Archives for the 'Rated R' Category
EP237: Roadside Rescue
Published on 7 Feb 2010 at 3:40 pm.
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Filed under Podcasts, Rated R.
By Pat Cadigan.
Read by Stephen Eley.
First appeared in Omni, July 1985.
“That’s a long time to wait.” The navigator’s smile widened. He was very attractive, holo-star kind of handsome. People who work for aliens, Etan thought. “Perhaps you’d care to wait in my employer’s transport. For that matter, I can probably repair your vehicle, which will save you time and money. Roadside rescue fees are exorbitant.”
“That’s very kind,” Etan said, “but I have called, and I don’t want to impose—“
“It was my employer’s idea to stop, sir. I agreed, of course. My employer is quite fond of people. In fact, my employer loves people. And I’m sure you would be rewarded in some way.”
Rated R. Contains profanity and mature (if alien) themes.
EP234: The Secret Protocols of the Elders of Zion
Published on 18 Jan 2010 at 2:00 pm.
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-->By Lavie Tidhar.
Read by Stephen Eley.
First appeared in The West Pier Gazette & Other Stories, 2008.
It was afternoon, after school has ended for the day. Sash has been working in the hydroponics gardens, helping the adults with the delicate work of picking the buds. It was flowering time, and the ganja plants were at the end of their cycle.
It was then, with her hands sticky with resin and her skin tingling pleasantly from the work and the heat, with Mama Kingston’s deep, melodious voice saying ‘a good harvest, child, a good harvest’ with a throaty chuckle, when Sash felt about herself the presence of Jah in everything she did and was profoundly happy: it was then that Sash discovered, for the first time, the existence of the Secret.
Rated R. Contains some violence and a plot heavily focused on drug use. If you’re good with that, there’s not much else likely to be problematic for younger audiences.
EP227: His Master’s Voice
Published on 3 Dec 2009 at 1:35 pm.
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-->By Hannu Rajaniemi.
Read by Peter Piazza; courtesy of Starship Sofa.
Guest introduction by Paul Graham Raven of Futurismic.
First appeared in Interzone, October 2008.
Before the concert, we steal the Master’s head. The Necropolis is a dark forest of concrete mushrooms in the blue Antarctic night. We huddle inside the utility fog level attached to the steep southern wall of the ice valley. The cat washes itself with a pink tongue. It reeks of infinite confidence.
“Get ready,” I tell it. “We don’t have all night.”
It gives me a moderately offended look, and dons its armor.
Referenced Sites:
PodDisc.com
EP226: Pirate Solutions
Published on 26 Nov 2009 at 12:18 pm.
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Filed under Podcasts, Rated R, Uncategorized.
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-->by Katherine Sparrow
Narrated by Sarah Tolbert, Kate Baker, Nate Periat, and Steve Eley
The story first appeared in Fast Ships, Black Sails edited by Ann and Jeff VanderMeer.
You could feel their heat. Not a metaphor, I don’t mean that, I mean literally the room grew warmer when they were in it. They were both so powerful. Whenever Anne and Jack (they weren’t named that then, but that’s who they were) strolled into the room you got contact highs from their lust. People who would never make out would find excuses to go to the bathroom together and come back with monster hickies. Everyone always wanted to sit near them because of their heat, and because they always said the thing you wish you’d said but only thought to say a billion blinks later.
When I first joined the Freebooter tech collective Anne and Jack were happy to have another girl in the group, but otherwise they ignored me. I could stare and stare at them all day long, hiding behind my black-rimmed glasses. But then one day Anne looked at me, and then Jack looked too, and we all just sort of fell toward each other. Like gravity. Like magic. Like there was a God.
Rated ARRRRR.
EP225: A Hard Rain at the Fortean Café
Published on 19 Nov 2009 at 6:30 am.
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-->by Lavie Tidhar narrated by Sarah Tolbert
This story originally appeared in Aeon #14.
The diner stood off the highway outside a small town optimistically called Hope. Hope was being stuck in the middle of the Northwest and wishing you were someplace, anyplace else. And Hope was also the name on the tag pinned to the dead woman in waitress uniforms that was currently lying against the wall inside the Barbie-Q Roadhouse. I had to stop myself from worrying at the connection: looking for patterns when sometimes there are none at all.
I wasn’t worried about Hope (the waitress, not the town). I didn’t get called down here for a murder: shit, murder is an honest-to-God American pastime. Just look at the statistics. No, I got called in because of the Marilyn.
