http://escapepod.org The Science Fiction Podcast Magazine. Each week Escape Pod delivers science fiction short stories from today's best authors. Listen today, and hear the new sound of science fiction! Tue, 21 Feb 2012 16:30:19 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=1575 2005-2011 http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/3.0 editor@escapepod.org (Mur Lafferty) editor@escapepod.org (Mur Lafferty) science fiction 1440 science fiction, sf, stories, audiobooks, storytelling, fiction, short fiction, short story The Science Fiction Podcast Magazine The Science Fiction Podcast Magazine. Each week Escape Pod delivers science fiction short stories from todayapos;s best authors. Listen today, and hear the new sound of science fiction! Mur Lafferty Mur Lafferty editor@escapepod.org No no http://escapepod.org/wp-content/images/pod-org-icon300.jpg http://escapepod.org 144 144 http://escapepod.org/2011/03/24/jaidens_weaver/ http://escapepod.org/2011/03/24/jaidens_weaver/#comments Thu, 24 Mar 2011 18:51:54 +0000 Mur Lafferty http://escapepod.org/?p=1989 http://escapepod.org/2011/03/24/jaidens_weaver/feed/ 0 00:01:01 By Mary Robinette Kowal Read by: Kij Johnson Originally published in Diamonds in the Sky Discuss on our forums. All stories by Mary Robinette Kowal All stories read by Kij ... By Mary Robinette Kowal Read by: Kij Johnson Originally published in Diamonds in the Sky Discuss on our forums. All stories by Mary Robinette Kowal All stories read by Kij Johnson Rated G: Teddy bear spiders! Show Notes: Feedback for Episode 277 Next week... Coin collecting SF. I'm serious. Jaiden's Weaver by Mary Robinette Kowal I was never one of those girls who fell in love with horses. For one thing, on our part of New Oregon they were largely impractical animals. Most of the countryside consisted of forests attached to sheer hills and you wanted to ride something with a little more clinging ability. So from the time I was, well, from the time I can remember I wanted a teddy bear spider more than I wanted to breathe. The problem is that teddy bear spiders were not cheap, especially not for a pioneer family trying to make a go of it. Mom and Dad had moved us out of Landington in the first wave of expansion, to take advantage of the homesteading act. Our new place was way out on the eastern side of the Olson mountains where Dad had found this natural level patch about halfway up a forested ridge, so we got sunshine all year round, except for the weeks in spring and autumn when the shadow of our planet's rings passed over us. Our simple extruded concrete house had nothing going for it except a view of the valley, which faced due south to where the rings were like a giant arch in the sky. Even as a twelve-year-old, angry at being taken away from our livewalls in town to this dead structure, I fell in love with the wild beauty of the trees clinging to the sheer faces of the valley walls. The only thing that would have made it better was a teddy bear spider so I could go exploring on my own. I felt trapped by the walls of the house and the valley. I had this dream that, if I had a spider, that I'd be able to sell its weavings for enough to install livewalls in my room. That's not as crazy as it sounds; teddy-bear spider weavings are collected all over the colonies and sell for insane amounts of money. I had a search setup so anytime there was news of a teddy bear spider or a new tube surfaced, I'd be right there, watching those adorable long-legged beasts. I loved their plump furry faces and wanted to run my fingers through their silky russet fur. I wonder what goes through a survey team's mind when they name things. I mean a teddy bear spider isn't a bear and it isn't a spider, but it looks like both those things. On the other hand, a fartycat looks nothing like a cat. They do stink, though. Not quite a year after we'd moved, one of my city friends had forwarded an ad from a local board which set my heart to racing. Teddy bear spider eggs: 75NOD shipped direct. Read More... See, I'd been looking at adult or adolescent teddies which cost more than my folks had set aside for me to go to university. It hadn't even occurred to me that I could raise one up myself. My mindless yearning changed into purpose. I slapped that ad onto a piece of epaper and ran into the kitchen. "Dad! Mom! Look at this." Dad glanced up from the eggs he was cracking into a bowl and pursed his lips the way he always did right before saying _no._ "Jaiden, that's a lot of money." I waved the ad again as if it were a token to get me on a ride at the fair. "We'd make back the money when the teddy started to weave. Please? I've seen their weavings in stores for hundreds of NOD." Mom ganged up on me. "That's how much the store sells a weaving for, it's not how much they pay for them. Even if it were, you're not just talking the cost of the eggs. It's the cost of feeding it, housing it, vet bills..." I knew better than to keep arguing. Sometimes if I waited and tried again later, I could get them to change their minds. Still holding the ad, I went outside and plopped on the log bench Dad had made for the front of the house. The broad silver band of the ring spanned the sky, blocked by only a few clouds. For,Kids,,OK,for,Kids,,Podcasts Mary Robinette Kowal no No http://escapepod.org/2009/09/10/ep215-mr-penumbras-twenty-four-hour-book-store/ http://escapepod.org/2009/09/10/ep215-mr-penumbras-twenty-four-hour-book-store/#comments Thu, 10 Sep 2009 05:03:40 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=470 http://escapepod.org/2009/09/10/ep215-mr-penumbras-twenty-four-hour-book-store/feed/ 0 46:36 By Robin Sloan Narrated by Stephen Eley First appeared at Robin Sloan's blog, June 8, 2009. ITrsquo;S 2:02 A.M. ON A COLD SUMMER NIGHT. Irsquo;m sitting in a book ... By Robin Sloan Narrated by Stephen Eley First appeared at Robin Sloan's blog, June 8, 2009. ITrsquo;S 2:02 A.M. ON A COLD SUMMER NIGHT. Irsquo;m sitting in a book store next to a strip club. Not that kind of book store. The inventory here is incredibly old and impossibly rare. And it has a secretmdash;a secret that I might have just discovered. I am alone in the store. And then, tap-tap, suddenly Irsquo;m not. And now Irsquo;m pretty sure Irsquo;m about to snap my laptop shut, run screaming out the front door, and never return. Rated G. May contain creepy imagery and disturbing data visualizations. For,Kids,,OK,for,Kids,,Podcasts Robin Sloan no No http://escapepod.org/2009/01/09/ep186-chrysalis/ http://escapepod.org/2009/01/09/ep186-chrysalis/#comments Fri, 09 Jan 2009 21:05:48 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=337 http://escapepod.org/2009/01/09/ep186-chrysalis/feed/ 41 27:10 By Mary Robinette Kowal. Read by Cunning Minx (of Polyamory Weekly). Sponsored by CONTAGIOUS, by Scott Sigler. People ask me if I ever get involved with the subjects ... By Mary Robinette Kowal. Read by Cunning Minx (of Polyamory Weekly). Sponsored by CONTAGIOUS, by Scott Sigler. People ask me if I ever get involved with the subjects of my documentaries. I have a difficult time imagining that they would ask my male colleagues the same question, but they seem to expect women to be more emotional. In response, I tend to grit my teeth and answer very patiently with another question. How could I do my job if I were part of the story? Only by maintaining a sacred distance could I have any hope of understanding someone's life. A documentarian records, but does not participate. Rated G. Contains alien emotional drama. For,Kids,,OK,for,Kids,,Podcasts Mary Robinette Kowal no No http://escapepod.org/2008/12/29/escape-pod-flash-standards/ http://escapepod.org/2008/12/29/escape-pod-flash-standards/#comments