Archive for Podcasts

EP024: The Death Trap of Dr. Nefario


By Benjamin Rosenbaum.
Read by Chris Miller (of Unquiet Desperation) with Stephen Eley.

“Well, you know, Doc, safe is a relative thing in my profession, but I
have you on the headset, and I’m picking the lock on these handcuffs
as we’re talking. I think I’ll be fine, the piranhas are still 5 or 6
feet below me.”

“All right, but isn’t our conversation going to distract you?” I
asked. “I know you’re upset, but wouldn’t you rather call back at
another time?”

“I’d really like to talk about it, Doc. I always find talking to you
clears my mind and makes me more effective. I may need to go if the
henchmen come back, though.”

Rated PG. Contains childhood trauma and mild gratuitous villainy.

Referenced sites:
Dead White Guys
The Sci Phi Show

EP Flash: Wetting the Bed


By Heather Shaw.
Read by Anna Eley.
Discuss on our forums.
All stories by Heather Shaw
All stories read by Anna Eley

When the floods came, all us kids climbed into bed and pulled the covers up over our heads while our parents rushed about trying to do something to stop it. As the water level rose we could feel the beds lift off the floor, floating through our houses, bumping down our hallways and out our front doors.

We sat up in bed waved to one another as our beds merged onto the canal that now flowed between our houses. We shrieked and giggled as our beds spun and bumped along with the swirling water. Waves lapped at our boxsprings, but our covers were still warm and dry.

Rated G. It’s apocalyptic fantasy — for kids!

EP023: The Dream Factory


By Jenn Reese.
Read by Scott Fletcher (of Podcheck Review).

You need some younger Ast-tlakians for a new fantasy feature the company is doing. It’s Lord of the Rings meets Kindergarten Cop. Vin Diesel to star, Woo to direct. So you need a bunch of realistic fantasy creatures, and Stan Winston figured out long ago that it was easier to hire off-world than build all these bizarre creatures from scratch. It’s a big industry secret, and you need to keep it that way. You have a tendency to brag and name-drop when you’re drunk, so you’re only mostly sure that you haven’t told anyone.

Rated R. Contains sexual situations and a sleazy industry.

Referenced sites:
The Bear’s Grove
Podcheck Review
Thither.biz

EP022: Don Ysidro


By Bruce Holland Rogers.
Read by Evo Terra (of The Dragon Page).

On that last morning, anyone who came to visit me could see that I was dying. I knew it myself. As if I had cotton in my ears, I heard the voice of don Leandro saying to my wife, “Dona Susana, I think it is time to fetch the priest,” and I thought, yes, it’s time.

We don’t have our own priest, or even our own church, so someone has to drive in a pickup truck to get the priest from El Puentecito. But don’t be fooled by what you may hear in Malpasa or in Palpan de Baranda. Here we remain Catholic. Yes, we make pots in the old way. That’s why tourists come here. And it’s true, as is sometimes whispered, that we have restored certain other practices from the past. But not as they were done back then. Those were bloody and terrible times, the times of the Mejica. They say that the sacrificial blood covered the sun pyramids from top to bottom. Thank the Virgin, we don’t do anything like that.

Rated PG. Contains death rituals with possible disturbing imagery, and numerous pot references. (No, not that kind.)

Referenced sites:
Short-Short Stories
Podiobooks

EP021: Platypus Girl


By Jonathon Sullivan.
Read by Stephen Eley.

Rufus didn’t relent. “How come you ain’t got a license, skillet face?”

Shari struggled to keep her own distaste under control. Emotion could screw up the reading, her own pheromones and toxins clogging up the massive olfactory bulb and entorhinal cortex that occupied most of her cranium. She took a deep breath, pulling air through her huge nostrils, trying to calm herself. At least she didn’t have to see the man’s face.

Rated R. Contains violence, profanity, and crimes against chemistry.

Referenced sites:
Mirrormask

EP Metacast #1


A “state of the podcast” address, in which we talk at some length about subscription counts, finances, our plans to become a 501(c)(3) non-profit corporation, and what to expect from Escape Pod in the near future. If this sort of thing bores you, you can skip it with absolutely no harm to your health, the environment, or our self-esteem. But if you want to know the intimate details of our podcast, then here you go.

EP020: The Burning Bush


By Jennifer Pelland.
Read by Deborah Green.

I did the sensible thing. I screamed and ran to the bathroom, where I started tossing cups of water on my crotch in the hopes of extinguishing the flames. My boyfriend ran in behind me, started the shower up, and tossed me into the freezing water. But the fire continued to rage, despite the dousing.

At that point, I realized that I wasn’t actually in any pain. I stepped out of the stream of water, teeth still chattering, and held my hand in the blue flames. “This should hurt,” I said.

Rated X. For blasphemy and anatomy. Really.

Referenced sites:
I Should Be Writing
Dag Viggo Lok√∏en

EP019: Implications


By James C. Bassett.
Read by Stephen Eley.

“Yes, obviously. But its judgement is rather lacking, wouldn’t you
say? Trying to translocate itself to the Ancestors’ Earth on a whim?
For that matter, Instructor, I might also question your own judgement.
Imagine, teaching macrolevel effects as an introduction to subquantum
nonlocality!”

Arcaprun jumped up and ran to its Instructor’s defence. “Aw, Prundis,
you know it wasn’t Grap’s fault. It was just a little accident.”

“_Just_ an accident?” Prundis countered drily. “You neglected to
factor in lightspeed lag when making observations to determine
coordinates and lost yourself halfway across the universe! It took me
three weeks to locate you! I was worried sick, Arc.”

Rated G. Suitable for macrolevel quantum explicate children of all ages.

Referenced podcasts:
Skepticality
Hooting Yard
Epistaxis Time

EP Flash: The God of the Goblins


By Eric Marin.
Read by Stephen Eley.

The campaign had begun well. The Alarians swept south into goblin
territory, and Alarian rifles quickly overmatched goblin bows and crossbows.

In just a few weeks of fighting, the goblin population was halved. The
goblin chieftains realized that they were doomed without help and did the
only thing they could.

They asked their god, Twenty Claw, for help.