http://escapepod.org The Science Fiction Podcast Magazine. Each week Escape Pod delivers science fiction short stories from today's best authors. Listen today, and hear the new sound of science fiction! Fri, 25 May 2012 21:12:36 +0000 en hourly 1 2005-2012 http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/3.0 editor@escapepod.org (Mur Lafferty) editor@escapepod.org (Mur Lafferty) science fiction 1440 http://escapepod.org/wp-content/images/pod-org-icon300.jpg http://escapepod.org 144 144 The Science Fiction Podcast Magazine The Science Fiction Podcast Magazine. Each week Escape Pod delivers science fiction short stories from today's best authors. Listen today, and hear the new sound of science fiction! science fiction, sf, stories, audiobooks, storytelling, fiction, short fiction, short story Mur Lafferty Mur Lafferty editor@escapepod.org no no http://escapepod.org/2012/01/06/ep326-flash-fiction-special/ http://escapepod.org/2012/01/06/ep326-flash-fiction-special/#comments Fri, 06 Jan 2012 11:55:35 +0000 Mur Lafferty http://escapepod.org/?p=2949 http://escapepod.org/2012/01/06/ep326-flash-fiction-special/feed/ 0 0:45:58 Poppies and Chrome by Sylvia Hiven Rabbi Aaron Meets Satan by Tim Lieder Fine-Tuning the Universe by Merrie Haskell narrated by Mat Weller, author Richard E. Dansky, and Mur Lafferty Discuss on our forums. Appropriate for teens and up due to erotic[...] Poppies and Chrome by Sylvia Hiven Rabbi Aaron Meets Satan by Tim Lieder Fine-Tuning the Universe by Merrie Haskell narrated by Mat Weller, author Richard E. Dansky, and Mur Lafferty Discuss on our forums. Appropriate for teens and up due to erotic imagery and language. Flash, Podcasts Mur Lafferty no no http://escapepod.org/2011/09/15/ep310-flash-extravaganza/ http://escapepod.org/2011/09/15/ep310-flash-extravaganza/#comments Fri, 16 Sep 2011 01:10:07 +0000 Mur Lafferty http://escapepod.org/?p=2651 http://escapepod.org/2011/09/15/ep310-flash-extravaganza/feed/ 0 0:00:01 Another helping of flash! Jenna’s Clocks by T. F. Davenport (narrator Jean Hilde-Fulghum) Wetware Woes by J. J. DeBenedictis (narrator Mur Lafferty) End of the World or Not, I Still Have Feelings by Daniel Morris (narrator- Barry Haworth) The [...] Another helping of flash! Jenna’s Clocks by T. F. Davenport (narrator Jean Hilde-Fulghum) Wetware Woes by J. J. DeBenedictis (narrator Mur Lafferty) End of the World or Not, I Still Have Feelings by Daniel Morris (narrator- Barry Haworth) The Best Cover Band in the Universe by Andrew Fazzari (narrator- John Anealio) – Honorable Mention for the Escape Pod 2010 Flash Contest! Discuss on our forums. Flash, Podcasts Various Artists no no http://escapepod.org/2011/07/21/ep302-flash-extravaganza/ http://escapepod.org/2011/07/21/ep302-flash-extravaganza/#comments Fri, 22 Jul 2011 01:03:23 +0000 Mur Lafferty http://escapepod.org/?p=2457 http://escapepod.org/2011/07/21/ep302-flash-extravaganza/feed/ 0 0:35:59 Winners of our 2010 Flash Contest! London Iron by William R. Halliar (narrator Andrew Richardson) Wheels of Blue Stilton by Nicholas J. Carter (narrator Christian Brady) Light and Lies by Gideon Fostick (narrator- Mur Lafferty) All Escape Pod Origi[...] Winners of our 2010 Flash Contest! London Iron by William R. Halliar (narrator Andrew Richardson) Wheels of Blue Stilton by Nicholas J. Carter (narrator Christian Brady) Light and Lies by Gideon Fostick (narrator- Mur Lafferty) All Escape Pod Originals! And we end with a grand “It’s Storytime” montage put together by Marshal Latham! Discuss on our forums. Best-Of, Flash, Podcasts Mur Lafferty no no http://escapepod.org/2011/04/22/ep289-flash-contest-honorable-mentions/ http://escapepod.org/2011/04/22/ep289-flash-contest-honorable-mentions/#comments Fri, 22 Apr 2011 20:47:08 +0000 Bill Peters http://escapepod.org/?p=2109 http://escapepod.org/2011/04/22/ep289-flash-contest-honorable-mentions/feed/ 0 0:00:01 This episode has three of the honorable mentions from the flash contest we held on our forums. You can, perhaps unsurprisingly, discuss this episode on our forums. Rated PG for some naughty language in Many Mistakes. Episode 37 – Captain Max S[...] This episode has three of the honorable mentions from the flash contest we held on our forums. You can, perhaps unsurprisingly, discuss this episode on our forums. Rated PG for some naughty language in Many Mistakes. Episode 37 – Captain Max Stone versus DESTRUCTOBOT! By Angela Lee Read by: Joshua McNichols When last we left our heroes, Captain Max Stone and his brother Billy had just navigated Hyperion’s perilous asteroid field and battled their way into the fortified base of the villainous robot Destructobot. The dastardly robot’s latest scheme is the deadliest yet – he intends to destroy the Earth using a high-powered negabomb! Will Max stop Destructobot in time? Or will the earth be vaporized? Many Mistakes, All Out of Order By M.C. Wagner Read by: Wilson Fowlie The first mistake was in our thinking they were ghosts. In our defense, the tradition of vanishing, translucent figures wailing in the night might’ve influenced us. Mr. Omega By Arnold Gardner Read By: Marshall Latham Mr. Omega checked the time on his trans-dimensional pocket watch and stared out the taxi’s rain pelted window. Four minutes to midnight. Four minutes to the culmination of his life’s work. Flash, Podcasts Mur Lafferty no no http://escapepod.org/2009/12/31/ep232-flash-special/ http://escapepod.org/2009/12/31/ep232-flash-special/#comments Thu, 31 Dec 2009 23:07:40 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=561 http://escapepod.org/2009/12/31/ep232-flash-special/feed/ 0 0:26:54 This week Escape Pod presents three flash stories: Alloy By Marissa Lingen. Read by Electra Allenton. First appeared in Nature, September 2007. Flare By Kyle Deas. Read by Stephen Eley. My Grandfather’s River By Brenda Cooper. Read by Anna Ele[...] This week Escape Pod presents three flash stories: Alloy By Marissa Lingen. Read by Electra Allenton. First appeared in Nature, September 2007. Flare By Kyle Deas. Read by Stephen Eley. My Grandfather’s River By Brenda Cooper. Read by Anna Eley. First appeared in Nature, August 2006. Rated PG. Can get a bit sad in places. Referenced Sites: Cybrosis — A podcast novel by P.C. Haring Flash, Podcasts Marissa Lingen, Kyle Deas, and Brenda Cooper no no http://escapepod.org/2009/06/15/escape-pod-flash-tired/ http://escapepod.org/2009/06/15/escape-pod-flash-tired/#comments Mon, 15 Jun 2009 04:01:29 +0000 worldsoftomorrow http://escapepod.org/?p=361 http://escapepod.org/2009/06/15/escape-pod-flash-tired/feed/ 13 0:11:02 By Michael Bishop Read by John Meagher One morning, Gordon Pointer received an e-message from the left-front Goodstone tire on his old Callisto sedan. (He had bought the car used over a decade ago and retrofitted it for the intelligent interstates [...] By Michael Bishop Read by John Meagher One morning, Gordon Pointer received an e-message from the left-front Goodstone tire on his old Callisto sedan. (He had bought the car used over a decade ago and retrofitted it for the intelligent interstates of the Piedmont metrosprawl.) Gordon abhorred palmflips, infraspecs, logomaniacs, microserfs, lapcops, and digital Kleenex, but he lived at the computerminal in his Callisto, journeying between office foci to talk with other human fossils like himself. He did not quail before occasional sitreps from his lead tire. Rated PG for a worryingly low miles per gallon Flash, Podcasts Michael Bishop no no http://escapepod.org/2009/06/08/escape-pod-flash-one-trick-dog/ http://escapepod.org/2009/06/08/escape-pod-flash-one-trick-dog/#comments Mon, 08 Jun 2009 04:01:08 +0000 