Tue, 30 Dec 2008 02:26:46 +0000 Rachel http://escapepod.org/?p=331 http://escapepod.org/2008/12/29/escape-pod-flash-standards/feed/ 11 4:24 By Richard K. Lyon. Read by Frank Key (of Hooting Yard). All stories by Richard K. Lyon. All stories read by Frank Key. After careful examination of your manuscript ... By Richard K. Lyon. Read by Frank Key (of Hooting Yard). All stories by Richard K. Lyon. All stories read by Frank Key. After careful examination of your manuscript no 113785, Corbamite, An Insulator Against Gravity, the editors of Review of Physics have concluded that it is not suitable for publication in this journal. This decision is final and further correspondence on this subject will serve no useful purpose. Since the above may seem somewhat harsh, let me say what I can to mitigate it. The editors do appreciate that you are working under difficult circumstances: when the senior author of a paper is deceased, it is always hard for the junior author to complete the work in an appropriate manner. Also let us assure you that we do believe you. You have told us that with his dying breath Professor Steinhardt handed you his notebook and said, "Have this published in Review of Physics." Such an action would be completely in character for Steinhardt since he was a true scientist. As for your claim that Professor Steinhardt made this statement as he was expiring from disintegrator rays wounds suffered during your escape from the City of Disembodied Brains on Altair IV, our believing that is a somewhat different matter but we need to go into that. Rated G. Contains proven impossibilities. Statement from Rachel Swirsky: Richard K. Lyon died on November 21. When I contacted him last month to ask if he still wanted this piece to run on our podcast, he said that the doctors didn't give him long, but that he hoped this would give the world "one last laugh." Escape Artists dedicates this production to his memory. We wish the best to him, and to his family. Flash,,For,Kids,,OK,for,Kids,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2008/12/25/ep184-as-dry-leaves-that-before-the-wild-hurricane-fly/ http://escapepod.org/2008/12/25/ep184-as-dry-leaves-that-before-the-wild-hurricane-fly/#comments Thu, 25 Dec 2008 05:01:32 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=335 http://escapepod.org/2008/12/25/ep184-as-dry-leaves-that-before-the-wild-hurricane-fly/feed/ 38 50:19 By Mur Lafferty. Read by Christiana Ellis (of Christiana's Shallow Thoughts, et al.). Special Closing Music: "Chiron Beta Prime," by Jonathan Coulton. Comet and Cupid were fifteen, ... By Mur Lafferty. Read by Christiana Ellis (of Christiana's Shallow Thoughts, et al.). Special Closing Music: "Chiron Beta Prime," by Jonathan Coulton. Comet and Cupid were fifteen, and took after their father, both spending the most time in the workshop tinkering with Father's tools. Christmas was coming soon and they were preparing their yearly trip to the same orphanage that had cared for them. With nine children to raise on his own, Claus could no longer adopt, but he still found it very important to care for the children in any way he could. So he took a load of toys to the children every year, with his children helping him distribute. Their siblings sat around their great sitting room, some crowding on sofas, some sitting on chair cushions or arms, and Rudolph, the baby at eleven, sat at his father's feet. He was an imposing man with a barrel chest and wild white hair and beard. When he would get excited about a project, his blue eyes would twinkle and he'd look like a madman. Rated G. Contains Santa revisionism and aerial combat. For,Kids,,OK,for,Kids,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2008/12/04/escape-pod-flash-fiction-contest-honorable-mention-the-way-before/ http://escapepod.org/2008/12/04/escape-pod-flash-fiction-contest-honorable-mention-the-way-before/#comments Thu, 04 Dec 2008 05:00:11 +0000 Rachel http://escapepod.org/?p=328 http://escapepod.org/2008/12/04/escape-pod-flash-fiction-contest-honorable-mention-the-way-before/feed/ 6 2:51 By Anna Schwind Read by Ann Leckie When Chasca turned eleven, her father took her to a ship farm, to choose her vessel.nbsp; She stood on ... By Anna Schwind Read by Ann Leckie When Chasca turned eleven, her father took her to a ship farm, to choose her vessel.nbsp; She stood on the observation deck, evaluating the herd.nbsp; Chasca selected the farthest ship.nbsp; It faced away from the others and bumped the edges of the corral.nbsp; She understood.nbsp; Rated nbsp;G. Flash,,For,Kids,,OK,for,Kids,,Podcasts Anna Schwind no No http://escapepod.org/2008/07/29/ep-review-wall-e/ http://escapepod.org/2008/07/29/ep-review-wall-e/#comments Tue, 29 Jul 2008 06:00:59 +0000 Sullydog http://escapepod.org/?p=298 http://escapepod.org/2008/07/29/ep-review-wall-e/feed/ 8 8:09 A film by Andrew Stanton Reviewed by Ryan Nichols A film by Andrew Stanton Reviewed by Ryan Nichols For,Kids,,OK,for,Kids,,Podcasts,,Reviews Ryan Nichols no No http://escapepod.org/2008/06/06/ep161-alien-promises/ http://escapepod.org/2008/06/06/ep161-alien-promises/#comments Fri, 06 Jun 2008 05:44:33 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=287 http://escapepod.org/2008/06/06/ep161-alien-promises/feed/ 34 29:42 By Janni Lee Simner. Read by Anna Eley. First appeared in Bruce Coville's Book of Aliens II, ed. Bruce Coville. Jenny was silent for a while. "Promise me ... By Janni Lee Simner. Read by Anna Eley. First appeared in Bruce Coville's Book of Aliens II, ed. Bruce Coville. Jenny was silent for a while. "Promise me something?" she finally asked. "If they ever come for you, promise you'll let me know?" "Why?" I had trouble believing Jenny really wanted to leave. Maybe this was all some sort of joke. "Just promise," Jenny said. "No." Even if she was serious, Jenny was the last person I wanted following me into space. Jenny took a deep breath. "I'll tell you, too. If they ever come for me." Rated G. This is a young adult SF story. Referenced Sites: Secret of the Three Treasures by Janni Lee Simner Bones of Faerie by Janni Lee Simner Tale Chasing - Urban Fantasy podcast For,Kids,,OK,for,Kids,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2008/05/29/ep160-kalakkaks-cousins/ http://escapepod.org/2008/05/29/ep160-kalakkaks-cousins/#comments Fri, 30 May 2008 03:59:38 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=286 http://escapepod.org/2008/05/29/ep160-kalakkaks-cousins/feed/ 25 37:00 (Updated 5/30: Corrected misspelled name in the title. Sorry, Cat.) By Cat Rambo. Read by Stephen Eley. First appeared in Asimov's Science Fiction, March 2008. "Sometimes we don't ... (Updated 5/30: Corrected misspelled name in the title. Sorry, Cat.) By Cat Rambo. Read by Stephen Eley. First appeared in Asimov's Science Fiction, March 2008. "Sometimes we don't realize that what we want isn't good for us," the man said, speaking for the first time. He stared intently at Kallakak. "Dominance rituals do not work well on me," Kallakak said, roughening his voice to rudeness. "I will see you in five days in the court." He decided not to burn his bridges too far. "I will tally up the cost of my goods by then and will have a definite figure." Let them think him acquiescent while he tried to find another way to save his shop. He stepped into the lift, but they did not follow him, simply watched as the doors slid closed and he was carried away. Making his way back to his quarters, he saw three figures standing before it. He paused, wondering if the Jellidoos had decided to lean on him further. The trio turned in unison to face him, and he recognized them with a sinking heart. The