Archive for For Kids

EP094: The Last Wave


By Kay Kenyon.
Read by Frank Key (of Hooting Yard and Hooting Yard on the Air).

From what I gather, there are two competing theories about me. The ones who come with binoculars and cameras believe in the monster theory. I consider myself as siding with this group. The scientists, on the other hand, with their annoying echolocation devices, hold that I’m a prehistoric Earth creature, the last of my kind, cut off from my fellows. Sentimental drivel, of course. Drifting along under their hulls at night, I eavesdrop. They think I’m some kind of fish. But if they ever caught me, the DNA analysis would give them a bit of a jolt.

Rated G. Contains aquatic monsters with a penchant for memorabilia. That’s about as scary as it gets.

EP092: The Boy Who Yelled “Dragon!”


By Mike Resnick.
Read by Matthew Wayne Selznick (of Brave Men Run and Five Minute Memoir).
Discuss on our forums.
First appeared in Young Warriors, ed. Tamora Pierce & Josepha Sherman.
All stories by Mike Resnick.
All stories read by Matthew Wayne Selznick.

Now, this Land was the home of exceptionally brave warriors
and beautiful damsels (and occasionally they were the same person,
since beautiful damsels were pretty assertive back then). Each
young boy and girl was taught all the arts of warfare, and were
soon adept with sword, mace, lance, bow and arrow, dagger, and the
off-putting snide remark. They were schooled in horsemanship,
camouflage, and military strategy. They learned eye-gouging, ear-biting, kidney-punching, and — since they were destined to become
knights and ladies — gentility.

So successful was their training that before long enemy
armies were afraid to attack them. Within the borders of the Land
justice was so swift that there was not a single criminal left. It
would have been a very peaceful and idyllic kingdom indeed —
except for the dragons.

Rated G. It’s a children’s story. Not recommended for cynical audiences.

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EP073: Barnaby in Exile


By Mike Resnick.
Read by Paul Fischer (of The Balticon Podcast)
Discuss on our forums.
All stories by Mike Resnick.
All stories read by Paul Fischer.

“Very good, Barnaby,” she says. “And what is this?”

“Kitten,” I say.

We go through the whole book.

“Where is Barnaby?” I ask.

“Barnaby is an ape,” she says. “There is no picture of an ape in the book.”

I wonder if there are any other Barnabys in the world, and if they are lonely too.

Rated G. Contains nothing age-inappropriate. However, some listeners may find it excessively sad.

Today’s Sponsor:

Referenced sites:
2006 Podcast & Portable Media Expo

EP070: Squonk the Dragon


(Technical Note: This is a corrected version of the sound file; my original one had a cut-and-paste glitch in the outro. Apologies to anyone who gets a duplicate, and thanks to Tony Mast of the Fanboy Smackdown podcast for pointing out the error.)

By Pete Butler.
Read by Stephen Eley and Anna Eley.

Squonk lived with his mother, who was definitely not a dragon–she was a small blue bird named Mrs. Tweedle-Chirp. Now, it is true that birds generally cannot lay dragon eggs, and Mrs. Tweedle-Chirp was no exception. But, they can care for dragon eggs that they happen to find lying untended in the middle of the forest, assuming they are suitably ambitious.

Rated G. This is a children’s story. Have Fun.

Referenced sites:
Variant Frequencies

EP Flash: The Uncanny Valley


By Jared Axelrod. (365 Tomorrows, The Voice of Free Planet X)
Read by Stephen Eley.

“I’m sorry,” Purby said, reshuffling the papers on his desk. “What was the problem with her?”

“Her breathing. She breathes. She doesn’t stop.”

“Yes, and?”

“It’s unnerving.”

Rated G. (Anything that isn’t G-rated in this story is entirely the product of your imagination.)

EP Flash: Paul Bunyan and the Photocopier


By Larry Hammer.
Read by Michael R. Mennenga (of The Dragon Page).

Well, the time came Paul Bunyan had a pretty successful thing going with his lumber business. Fact is, the first year his company went public, the stock price doubled, and it went up fifty percent each of the three years after that. Mind you, this made Paul a target for corporate raiders. Why, the battle he had with Bluebeard is a yarn and a half–but that’s another tale. _This_ is the story of what happened when Paul Bunyan’s secretary went on vacation.

Rated G. Objects in story may be larger than they appear.

EP055: Down Memory Lane


By Mike Resnick.
Read by Alex Wilson (of Telltale Weekly).
Discuss on our forums.
All stories by Mike Resnick.
All stories read by Alex Wilson.

I don’t know where I was when Kennedy was shot. I don’t know what I was doing when the World Trade Center collapsed under the onslaught of two jetliners. But I remember every single detail, every minute, every second, of the day we got the bad news.

“It may not be Alzheimer’s,” said Dr. Castleman. “Alzheimer’s is becoming a catchword for a variety of senile dementias. Eventually we’ll find out exactly which dementia it is, but there’s no question that Gwendolyn is suffering from one of them.”

Rated G.

Referenced sites:
2006 Hugo Nominees
World Science Fiction Convention
L.A.Con IV
TellTale Weekly — Clarion Foundation Fundraiser
Hooting Yard Benevolent Fund for Distressed Out of Print Pamphleteers

EP053: Seventy-Five Years


By Michael A. Burstein.
Read by Deborah Green.

Isabel turned the handheld on and read to herself briefly. “According to this, your bill would push the date of release of the individual Census forms from seventy-two to seventy- five years.”

“It makes sense, Isabel.”

“It does?”

He pointed to her handheld. “You say you have my argument in there.”

“I do. And I find it specious.”

Rated G. Contains politics and reference to moral issues. (Your kids may not get it, but it shouldn’t offend.)

Referenced sites:
2006 Hugo Nominees
Wikipedia on the Hugo Award
Hugo History at a Glance
Novel Nominees – Electronic Editions
Rock ‘N’ Roll Monster Bash 2006