worldsoftomorrow http://escapepod.org/?p=360 http://escapepod.org/2009/06/08/escape-pod-flash-one-trick-dog/feed/ 12 0:06:19 By Bruce Boston Read by J.C. Hutchins Mr. Wayne was taking his daily exercise, walking Arthur around the lake in Nevley Park, when the sky darkened and a light snow began to fall. A few flakes fluttered against his cheeks. He could feel the cold thr[...] By Bruce Boston Read by J.C. Hutchins Mr. Wayne was taking his daily exercise, walking Arthur around the lake in Nevley Park, when the sky darkened and a light snow began to fall. A few flakes fluttered against his cheeks. He could feel the cold through his heavy topcoat. He enjoyed the park when it was deserted, but at his age he couldn’t afford a chill. He thumbed the control in his pocket. Arthur turned left onto a bridge that would cut their return journey by a good half mile. Mr. Wayne followed. Rated K9 for dogs at the cutting edge. Flash, Podcasts Bruce Boston no no http://escapepod.org/2009/06/01/escape-pod-flash-patent-infringement/ http://escapepod.org/2009/06/01/escape-pod-flash-patent-infringement/#comments Mon, 01 Jun 2009 04:01:41 +0000 worldsoftomorrow http://escapepod.org/?p=358 http://escapepod.org/2009/06/01/escape-pod-flash-patent-infringement/feed/ 12 0:11:22 By Nancy Kress Read by Steve Anderson Kegelman-Ballston Corporation is proud to announce the first public release of its new drug, Halitex, which cures Ulbarton’s Flu completely after one ten-pill course of treatment. Ulbarton’s Flu, as the public[...] By Nancy Kress Read by Steve Anderson Kegelman-Ballston Corporation is proud to announce the first public release of its new drug, Halitex, which cures Ulbarton’s Flu completely after one ten-pill course of treatment. Ulbarton’s Flu, as the public knows all too well, now afflicts upwards of thirty million Americans, with the number growing daily as the highly contagious flu spreads. Halitex “flu-proofs” the body by inserting genes tailored to confer immunity to this persistent and debilitating scourge, whose symptoms include coughing, muscle aches, and fatigue. Because the virus remains in the body even after symptoms disappear, Ulbarton’s Flu can recur in a given patient at any time. Halitex renders each recurrence ineffectual. Rated PG after intensive clinical testing. Flash, Podcasts Nancy Kress no no http://escapepod.org/2009/05/25/escape-pod-flash-taco/ http://escapepod.org/2009/05/25/escape-pod-flash-taco/#comments Mon, 25 May 2009 04:01:38 +0000 worldsoftomorrow http://escapepod.org/?p=359 http://escapepod.org/2009/05/25/escape-pod-flash-taco/feed/ 15 0:03:03 By Greg Van Eekhout Read by John Meagher “Hey, tell me, this look like Jesus to you?” I come to Tito’s Tacos for a lot of reasons. The freeway overpass ambience, the way the old men in the kitchen wrap the burritos tighter than Cub[...] By Greg Van Eekhout Read by John Meagher “Hey, tell me, this look like Jesus to you?” I come to Tito’s Tacos for a lot of reasons. The freeway overpass ambience, the way the old men in the kitchen wrap the burritos tighter than Cuban cigars, the shiny Kennedy 50-cent pieces you always get as part of your change. A lot of reasons. But conversation isn’t among them. Nonetheless, I dutifully look up from my lunch to see what the guy at the next table over is talking about. Rated PG for a possibly edible messiah Flash, Podcasts Greg Van Eekhout no no http://escapepod.org/2009/05/19/escape-pod-flash-betting-the-family-farm/ http://escapepod.org/2009/05/19/escape-pod-flash-betting-the-family-farm/#comments Tue, 19 May 2009 12:00:09 +0000 worldsoftomorrow http://escapepod.org/?p=356 http://escapepod.org/2009/05/19/escape-pod-flash-betting-the-family-farm/feed/ 7 0:07:27 By Wenonah Lyon Read by Elie Hirschman It had originally thought the goal was to hit the two small creatures in the distance. They appeared to be identical to the three creatures whom he had joined in the game. First approximation: separated by som[...] By Wenonah Lyon Read by Elie Hirschman It had originally thought the goal was to hit the two small creatures in the distance. They appeared to be identical to the three creatures whom he had joined in the game. First approximation: separated by some distance, one attempts to down the group ahead of one using one of many metal-tipped sticks (called ‘clubs’) to ‘drive’ a small, hard ball. Those behind would, presumably, be attempting to hit one. So, one dodged and drove. Rated PG for frequent golf horror Flash, Podcasts Wenonah Lyon no no http://escapepod.org/2009/05/18/escape-pod-flash-off-base/ http://escapepod.org/2009/05/18/escape-pod-flash-off-base/#comments Mon, 18 May 2009 04:01:11 +0000 worldsoftomorrow http://escapepod.org/?p=357 http://escapepod.org/2009/05/18/escape-pod-flash-off-base/feed/ 22 0:00:01 By Stevens R. Miller Read by Steve Anderson Her boyfriend put a slim hand to his forehead, as though shielding his eyes from sunlight, even though the sun had set some minutes before. Where the girl had pointed was a bright star, moving east. Rated [...] By Stevens R. Miller Read by Steve Anderson Her boyfriend put a slim hand to his forehead, as though shielding his eyes from sunlight, even though the sun had set some minutes before. Where the girl had pointed was a bright star, moving east. Rated PG for frequent golf horror Flash, Podcasts Stevens R. Miller no no http://escapepod.org/2009/05/06/escape-pod-flash-get-me-to-the-job-on-time/ http://escapepod.org/2009/05/06/escape-pod-flash-get-me-to-the-job-on-time/#comments Wed, 06 May 2009 11:41:07 +0000 worldsoftomorrow http://escapepod.org/?p=355 http://escapepod.org/2009/05/06/escape-pod-flash-get-me-to-the-job-on-time/feed/ 12 0:06:29 By Ian Randal Strock Read by Elie Hirschman “Maybe it’s what you’d do with the knowledge that determines whether or not you’ll discover the secret of time travel.” “What?” I asked the old man. “I know [...] By Ian Randal Strock Read by Elie Hirschman “Maybe it’s what you’d do with the knowledge that determines whether or not you’ll discover the secret of time travel.” “What?” I asked the old man. “I know for a fact that time travel is possible. I knew the man who discovered it. And you’ll never guess what he used his discovery for.” Well, I didn’t believe that old man any more than you believe me, but we’d been waiting in that airport for four hours, so I humored him. “All right, I’ll bite,” I said. “What did he use time travel for?” “Wally didn’t need to see the pyramids getting built, or sail with Columbus, or even watch JFK’s assassination. What Wally wanted to do, more than anything, was get to work on time.” An introduction like that demands a story, so I sat down and let him tell me. Flash, Podcasts Ian Randal Strock no no http://escapepod.org/2009/04/30/episode-197-from-babels-falln-glory-we-fled/ http://escapepod.org/2009/04/30/episode-197-from-babels-falln-glory-we-fled/#comments Thu, 30 Apr 2009 19:59:54 +0000 JeremyT http://escapepod.org/?p=365 http://escapepod.org/2009/04/30/episode-197-from-babels-falln-glory-we-fled/feed/ 30 0:59:00 By Michael Swanwick Read by Sarah Tolbert First appeared in Asimov’s Feb 2008 Imagine a cross between Byzantium and a termite mound. Imagine a jeweled mountain, slender as an icicle, rising out of the steam jungles and disappearing into the [...] By Michael Swanwick Read by Sarah Tolbert First appeared in Asimov’s Feb 2008 Imagine a cross between Byzantium and a termite mound. Imagine a jeweled mountain, slender as an icicle, rising out of the steam jungles and disappearing into the dazzling pearl-grey skies of Gehenna. Imagine that Gaudí—he of the Segrada Familia and other biomorphic architectural whimsies—had