cousins. Rated G. Contains shady commerce and dim relations. Audible.com Promotion! Receive your free audiobook at: http://audible.com/escapepodsff Referenced Sites: Wiscon 2008 The Surgeon's Tale and Other Stories by Cat Rambo Jeff Vandermeer For,Kids,,OK,for,Kids,,Podcasts Cat Rambo no No http://escapepod.org/2007/12/06/ep135-stu/ http://escapepod.org/2007/12/06/ep135-stu/#comments Fri, 07 Dec 2007 04:59:12 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=253 http://escapepod.org/2007/12/06/ep135-stu/feed/ 13 41:30 By Bruce McAllister. Read by Stephen Eley. Appears in The Girl Who Loved Animals and Other Stories, from Golden Gryphon Press. The first time I met Stu, I ... By Bruce McAllister. Read by Stephen Eley. Appears in The Girl Who Loved Animals and Other Stories, from Golden Gryphon Press. The first time I met Stu, I was just a kid and there weren't any lights hovering over his house. The last time I saw him, when I was grown and we both knew what life could be if you let it, there were. That's the best way to start, I guess. That first time, our dad piled us into our old Chevy wagon--the kind you took to drive-in movies with sheets on the seats and your kids in pajamas--and drove us to the north county, saying only, "Stu is an inventor. He'll never see any royalties from his inventions because the Navy owns them, but he's an inventor, the kind that made America great." How had he first met Stu? How does anyone in the Navy get to know a wide-eyed, crazy-haired inventor who wasn't at all "strack," who shouldn't have been anywhere near the military but somehow was? On a Secret Project, of course. My brother and Isbquo;Auml;icirc;who were 10 and 6 at the time--were sure of it. Our dad and Stu had to be working on a Secret Project together. Rated G. Contains military bureaucracy, but nothing more disturbing. For,Kids,,OK,for,Kids,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2007/11/22/ep133-other-peoples-money/ http://escapepod.org/2007/11/22/ep133-other-peoples-money/#comments Fri, 23 Nov 2007 00:43:56 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=249 http://escapepod.org/2007/11/22/ep133-other-peoples-money/feed/ 58 23:20 By Cory Doctorow. Read by Amanda Fitzwater. First appeared in Forbes Magazine, October 2007. Which is why she was hoping that the venture capitalist would just leave her ... By Cory Doctorow. Read by Amanda Fitzwater. First appeared in Forbes Magazine, October 2007. Which is why she was hoping that the venture capitalist would just leave her alone. He wasn't a paying customer, he wasn't a fellow artist -- he wanted to *buy* her, and he was thirty years too late. "You know, I pitched you guys in 1999. On Sand Hill Road. One of the founding partners. Kleiner, I think. The guy ate a salad all through my slide-deck. When I was done, he wiped his mouth, looked over my shoulder, and told me he didn't think I'd scale. That was it. He didn't even pick up my business card. When I looked back as I was going out the door, I saw his sweep it into the trash with the wrapper from his sandwich." The VC -- young, with the waxy, sweaty look of someone who ate a lot of GM yogurt to try to patch his biochemistry -- shook his head. "That wasn't us. We're a franchise -- based here in LA. I just opened up the Inglewood branch. But I can see how that would have soured you on us. Did you ever get your VC?" Rated G. Contains Byzantine finance and potentially disturbing art. A #124; B #124; C #124; D #124; E #124; F #124; G #124; H #124; I #124; J #124; K #124; L #124; M #124; N #124; O #124; P #124; Q #124; R #124; S #124; T #124; U #124; V #124; W #124; X #124; Y #124; Z #124; 0..9 For,Kids,,OK,for,Kids,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2007/11/08/ep131-hesperia-and-glory/ http://escapepod.org/2007/11/08/ep131-hesperia-and-glory/#comments Fri, 09 Nov 2007 02:15:36 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=247 http://escapepod.org/2007/11/08/ep131-hesperia-and-glory/feed/ 19 34:00 By Ann Leckie. Read by Frank Key (of Hooting Yard). First appeared in Subterranean Magazine #4. He told me then of the antiquity and superiority of Martian civilization, and ... By Ann Leckie. Read by Frank Key (of Hooting Yard). First appeared in Subterranean Magazine #4. He told me then of the antiquity and superiority of Martian civilization, and of Hesperia, which was the greatest of Martian nations. Each Hesperian learned, from his mother's knee and throughout his schooling, the importance of right thinking. "On Mars," he said, "we understand that what one thinks makes the world." "Do you mean to say that each of us makes our own world with his thoughts?" I'd heard the idea before, usually at two in the morning from young men drunk with a heady mix of champagne and philosophy, and whose lives had yet to run up very hard against reality. "No, no," said Atkins testily. "Nothing so trivial. There's only one universe. But that universe is formed by thought. If it were left to undisciplined minds, the world would be chaos." Rated G. Contains classic Martian action/adventure and potentially hazardous philosophy. For,Kids,,OK,for,Kids,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2007/11/01/ep130-what-we-learned-from-this-mornings-newspaper/ http://escapepod.org/2007/11/01/ep130-what-we-learned-from-this-mornings-newspaper/#comments Thu, 01 Nov 2007 18:40:12 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=246 http://escapepod.org/2007/11/01/ep130-what-we-learned-from-this-mornings-newspaper/feed/ 22 36:45 By Robert Silverberg Read by Stephen Eley. First appeared in Unfamiliar Territory, 1973. I got home from the office as usual at 6:47 this evening and discovered that ... By Robert Silverberg Read by Stephen Eley. First appeared in Unfamiliar Territory, 1973. I got home from the office as usual at 6:47 this evening and discovered that our peaceful street has been in some sort of crazy uproar all day. The newsboy it seems came by today and delivered the New York Times for Wednesday December 1 to every house on Redbud Crescent. Since today is Monday November 22 it follows therefore that Wednesday December 1 is the middle of next week. I said to my wife are you sure that this really happened? Because I looked at the newspaper myself before I went off to work this morning and it seemed quite all right to me. At breakfast time the newspaper could be printed in Albanian and it would seem quite all right to you my wife replied. Here look at this. And she took the newspaper from the hall closet and handed it all folded up to me. It looked just like any other edition of the New York Times but I saw what I had failed to notice at breakfast time, that it said Wednesday December 1. Is today the 22nd of November I asked? Monday? It certainly is my wife told me. Yesterday was Sunday and tomorrow is going to be Tuesday and we haven't even come to Thanksgiving yet. Bill what are we going to do about this? Rated G. It's slightly safer to listen to than the New York Times. For,Kids,,OK,for,Kids,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2007/08/30/ep121-the-snow-womans-daughter/ http://escapepod.org/2007/08/30/ep121-the-snow-womans-daughter/#comments Thu, 30 Aug 2007 08:20:29 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=234 http://escapepod.org/2007/08/30/ep121-the-snow-womans-daughter/feed/ 11 22:25 By Eugie Foster. Read by cunning minx (of Polyamory Weekly). First appeared in Cricket magazine, February 2007. When I was a little girl, I thought my mother's name ... By Eugie Foster. Read by cunning minx (of Polyamory Weekly). First appeared in Cricket magazine, February 2007. When I was a little girl, I thought my mother's name was Yuki, which