The Marilyn was also dead. All in all, there were five dead people in the Barbie-Q: two waitresses; a balding man who – from his bag full of cheaply-printed catalogues – was some sort of a general salesman; the diner’s manageress; and Marilyn. They had been shot by a machine gun, probably an Uzi. Marilyn’s head left a red smear against the glass of the booth she sat in. She was there alone.
What the hell was a Marilyn doing out here?
Rated R for violence and language.
EP222: Infestation
Published on 29 Oct 2009 at 6:30 am.
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Filed under Podcasts, Rated R, Uncategorized.
by Garth Nix read by Geoff Michelli
They were the usual motley collection of freelance vampire hunters. Two men, wearing combinations of jungle camouflage and leather. Two women, one almost indistinguishable from the men though with a little more style in her leather armour accessories, and the other looking like she was about to assault the south face of a serious mountain. Only her mouth was visible, a small oval of flesh not covered by balaclava, mirror shades, climbing helmet and hood.
They had the usual weapons: four or five short wooden stakes in belt loops; snap-holstered handguns of various calibers, all doubtless chambered with Wood-N-Death® low-velocity timber-tipped rounds; big silver-edged bowie or other hunting knife, worn on the hip or strapped to a boot; and crystal vials of holy water hung like small grenades on pocket loops.
Protection, likewise, tick the usual boxes. Leather neck and wrist guards; leather and woven-wire reinforced chaps and shoulder pauldrons over the camo; leather gloves with metal knuckle plates; Army or climbing helmets.
Recently appeared in By Blood We Live.
Rated R for violence and very different vampires.
EP219: Sleepy Joe
Published on 8 Oct 2009 at 6:30 am.
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Filed under Podcasts, Rated R, Uncategorized.
by Marc Laidlaw narrated by Ben Phillips
originally appeared in The Infinite Matrix
The plan must have come to Rog fully formed that first morning, as he stepped off the elevator into the lobby of Szilliken Sharpenwright and saw the old soldier newly stationed there in his omnichair between the potted silk ferns and the coffee tables.
“Oh. My. God. I am in love.”
Megan, her arms loaded with Rog-House props and paraphernalia she hadn’t had time to ditch yet, said, “You say that an awful lot for someone who styles himself completely asexual. Not to mention atheistic.”
Rated R for adult situations, a smattering of violence, and overly friendly chairs.
EP217: The Kindness of Strangers
Published on 24 Sep 2009 at 8:00 am.
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-->by Nancy Kress narrated by Kate Baker
When morning finally dawns, Rochester isn’t there anymore.
Jenny stands beside Eric, gazing south from the rising ground that yesterday was a fallow field. Maybe the whole city hasn’t vanished. Certainly the tall buildings are gone, Xerox Square and Lincoln Tower and the few others that just last night poked above the horizon, touched by the red fire of the setting September sun. But, unlike Denver or Tokyo or Seattle, Rochester, New York sits – sat – on flat ground and there’s no point from which the whole city could be seen at once. And it was such a small city.
“Maybe they only took downtown,” Jenny says to Eric, “and Penfield is still there or Gates or Brighton…”
Rated R for sexual situations and alien-caused genocide.
EP216: βoyfriend
Published on 17 Sep 2009 at 8:00 am.
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Filed under Podcasts, Rated R, Uncategorized.
by Madeline Ashby read by Tina Connolly
Violet snapped three photos of herself from various angles, sent them, and waited for her boyfriend’s response. He rang her up—a slow vibrating purr, unlike the staccato door-knocking of her mother’s ringvibe—and said: “Me likey. Now take it off.”
Violet frowned. “You were supposed to dig up the backstory on the dress.”
“Well, you can’t blame me for getting a little distracted. Besides, isn’t it bad luck for me to see?”
“That’s only for weddings, not prom.”
Rated R for language, teen-adult situations, and virtual steadies. Also, Norm’s sexy talk.
EP214: Sinner, Baker, Fablist, Priest; Red Mask, Black Mask, Gentleman, Beast
Published on 3 Sep 2009 at 7:30 am.
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Filed under Podcasts, Rated R, Uncategorized.
Read ‘EP214: Sinner, Baker, Fablist, Priest; Red Mask, Black Mask, Gentleman, Beast’
-->by Eugie Foster Narrated by Lawrence Santoro
Each morning is a decision. Should I put on the brown mask or the blue? Should I be a tradesman or an assassin today?
Whatever the queen demands, of course, I am. But so often she ignores me, and I am left to figure out for myself who to be.
Dozens upon dozens of faces to choose from.
1. Marigold is for murder.
Rated R for sex, masks, and violence.
