Category: Rated G

EP131: Hesperia and Glory

By Ann Leckie.
Read by Frank Key (of Hooting Yard).
First appeared in Subterranean Magazine #4.

He told me then of the antiquity and superiority of Martian
civilization, and of Hesperia, which was the greatest of Martian
nations. Each Hesperian learned, from his mother’s knee and
throughout his schooling, the importance of right thinking. “On
Mars,” he said, “we understand that what one thinks makes the world.”

“Do you mean to say that each of us makes our own world with his
thoughts?” I’d heard the idea before, usually at two in the morning
from young men drunk with a heady mix of champagne and philosophy, and
whose lives had yet to run up very hard against reality.

“No, no,” said Atkins testily. “Nothing so trivial. There’s only one
universe. But that universe is formed by thought. If it were left to
undisciplined minds, the world would be chaos.”

Rated G. Contains classic Martian action/adventure and potentially hazardous philosophy.

 

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EP121: The Snow Woman’s Daughter

By Eugie Foster.
Read by cunning minx (of Polyamory Weekly).
First appeared in Cricket magazine, February 2007.

When I was a little girl, I thought my mother’s name was Yuki, which means snow. That was part of her name, but I didn’t learn the rest of it until the night my father died.

My mother left us on a slate-gray evening when I was five, with her namesake falling from the sky and piled high around the windows and doors. Awakened by raised voices, I watched through a tear in the curtain that shielded my sleeping mat as my mother wrapped her limbs in a shining, white kimono. As far back as I could remember, she had always worn the dark wool shifts that all mountain people wear, spun from the hair of the half-mad goats that give us milk and cheese. In her kimono she looked like a princess, or a queen. Her skin was paler than mine, and I am thought quite fair. Roku, the boy who lived on the northern crest, used to tease me when we were little, calling me “ghost girl” and “milk face.”

Rated G. Contains non-graphic death and childbearing.

Referenced Sites:

Daily Dragon Podcast

Dragon*Con 2007

 

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EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush

By Derek Zumsteg.
Read by Jared Axelrod (of The Department of Public Words).

“I read an interesting forum post last night,” my electric toothbrush told me over its low burr.

“Thiff ouff thew be thood,” I said through my mouth of foam.

“It was!” he replied. “Using readily available components, Monkeymonkey turned his Intellibrush into a milk frother.”

I spit into the sink and set my toothbrush in its white ceramic charger. “What would I do with a milk frother?”

“Make cappucinos,” my toothbrush said, with a hint of resignation, as I rinsed and spit again.

“I don’t drink cappucinos,” I said.

“You could start!”

Rated G. Contains a very mild reference to vibrating appliances.

Referenced Sites:

U.S.S. Mariner

Senses Five Press

 

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EP105: Impossible Dreams

2007 Hugo Nominee!

By Tim Pratt.
Read by Matthew Wayne Selznick (of Brave Men Run and Writers Talking).
First appeared in Asimov’s Science Fiction, July 2006.

He went to the Sci-Fi shelf‚Äîand had another shock. I, Robot was there, but not the forgettable action movie with Will Smith‚Äîthis was older, and the credits said “written by Harlan Ellison.” But Ellison’s adaptation of the Isaac Asimov book had never been produced, though it had been published in book form. “Must be some bootleg student production,” he muttered, and he didn’t recognize the name of the production company. But‚Äîbut‚Äîit said “winner of the Academy Award for Best Adapted Screenplay.” That had to be a student director’s little joke, straight-facedly absurd box copy, as if this were a film from some alternate reality. Worth watching, certainly, though again, he couldn’t imagine how he’d never heard of this. Maybe it had been done by someone local. He took it to the counter and offered his credit card.

She looked at the card dubiously. “Visa? Sorry, we only take Weber and FosterCard.”

Rated G. Contains excessive movie trivia; some of it true.

Today’s Sponsor:

Referenced Sites:

Balticon 2007

 

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EP094: The Last Wave

By Kay Kenyon.
Read by Frank Key (of Hooting Yard and Hooting Yard on the Air).

From what I gather, there are two competing theories about me. The ones who come with binoculars and cameras believe in the monster theory. I consider myself as siding with this group. The scientists, on the other hand, with their annoying echolocation devices, hold that I’m a prehistoric Earth creature, the last of my kind, cut off from my fellows. Sentimental drivel, of course. Drifting along under their hulls at night, I eavesdrop. They think I’m some kind of fish. But if they ever caught me, the DNA analysis would give them a bit of a jolt.

Rated G. Contains aquatic monsters with a penchant for memorabilia. That’s about as scary as it gets.

 

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