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EP169: How I Mounted Goldie, Saved My Partner Lori, and Sniffed Out The People’s Justice

By Jonathon Sullivan.
Read by Stephen Eley and Jennifer Bowie (of Screen Space).

Q: What happened when you arrived at the address in question?

A: My Partner Lori opened my door and I jumped out. I arrested a suspect!

Q: Yes, Officer Bull. But I would like you to tell me exactly what happened, in detail, from the time you got out of the car.

A: Okay. My skulltop showed me which house, and I ran toward it. A man and three dogs ran out the door. One of them was a bitch with pretty haunches. She was in heat, and I really really really liked the way she smelled. I wanted to run after her, but I knew I should go after the man. So I did. Even though I liked the way she smelled!

Rated R. Contains profanity, violence, and canine sexuality.

Referenced Sites:

CrimeWAV Crime Fiction Podcast

Comments (97)

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  1. Stephen says:

    Excellent story! Missed an edit at 39:47, though.

  2. storman_norm says:

    Wow! Amazing story, amazing performance by Steve as the dog, Bull.
    Much better than your girl voice. That is a compliment of sorts.
    Story is great! Awesome implementation of the dog officer idea and the “American’s most wanted” on crack dealing out their own justice on the net. Realistic dog dialogue. This is my favorite story in a long time!

  3. wintermute says:

    “Realistic dog dialogue”

    Um, no. You mean plausible dog dialogue. Having conversed with several dogs, let me assure you that realistic dog dialogue does not include actual words.

  4. […] of listening to what I think is my absolute favorite story they’ve done so far, “How I Mounted Goldie, Saved My Partner Lori, and Sniffed Out The People’s Justice” by Jonathan […]

  5. Dave Tackett says:

    I couldn’t stop laughing. What a brilliant story and podcast. And if there was an Oscar for best voice acting as a sentient dog, you’d edge out Seth MacFarlane (Family Guy – Brian).

  6. George says:

    This is shaping up to be a great story but it is implausible that the dog be asked to switch off similes but not profanity. The unnecessary profanity just makes it unfunny.

    Sorry Steve, I guess you’d need Chris Rock reading this to make the cussing truly hilarious

  7. DrCrisp says:

    Good dog, Steve! Goooooood dog.

  8. epilonious says:

    I loved the story.

    I also thought the similes were much worse than the F-bomb. The constant profanity was sort of endearing because it showed that A. Bull liked the new way to express himself and was adapting to it and B. Lori thought of Bull as a partner, enough to let him grow and learn despite the occasional faux-paw (which she probably found hilarious anyways).

  9. Jennifer says:

    I LOVED how Steve read this. PERFECT dog voice!

  10. David S. says:

    Great story. Funny, involving and very well read by both Steve and Jennifer. Steve, if this internet thing doesn’t work out you can always do dog voice-overs for pet food commercials and stuff… ;-)

  11. Brian Hunt says:

    I really enjoyed this one! It gave Bull human level intelligence while still retaining his essential doggy nature.

  12. RandyNose says:

    Great find. – Loved it. Something original. Would love to hear more chapters of Bull’s life. Give me more PLEEAASE!

    I tire of the “Scorched planet / Mad Max Theme”

    Randy

  13. RandyNose says:

    Oh, and I loved the joint effort on this one, seemed to give it that little extra umph. It’s nice to hear from Mrs. escape pod too. :)

  14. Allen says:

    Arf!

  15. Benjamin says:

    OK, so EVERYBODY loved Steve’s reading and I did too. But what about the point of the story?
    I felt that the The People’s Justice element made a good point about how willing we, the public, are to be spoon-feed ways of thinking about issues such as crime and criminals.
    Just a few weeks ago the parents of the pre-teen beauty pageant queen JonBenet Ramsey were conclusively ruled out as suspects in her 1996 killing, through DNA evidence. But for 12 years I’m sure 90% of the public, if they remembered anything at all about the case, it was that her parents offed her.
    “Innocent until proven guilty” is really only technically true, if even that. And I’m not going to get into the lack of presumption of innocence for certain minorities.
    For decades now, the climate in the US has been towards getting tough on crime and on criminals to the point were we’ve lost the concept of the criminal paying for their crimes, paying their debt to society and regaining their life and rights as a citizen (like voting).
    In the story when the show The People’s Justice had been exposed as a fraud, the producers just pulled a bait-and-switch and promised to next week feed fake judge Terry Stringer to the lions instead of the accused.
    “It’ll be the trail of the decade! Don’t miss it!”
    That’s it, isn’t it? Whatever screw-ups occur, be it by politicians, corporations or the media (and we’ve seen quite a few in the last 8 years, haven’t we?) all will be forgiven by the public, we gluttons of entertainment, as long as the next show promises to be bigger and better.
    It’s time we went on a diet and start thinking for ourselves!
    See further: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQqq3e03EBQ

  16. SFEley says:

    RandyNose: Glad you liked the reading, but just for clarification, Jennifer Bowie is not Mrs. Escape Pod. You’re probably thinking of Anna (whom you can hear most recently in Alien Promises and Those Eyes).

