Archive for 10 and Up

EP054: Tk’tk’tk


By David D. Levine.
Read by Paul Tevis (of Have Games Will Travel).

Shkthh pth kstphst, the shopkeeper said, and Walker’s hypno-implanted vocabulary provided a translation: “What a delightful object.” Chitinous fingers picked up the recorder, scrabbling against the aluminum case with a sound that Walker found deeply disturbing. “What does it do?”

It took him a moment to formulate a reply. Even with hypno, Thfshpfth was a formidably complex language. “It listens and repeats,” he said. “You talk all day, it remembers all. Earth technology. Nothing like it for light-years.” The word for “light-year” was hkshkhthskht, difficult to pronounce. He hoped he’d gotten it right.

Rated PG. Contains scatology and crimes against pronunciation.

Referenced sites:
2006 Hugo Nominees
Shelley the Republican
CAP Alert System
Bento Fanzine
National PTA
Rescuing Recess

EP053: Seventy-Five Years


By Michael A. Burstein.
Read by Deborah Green.

Isabel turned the handheld on and read to herself briefly. “According to this, your bill would push the date of release of the individual Census forms from seventy-two to seventy- five years.”

“It makes sense, Isabel.”

“It does?”

He pointed to her handheld. “You say you have my argument in there.”

“I do. And I find it specious.”

Rated G. Contains politics and reference to moral issues. (Your kids may not get it, but it shouldn’t offend.)

Referenced sites:
2006 Hugo Nominees
Wikipedia on the Hugo Award
Hugo History at a Glance
Novel Nominees – Electronic Editions
Rock ‘N’ Roll Monster Bash 2006

EP050: The Malcontent


By Stephen Eley.
Read by Paul Jenkins.

Finally Nicholas summoned his overseers and all other servants who were mobile to his chamber. “You are merely robots,” Nicholas said, “but I know you are not stupid. Doubtless during my withdrawal you laid plans to snare me again, to draw me against my will into a plot for my own happiness.”

“Harshly said, sir,” said the Overseer of Planning, “but essentially correct. We have found a young lady with whom we feel you will establish a more-than-satisfactory rapport, and taken measures to ensure that you shall not avoid her.”

Rated PG. Contains killer robots, incidental violence, and love looked for in all the wrong places.

EP048: Soul Food


By Paul E. Martens.
Read by Stephen Eley.

They are a quick lot, these humans. They dart about, rushing here, there, everywhere, as if
something were chasing them. They speak quickly, as well. I have to remember the sounds they
make, then replay them in my memory at a slower speed to decipher their words.

And my mission is not made any easier by the way they perceive it, and therefore me. To
them, the fact that I have come to eat one of them automatically makes me a monster.

Rated PG. Contains deep moral and gastronomical issues. And yelling.

EP045: Are You Ready For the End of the World?


(Technical Note: Stupidity on my part this morning resulted in the file being unavailable for a few hours. That’s fixed. To make sure everyone’s RSS feeds refresh, I’m replacing the original post. If you get the file twice, my apologies. Please e-mail me if you have any problems.)

By Danny Adams.
Read by Paul Jenkins and Tee Morris.

Would you like to know how to escape the imminent destruction of the Earth?

Sure, we all would.

And this site can help. Our specially-trained instructors can assist you in putting together your very own personal starship to get off this planet before its obliteration.

Rated PG. Contains a planet in peril, almost-helpful aliens, and a sociopathic football player. One or more of the three fail to come out on top.

Referenced sites:
Infection by Scott Sigler

EP045: Are You Ready For the End of the World?


By Danny Adams.
Read by Paul Jenkins and Tee Morris.

Would you like to know how to escape the imminent destruction of the Earth?

Sure, we all would.

And this site can help. Our specially-trained instructors can assist you in putting together your very own personal starship to get off this planet before its obliteration.

Rated PG. Contains a planet in peril, almost-helpful aliens, and a sociopathic football player. One or more of the three fail to come out on top.

Referenced sites:
Infection by Scott Sigler

EP044: Show and Tell


By Greg van Eekhout.
Read by Anna Eley.

Dex asks if he can keep the bullet, and Brindi says to give it back, and Teacher reminds her to say please. Brindi agrees to throw bullets at the rest of us, so she does the thing with her finger and it’s BOOM, BOOM, BOOM and whip-whip-whip for the next few minutes.

When she’s done there’s smoke in the air and it stinks and we applaud and give back her bullets. Brindi has had a great show, and I don’t know how anyone can beat it.

Show and Tell is important because it prepares us to be impressive.

Rated PG. Contains mild scenes of violence enacted by somewhat strange children.

Referenced sites:
The Numbers – Movie Budgets
Lies and Little Deaths: A Virtual Anthology
The Speech Accent Archive

EP042: Practical Villainy


By Janni Lee Simner.
Read by Stephen Eley.
Musical guest: Jonathan Coulton.

The first thing I want you to know is that I drowned those kittens for a reason. Villains rarely do anything without purpose, and I’m no exception, to that or any other rule. Irrational, passionate acts are for heroes, with their bright armor and their grand ideas, their conviction that with enough heart they can right any wrong, unravel any curse. My dragons were once well-fed on their kind, and their skulls still decorate the spikes above my gates.

Rated PG. Fictional animals were harmed in the making of this podcast. Also knights, damsels, dragons, and medieval economies.

Referenced sites:
Dragon Page Wingin’ It

EP040: Even Vadsø Thaws


By Bruce Holland Rogers.
Read by Stephen Eley.
Musical guest: Red Hunter.

The only person who might understand is Sponheim, the Corrections
Sociologist. He just arrived. It’s his job to understand me thoroughly
and to write a report that his successors will use to decide if it’s safe
to revive me. His report will help them decide if I am no longer a threat
to society because society has changed enough to deal with me, or has
learned to treat behaviors like mine.

“I am already remorseful!” I tell him at our first interview. “I
won’t do it again!” We are sitting at a table by the water. A light mist
falls. “I shouldn’t have done it, shouldn’t even have thought about
it. Once, I was one of the people fighting to preserve the last wild polar
bears! I wanted to protect the earth!” I get myself worked up. I am
close to tears.

Rated PG. Contains themes of ecoterrorism and global disaster. If you can explain that to your kids, it’s family-safe.

Referenced sites:
Short-Short Stories by Bruce Holland Rogers
SciFi Dimensions