been commissioned by a nightmare race of giant black millipedes to recreate Barcelona at the height of its glory, along with touches of the Forbidden City in the eighteenth century and Tokyo in the twenty-second, all within a single miles-high structure. Hold every bit of that in your mind at once, multiply by a thousand, and you’ve got only the faintest ghost of a notion of the splendor that was Babel. Now imagine being inside Babel when it fell. Rated PG. Contains the destruction of cities, a lack of trust, and sentient suits. Flash, Podcasts Mur Lafferty no no http://escapepod.org/2009/04/27/escape-pod-flash-semi-autonamous-or-for-whom-the-warranty-tolls/ http://escapepod.org/2009/04/27/escape-pod-flash-semi-autonamous-or-for-whom-the-warranty-tolls/#comments Mon, 27 Apr 2009 13:26:54 +0000 worldsoftomorrow http://escapepod.org/?p=353 http://escapepod.org/2009/04/27/escape-pod-flash-semi-autonamous-or-for-whom-the-warranty-tolls/feed/ 20 0:06:31 By Jim Kling. Read by Rachel Swirsky. All stories by Jim Kling. All stories read by Rachel Swirsky. Hello, you have reached Jim’s semi-autonomous answering machine. Leave a message and I will have him return your call. Hello, you have reac[...] By Jim Kling. Read by Rachel Swirsky. All stories by Jim Kling. All stories read by Rachel Swirsky. Hello, you have reached Jim’s semi-autonomous answering machine. Leave a message and I will have him return your call. Hello, you have reached Jim’s semi-autonomous answering machine. He will be hosting his birthday party on Saturday night. If you plan to attend, press ‘one’ and then speak your name. I will add you to the guest list. Otherwise, leave a message and I will make sure he receives it. Hello, you have reached Jim’s semi-autonomous answering machine. My records indicate that you have previously RSVP’d for the Saturday night party. Please indicate your alcohol preference. For beer, press ‘one.’ For wine, press ‘two.’ For mixed drinks, press ‘three.’ If you prefer non-alcoholic beverages, press ‘four.’ This information will be used for ordering purposes only, transmitted through my wireless connection to Jim’s refrigerator, which in turn is linked to an online grocery. For more information about AutonomInc’s SmartAppliance line, please view our web site at www.autonominc.com. “AutonomInc: We give a whole new meaning to housework!” If you have a message for Jim, please leave it now. Rated PG and now available in a wide variety of colours! Flash, Podcasts Jim Kling no no http://escapepod.org/2009/04/20/escape-pod-flash-chump-change/ http://escapepod.org/2009/04/20/escape-pod-flash-chump-change/#comments Mon, 20 Apr 2009 14:46:33 +0000 worldsoftomorrow http://escapepod.org/?p=354 http://escapepod.org/2009/04/20/escape-pod-flash-chump-change/feed/ 8 0:07:51 By Pete Butler Read by Jake Squid It’s going to be the Three of Clubs. I know this, as certainly as I know my own name. I’m less sure about some things than my fans would think. But sometimes, the swirling laws governing what _may_ ha[...] By Pete Butler Read by Jake Squid It’s going to be the Three of Clubs. I know this, as certainly as I know my own name. I’m less sure about some things than my fans would think. But sometimes, the swirling laws governing what _may_ happen coalesce into what _will_ happen with astonishing clarity. The sun will rise tomorrow, the Pirates will beat the Mets tonight, and as soon as I announce my “guess,” the Three of Clubs will appear on the monitor in front of me. “Jack of Spades,” I proclaim, full of conviction. The monitor flickers, and is suddenly filled by a pixilated version of the Three of Clubs. Rated PG for…welll, you already know why, don’t you? Flash, Podcasts, Uncategorized Pete Butler no no http://escapepod.org/2009/04/14/escape-pod-flash-the-sincerest-form/ http://escapepod.org/2009/04/14/escape-pod-flash-the-sincerest-form/#comments Tue, 14 Apr 2009 15:52:02 +0000 worldsoftomorrow http://escapepod.org/?p=352 http://escapepod.org/2009/04/14/escape-pod-flash-the-sincerest-form/feed/ 9 0:08:07 By W.G. Hopkins Read by Alasdair Stuart Bars of light crossed my desk, carved from the sun by the open window. The scent of hot asphalt rose from the path that led to the capitol buildings. Beside me, Dr. Singh motioned for the guards to bring in D[...] By W.G. Hopkins Read by Alasdair Stuart Bars of light crossed my desk, carved from the sun by the open window. The scent of hot asphalt rose from the path that led to the capitol buildings. Beside me, Dr. Singh motioned for the guards to bring in Dr. Norman Terriault. He looked pale. I motioned for him to sit. The guards stood on either side. The officer saluted. I closed the window. A faint buzzing hovered in the air. “Why me?” Terriault asked. “You must be familiar with the work of the Imitant Office,” Singh consulted his tablet, “Dr. Terriault.” “I’m just like both of you.” Terriault leaned forward, the guards pulled him back. “Apparently,” I said. Rated PG for low intensity inter-species conflict Flash, Podcasts W.G Hopkins no no http://escapepod.org/2009/04/06/escape-pod-flash-grandpa/ http://escapepod.org/2009/04/06/escape-pod-flash-grandpa/#comments Mon, 06 Apr 2009 17:00:22 +0000 worldsoftomorrow http://escapepod.org/?p=350 http://escapepod.org/2009/04/06/escape-pod-flash-grandpa/feed/ 12 0:05:43 By Edward M Lerner Read by Ben Phillips The lecture hall was pleasantly warm. Behind Prof. Thaddeus Fitch, busily writing on the chalkboard, pencils scratched earnestly in spiral notebooks, fluorescent lights hummed, feet shuffled. A Beach Boys tu[...] By Edward M Lerner Read by Ben Phillips The lecture hall was pleasantly warm. Behind Prof. Thaddeus Fitch, busily writing on the chalkboard, pencils scratched earnestly in spiral notebooks, fluorescent lights hummed, feet shuffled. A Beach Boys tune wafted in through open windows from the quad. “And so,” he continued, “travel backwards in time would violate causality, and hence appears to be impossible.” He turned to face the class. “The problem is most commonly illustrated with the ‘Grandfather Paradox.’ Rated PG for paradoxical violence. Be sure to check out Mr. Lerner’s new book, FOOLS’ EXPERIMENTS. Flash Edward M. Lerner no no http://escapepod.org/2009/03/31/a-preference-for-silence/ http://escapepod.org/2009/03/31/a-preference-for-silence/#comments Tue, 31 Mar 2009 17:56:33 +0000 JeremyT http://escapepod.org/?p=349 http://escapepod.org/2009/03/31/a-preference-for-silence/feed/ 8 0:06:01 By Lucy A. Snyder Read by Ann Leckie Veronica was a spaceworthy lass with a definite preference for silence and a sensitivity to detail. She’d never lost her tea in zero gee and had always been the first to note when the coffee maker needed [...] By Lucy A. Snyder Read by Ann Leckie Veronica was a spaceworthy lass with a definite preference for silence and a sensitivity to detail. She’d never lost her tea in zero gee and had always been the first to note when the coffee maker needed cleaning or when the fluorescent lights would flick-flicker in signal of the bulbs’ impending death. Rated R. Contains sexual situations and noisy people. Flash, Podcasts Lucy A. Snyder no no http://escapepod.org/2009/03/23/escape-pod-flash-beachcomber/ http://escapepod.org/2009/03/23/escape-pod-flash-beachcomber/#comments Mon, 23 Mar 2009 05:01:27 +0000 Rachel http://escapepod.org/?p=334 http://escapepod.org/2009/03/23/escape-pod-flash-beachcomber/feed/ 9 0:09:05 By Mike Resnick Read by Elie Hirschman Discuss on our forums. First appeared in Baen’s Universe, October 2008. All stories by Mike Resnick. All stories read by Elie Hirschman. Arlo didn’t look much like a man. (Not all robots do, you