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Episode 199: Elvis in the Attic

By Catherine M. Morrison

Read by Ben Phillips

First appeared in SCIFICTION.

We had an Elvis in the attic.  Again.

Echoing in the ducts, his voice woke me around 2 A.M.  I hopped from bed and headed for the attic–they always it up there.  A Vegas Elvis stood by a rack of old clothes singing “Blue Christmas” to them.

As I edged in the door, he segued to “Jingle Bell Rock.”  He waved me down to the front of his meager audience, conferring a special favor.  I settled cross-legged on the floor and enjoyed his tunes.

For months there has been an Elvis infestation all over town, but this was the first Vegas Elvis we’d got.  He worked the room hard, sweat dripping down the side of his forehead.  He was dressed in his trademark white jumpsuit with the spangles and beads and the big white cape he flourished dramatically.  The acoustics up here sucked, but even a big fat Elvis could rock the house.

Rated PG: contains Elvii.

Comments (14)

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  1. Niall Mor says:

    There’s only one thing I can say about this story (in my best Elvis voice): Thankyou. Thankyouverymuch. Godblessyou.

  2. Rochita says:

    That was awesome :) Thanks for that.

  3. MasterThief says:

    Silly and heartwarming. A great antidote to all the Hugo seriousness of the last few weeks.

    Elvis is Everywhere! (the video Steve mentioned)

  4. Chris says:

    This story was NOT science fiction and does not belong on EscapePod!!!

    It is horror and belongs on Pseudopod. Can you imagine waking up to Elvis every morning. Pest control would be number 2 on my speed dial (right behind pizza).

  5. […] Fiction: Read “Elvis in the Attic” by Catherine M. Morrison at Escape […]

  6. scatterbrain says:

    Genius story.

    Escape Pod really needs a lot more of these weird-silly SF stories; in-fact I have a them for them: “cornpunk”, a portmanteau of cornball and cyberpunk.

  7. Seraph says:

    Bizarre yet fun.

  8. Matt says:

    Good stuff, but I had to kill it when the main character dropped an F-bomb. I finished it later, and the language wasn’t a problem afterwards, but the wife doesn’t like our child to hears cursing quite yet.

    I don’t think it added anything to the story, just made me even more hesitant to play an escape pod story in the car.

  9. rick says:

    Dear Catherine
    In the extract above, the story contradicts itself twice within the first seven sentences!
    First line: “We had an Elvis in the attic. Again.”
    Seventh line: “…but this was the first Vegas Elvis we’d got.”
    Then to round out the first four paragraphs, the hopelessly mangled sentence: “The acoustics up here sucked, but even a big fat Elvis could rock the house”. If you just took out the word “even” then at least the second part of the sentence would maintain integrity with the first part, but it’s still pretty bad.
    An opener such as this promises only unbearable writing to come. Pity since the idea is intriguing. I hope you will be more careful with the editing so i can enjoy your work in future.
    peace

  10. reading (listening?) comprehension says:

    Rick:

    -A “Vegas Elvis” is a special kind of Elvis.

    -The meaning of the sentence would change if you took out the word “even”. The sentence is saying that despite (1) the bad acoustics of the house and (2) the substandardness of a fat Elvis, he could still “rock the house”…because he’s Elvis.

  11. Salul says:

    I have to agree with rick on this. The delivery was pretty good, but the grammar stank, and stank bad. Does that spoil the story? Not entirely. But then, it was not only the grammar: the narrative structure was inconsistent and the whole concept was not entirely sci-fi. My only question: Why? Stick to real sci-fi; after all, this podcast does a heck of a job well over 80% of the time precisely because it sticks to what it does best. Elvis shmelvis.

  12. rick says:

    reading (listening?) comprehension: thank you, i didn’t notice the difference between “Vega Elvis” and any other one… on your second point i still see a breakdown of logic — if the acoustics suck then it would take someone exceptional to rock the house. Saying “even” a fat elvis indicates a fat elvis is not very good… and therefore SHOULDN’T be able to rock the house because the acoustics suck.
    That’s my reading anyway. Happy for you that you enjoyed the story.

  13. Story: Silly. And tt was narrated by a kid, so I don’t really care about the grammar.
    Hearing Steve on the ‘cast (at least for the intro): Awesome. (I literally cheered in my car).

  14. besucher says:

    This wasn’t a fine piece.