means snow. That was part of her name, but I didn't learn the rest of it until the night my father died. My mother left us on a slate-gray evening when I was five, with her namesake falling from the sky and piled high around the windows and doors. Awakened by raised voices, I watched through a tear in the curtain that shielded my sleeping mat as my mother wrapped her limbs in a shining, white kimono. As far back as I could remember, she had always worn the dark wool shifts that all mountain people wear, spun from the hair of the half-mad goats that give us milk and cheese. In her kimono she looked like a princess, or a queen. Her skin was paler than mine, and I am thought quite fair. Roku, the boy who lived on the northern crest, used to tease me when we were little, calling me "ghost girl" and "milk face." Rated G. Contains non-graphic death and childbearing. Referenced Sites: Daily Dragon Podcast Dragon*Con 2007 For,Kids,,OK,for,Kids,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2007/08/16/ep119-aliens-want-our-women/ http://escapepod.org/2007/08/16/ep119-aliens-want-our-women/#comments Thu, 16 Aug 2007 16:00:47 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=232 http://escapepod.org/2007/08/16/ep119-aliens-want-our-women/feed/ 25 29:30 Ramona Louise Wheeler Read by Leann Mabry (of Tag in the Seam). He was a widower, weary of too many years of loneliness. He had decided to ... Ramona Louise Wheeler Read by Leann Mabry (of Tag in the Seam). He was a widower, weary of too many years of loneliness. He had decided to travel to someplace distant and exotic, in hopes of finding as a companion someone completely different from his lost love. He had chosen Earth for its very remoteness. "I want to marry the most wonderful woman on Earth," he said. Every female on the planet had just acquired a brand new agenda in life. Rated G. Contains gender role stereotyping, but no strong sex, language or violence. Sorry. Blog of the Week: The Evil Eyebrow (receives The John W. Campbell Letters, Vol. 1) Referenced Sites: Polyamory Weekly The DrabbleCast For,Kids,,OK,for,Kids,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2007/07/19/ep115-conversations-with-and-about-my-electric-toothbrush/ http://escapepod.org/2007/07/19/ep115-conversations-with-and-about-my-electric-toothbrush/#comments Thu, 19 Jul 2007 07:40:38 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=226 http://escapepod.org/2007/07/19/ep115-conversations-with-and-about-my-electric-toothbrush/feed/ 32 22:30 By Derek Zumsteg. Read by Jared Axelrod (of The Department of Public Words). "I read an interesting forum post last night," my electric toothbrush told me over ... By Derek Zumsteg. Read by Jared Axelrod (of The Department of Public Words). "I read an interesting forum post last night," my electric toothbrush told me over its low burr. "Thiff ouff thew be thood," I said through my mouth of foam. "It was!" he replied. "Using readily available components, Monkeymonkey turned his Intellibrush into a milk frother." I spit into the sink and set my toothbrush in its white ceramic charger. "What would I do with a milk frother?" "Make cappucinos," my toothbrush said, with a hint of resignation, as I rinsed and spit again. "I don't drink cappucinos," I said. "You could start!" Rated G. Contains a very mild reference to vibrating appliances. Referenced Sites: U.S.S. Mariner Senses Five Press For,Kids,,OK,for,Kids,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2007/06/07/ep109-squonk-the-apprentice/ http://escapepod.org/2007/06/07/ep109-squonk-the-apprentice/#comments Thu, 07 Jun 2007 06:30:03 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=220 http://escapepod.org/2007/06/07/ep109-squonk-the-apprentice/feed/ 22 42:00 By P.M. Butler. Read by Stephen and Anna Eley. "What's a 'prentice?" Without thinking, Wendel answered. "An apprentice is young person who wants to be a wizard, ... By P.M. Butler. Read by Stephen and Anna Eley. "What's a 'prentice?" Without thinking, Wendel answered. "An apprentice is young person who wants to be a wizard, so they find an older wizard to teach them." The moment the words left his mouth, Wendel's heart stopped and his eyes went wide. If he'd known a spell that could grab those words and stuff them back down his throat, he would have cast it. Instead, those words scampered all the way across his bedroom, as words are inclined to do, and rushed into the ears of the dragon in the window. Wendel watched in horror as the words sunk into Squonk's brain. Squonk's eyes grew wide, his mouth dropped open, and before Wendel could think of anything to say-- "You can learn to be a wizard?! That's awesome! I wanna be a wizard! Lemme be your 'prentice!" Rated G. It's a children's story about a dragon raised by a bluebird. Set content expectations accordingly. Referenced Sites: EP070: Squonk the Dragon "How to Talk to Girls at Parties" by Neil Gaiman 2007 Hugo Nominees For,Kids,,OK,for,Kids,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2007/05/10/ep105-impossible-dreams/ http://escapepod.org/2007/05/10/ep105-impossible-dreams/#comments Thu, 10 May 2007 09:26:33 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=215 http://escapepod.org/2007/05/10/ep105-impossible-dreams/feed/ 101 47:15 2007 Hugo Nominee! By Tim Pratt. Read by Matthew Wayne Selznick (of Brave Men Run and Writers Talking). First appeared in Asimov's Science Fiction, July 2006. All stories by ... 2007 Hugo Nominee! By Tim Pratt. Read by Matthew Wayne Selznick (of Brave Men Run and Writers Talking). First appeared in Asimov's Science Fiction, July 2006. All stories by Tim Pratt. All stories read by Stephen Eley. He went to the Sci-Fi shelfsbquo;Auml;icirc;and had another shock. I, Robot was there, but not the forgettable action movie with Will Smithsbquo;Auml;icirc;this was older, and the credits said "written by Harlan Ellison." But Ellison's adaptation of the Isaac Asimov book had never been produced, though it had been published in book form. "Must be some bootleg student production," he muttered, and he didn't recognize the name of the production company. Butsbquo;Auml;icirc;butsbquo;Auml;icirc;it said "winner of the Academy Award for Best Adapted Screenplay." That had to be a student director's little joke, straight-facedly absurd box copy, as if this were a film from some alternate reality. Worth watching, certainly, though again, he couldn't imagine how he'd never heard of this. Maybe it had been done by someone local. He took it to the counter and offered his credit card. She looked at the card dubiously. "Visa? Sorry, we only take Weber and FosterCard." Rated G. Contains excessive movie trivia; some of it true. Today's Sponsor: Referenced Sites: Balticon 2007 For,Kids,,Hugo,Awards,,OK,for,Kids,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2007/04/05/ep100-nightfall/ http://escapepod.org/2007/04/05/ep100-nightfall/#comments Thu, 05 Apr 2007 04:01:12 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=210 http://escapepod.org/2007/04/05/ep100-nightfall/feed/ 50 91:38 By Isaac Asimov. Read by Stephen Eley. First appeared in Astounding Science Fiction, September 1941. "Of the six suns, only Beta is left in the sky. Do you ... By Isaac Asimov. Read by Stephen Eley. First appeared in Astounding Science Fiction, September 1941. "Of the six suns, only Beta is left in the sky. Do you see it?" The question was rather unnecessary. Beta was almost at zenith, its ruddy light flooding the landscape to an unusual orange as the brilliant rays of setting Gamma died. Beta was at aphelion. It was small; smaller than Theremon had ever seen it before, and for the moment it was undisputed ruler of Lagash's sky. Lagash's own