kno[...] By Mike Resnick Read by Elie Hirschman Discuss on our forums. First appeared in Baen’s Universe, October 2008. All stories by Mike Resnick. All stories read by Elie Hirschman. Arlo didn’t look much like a man. (Not all robots do, you know.) The problem was that he didn’t act all that much like a robot. Rated PG. Contains hopes that will never be fulfilled. Flash, Podcasts Mike Resnick no no http://escapepod.org/2009/03/16/escape-pod-flash-it-was-death-by-a-bullet-but-i-was-killed-by-a-woman/ http://escapepod.org/2009/03/16/escape-pod-flash-it-was-death-by-a-bullet-but-i-was-killed-by-a-woman/#comments Mon, 16 Mar 2009 05:01:46 +0000 Rachel http://escapepod.org/?p=333 http://escapepod.org/2009/03/16/escape-pod-flash-it-was-death-by-a-bullet-but-i-was-killed-by-a-woman/feed/ 11 0:04:37 By Michael Bekemeyer Read by Alasdair Stuart (of Pseudopod) I have a special skill. I am a part of a small group of people on this planet that can do special things with their minds. You have your mind readers, your empaths — and you have peop[...] By Michael Bekemeyer Read by Alasdair Stuart (of Pseudopod) I have a special skill. I am a part of a small group of people on this planet that can do special things with their minds. You have your mind readers, your empaths — and you have people like me who can control things through telekinesis. I have always been able to move things, just by thinking about it. It always came in helpful when playing golf. Rated R. Contains sex and violence. Flash, Podcasts, Uncategorized Michael Bekemeyer no no http://escapepod.org/2009/03/09/escape-pod-flash-my-angel-gabriel/ http://escapepod.org/2009/03/09/escape-pod-flash-my-angel-gabriel/#comments Mon, 09 Mar 2009 05:01:55 +0000 Rachel http://escapepod.org/?p=332 http://escapepod.org/2009/03/09/escape-pod-flash-my-angel-gabriel/feed/ 14 0:03:47 By J. R. Blackwell Read by Ann Leckie (of PodCastle) “Becky.” Typed Rachel “I had to ban him. I’m sorry. He was a bot, a spider, a program. He wasn’t human.” Becky’s green words glowed on her screen almost i[...] By J. R. Blackwell Read by Ann Leckie (of PodCastle) “Becky.” Typed Rachel “I had to ban him. I’m sorry. He was a bot, a spider, a program. He wasn’t human.” Becky’s green words glowed on her screen almost immediately. “He talked to me! Every day! What do you mean he wasn’t human?” Rachel exhaled; this was going to be tough. “Didn’t you notice he kept trying to get you to buy games?” “I like buying games! Who cares? I really liked Gabriel. You two were the only people on this forum I could talk to.” Rated R. Models internet behavior you wouldn’t want your children to emulate. Flash, Podcasts J. R. Blackwell no no http://escapepod.org/2008/12/29/escape-pod-flash-standards/ http://escapepod.org/2008/12/29/escape-pod-flash-standards/#comments Tue, 30 Dec 2008 02:26:46 +0000 Rachel http://escapepod.org/?p=331 http://escapepod.org/2008/12/29/escape-pod-flash-standards/feed/ 11 0:04:24 By Richard K. Lyon. Read by Frank Key (of Hooting Yard). All stories by Richard K. Lyon. All stories read by Frank Key. After careful examination of your manuscript no 113785, Corbamite, An Insulator Against Gravity, the editors of Review of Physics[...] By Richard K. Lyon. Read by Frank Key (of Hooting Yard). All stories by Richard K. Lyon. All stories read by Frank Key. After careful examination of your manuscript no 113785, Corbamite, An Insulator Against Gravity, the editors of Review of Physics have concluded that it is not suitable for publication in this journal. This decision is final and further correspondence on this subject will serve no useful purpose. Since the above may seem somewhat harsh, let me say what I can to mitigate it. The editors do appreciate that you are working under difficult circumstances: when the senior author of a paper is deceased, it is always hard for the junior author to complete the work in an appropriate manner. Also let us assure you that we do believe you. You have told us that with his dying breath Professor Steinhardt handed you his notebook and said, “Have this published in Review of Physics.” Such an action would be completely in character for Steinhardt since he was a true scientist. As for your claim that Professor Steinhardt made this statement as he was expiring from disintegrator rays wounds suffered during your escape from the City of Disembodied Brains on Altair IV, our believing that is a somewhat different matter but we need to go into that. Rated G. Contains proven impossibilities. Statement from Rachel Swirsky: Richard K. Lyon died on November 21. When I contacted him last month to ask if he still wanted this piece to run on our podcast, he said that the doctors didn’t give him long, but that he hoped this would give the world “one last laugh.” Escape Artists dedicates this production to his memory. We wish the best to him, and to his family. Flash, Podcasts Mur Lafferty no no http://escapepod.org/2008/12/06/escape-pod-flash-fiction-contest-honorable-mention-silence/ http://escapepod.org/2008/12/06/escape-pod-flash-fiction-contest-honorable-mention-silence/#comments Sat, 06 Dec 2008 05:00:28 +0000 Rachel http://escapepod.org/?p=329 http://escapepod.org/2008/12/06/escape-pod-flash-fiction-contest-honorable-mention-silence/feed/ 9 0:02:42 by Rachel Swirsky. Read by Ann Leckie.   Whatever the midwife told you, it’s not true. I cannot walk through walls. I cannot conjure a chicken and make it dance or start a fire with my fingers. I cannot shape familiars from fog or examine [...] by Rachel Swirsky. Read by Ann Leckie.   Whatever the midwife told you, it’s not true. I cannot walk through walls. I cannot conjure a chicken and make it dance or start a fire with my fingers. I cannot shape familiars from fog or examine entrails to see if a man will die. I cannot resurrect your son. Rated PG. Flash, Podcasts, Uncategorized Rachel Swirsky no no http://escapepod.org/2008/12/05/escape-pod-flash-fiction-contest-honorable-mention-hello-i-love-you/ http://escapepod.org/2008/12/05/escape-pod-flash-fiction-contest-honorable-mention-hello-i-love-you/#comments Fri, 05 Dec 2008 05:00:33 +0000 Rachel http://escapepod.org/?p=330 http://escapepod.org/2008/12/05/escape-pod-flash-fiction-contest-honorable-mention-hello-i-love-you/feed/ 5 0:03:11 By Katherine Sparrow. Read by Rachel Swirsky. All stories by Katherine Sparrow All stories read by Rachel Swirsky “Junk DNA? I’ll junk your DNA!” Sofia glared at Zorg. “Apologies. It is only, don’t you find it interest[...] By Katherine Sparrow. Read by Rachel Swirsky. All stories by Katherine Sparrow All stories read by Rachel Swirsky “Junk DNA? I’ll junk your DNA!” Sofia glared at Zorg. “Apologies. It is only, don’t you find it interesting? Most of it is unused–” “Junk? You supercilious aliens come to Earth to rein snottiness on us lowly humans? How sublime. I suppose your DNA is full of Porsches?” Rated PG. Flash, Podcasts Katherine Sparrow no no http://escapepod.org/2008/12/04/escape-pod-flash-fiction-contest-honorable-mention-the-way-before/ http://escapepod.org/2008/12/04/escape-pod-flash-fiction-contest-honorable-mention-the-way-before/#comments Thu, 04 Dec 2008 05:00:11 +0000 Rachel http://escapepod.org/?p=328 http://escapepod.org/2008/12/04/escape-pod-flash-fiction-contest-honorable-mention-the-way-before/feed/ 6 0:02:51 By Anna Schwind Read by Ann Leckie When Chasca turned eleven, her father took her to a ship farm, to choose her vessel.  She stood on the observation deck, evaluating the herd.  Chasca selected the farthest ship.  It faced away from the others and[...] By Anna Schwind Read by Ann Leckie When Chasca turned eleven, her father took her to a ship farm, to choose her vessel.  