Archive for Podcasts

EP008: Lachrymose and the Golden Egg


By Tim Pratt
Read by Stephen Eley.
All stories by Tim Pratt.
All stories read by Stephen Eley.

“Foul temptress?” I said, stepping back, clanking in my armor. A suit of plate mail often appears when I’m startled. I wished the armor away and replaced it with soft green leggings and a deerskin shirt. “Wily seductress?”

“Damsel in distress.” She leaned against a tree, hands clasped before her.

I clutched my stick and looked around. “Immediate distress, or general distress?” I worried about ogres, or killbots. They often menace damsels, and when the wind’s wrong, you can’t smell them coming, neither rotten meat nor engine oil. It’s hard to hurt an ogre or a killbot with a staff, but I’m useless with a sword. I used a blade on my first few outings, but after chopping off my feet six times, I switched to a stick.

Rated PG. Contains slight profanity, drug use, and violence against were-ape ninjas.


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EP Flash: Ubiquitous


By Douglas Triggs.
Read by Stephen Eley.

The clicks and squeals in his head subsided. No one else could understand them except him. No one else could even hear them. But they’d always been there, ever since he could remember. They hadn’t meant anything at first, not until he was older, well into his teenage years. They said terrible things — disturbing things — but still he could ignore them, even if he didn’t dare tell anyone about them.

Rated R. Contains violent themes and images.

EP007: The Trouble With Death Traps


By Marjorie James.
Read by Stephen Eley.
All stories by Marjorie James.
All stories read by Stephen Eley.

A razor-sharp blade shot out of the wall and whipped in front of the teen’s face. Xnab hauled him back and spun him around.

“First thing you have to learn in this business: never kick anything. Got that?”

“Yes sir. Sorry sir.”

“Good.”

“Sir?”

“Yes?”

“What’s the second thing?”

Rated PG. Contains no sexual content or strong language. Does contain whirling blades of death.

EP006: Jenny Nettles


By Debra Doyle and James D. Macdonald.
Read by Stephen Eley.
All stories by Debra Doyle and James D. Macdonald.
All stories read by Stephen Eley.

On the morning after his death, a clear fluid began to leak from the Jenny‘s mainmast: slow, glistening droplets that curled out and ran downward from where the knives were stuck in the wood. “It’s water,” said the ship’s cook. “But not fresh. Salt. Like blood.”

“Not like blood,” said Big Tom, who had also tasted it. His cheeks were sunken, and his eyes were hollow and dark. “Not like blood — like tears.”

Rated PG. Contains violence, supernatural themes, and sailors who do not swear.

EP Promo


We’ve had a few requests by other podcasters for the Escape Pod promo segment, heard already on great shows such as The Dragon Page Winging It and Geek Fu Action Grip. So here it is for the world. If you choose to play it yourself or otherwise pass it on, we’d appreciate a line letting us know where so we can check you out, but it isn’t strictly necessary.

It’s also a complete story in its own right, so hopefully the rest of you will enjoy it as just another flash fiction piece.

(Note: This promo contains a lot of podcasting in-jokes. You may find some of it inscrutable if you don’t listen to other podcasts. Just take our word that it’s funny, okay?)


Download the Escape Pod promo.

EP005: Snow Day


By Jennifer Pelland.
Read by Deborah Green.
All stories by Jennifer Pelland.
All stories read by Deborah Green.

“Innovate, Max. Burrow your way out. I don’t care.”

“A tunnel of snow would be unsafe for you to travel through, as it could collapse at any time.”

“Max–“

“Would you like to have sex?”

Damn him. He vibrates.

Rated R. Contains profanity, robotic sexual content, and offensive weather.


Download this week’s Escape Pod.