sun, Alpha, the one about which it revolved, was at the antipodes, as were the two distant companion pairs. The red dwarf Beta -- Alpha's immediate companion -- was alone, grimly alone. Aton's upturned face flushed redly in the sunlight. "In just under four hours," he said, "civilization, as we know it, comes to an end. It will do so because, as you see, Beta is the only sun in the sky." He smiled grimly. "Print that! There'll be no one to read it." Rated G. Contains some violence and apocalyptic themes. For,Kids,,OK,for,Kids,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2007/02/22/196/ http://escapepod.org/2007/02/22/196/#comments Thu, 22 Feb 2007 22:23:34 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=193 http://escapepod.org/2007/02/22/196/feed/ 23 00:01:01 By Kay Kenyon. Read by Frank Key (of Hooting Yard and Hooting Yard on the Air). From what I gather, there are two competing theories about me. ... By Kay Kenyon. Read by Frank Key (of Hooting Yard and Hooting Yard on the Air). From what I gather, there are two competing theories about me. The ones who come with binoculars and cameras believe in the monster theory. I consider myself as siding with this group. The scientists, on the other hand, with their annoying echolocation devices, hold that I'm a prehistoric Earth creature, the last of my kind, cut off from my fellows. Sentimental drivel, of course. Drifting along under their hulls at night, I eavesdrop. They think I'm some kind of fish. But if they ever caught me, the DNA analysis would give them a bit of a jolt. Rated G. Contains aquatic monsters with a penchant for memorabilia. That's about as scary as it gets. For,Kids,,OK,for,Kids,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2007/02/08/ep092-the-boy-who-yelled-dragon/ http://escapepod.org/2007/02/08/ep092-the-boy-who-yelled-dragon/#comments Thu, 08 Feb 2007 19:30:21 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=191 http://escapepod.org/2007/02/08/ep092-the-boy-who-yelled-dragon/feed/ 8 00:01:01 By Mike Resnick. Read by Matthew Wayne Selznick (of Brave Men Run and Five Minute Memoir). Discuss on our forums. First appeared in Young Warriors, ed. Tamora Pierce ... By Mike Resnick. Read by Matthew Wayne Selznick (of Brave Men Run and Five Minute Memoir). Discuss on our forums. First appeared in Young Warriors, ed. Tamora Pierce Josepha Sherman. All stories by Mike Resnick. All stories read by Matthew Wayne Selznick. Now, this Land was the home of exceptionally brave warriors and beautiful damsels (and occasionally they were the same person, since beautiful damsels were pretty assertive back then). Each young boy and girl was taught all the arts of warfare, and were soon adept with sword, mace, lance, bow and arrow, dagger, and the off-putting snide remark. They were schooled in horsemanship, camouflage, and military strategy. They learned eye-gouging, ear-biting, kidney-punching, and -- since they were destined to become knights and ladies -- gentility. So successful was their training that before long enemy armies were afraid to attack them. Within the borders of the Land justice was so swift that there was not a single criminal left. It would have been a very peaceful and idyllic kingdom indeed -- except for the dragons. Rated G. It's a children's story. Not recommended for cynical audiences. Today's Sponsor: For,Kids,,OK,for,Kids,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2006/11/27/ep-review-the-fountain/ http://escapepod.org/2006/11/27/ep-review-the-fountain/#comments Mon, 27 Nov 2006 19:08:14 +0000 Sullydog http://escapepod.org/?p=173 http://escapepod.org/2006/11/27/ep-review-the-fountain/feed/ 8 00:01:01 EP Review: The Fountain The Science Fiction Podcast Magazine. Each week Escape Pod delivers science fiction short stories from todayapos;s best authors. Listen today, and hear the new sound of science fiction! For,Kids,,OK,for,Kids,,Podcasts,,Reviews Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2006/09/28/ep073-barnaby-in-exile/ http://escapepod.org/2006/09/28/ep073-barnaby-in-exile/#comments Thu, 28 Sep 2006 05:07:21 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=160 http://escapepod.org/2006/09/28/ep073-barnaby-in-exile/feed/ 38 00:01:01 By Mike Resnick. Read by Paul Fischer (of The Balticon Podcast) Discuss on our forums. All stories by Mike Resnick. All stories read by Paul Fischer. "Very good, Barnaby," she ... By Mike Resnick. Read by Paul Fischer (of The Balticon Podcast) Discuss on our forums. All stories by Mike Resnick. All stories read by Paul Fischer. "Very good, Barnaby," she says. "And what is this?" "Kitten," I say. We go through the whole book. "Where is Barnaby?" I ask. "Barnaby is an ape," she says. "There is no picture of an ape in the book." I wonder if there are any other Barnabys in the world, and if they are lonely too. Rated G. Contains nothing age-inappropriate. However, some listeners may find it excessively sad. Today's Sponsor: Referenced sites: 2006 Podcast Portable Media Expo Best-Of,,For,Kids,,OK,for,Kids,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2006/09/07/ep070-squonk/ http://escapepod.org/2006/09/07/ep070-squonk/#comments Fri, 08 Sep 2006 01:23:43 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=157 http://escapepod.org/2006/09/07/ep070-squonk/feed/ 38 00:01:01 (Technical Note: This is a corrected version of the sound file; my original one had a cut-and-paste glitch in the outro. Apologies to anyone ... (Technical Note: This is a corrected version of the sound file; my original one had a cut-and-paste glitch in the outro. Apologies to anyone who gets a duplicate, and thanks to Tony Mast of the Fanboy Smackdown podcast for pointing out the error.) By Pete Butler. Read by Stephen Eley and Anna Eley. Squonk lived with his mother, who was definitely not a dragon--she was a small blue bird named Mrs. Tweedle-Chirp. Now, it is true that birds generally cannot lay dragon eggs, and Mrs. Tweedle-Chirp was no exception. But, they can care for dragon eggs that they happen to find lying untended in the middle of the forest, assuming they are suitably ambitious. Rated G. This is a children's story. Have Fun. Referenced sites: Variant Frequencies For,Kids,,OK,for,Kids,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2006/08/14/ep-flash-the-uncanny-valley/ http://escapepod.org/2006/08/14/ep-flash-the-uncanny-valley/#comments Mon, 14 Aug 2006 06:46:30 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=150 http://escapepod.org/2006/08/14/ep-flash-the-uncanny-valley/feed/ 7 00:01:01 By Jared Axelrod. (365 Tomorrows, The Voice of Free Planet X) Read by Stephen Eley. "I'm sorry," Purby said, reshuffling the papers on his desk. "What was ... By Jared Axelrod. (365 Tomorrows, The Voice of Free Planet X) Read by Stephen Eley. "I'm sorry," Purby said, reshuffling the papers on his desk. "What was the problem with her?" "Her breathing. She breathes. She doesn't stop." "Yes, and?" "It's unnerving." Rated G. (Anything that isn't G-rated in this story is entirely the product of your imagination.) Flash,,For,Kids,,OK,for,Kids,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2006/06/24/ep-flash-paul-bunyan-and-the-photocopier/ http://escapepod.org/2006/06/24/ep-flash-paul-bunyan-and-the-photocopier/#comments Sat, 24 Jun 2006 08:06:41 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=138 http://escapepod.org/2006/06/24/ep-flash-paul-bunyan-and-the-photocopier/feed/ 12 00:01:01 By Larry Hammer. Read by Michael R. Mennenga (of The Dragon Page). Well, the time came Paul Bunyan had a pretty successful thing going with his lumber ... By Larry Hammer. Read by Michael R. Mennenga (of The Dragon Page). Well, the time came Paul Bunyan