She stood on the observation deck, evaluating the herd.  Chasca selected the farthest ship.  It faced away from the others and bumped the edges of the corral.  She understood.  Rated  G. Flash, Podcasts Anna Schwind no no http://escapepod.org/2008/12/02/escape-pod-flash-fiction-contest-honorable-mention-hoarding-colored-rags/ http://escapepod.org/2008/12/02/escape-pod-flash-fiction-contest-honorable-mention-hoarding-colored-rags/#comments Wed, 03 Dec 2008 02:00:11 +0000 Rachel http://escapepod.org/?p=327 http://escapepod.org/2008/12/02/escape-pod-flash-fiction-contest-honorable-mention-hoarding-colored-rags/feed/ 9 0:01:41 by Jared Axelrod (of The Voice of Free Planet X). Read by Mike Swirsky. I remember your touch, your taste, the way your mouth curled slightly when you said my name. Rated PG.  by Jared Axelrod (of The Voice of Free Planet X). Read by Mike Swirsky. I remember your touch, your taste, the way your mouth curled slightly when you said my name. Rated PG.  Flash, Podcasts Jared Axelrod no no http://escapepod.org/2008/12/01/escape-pod-flash-fiction-contest-honorable-mention-from-liquid-to-glass/ http://escapepod.org/2008/12/01/escape-pod-flash-fiction-contest-honorable-mention-from-liquid-to-glass/#comments Mon, 01 Dec 2008 05:00:02 +0000 Rachel http://escapepod.org/?p=326 http://escapepod.org/2008/12/01/escape-pod-flash-fiction-contest-honorable-mention-from-liquid-to-glass/feed/ 10 0:01:40 By J. R. Blackwell. Read by Rachel Swirsky (of PodCastle). He smelled like new cars and cologne, he moved with a measured rhythm. His mouth tasted like mint toothpaste. She looked over his shoulder through the white light of the window. She was swe[...] By J. R. Blackwell. Read by Rachel Swirsky (of PodCastle). He smelled like new cars and cologne, he moved with a measured rhythm. His mouth tasted like mint toothpaste. She looked over his shoulder through the white light of the window. She was sweating into her sheets, her breath silent, and her lips thin and tight. Rated R. Contains sex and melancholia. Flash, Podcasts J. R. Blackwell no no http://escapepod.org/2008/11/29/escape-pod-flash-fiction-contest-third-place-karakuri/ http://escapepod.org/2008/11/29/escape-pod-flash-fiction-contest-third-place-karakuri/#comments Sat, 29 Nov 2008 13:00:26 +0000 Rachel http://escapepod.org/?p=325 http://escapepod.org/2008/11/29/escape-pod-flash-fiction-contest-third-place-karakuri/feed/ 6 0:02:51 By Gideon Fostick. Read by Dave Leckie. Bill had no heart for this Karakuri, left behind in the empty house when his love had gone. Small and exquisite, propped at an angle on the tatami floor mat, it was the toughest puzzle he’d known.  Rated[...] By Gideon Fostick. Read by Dave Leckie. Bill had no heart for this Karakuri, left behind in the empty house when his love had gone. Small and exquisite, propped at an angle on the tatami floor mat, it was the toughest puzzle he’d known.  Rated PG. Contains puzzles. Flash, Podcasts Gideon Fostick no no http://escapepod.org/2008/11/28/escape-pod-flash-fiction-contest-second-place-skyscrapers/ http://escapepod.org/2008/11/28/escape-pod-flash-fiction-contest-second-place-skyscrapers/#comments Fri, 28 Nov 2008 18:00:54 +0000 Rachel http://escapepod.org/?p=324 http://escapepod.org/2008/11/28/escape-pod-flash-fiction-contest-second-place-skyscrapers/feed/ 5 0:02:53 by Rachel Swirsky read by Ann Leckie Summers, I sleep on rooftops. Under smokestacks, beside stairs, in the sudden green of precarious gardens. Rated PG. Contains mythical figures. by Rachel Swirsky read by Ann Leckie Summers, I sleep on rooftops. Under smokestacks, beside stairs, in the sudden green of precarious gardens. Rated PG. Contains mythical figures. Flash, Podcasts, Shoutouts Rachel Swirsky no no http://escapepod.org/2008/11/26/escape-pod-flash-fiction-contest-winner-mission-to-dover/ http://escapepod.org/2008/11/26/escape-pod-flash-fiction-contest-winner-mission-to-dover/#comments Wed, 26 Nov 2008 21:40:21 +0000 Rachel http://escapepod.org/?p=323 http://escapepod.org/2008/11/26/escape-pod-flash-fiction-contest-winner-mission-to-dover/feed/ 21 0:02:49 by Gideon Fostick. Read by Lyle Merithew.  Escape Pod sends its congratulations to Gideon Fostick for winning first place in the Escape Pod flash fiction contest for stories under 300 words. Professor Seiferd materialized in full command of his facu[...] by Gideon Fostick. Read by Lyle Merithew.  Escape Pod sends its congratulations to Gideon Fostick for winning first place in the Escape Pod flash fiction contest for stories under 300 words. Professor Seiferd materialized in full command of his faculties. He oriented immediately on the white cliffs of Dover, towering over the English Channel. He felt the weight of his mission: he must answer the question that was vital to the Fatherland. Rated G. Contains Nazis. Flash, Podcasts Gideon Fostick no no http://escapepod.org/2007/01/16/ep-flash-nightshift-in-the-automart/ http://escapepod.org/2007/01/16/ep-flash-nightshift-in-the-automart/#comments Wed, 17 Jan 2007 04:42:35 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=186 http://escapepod.org/2007/01/16/ep-flash-nightshift-in-the-automart/feed/ 14 0:00:01 By Andrew Gudgel. Read by Jared Axelrod (of The Voice of Free Planet X). The doors whooshed open and the Goddess Kali strode up to the counter. She stopped in front of him, grinning wickedly. Straight platinum-blonde hair spilled down over her shoul[...] By Andrew Gudgel. Read by Jared Axelrod (of The Voice of Free Planet X). The doors whooshed open and the Goddess Kali strode up to the counter. She stopped in front of him, grinning wickedly. Straight platinum-blonde hair spilled down over her shoulders and high bare breasts, contrasting with her inky black skin. Jeremy noticed a necklace of tiny, perfectly-formed ceramic skulls hung around her neck. “Hi, Jeremy.” “‘Lo, Suzy.” The Goddess Kali’s eyes flashed red with anger. “Don’t call me that!” Behind her, a whole pantheon wandered the aisles, looking for late-night snacks. Rated R. Contains partial nudity, some language, petty crime, and a few gods’ names taken in vain. Flash, Podcasts Mur Lafferty no no http://escapepod.org/2007/01/09/ep-flash-printcrime/ http://escapepod.org/2007/01/09/ep-flash-printcrime/#comments Tue, 09 Jan 2007 17:55:06 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=183 http://escapepod.org/2007/01/09/ep-flash-printcrime/feed/ 19 0:00:01 By Cory Doctorow. Read by Karen Roman. Da. What they did to him. When he was done, he looked like he’d been brawling with an entire rugby side. They brought him out the door and let the newsies get a good look at him as they tossed him in the [...] By Cory Doctorow. Read by Karen Roman. Da. What they did to him. When he was done, he looked like he’d been brawling with an entire rugby side. They brought him out the door and let the newsies get a good look at him as they tossed him in the car. All the while a spokesman told the world that my Da’s organized-crime bootlegging operation had been responsible for at least 20 million in contraband, and that my Da, the desperate villain, had resisted arrest. Rated PG. Contains moderate violence and very slippery slopes. Flash, Podcasts Mur Lafferty no no http://escapepod.org/2006/10/31/ep-flash-act-of-devil/ http://escapepod.org/2006/10/31/ep-flash-act-of-devil/#comments Tue, 31 Oct 2006 06:30:52 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=166 http://escapepod.org/2006/10/31/ep-flash-act-of-devil/feed/ 22 0:00:01 By Paul S. Jenkins. (of The Rev Up Review). Read by Mur Lafferty (of Geek Fu Action Grip). There was a group of them at college who were into Satanism. My