DeRego. Read by Mur Lafferty (of Geek Fu Action Grip). "Good god, who'd do something like that?" Sarah rummaged through her purse for a handkerchief but couldn't seem to focus on the task. Her mind was consumed with images of Tony's perforated body. "Well, I've seen the Tony Autumn Show, so we've got an APB out on everyone with a sense of moral decency and every freak, transvestite, midget wrestler, incestuous dad, jilted lover..." Rated R. Contains profanity, some physical violence, and violence against dignity. 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2006/01/05/ep035-hero/ http://escapepod.org/2006/01/05/ep035-hero/#comments Thu, 05 Jan 2006 10:15:35 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=90 http://escapepod.org/2006/01/05/ep035-hero/feed/ 4 00:01:01 By Scott Sigler. Read by Stephen Eley. There is no defense against a perfect weapon. The perfect weapon is cunning, calculating and ruthless. I am all of these things. There ... By Scott Sigler. Read by Stephen Eley. There is no defense against a perfect weapon. The perfect weapon is cunning, calculating and ruthless. I am all of these things. There is no defense against me. The words would die with him, for he was the last. Five centuries of tradition would fade from existence, probably as soon as he killed Timmerman. But that didn't matter, not as long as Timmerman died this day. Poetic justice is all the more eloquent with your enemy's brains cooked a crispy-brown. Rated R. Contains profanity, violence, and poor life priorities. Referenced sites: SciFiction PodcasterCon Escape Pod CD Offer 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2005/12/31/ep-review-aeon-flux/ http://escapepod.org/2005/12/31/ep-review-aeon-flux/#comments Sat, 31 Dec 2005 22:42:55 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=88 http://escapepod.org/2005/12/31/ep-review-aeon-flux/feed/ 1 00:01:01 A film by Karyn Kusama. Reviewed by Jonathon Sullivan. A film by Karyn Kusama. Reviewed by Jonathon Sullivan. 17,and,Up,,Podcasts,,Reviews Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2005/12/24/ep-flash-night-off/ http://escapepod.org/2005/12/24/ep-flash-night-off/#comments Sat, 24 Dec 2005 07:12:34 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=86 http://escapepod.org/2005/12/24/ep-flash-night-off/feed/ 2 00:01:01 By Jason Erik Lundberg. Read by Stephen Eley. The fat man coughed again and rolled over onto his side. He wheezed and his lungs rattled. A few thousand ... By Jason Erik Lundberg. Read by Stephen Eley. The fat man coughed again and rolled over onto his side. He wheezed and his lungs rattled. A few thousand years of being overweight had caused innumerable cardiac and respiratory problems, but the job demanded it. "Who can you think of to cover you?" The fat man pondered for a moment, then said, "Lo ho ho?" His wife frowned. "You know Loki would just cause a mess, and probably light some children on fire. Who else?" Rated R. Contains profanity and some disturbing imagery. (Note: Mr. Lundberg has directed that his payment for this story be directed toward Heifer International, providing impoverished people with animals and other resources to become economically self-sustaining.) 17,and,Up,,Flash,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2005/12/22/ep033-santa-in-my-pocket/ http://escapepod.org/2005/12/22/ep033-santa-in-my-pocket/#comments Thu, 22 Dec 2005 05:01:47 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=85 http://escapepod.org/2005/12/22/ep033-santa-in-my-pocket/feed/ 12 00:01:01 By Mur Lafferty. Read by Anna Eley. When I was a kid, I believed it all, like that old wive's tale that animals would be granted the gift ... By Mur Lafferty. Read by Anna Eley. When I was a kid, I believed it all, like that old wive's tale that animals would be granted the gift of speech for one hour on Christmas Eve. I tested that out by keeping my cat locked up in my room with me all night. She never spoke, but she did piss in the corner, since she couldn't get to her litter box. So she still told me a magical Christmas message, loud and clear. Rated R. Contains profanity, sexual situations, and criminal intent. Merry Christmas! 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2005/12/15/ep032-alien-animal-encounters/ http://escapepod.org/2005/12/15/ep032-alien-animal-encounters/#comments Thu, 15 Dec 2005 08:11:35 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=84 http://escapepod.org/2005/12/15/ep032-alien-animal-encounters/feed/ 8 00:01:01 By John Scalzi. Read by Stephen Eley, Anna Eley, Scott Janssens, Deborah Green, Jonathon Sullivan and Marilyn Fuller. Ted McPeak, Community College Student, Jersey City: Some friends and ... By John Scalzi. Read by Stephen Eley, Anna Eley, Scott Janssens, Deborah Green, Jonathon Sullivan and Marilyn Fuller. Ted McPeak, Community College Student, Jersey City: Some friends and me heard that if you smoked the skin of an aret, you could get monumentally wasted. So we bought one at a pet store and waited a couple of weeks until it shed its skin. Then we crumbled up the dry skin, put it in with some pot, and lit up. We all got these insane mouth blisters that didn't go away for weeks. We all had to eat soup for a month. Though maybe it wasn't the skin; the pot could have been bad or something. Rated R. Contains profanity, explicit imagery, and hot alien action. Referenced sites: Whatever Reading is Fundamental Lies and Little Deaths Child's Play Today in Alternate History 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2005/11/17/ep028-corporate-network/ http://escapepod.org/2005/11/17/ep028-corporate-network/#comments Thu, 17 Nov 2005 07:58:46 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=78 http://escapepod.org/2005/11/17/ep028-corporate-network/feed/ 11 00:01:01 By Lucy A. Snyder. Read by Rob Walch (of Podcast 411) with Mur Lafferty (of Geek Fu Action Grip). Axedame agrees that the technology provides staffing solutions ... By Lucy A. Snyder. Read by Rob Walch (of Podcast 411) with Mur Lafferty (of Geek Fu Action Grip). Axedame agrees that the technology provides staffing solutions that have yet to reach public acceptance or full legality. "Undead workers are kind of a gray area as far as the feds are concerned. And you bet your boots the unions are fighting it. But since you don't have to pay the dead minimum wage, the potential impact this could have on America's bottom line is off the charts! We're pretty sure we can get the government on board as long as the GOP stays in charge." Rated R. Contains profanity, violence, dark magic, and other typical sysadmin behavior. Referenced sites: Plot Patents Slashdot Commentary Look What I Found In My Brain! SFFAudio 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No