had a pretty successful thing going with his lumber business. Fact is, the first year his company went public, the stock price doubled, and it went up fifty percent each of the three years after that. Mind you, this made Paul a target for corporate raiders. Why, the battle he had with Bluebeard is a yarn and a half--but that's another tale. _This_ is the story of what happened when Paul Bunyan's secretary went on vacation. Rated G. Objects in story may be larger than they appear. Flash,,For,Kids,,OK,for,Kids,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2006/05/25/ep055-down-memory-lane/ http://escapepod.org/2006/05/25/ep055-down-memory-lane/#comments Thu, 25 May 2006 09:35:15 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=128 http://escapepod.org/2006/05/25/ep055-down-memory-lane/feed/ 31 00:01:01 By Mike Resnick. Read by Alex Wilson (of Telltale Weekly). Discuss on our forums. All stories by Mike Resnick. All stories read by Alex Wilson. I don't know where I ... By Mike Resnick. Read by Alex Wilson (of Telltale Weekly). Discuss on our forums. All stories by Mike Resnick. All stories read by Alex Wilson. I don't know where I was when Kennedy was shot. I don't know what I was doing when the World Trade Center collapsed under the onslaught of two jetliners. But I remember every single detail, every minute, every second, of the day we got the bad news. "It may not be Alzheimer's," said Dr. Castleman. "Alzheimer's is becoming a catchword for a variety of senile dementias. Eventually we'll find out exactly which dementia it is, but there's no question that Gwendolyn is suffering from one of them." Rated G. Referenced sites: 2006 Hugo Nominees World Science Fiction Convention L.A.Con IV TellTale Weekly -- Clarion Foundation Fundraiser Hooting Yard Benevolent Fund for Distressed Out of Print Pamphleteers For,Kids,,OK,for,Kids,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2006/05/11/ep053-seventy-five-years/ http://escapepod.org/2006/05/11/ep053-seventy-five-years/#comments Thu, 11 May 2006 22:00:10 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=124 http://escapepod.org/2006/05/11/ep053-seventy-five-years/feed/ 21 00:01:01 By Michael A. Burstein. Read by Deborah Green. Isabel turned the handheld on and read to herself briefly. "According to this, your bill would push the date ... By Michael A. Burstein. Read by Deborah Green. Isabel turned the handheld on and read to herself briefly. "According to this, your bill would push the date of release of the individual Census forms from seventy-two to seventy- five years." "It makes sense, Isabel." "It does?" He pointed to her handheld. "You say you have my argument in there." "I do. And I find it specious." Rated G. Contains politics and reference to moral issues. (Your kids may not get it, but it shouldn't offend.) Referenced sites: 2006 Hugo Nominees Wikipedia on the Hugo Award Hugo History at a Glance Novel Nominees - Electronic Editions Rock 'N' Roll Monster Bash 2006 For,Kids,,OK,for,Kids,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2006/04/04/ep-review-ultraviolet/ http://escapepod.org/2006/04/04/ep-review-ultraviolet/#comments Wed, 05 Apr 2006 01:26:20 +0000 Sullydog http://escapepod.org/?p=112 http://escapepod.org/2006/04/04/ep-review-ultraviolet/feed/ 3 00:01:01 A film by Kurt Wimmer. Reviewed by Lee Murdoch. A film by Kurt Wimmer. Reviewed by Lee Murdoch. For,Kids,,OK,for,Kids,,Podcasts,,Reviews Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2006/03/30/ep047-poet-for-hire/ http://escapepod.org/2006/03/30/ep047-poet-for-hire/#comments Thu, 30 Mar 2006 09:33:52 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=111 http://escapepod.org/2006/03/30/ep047-poet-for-hire/feed/ 10 00:01:01 By Sue Burke. Read by Mur Lafferty. She had been wondering if she should start her own poetry business. She believed Milwaukee might need a poet for ... By Sue Burke. Read by Mur Lafferty. She had been wondering if she should start her own poetry business. She believed Milwaukee might need a poet for hire to spread the magic of verse around the town. Sometimes, in her current job as a medical secretary, she secretly wrote poems for especially ill patients. They got well, and Verity felt certain the focused mental energy from the poems helped them. She wanted to write poetry full-time to spread its energy to more people -- to become the city's first commercial free-lance poet. Rated G. Contains implied violence and the sordid crimes of the pickle business. For,Kids,,OK,for,Kids,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2006/02/21/ep-flash-fools-seldom-differ/ http://escapepod.org/2006/02/21/ep-flash-fools-seldom-differ/#comments Tue, 21 Feb 2006 07:27:12 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=103 http://escapepod.org/2006/02/21/ep-flash-fools-seldom-differ/feed/ 4 00:01:01 By Jeff Noyle. Read by William Hopkins (of SF Sourcebook). The thing about the Ice is, you can get really, really, really bored. I spent a whole ... By Jeff Noyle. Read by William Hopkins (of SF Sourcebook). The thing about the Ice is, you can get really, really, really bored. I spent a whole week here yesterday. So, you know that giant slanting floe with the scoop-up at the end that I sent a picture of? Carls and I said "oh cool, that would make a great ski-jump." Only I was dumb enough actually to try it. About two minutes ago. Rated G. Kids, don't try this at home. Flash,,For,Kids,,OK,for,Kids,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2006/02/14/ep-flash-one-million-years-bfe/ http://escapepod.org/2006/02/14/ep-flash-one-million-years-bfe/#comments Tue, 14 Feb 2006 07:51:04 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=101 http://escapepod.org/2006/02/14/ep-flash-one-million-years-bfe/feed/ 12 00:01:01 By Merrie Haskell. Read by Deborah Green. Am determined to become strong, lithe, deadly, noble cave-woman type figure, radic;deg; la Ayla of Clan of the Cave Bear. ... By Merrie Haskell. Read by Deborah Green. Am determined to become strong, lithe, deadly, noble cave-woman type figure, radic;deg; la Ayla of Clan of the Cave Bear. I will fashion stone tools, hunt and gather food and live pristine, pure life of Homo Erectus-type person--at one with nature. Ah. Air is so fresh. Quite lovely. Rated G. Contains ignoble savagery and predomestic strife. Flash,,For,Kids,,OK,for,Kids,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2006/02/06/ep-flash-the-team-mate-reference-problem-in-final-stage-demon-confrontation/ http://escapepod.org/2006/02/06/ep-flash-the-team-mate-reference-problem-in-final-stage-demon-confrontation/#comments Mon, 06 Feb 2006 07:12:22 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=98 http://escapepod.org/2006/02/06/ep-flash-the-team-mate-reference-problem-in-final-stage-demon-confrontation/feed/ 11 00:01:01 By Constance Cooper. Read by Frank Key (of Hooting Yard On The Air). Colleagues, ours is a uniquely demanding profession. In no other job do you endanger ... By Constance Cooper. Read by Frank Key (of Hooting Yard On The Air). Colleagues, ours is a uniquely demanding profession. In no other job do you endanger your coworker's soul if you call out to him in the course of your duties. But since a demon has power over you once it knows your name, well-meant warnings such as "Buck! Behind you!" can have tragic consequences. Rated G. Important safety tip. (Thanks, Egon.) Flash,,For,Kids,,OK,for,Kids,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2006/01/25/ep038-lalchimista/ http://escapepod.org/2006/01/25/ep038-lalchimista/#comments Wed, 25 Jan 2006 16:52:40 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=96 http://escapepod.org/2006/01/25/ep038-lalchimista/feed/ 