Archive for Podcasts

EP054: Tk’tk’tk


By David D. Levine.
Read by Paul Tevis (of Have Games Will Travel).

Shkthh pth kstphst, the shopkeeper said, and Walker’s hypno-implanted vocabulary provided a translation: “What a delightful object.” Chitinous fingers picked up the recorder, scrabbling against the aluminum case with a sound that Walker found deeply disturbing. “What does it do?”

It took him a moment to formulate a reply. Even with hypno, Thfshpfth was a formidably complex language. “It listens and repeats,” he said. “You talk all day, it remembers all. Earth technology. Nothing like it for light-years.” The word for “light-year” was hkshkhthskht, difficult to pronounce. He hoped he’d gotten it right.

Rated PG. Contains scatology and crimes against pronunciation.

Referenced sites:
2006 Hugo Nominees
Shelley the Republican
CAP Alert System
Bento Fanzine
National PTA
Rescuing Recess

EP053: Seventy-Five Years


By Michael A. Burstein.
Read by Deborah Green.

Isabel turned the handheld on and read to herself briefly. “According to this, your bill would push the date of release of the individual Census forms from seventy-two to seventy- five years.”

“It makes sense, Isabel.”

“It does?”

He pointed to her handheld. “You say you have my argument in there.”

“I do. And I find it specious.”

Rated G. Contains politics and reference to moral issues. (Your kids may not get it, but it shouldn’t offend.)

Referenced sites:
2006 Hugo Nominees
Wikipedia on the Hugo Award
Hugo History at a Glance
Novel Nominees – Electronic Editions
Rock ‘N’ Roll Monster Bash 2006

EP Metacast #2


The second “state of the podcast” address, in which we discuss:

  • Why it’s been too long
  • Steve’s new day job
  • EP publicity and audience growth
  • Current finances
  • Future goals for 2007
  • Marketing plans & conventions
  • Why EP is not going non-profit
  • New company name: Escape Artists, Inc.
  • Different ways to raise funds in the future
  • Why we’ve turned down advertising (and what we might accept)
  • No pay-for-content models, ever
  • Please tell us what you think!

And our bonus flash story:

EPn+1
By Rob Graber.
(Read by Stephen Eley.)

Thanks for a great year, everyone! This coming year will be bigger and better. Nothing can stop us now!

(Well, okay. Giant monsters could. That’s why we got them on our side.)

EP052: Single White Farmhouse


By Heather Shaw.
Read by The Word Whore.
Discuss on our forums.
All stories by Heather Shaw
All stories read by The Word Whore

The house consented to the wiring, and as soon as it was done she explored it carefully, like you or I would poke at a new tooth filling. Wasn’t long before any unused terminal would be flashing from her zooms around the internet. New bookmarks were always appearing in the browser files — architecture sites, construction sites, even some redecorating, _Better Homes and Gardens_-type sites were piling up in the history. Dad was disgusted by this — called it “house porn,” which made me and my brother giggle.

Rated R. Contains strong language and home… Oh, erotica.

Referenced sites:
EP on LiveJournal
EP on MySpace
2006 Hugo Nominees
Balticon
Escape Pod Classic

EP051: Is You Is / Is You Ain’t?


By Michael Canfield.
Read by Evo Terra.

I won’t kid you, the main reason I contracted to upload this biography is the money. I want a way out of my baby body–expensive surgery. Thank you for buying this link: even if you don’t like what I have to say, you’ve helped an old actor out.

I’m told the public will not buy a starbio uplink unless there is a tragedy involved–and a triumph.

Rated R. Contains profanity, sexual situations, and Hollywood actors. None of which are suitable for children.

Referenced sites:
Escape Pod Classic
Balticon
Escape Archive

EP050: The Malcontent


By Stephen Eley.
Read by Paul Jenkins.

Finally Nicholas summoned his overseers and all other servants who were mobile to his chamber. “You are merely robots,” Nicholas said, “but I know you are not stupid. Doubtless during my withdrawal you laid plans to snare me again, to draw me against my will into a plot for my own happiness.”

“Harshly said, sir,” said the Overseer of Planning, “but essentially correct. We have found a young lady with whom we feel you will establish a more-than-satisfactory rapport, and taken measures to ensure that you shall not avoid her.”

Rated PG. Contains killer robots, incidental violence, and love looked for in all the wrong places.

EP049: Union Dues – Off White Lies


By Jeffrey R. DeRego.
Read by Scott Sigler.
All stories by Jeffrey R. DeRego

“Leave,” she said calmly, “just go. A recruiting visit was here just three weeks ago and they had no success. The people here don’t much like the Union. Hell, it took me almost a year before any of them would even speak to me, and I didn’t try to razzle-dazzle them.” She quickly scanned the list and produced folders matching each name. “Here,” she said and slid them across the desk, “but they won’t go with you.”

The Union tries very hard to get all Supers to sign on and become active members, but some simply won’t. This is the first Village, and already The Union is constructing others. Either the mutation rate is rising among the Normals, or we’re getting better at ferreting them out. Either way, we need more space.

Rated R. Contains graphic violence, mature themes, and some profanity.

Referenced sites:
Viable Paradise
Escape Pod Feedback

Update:
The first Union Dues story (thanks, Aaron!)

EP048: Soul Food


By Paul E. Martens.
Read by Stephen Eley.

They are a quick lot, these humans. They dart about, rushing here, there, everywhere, as if
something were chasing them. They speak quickly, as well. I have to remember the sounds they
make, then replay them in my memory at a slower speed to decipher their words.

And my mission is not made any easier by the way they perceive it, and therefore me. To
them, the fact that I have come to eat one of them automatically makes me a monster.

Rated PG. Contains deep moral and gastronomical issues. And yelling.

EP047: Poet for Hire


By Sue Burke.
Read by Mur Lafferty.

She had been wondering if she should start her own poetry business. She believed Milwaukee might need a poet for hire to spread the magic of verse around the town. Sometimes, in her current job as a medical secretary, she secretly wrote poems for especially ill patients. They got well, and Verity felt certain the focused mental energy from the poems helped them. She wanted to write poetry full-time to spread its energy to more people — to become the city’s first commercial free-lance poet.

Rated G. Contains implied violence and the sordid crimes of the pickle business.