Archives for the 'Rated G' Category
EP Flash: Hibernation
Published on 24 Jan 2006 at 1:25 am.
10 Comments.
Filed under Flash, Podcasts, Rated G.
By Madge E. Miller.
Read by Stephen Eley.
Two Alaskan Kodiak bears joined a small circus where the pair appeared nightly in a parade, pulling a covered wagon. The fact that they had joined the circus was not so strange; the circus life was very popular even for the better class of bear. The strange thing was that they were both primitive mutes. This alone elevated or, in the opinion of some bears still angry about the Great Russian Dancing Bear Revolt of ‘06, lowered them to the level of freak show attraction.
Rated G. Contains non-graphic ursine violence.
EP036: Connie, Maybe
Published on 12 Jan 2006 at 3:28 am.
22 Comments.
Filed under Podcasts, Rated G.
By Paul E. Martens.
Read by Wichita Rutherford (of 5 Minutes With Wichita).
Conrad McManus claimed he was kidnaped by aliens and replaced by an exact duplicate of himself.
But, Connie, we said, that doesn’t make sense. If you were a duplicate you wouldn’t say a thing like that.
Connie shook his head. “The aliens destroyed my body while they were doing their tests and experiments and what not and they had to make a new one so no one would know about them.”
So they destroyed everything, we asked, except your brain?
“No,” he said. “They destroyed my brain, too.”
Rated G. Contains alien abduction, brainwashing, and conspiracy. Unless it doesn’t.
Referenced sites:
Snakes on a Plane
Something From the Nightside by Simon Green
EP030: Aliens Love Oranges
Published on 1 Dec 2005 at 3:40 am.
12 Comments.
Filed under Podcasts, Rated G.
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-->By Sue Burke.
Read by Mur Lafferty (of Geek Fu Action Grip).
“They do talk wrong,” she whispered. “They say ‘aboot’ instead of ‘about’ and ‘proh-gress’ instead of ‘prah-gress.’ It’s like they can’t almost speak English right.”
“That’s how you tell,” Lois said. “Aliens can’t figure out how to say the letter O. Have y’all ever heard a body talk like that?”
Rated G. Contains mild provinicialism, non-explicit discussion of sexual preferene, and screwdrivers. (The kind with vodka.)
Referenced sites:
Spaceship Radio Script Factory
Rev Up Review
2B Pictures Filmmaking Podcast
EP Flash: Wetting the Bed
Published on 17 Oct 2005 at 11:30 pm.
8 Comments.
Filed under Flash, Podcasts, Rated G.
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-->By Heather Shaw.
Read by Anna Eley.
When the floods came, all us kids climbed into bed and pulled the covers up over our heads while our parents rushed about trying to do something to stop it. As the water level rose we could feel the beds lift off the floor, floating through our houses, bumping down our hallways and out our front doors.
We sat up in bed waved to one another as our beds merged onto the canal that now flowed between our houses. We shrieked and giggled as our beds spun and bumped along with the swirling water. Waves lapped at our boxsprings, but our covers were still warm and dry.
Rated G. It’s apocalyptic fantasy — for kids!
EP Flash: Troy Trooper
Published on 5 Oct 2005 at 12:12 am.
3 Comments.
Filed under Flash, Podcasts, Rated G.
By Alex Holden.
Read by Stephen Eley.
“Piece of crap!” The boy kicked the toy soldier hard and it flew across the room.
“Ow,” said Troy, as he warily checked himself for damage, “what was that for?”
EP019: Implications
Published on 15 Sep 2005 at 1:52 am.
4 Comments.
Filed under Podcasts, Rated G.
By James C. Bassett.
Read by Stephen Eley.
“Yes, obviously. But its judgement is rather lacking, wouldn’t you say? Trying to translocate itself to the Ancestors’ Earth on a whim? For that matter, Instructor, I might also question your own judgement. Imagine, teaching macrolevel effects as an introduction to subquantum nonlocality!”
Arcaprun jumped up and ran to its Instructor’s defence. “Aw, Prundis, you know it wasn’t Grap’s fault. It was just a little accident.”
“Just an accident?” Prundis countered drily. “You neglected to factor in lightspeed lag when making observations to determine coordinates and lost yourself halfway across the universe! It took me three weeks to locate you! I was worried sick, Arc.”
Rated G. Suitable for macrolevel quantum explicate children of all ages.
Referenced podcasts:
Skepticality
Hooting Yard
Epistaxis Time
EP Review: Katamari Damacy
Published on 16 Aug 2005 at 11:45 pm.
2 Comments.
Filed under Podcasts, Rated G, Reviews.
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A video game by Keita Takahashi.
Reviewed by Stephen Eley.
EP012: Clean Up Your Room!
Published on 28 Jul 2005 at 1:27 am.
7 Comments.
Filed under Podcasts, Rated G.
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-->By Laura Anne Gilman.
Read by Mur Lafferty (of Geek Fu Action Grip).
“Jessy, put that away and come eat breakfast. You won’t get anything useful done on an empty stomach.” The voice was the usual gender-neutral computer-generated drone, and yet it sounded different to her this morning. Obviously, the tone modifiers Gregory had suggested were working, too. That was going to be a selling point for everyone yelping about the dehumanization of home life. In a few generations, they’d be able to personalize the voice, maybe even to customer order.
Rated G. Contains intense maternal nagging and disturbing chorework. May not be suitable for some adults.
EP011: Herd Mentality
Published on 21 Jul 2005 at 2:08 am.
2 Comments.
Filed under Podcasts, Rated G.
By Jay Caselberg.
Read by Stephen Eley.
Einstein was getting old now. All of them. Not so old that he was past it, but you had to wonder. When our troops liberated the Spemann Lab complex in 1945, the Einsteins had been just five years old. The Government had done the humanitarian thing and brought them back home. Eventually, someone had leaked the information and slowly, slowly, public pressure and outrage had grown. The big hush-hush operation our government had mounted was shut down and the Einsteins were released – or rather, they were integrated into society in a humanitarian manner. That was the wording the government press releases used. Two hundred and fifty is a lot of Einsteins.
Rated G. Suitable for world-dominating clone armies of all ages.
EP Flash: Paradox
Published on 18 Jul 2005 at 12:41 am.
2 Comments.
Filed under Flash, Podcasts, Rated G.
By Scott Janssens.
Read by Paul S. Jenkins (of Rev Up Review).
I saw nothing when I looked through the eyepiece Franz handed me and told him so.
“Of course not,” said Franz. “Right now, the time sight is set to look into the future. From this point in time, the future doesn’t exist yet, not in any meaningful way, so it can’t be seen.”