mom, Betty Bloxham as she was then, was one of them. It all sounds a bit kinky, going into the[...] By Paul S. Jenkins. (of The Rev Up Review). Read by Mur Lafferty (of Geek Fu Action Grip). There was a group of them at college who were into Satanism. My mom, Betty Bloxham as she was then, was one of them. It all sounds a bit kinky, going into the woods at dead of night and dancing in the nude under the full moon. Anyway, they were all high on drugs at the time, so I doubt they knew what they were doing. Rated R. Contains sexual violence, Satanic summonings, and similar wholesome family bonding. Flash, Podcasts Mur Lafferty no no http://escapepod.org/2006/08/14/ep-flash-the-uncanny-valley/ http://escapepod.org/2006/08/14/ep-flash-the-uncanny-valley/#comments Mon, 14 Aug 2006 06:46:30 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=150 http://escapepod.org/2006/08/14/ep-flash-the-uncanny-valley/feed/ 7 0:00:01 By Jared Axelrod. (365 Tomorrows, The Voice of Free Planet X) Read by Stephen Eley. “I’m sorry,” Purby said, reshuffling the papers on his desk. “What was the problem with her?” “Her breathing. She breathes. She d[...] By Jared Axelrod. (365 Tomorrows, The Voice of Free Planet X) Read by Stephen Eley. “I’m sorry,” Purby said, reshuffling the papers on his desk. “What was the problem with her?” “Her breathing. She breathes. She doesn’t stop.” “Yes, and?” “It’s unnerving.” Rated G. (Anything that isn’t G-rated in this story is entirely the product of your imagination.) Flash, Podcasts Mur Lafferty no no http://escapepod.org/2006/07/03/ep-flash-stuck-in-an-elevator/ http://escapepod.org/2006/07/03/ep-flash-stuck-in-an-elevator/#comments Mon, 03 Jul 2006 05:34:26 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=141 http://escapepod.org/2006/07/03/ep-flash-stuck-in-an-elevator/feed/ 14 0:00:01 By Kitty Myers. Read by Mur Lafferty (of Geek Fu Action Grip). “Aren’t you Rube, the Grim Reaper in Dead Like Me?” As he turned to look at me, an expression of amusement spread over his face like a wave of sunshine over a cloudy fi[...] By Kitty Myers. Read by Mur Lafferty (of Geek Fu Action Grip). “Aren’t you Rube, the Grim Reaper in Dead Like Me?” As he turned to look at me, an expression of amusement spread over his face like a wave of sunshine over a cloudy field. “I’m not a grim reaper in real life,” he mimicked, “but I do play one on TV!” Rated PG. Contains references to drugs, claustrophobia, and canceled Showtime programming. Flash, Podcasts Mur Lafferty no no http://escapepod.org/2006/06/24/ep-flash-paul-bunyan-and-the-photocopier/ http://escapepod.org/2006/06/24/ep-flash-paul-bunyan-and-the-photocopier/#comments Sat, 24 Jun 2006 08:06:41 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=138 http://escapepod.org/2006/06/24/ep-flash-paul-bunyan-and-the-photocopier/feed/ 12 0:00:01 By Larry Hammer. Read by Michael R. Mennenga (of The Dragon Page). Well, the time came Paul Bunyan had a pretty successful thing going with his lumber business. Fact is, the first year his company went public, the stock price doubled, and it went u[...] By Larry Hammer. Read by Michael R. Mennenga (of The Dragon Page). Well, the time came Paul Bunyan had a pretty successful thing going with his lumber business. Fact is, the first year his company went public, the stock price doubled, and it went up fifty percent each of the three years after that. Mind you, this made Paul a target for corporate raiders. Why, the battle he had with Bluebeard is a yarn and a half–but that’s another tale. _This_ is the story of what happened when Paul Bunyan’s secretary went on vacation. Rated G. Objects in story may be larger than they appear. Flash, Podcasts Mur Lafferty no no http://escapepod.org/2006/02/21/ep-flash-fools-seldom-differ/ http://escapepod.org/2006/02/21/ep-flash-fools-seldom-differ/#comments Tue, 21 Feb 2006 07:27:12 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=103 http://escapepod.org/2006/02/21/ep-flash-fools-seldom-differ/feed/ 4 0:00:01 By Jeff Noyle. Read by William Hopkins (of SF Sourcebook). The thing about the Ice is, you can get really, really, really bored. I spent a whole week here yesterday. So, you know that giant slanting floe with the scoop-up at the end that I sent a p[...] By Jeff Noyle. Read by William Hopkins (of SF Sourcebook). The thing about the Ice is, you can get really, really, really bored. I spent a whole week here yesterday. So, you know that giant slanting floe with the scoop-up at the end that I sent a picture of? Carls and I said “oh cool, that would make a great ski-jump.” Only I was dumb enough actually to try it. About two minutes ago. Rated G. Kids, don’t try this at home. Flash, Podcasts Mur Lafferty no no http://escapepod.org/2006/02/14/ep-flash-one-million-years-bfe/ http://escapepod.org/2006/02/14/ep-flash-one-million-years-bfe/#comments Tue, 14 Feb 2006 07:51:04 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=101 http://escapepod.org/2006/02/14/ep-flash-one-million-years-bfe/feed/ 12 0:00:01 By Merrie Haskell. Read by Deborah Green. Am determined to become strong, lithe, deadly, noble cave-woman type figure, √° la Ayla of Clan of the Cave Bear. I will fashion stone tools, hunt and gather food and live pristine, pure life of Homo Erectu[...] By Merrie Haskell. Read by Deborah Green. Am determined to become strong, lithe, deadly, noble cave-woman type figure, √° la Ayla of Clan of the Cave Bear. I will fashion stone tools, hunt and gather food and live pristine, pure life of Homo Erectus-type person–at one with nature. Ah. Air is so fresh. Quite lovely. Rated G. Contains ignoble savagery and predomestic strife. Flash, Podcasts Mur Lafferty no no http://escapepod.org/2006/02/06/ep-flash-the-team-mate-reference-problem-in-final-stage-demon-confrontation/ http://escapepod.org/2006/02/06/ep-flash-the-team-mate-reference-problem-in-final-stage-demon-confrontation/#comments Mon, 06 Feb 2006 07:12:22 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=98 http://escapepod.org/2006/02/06/ep-flash-the-team-mate-reference-problem-in-final-stage-demon-confrontation/feed/ 11 0:00:01 By Constance Cooper. Read by Frank Key (of Hooting Yard On The Air). Colleagues, ours is a uniquely demanding profession. In no other job do you endanger your coworker’s soul if you call out to him in the course of your duties. But since a dem[...] By Constance Cooper. Read by Frank Key (of Hooting Yard On The Air). Colleagues, ours is a uniquely demanding profession. In no other job do you endanger your coworker’s soul if you call out to him in the course of your duties. But since a demon has power over you once it knows your name, well-meant warnings such as “Buck! Behind you!” can have tragic consequences. Rated G. Important safety tip. (Thanks, Egon.) Flash, Podcasts Mur Lafferty no no http://escapepod.org/2006/01/24/ep-flash-hibernation/ http://escapepod.org/2006/01/24/ep-flash-hibernation/#comments Tue, 24 Jan 2006 06:25:27 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=95 http://escapepod.org/2006/01/24/ep-flash-hibernation/feed/ 10 0:00:01 By Madge E. Miller. Read by Stephen Eley. Two Alaskan Kodiak bears joined a small circus where the pair appeared nightly in a parade, pulling a covered wagon. The fact that they had joined the circus was not so strange; the circus life was very pop[...] By Madge E. Miller. Read by Stephen Eley. Two Alaskan Kodiak bears joined a small circus where the pair appeared nightly in a parade, pulling a covered wagon. The fact that they had joined the circus was not so strange; the circus life was very popular even for the better class of bear. The strange thing was that they were