17 00:01:01 By N.K. Jemisin. Read by Paul Tevis (of Have Games, Will Travel). Discuss on our forums. Guest host: Salim Fadhley. All stories by N.K. Jemisin. All stories read by Paul ... By N.K. Jemisin. Read by Paul Tevis (of Have Games, Will Travel). Discuss on our forums. Guest host: Salim Fadhley. All stories by N.K. Jemisin. All stories read by Paul Tevis. She did not particularly care whether he paid; it wasn't her inn. But at his words she lifted an eyebrow. "What sort of challenge?" "A very special one." He slipped a hand into his coat like an old-fashioned pistolero, but before Franca could worry he pulled out a bulging sack made of what looked like deerhide. He set this on the table -- carefully, Franca noted. "You are willing to follow a recipe? So many chefs of your caliber think themselves above the direction of others." She lifted her chin. "I was head chef for Parliament once -- before that bastard Berlusconi, anyhow. While I was there I had to make Florentine dishes like a Florentine and Venetian dishes like a Venetian and the Madonna help me if I did them wrong. If the recipe is sound, I can follow it." Rated G. Warning: Food descriptions may be intoxicating. Do not listen before grocery shopping. Referenced sites: Resonance FM The Exciting Hellebore Shew For,Kids,,OK,for,Kids,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2006/01/24/ep-flash-hibernation/ http://escapepod.org/2006/01/24/ep-flash-hibernation/#comments Tue, 24 Jan 2006 06:25:27 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=95 http://escapepod.org/2006/01/24/ep-flash-hibernation/feed/ 10 00:01:01 By Madge E. Miller. Read by Stephen Eley. Two Alaskan Kodiak bears joined a small circus where the pair appeared nightly in a parade, pulling a covered wagon. ... By Madge E. Miller. Read by Stephen Eley. Two Alaskan Kodiak bears joined a small circus where the pair appeared nightly in a parade, pulling a covered wagon. The fact that they had joined the circus was not so strange; the circus life was very popular even for the better class of bear. The strange thing was that they were both primitive mutes. This alone elevated or, in the opinion of some bears still angry about the Great Russian Dancing Bear Revolt of '06, lowered them to the level of freak show attraction. Rated G. Contains non-graphic ursine violence. Flash,,For,Kids,,OK,for,Kids,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2006/01/12/ep036-connie-maybe/ http://escapepod.org/2006/01/12/ep036-connie-maybe/#comments Thu, 12 Jan 2006 08:28:29 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=92 http://escapepod.org/2006/01/12/ep036-connie-maybe/feed/ 23 00:01:01 By Paul E. Martens. Read by Wichita Rutherford (of 5 Minutes With Wichita). Conrad McManus claimed he was kidnaped by aliens and replaced by an exact duplicate of ... By Paul E. Martens. Read by Wichita Rutherford (of 5 Minutes With Wichita). Conrad McManus claimed he was kidnaped by aliens and replaced by an exact duplicate of himself. But, Connie, we said, that doesn't make sense. If you were a duplicate you wouldn't say a thing like that. Connie shook his head. "The aliens destroyed my body while they were doing their tests and experiments and what not and they had to make a new one so no one would know about them." So they destroyed everything, we asked, except your brain? "No," he said. "They destroyed my brain, too." Rated G. Contains alien abduction, brainwashing, and conspiracy. Unless it doesn't. Referenced sites: Snakes on a Plane Something From the Nightside by Simon Green For,Kids,,OK,for,Kids,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2005/12/01/ep030-aliens-love-oranges/ http://escapepod.org/2005/12/01/ep030-aliens-love-oranges/#comments Thu, 01 Dec 2005 08:40:21 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=81 http://escapepod.org/2005/12/01/ep030-aliens-love-oranges/feed/ 12 00:01:01 By Sue Burke. Read by Mur Lafferty (of Geek Fu Action Grip). "They do talk wrong," she whispered. "They say 'aboot' instead of 'about' and 'proh-gress' instead ... By Sue Burke. Read by Mur Lafferty (of Geek Fu Action Grip). "They do talk wrong," she whispered. "They say 'aboot' instead of 'about' and 'proh-gress' instead of 'prah-gress.' It's like they can't almost speak English right." "That's how you tell," Lois said. "Aliens can't figure out how to say the letter O. Have y'all ever heard a body talk like that?" Rated G. Contains mild provinicialism, non-explicit discussion of sexual preferene, and screwdrivers. (The kind with vodka.) Referenced sites: Spaceship Radio Script Factory Rev Up Review 2B Pictures Filmmaking Podcast For,Kids,,OK,for,Kids,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2005/10/17/ep-flash-wetting-the-bed/ http://escapepod.org/2005/10/17/ep-flash-wetting-the-bed/#comments Tue, 18 Oct 2005 03:30:38 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=70 http://escapepod.org/2005/10/17/ep-flash-wetting-the-bed/feed/ 8 00:01:01 By Heather Shaw. Read by Anna Eley. Discuss on our forums. All stories by Heather Shaw All stories read by Anna Eley When the floods came, all us kids climbed ... By Heather Shaw. Read by Anna Eley. Discuss on our forums. All stories by Heather Shaw All stories read by Anna Eley When the floods came, all us kids climbed into bed and pulled the covers up over our heads while our parents rushed about trying to do something to stop it. As the water level rose we could feel the beds lift off the floor, floating through our houses, bumping down our hallways and out our front doors. We sat up in bed waved to one another as our beds merged onto the canal that now flowed between our houses. We shrieked and giggled as our beds spun and bumped along with the swirling water. Waves lapped at our boxsprings, but our covers were still warm and dry. Rated G. It's apocalyptic fantasy -- for kids! Flash,,For,Kids,,OK,for,Kids,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2005/10/05/ep-flash-troy-trooper/ http://escapepod.org/2005/10/05/ep-flash-troy-trooper/#comments Wed, 05 Oct 2005 04:12:19 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=66 http://escapepod.org/2005/10/05/ep-flash-troy-trooper/feed/ 4 00:01:01 By Alex Holden. Read by Stephen Eley. "Piece of crap!" The boy kicked the toy soldier hard and it flew across the room. "Ow," said Troy, as he warily ... By Alex Holden. Read by Stephen Eley. "Piece of crap!" The boy kicked the toy soldier hard and it flew across the room. "Ow," said Troy, as he warily checked himself for damage, "what was that for?" Flash,,For,Kids,,OK,for,Kids,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2005/09/15/ep019-implications/ http://escapepod.org/2005/09/15/ep019-implications/#comments Thu, 15 Sep 2005 05:52:07 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=60 http://escapepod.org/2005/09/15/ep019-implications/feed/ 4 00:01:01 By James C. Bassett. Read by Stephen Eley. "Yes, obviously. But its judgement is rather lacking, wouldn't you say? Trying to translocate itself to the Ancestors' Earth on ... By James C. Bassett. Read by Stephen Eley. "Yes, obviously. But its judgement is rather lacking, wouldn't you say? Trying to translocate itself to the Ancestors' Earth on a whim? For that matter, Instructor, I might also question your own judgement. Imagine, teaching macrolevel effects as an introduction to subquantum nonlocality!" Arcaprun jumped up and ran to its Instructor's defence. "Aw, Prundis, you know it wasn't Grap's fault. It was just a little accident." "_Just_ an accident?" Prundis countered drily. "You neglected to factor in lightspeed lag when making observations to determine coordinates and lost yourself halfway across the universe! It