both primitive mutes. This alone elevated or, in the opinion of some bears still angry about the Great Russian Dancing Bear Revolt of ’06, lowered them to the level of freak show attraction. Rated G. Contains non-graphic ursine violence. Flash, Podcasts Mur Lafferty no no http://escapepod.org/2005/12/24/ep-flash-night-off/ http://escapepod.org/2005/12/24/ep-flash-night-off/#comments Sat, 24 Dec 2005 07:12:34 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=86 http://escapepod.org/2005/12/24/ep-flash-night-off/feed/ 2 0:00:01 By Jason Erik Lundberg. Read by Stephen Eley. The fat man coughed again and rolled over onto his side. He wheezed and his lungs rattled. A few thousand years of being overweight had caused innumerable cardiac and respiratory problems, but the job de[...] By Jason Erik Lundberg. Read by Stephen Eley. The fat man coughed again and rolled over onto his side. He wheezed and his lungs rattled. A few thousand years of being overweight had caused innumerable cardiac and respiratory problems, but the job demanded it. “Who can you think of to cover you?” The fat man pondered for a moment, then said, “Lo ho ho?” His wife frowned. “You know Loki would just cause a mess, and probably light some children on fire. Who else?” Rated R. Contains profanity and some disturbing imagery. (Note: Mr. Lundberg has directed that his payment for this story be directed toward Heifer International, providing impoverished people with animals and other resources to become economically self-sustaining.) Flash, Podcasts Mur Lafferty no no http://escapepod.org/2005/11/15/ep-poem-making-monsters/ http://escapepod.org/2005/11/15/ep-poem-making-monsters/#comments Tue, 15 Nov 2005 04:53:10 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=77 http://escapepod.org/2005/11/15/ep-poem-making-monsters/feed/ 4 0:00:01 A Poem by Tim Pratt. Read by Stephen Eley. All stories by Tim Pratt. All stories read by Stephen Eley. He is the reason clowns so often seem sinister, the reason mannequins and dolls can be so unsettling, the reason a child’s tricycle sitting [...] A Poem by Tim Pratt. Read by Stephen Eley. All stories by Tim Pratt. All stories read by Stephen Eley. He is the reason clowns so often seem sinister, the reason mannequins and dolls can be so unsettling, the reason a child’s tricycle sitting unattended in a front yard can be an image suffused with dread. If he goes on this way, who knows what other objects will attain an aura of menace? Rated PG. May provoke disturbing thoughts. This poem originally ran in Strange Horizons in July of 2004. Flash, Podcasts Mur Lafferty no no http://escapepod.org/2005/10/31/ep-flash-mount-dragon/ http://escapepod.org/2005/10/31/ep-flash-mount-dragon/#comments Mon, 31 Oct 2005 05:00:19 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=73 http://escapepod.org/2005/10/31/ep-flash-mount-dragon/feed/ 4 0:00:01 By Vera Nazarian. Read by Stephen Eley. “Go to hell, idiot,” I said, using an astringent tongue he’d understand. “I am but a monumental slab of granite, and you, mortality, are like one of the droppings of a fairly large corp[...] By Vera Nazarian. Read by Stephen Eley. “Go to hell, idiot,” I said, using an astringent tongue he’d understand. “I am but a monumental slab of granite, and you, mortality, are like one of the droppings of a fairly large corpulent deity–an ephemeral honor I would rather pass me by.” “And yet, you speak to me, mountain,” said the mote of humanity. “Why is that?” I considered that for a moment. The creature had a point. “I don’t know,” I replied honestly. Rated PG. Contains some profanity. Paradigms may shift without warning. Flash, Podcasts Mur Lafferty no no http://escapepod.org/2005/10/17/ep-flash-wetting-the-bed/ http://escapepod.org/2005/10/17/ep-flash-wetting-the-bed/#comments Tue, 18 Oct 2005 03:30:38 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=70 http://escapepod.org/2005/10/17/ep-flash-wetting-the-bed/feed/ 8 0:00:01 By Heather Shaw. Read by Anna Eley. Discuss on our forums. All stories by Heather Shaw All stories read by Anna Eley When the floods came, all us kids climbed into bed and pulled the covers up over our heads while our parents rushed about trying to [...] By Heather Shaw. Read by Anna Eley. Discuss on our forums. All stories by Heather Shaw All stories read by Anna Eley When the floods came, all us kids climbed into bed and pulled the covers up over our heads while our parents rushed about trying to do something to stop it. As the water level rose we could feel the beds lift off the floor, floating through our houses, bumping down our hallways and out our front doors. We sat up in bed waved to one another as our beds merged onto the canal that now flowed between our houses. We shrieked and giggled as our beds spun and bumped along with the swirling water. Waves lapped at our boxsprings, but our covers were still warm and dry. Rated G. It’s apocalyptic fantasy — for kids! Flash, Podcasts Mur Lafferty no no http://escapepod.org/2005/10/05/ep-flash-troy-trooper/ http://escapepod.org/2005/10/05/ep-flash-troy-trooper/#comments Wed, 05 Oct 2005 04:12:19 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=66 http://escapepod.org/2005/10/05/ep-flash-troy-trooper/feed/ 4 0:00:01 By Alex Holden. Read by Stephen Eley. “Piece of crap!” The boy kicked the toy soldier hard and it flew across the room. “Ow,” said Troy, as he warily checked himself for damage, “what was that for?” By Alex Holden. Read by Stephen Eley. “Piece of crap!” The boy kicked the toy soldier hard and it flew across the room. “Ow,” said Troy, as he warily checked himself for damage, “what was that for?” Flash, Podcasts Mur Lafferty no no http://escapepod.org/2005/09/11/ep-flash-the-god-of-the-goblins/ http://escapepod.org/2005/09/11/ep-flash-the-god-of-the-goblins/#comments Mon, 12 Sep 2005 03:43:25 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=58 http://escapepod.org/2005/09/11/ep-flash-the-god-of-the-goblins/feed/ 1 0:00:01 By Eric Marin. Read by Stephen Eley. The campaign had begun well. The Alarians swept south into goblin territory, and Alarian rifles quickly overmatched goblin bows and crossbows. In just a few weeks of fighting, the goblin population was halved. [...] By Eric Marin. Read by Stephen Eley. The campaign had begun well. The Alarians swept south into goblin territory, and Alarian rifles quickly overmatched goblin bows and crossbows. In just a few weeks of fighting, the goblin population was halved. The goblin chieftains realized that they were doomed without help and did the only thing they could. They asked their god, Twenty Claw, for help. Flash, Podcasts Mur Lafferty no no http://escapepod.org/2005/08/30/ep-flash-pennywhiste/ http://escapepod.org/2005/08/30/ep-flash-pennywhiste/#comments Tue, 30 Aug 2005 04:25:37 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=53 http://escapepod.org/2005/08/30/ep-flash-pennywhiste/feed/ 4 0:00:01 By Greg van Eekhout. Read by Anna Eley. “Piper,” I screamed, fumbling in my purse. Too late. He brought his pipe to his lips and blew a note that almost made my eyeglasses shatter. Over at the sandbox, Nathan rose to his feet. He started[...] By Greg van Eekhout. Read by Anna Eley. “Piper,” I screamed, fumbling in my purse. Too late. He brought his pipe to his lips and blew a note that almost made my eyeglasses shatter. Over at the sandbox, Nathan rose to his feet. He started moving towards the man. All the children did. Rated R. Contains graphic violence and disturbing images. Flash, Podcasts Mur Lafferty no no http://escapepod.org/2005/08/01/ep-flash-friday-night-gods/ http://escapepod.org/2005/08/01/ep-flash-friday-night-gods/#comments