took me three weeks to locate you! I was worried sick, Arc." Rated G. Suitable for macrolevel quantum explicate children of all ages. Referenced podcasts: Skepticality Hooting Yard Epistaxis Time For,Kids,,OK,for,Kids,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2005/08/16/review-katamari-damacy/ http://escapepod.org/2005/08/16/review-katamari-damacy/#comments Wed, 17 Aug 2005 03:45:08 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=49 http://escapepod.org/2005/08/16/review-katamari-damacy/feed/ 2 00:01:01 A video game by Keita Takahashi. Reviewed by Stephen Eley. A video game by Keita Takahashi. Reviewed by Stephen Eley. For,Kids,,OK,for,Kids,,Podcasts,,Reviews Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2005/07/28/ep012-clean-up-your-room/ http://escapepod.org/2005/07/28/ep012-clean-up-your-room/#comments Thu, 28 Jul 2005 05:27:14 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=43 http://escapepod.org/2005/07/28/ep012-clean-up-your-room/feed/ 8 00:01:01 By Laura Anne Gilman. Read by Mur Lafferty. All stories by Laura Anne Gilman All stories read by Mur Lafferty "Jessy, put that away and come eat breakfast. ... By Laura Anne Gilman. Read by Mur Lafferty. All stories by Laura Anne Gilman All stories read by Mur Lafferty "Jessy, put that away and come eat breakfast. You won't get anything useful done on an empty stomach." The voice was the usual gender-neutral computer-generated drone, and yet it sounded different to her this morning. Obviously, the tone modifiers Gregory had suggested were working, too. That was going to be a selling point for everyone yelping about the dehumanization of home life. In a few generations, they'd be able to personalize the voice, maybe even to customer order. Rated G. Contains intense maternal nagging and disturbing chorework. May not be suitable for some adults. For,Kids,,OK,for,Kids,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2005/07/21/ep011-herd-mentality/ http://escapepod.org/2005/07/21/ep011-herd-mentality/#comments Thu, 21 Jul 2005 06:08:48 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=41 http://escapepod.org/2005/07/21/ep011-herd-mentality/feed/ 3 00:01:01 By Jay Caselberg. Read by Stephen Eley. All stories by Jay Caselberg All stories read by Stephen Eley Einstein was getting old now. All of them. Not ... By Jay Caselberg. Read by Stephen Eley. All stories by Jay Caselberg All stories read by Stephen Eley Einstein was getting old now. All of them. Not so old that he was past it, but you had to wonder. When our troops liberated the Spemann Lab complex in 1945, the Einsteins had been just five years old. The Government had done the humanitarian thing and brought them back home. Eventually, someone had leaked the information and slowly, slowly, public pressure and outrage had grown. The big hush-hush operation our government had mounted was shut down and the Einsteins were released sbquo;Auml;igrave; or rather, they were integrated into society in a humanitarian manner. That was the wording the government press releases used. Two hundred and fifty is a lot of Einsteins. Rated G. Suitable for world-dominating clone armies of all ages. For,Kids,,OK,for,Kids,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2005/07/18/ep-flash-paradox/ http://escapepod.org/2005/07/18/ep-flash-paradox/#comments Mon, 18 Jul 2005 04:41:30 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=40 http://escapepod.org/2005/07/18/ep-flash-paradox/feed/ 3 00:01:01 By Scott Janssens. Read by Paul S. Jenkins (of Rev Up Review). All stories by Scott Janssens All stories read by Paul S. Jenkins. I saw nothing when I ... By Scott Janssens. Read by Paul S. Jenkins (of Rev Up Review). All stories by Scott Janssens All stories read by Paul S. Jenkins. I saw nothing when I looked through the eyepiece Franz handed me and told him so. "Of course not," said Franz. "Right now, the time sight is set to look into the future. From this point in time, the future doesn't exist yet, not in any meaningful way, so it can't be seen." Flash,,For,Kids,,OK,for,Kids,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2005/07/11/ep-flash-slicing/ http://escapepod.org/2005/07/11/ep-flash-slicing/#comments Tue, 12 Jul 2005 03:14:36 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=38 http://escapepod.org/2005/07/11/ep-flash-slicing/feed/ 2 00:01:01 By Greg van Eekhout. Read by Stephen Eley. All stories by Greg van Eekhout All stories read by Stephen Eley. The fact is, almost any new knife can cut ... By Greg van Eekhout. Read by Stephen Eley. All stories by Greg van Eekhout All stories read by Stephen Eley. The fact is, almost any new knife can cut through an aluminum can and then slice a tomato with equal ease. Don't believe me, buy a new cheap knife and try it yourself. The pitch man hacks through a tree branch. He cuts a radiator hose. And this ho-hum humbug works. If he hammered a nail with his shoe people would buy nine pair, as long as they came with a free shoehorn and an extra pair of laces. Flash,,For,Kids,,OK,for,Kids,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2005/07/07/ep009-jack/ http://escapepod.org/2005/07/07/ep009-jack/#comments Thu, 07 Jul 2005 05:23:11 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=36 http://escapepod.org/2005/07/07/ep009-jack/feed/ 5 00:01:01 By Justin Stanchfield. Read by Deborah Green. All stories by Justin Stanchfield All stories read by Deborah Green. "That truly is a fine heifer, and any man would be ... By Justin Stanchfield. Read by Deborah Green. All stories by Justin Stanchfield All stories read by Deborah Green. "That truly is a fine heifer, and any man would be proud to own her." "Well..." said Jack, hope rising. "I suppose she might be for sale, if that is your meaning." "It is." The stranger dug inside the pocket of his slick and shiny coat, and brought out a small lead case. The lid clicked open and he turned in over in his hand, three shimmering beads rolling in his palm. He offered them to Jack. "What are those?" Jack frowned, suspicious once more. "What are they? They might be beans." The stranger laughed. "Then again, they might be more precious than rubies, mightn't they? Truth of the matter, I'm not certain what they are, only that they are beyond any worth you can imagine." Rated G. Contains cattle theft, kidnapping, and crimes against fashion. For,Kids,,OK,for,Kids,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2005/07/04/ep-review-lego-moonbase-project/ http://escapepod.org/2005/07/04/ep-review-lego-moonbase-project/#comments Tue, 05 Jul 2005 00:15:21 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=35 http://escapepod.org/2005/07/04/ep-review-lego-moonbase-project/feed/ 0 00:01:01 An open standard for collaborative LEGO displays. Reviewed by David Lukens. Download the Escape Pod Review. An open standard for collaborative LEGO displays. Reviewed by David Lukens. Download the Escape Pod Review. For,Kids,,OK,for,Kids,,Podcasts,,Reviews Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2005/06/20/ep-flash-airedale/ http://escapepod.org/2005/06/20/ep-flash-airedale/#comments Tue, 21 Jun 2005 03:21:18 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=29 http://escapepod.org/2005/06/20/ep-flash-airedale/feed/ 4 00:01:01 By Greg van Eekhout. Read by Anna Eley. I never doubted Dolly would place high. Best of Breed at the very least. When it came to official ... By Greg van Eekhout. Read by Anna Eley. I never doubted Dolly would place high. Best of Breed at the very least. When it came to official conformation standards, my Airedale bitch made other dogs look like pigs and weasels. Flash,,For,Kids,,OK,for,Kids,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No