Mon, 01 Aug 2005 14:38:01 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=45 http://escapepod.org/2005/08/01/ep-flash-friday-night-gods/feed/ 2 0:00:01 By Josh Rountree. Read by Stephen Eley. Brodie approached the line of scrimmage and both sides of the field erupted. The red-robed fans in the visitor’s stands surged like a crimson wave, swaying in unison as they began the Rite of Intercepti[...] By Josh Rountree. Read by Stephen Eley. Brodie approached the line of scrimmage and both sides of the field erupted. The red-robed fans in the visitor’s stands surged like a crimson wave, swaying in unison as they began the Rite of Interception. They stamped their feet against the aluminum bleachers, chanting as they drew gleaming blades across the bellies of countless doomed rattlesnakes. Their blood spilled, the snakes were then hurled onto the field. The rain of reptiles sounded like bacon burning in a skillet as the animals protested their own sacrifice. Flash, Podcasts Mur Lafferty no no http://escapepod.org/2005/07/24/ep-flash-virus/ http://escapepod.org/2005/07/24/ep-flash-virus/#comments Mon, 25 Jul 2005 03:46:30 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=42 http://escapepod.org/2005/07/24/ep-flash-virus/feed/ 6 0:00:01 By Greg van Eekhout. Read by Deborah Green. All stories by Greg van Eekhout All stories read by Deborah Green Drawn by the sound of the propellers, the lunchtime crowd looked to the sky. An airship passed over the skyscrapers, plumes of black, virus[...] By Greg van Eekhout. Read by Deborah Green. All stories by Greg van Eekhout All stories read by Deborah Green Drawn by the sound of the propellers, the lunchtime crowd looked to the sky. An airship passed over the skyscrapers, plumes of black, virus-laden smoke spewing behind it. Traffic below stopped. People paused on the sidewalks and watched the cloud sink slowly towards them. Flash, Podcasts Mur Lafferty no no http://escapepod.org/2005/07/18/ep-flash-paradox/ http://escapepod.org/2005/07/18/ep-flash-paradox/#comments Mon, 18 Jul 2005 04:41:30 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=40 http://escapepod.org/2005/07/18/ep-flash-paradox/feed/ 3 0:00:01 By Scott Janssens. Read by Paul S. Jenkins (of Rev Up Review). All stories by Scott Janssens All stories read by Paul S. Jenkins. I saw nothing when I looked through the eyepiece Franz handed me and told him so. “Of course not,” said Fra[...] By Scott Janssens. Read by Paul S. Jenkins (of Rev Up Review). All stories by Scott Janssens All stories read by Paul S. Jenkins. I saw nothing when I looked through the eyepiece Franz handed me and told him so. “Of course not,” said Franz. “Right now, the time sight is set to look into the future. From this point in time, the future doesn’t exist yet, not in any meaningful way, so it can’t be seen.” Flash, Podcasts Mur Lafferty no no http://escapepod.org/2005/07/11/ep-flash-slicing/ http://escapepod.org/2005/07/11/ep-flash-slicing/#comments Tue, 12 Jul 2005 03:14:36 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=38 http://escapepod.org/2005/07/11/ep-flash-slicing/feed/ 2 0:00:01 By Greg van Eekhout. Read by Stephen Eley. All stories by Greg van Eekhout All stories read by Stephen Eley. The fact is, almost any new knife can cut through an aluminum can and then slice a tomato with equal ease. Don’t believe me, buy a new[...] By Greg van Eekhout. Read by Stephen Eley. All stories by Greg van Eekhout All stories read by Stephen Eley. The fact is, almost any new knife can cut through an aluminum can and then slice a tomato with equal ease. Don’t believe me, buy a new cheap knife and try it yourself. The pitch man hacks through a tree branch. He cuts a radiator hose. And this ho-hum humbug works. If he hammered a nail with his shoe people would buy nine pair, as long as they came with a free shoehorn and an extra pair of laces. Flash, Podcasts Mur Lafferty no no http://escapepod.org/2005/06/28/ep-flash-ubiquitous/ http://escapepod.org/2005/06/28/ep-flash-ubiquitous/#comments Tue, 28 Jun 2005 04:15:41 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=31 http://escapepod.org/2005/06/28/ep-flash-ubiquitous/feed/ 1 0:00:01 By Douglas Triggs. Read by Stephen Eley. The clicks and squeals in his head subsided. No one else could understand them except him. No one else could even hear them. But they’d always been there, ever since he could remember. They hadn’t[...] By Douglas Triggs. Read by Stephen Eley. The clicks and squeals in his head subsided. No one else could understand them except him. No one else could even hear them. But they’d always been there, ever since he could remember. They hadn’t meant anything at first, not until he was older, well into his teenage years. They said terrible things — disturbing things — but still he could ignore them, even if he didn’t dare tell anyone about them. Rated R. Contains violent themes and images. Flash, Podcasts Mur Lafferty no no http://escapepod.org/2005/06/20/ep-flash-airedale/ http://escapepod.org/2005/06/20/ep-flash-airedale/#comments Tue, 21 Jun 2005 03:21:18 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=29 http://escapepod.org/2005/06/20/ep-flash-airedale/feed/ 4 0:00:01 By Greg van Eekhout. Read by Anna Eley. I never doubted Dolly would place high. Best of Breed at the very least. When it came to official conformation standards, my Airedale bitch made other dogs look like pigs and weasels. By Greg van Eekhout. Read by Anna Eley. I never doubted Dolly would place high. Best of Breed at the very least. When it came to official conformation standards, my Airedale bitch made other dogs look like pigs and weasels. Flash, Podcasts Mur Lafferty no no http://escapepod.org/2005/06/14/ep-flash-strange-girlfriend/ http://escapepod.org/2005/06/14/ep-flash-strange-girlfriend/#comments Tue, 14 Jun 2005 05:20:35 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=25 http://escapepod.org/2005/06/14/ep-flash-strange-girlfriend/feed/ 7 0:00:01 By Scott Janssens. Read by Stephen Eley. “Would you notice if I was replaced by an alien?” your girlfriend Heather asks over her Greek salad. You’ve been dating for eight months. Surprises in the relationship are rare now, but this[...] By Scott Janssens. Read by Stephen Eley. “Would you notice if I was replaced by an alien?” your girlfriend Heather asks over her Greek salad. You’ve been dating for eight months. Surprises in the relationship are rare now, but this catches you completely off guard. “What?” you say. Download the Escape Pod Flash. Flash, Podcasts Mur Lafferty no no http://escapepod.org/2005/06/06/ep-flash-oasis/ http://escapepod.org/2005/06/06/ep-flash-oasis/#comments Mon, 06 Jun 2005 05:36:02 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=21 http://escapepod.org/2005/06/06/ep-flash-oasis/feed/ 4 0:00:01 By Greg van Eekhout. Read by Stephen Eley. You turn a lever that pops open the cover of the control pad. There’s a big red button labeled OPEN AIRLOCK. You jab it. Then you jab the CONFIRM button. Then you push the handle thing, and it’s[...] By Greg van Eekhout. Read by Stephen Eley. You turn a lever that pops open the cover of the control pad. There’s a big red button labeled OPEN AIRLOCK. You jab it. Then you jab the CONFIRM button. Then you push the handle thing, and it’s all over. Download the Escape Pod Flash. Note: This piece marks the debut of Escape Pod’s flash fiction — very short stories that will be released between our weekly issues on an irregular basis. We chose “Oasis” as our first because, well, it’s about an escape pod. One can even imagine our logo image as the illustration for this story. Flash, Podcasts Mur Lafferty no no