  17. Jonathan Hirsch says:

    Steve,
    The only detail of dog psychology missing from Dr. Ellis’ character build was the power of food in the training of canines. Bull never expressed desire for food, and nobody ever gave him a cookie. If not for the f-bombs, I’d let my kids listen to the story.
    –hoyajon

  18. The Devil's Advocate says:

    While I agree that Steve’s reading is supurb, I must play Devil’s Advocate about the People’s Court.

    Yes they were corrupt, however is not the regular court? look at OJ Simpson, or Rihard Ramirez (the night stalker), who is still today sitting on the death row. and even in the regular court, where they have all the evidence that Steve found, innocent people are still punished, so is the People’s court really that corrupt?

  19. That story smelled real good! I wanted to mount it!

  20. Ethan says:

    Good doggie! Who’s a good rule-of-law advocate? You are! Yes you are!

    I want to buy Bull a hamburger. And an ACLU frisbee.

  21. […] a good laugh at the latest Escape Pod this morning How I Mounted Goldie, Saved My Partner Lori, and Sniffed Out The People’s Justice, a heart warming cop drama with an electronically enhanced dog. Clever story and fun […]

  22. DrCrisp says:

    Benjamin: Lets not even dredge up OJ either and discuss the innocent verdict in criminal court but the guilty verdict in civil court.

  23. yicheng says:

    Loved the podcast! The reading brought this story to life. Aside from the fact that it wasn’t kid-friendly, anyone who complains about the language must not know too many cops.

  24. Howie Feltersnatch says:

    Absolutely fantastic story, and this is coming from someone who hates dogs. Excellent reading, too. Steve nicely captured the frenetic, earnest quality that you’d have to assume a talking dog would have.

    I think the profanity fit the story perfectly. If you’ve hung around with cops, you’d know that this story featured much LESS profanity than is normal. The dog’s naive use of it was actually rather endearing–like a kid testing out a naughty word to see if he can get away with it.

    Also, I’m pretty sure that when my neighbor’s dog spends an hour monotonously going, “BARK! BARK! BARK!,” that “F–K! F–K! FUCK!” is probably a reasonable translation.

    It’s stories like these that make up for the awful Cory Doctorow stories this podcast occasionally subjects me to.

  25. Howie Feltersnatch says:

    Oops. Assuming there would be some sort of profanity filter in place, I attempted to pre-censor myself in the above message. However, I see that a single “FUCK” managed to slip through. I apologize if that “FUCK” offended, or if the three “FUCKs” in this message likewise offended. Sorry.

  26. Benjamin says:

    I wasn’t certainly not referring to OJ when I mentioned minorities, but that’s beside the point.

    Sometimes the guilty will got off on technicalities, but I’m convinced that the system must be set up to err on the side of caution. A murderer acquitted is preferable to an innocent convicted.

    Thanks to DNA evidence more and more wrongful convictions are being uncovered. The tragedy of how these people’s lives have been taken away from them is so great.

    If you really prefer a harder justice system that errs on the side of convictions, ask yourself this question: How would you feel to be the one wrongfully convicted and sentenced to life?

  27. Great story. One of the best in a long time–and the last few best have been a bit depressing. Nice to have something fun and upbeat that doesn’t involve tragic teddy bears or philosophers slugs (my other two favorite Escape Pod episodes).

    As for the language. It was rated R. We all know what that means up front. So what’s the problem?

  28. emceemk says:

    Great reading, Steve! Kudos!

  29. Anton Phibes says:

    I loved this story. I must say, the People’s Justice reality show is one of the most disturbing ideas I’ve heard in a while. Our culture (at least the culture I’m used to) fetishizes the cliche of vigilante justice in the face of a corrupt or inept law enforcement. People really dig on the “concerned citizen taking justice into his own hands, ensuring that the bad guy gets what he deserves.” Otherwise conservative and moral citizens, some of the nicest people you could meet, get off on the idea of stringing up outlaws. So the People’s Justice program does not so far fetched. I’m not naive enough to think the government knows what’s best, but our love of vigilanteism (even just as a concept) always creeps me out a little. After all, where is the line between being “the people’s hero for justice” and being a self-righteous asshole with an over-blown sense of self-importance and a big gun?

    Thank you Mr. Sullivan for throwing us this treat! It really made me think.

  30. PK says:

    That one had me constantly grinning. Even though I’m a cat person.

  31. Bingorage says:

    I would hope that by the time we can give dogs sentience and broadband access that we no longer jail people for drug abuse.

    Great story, regardless.

    :Eric

  32. David B says:

    I have to say, this was my favorite story so far. I thought the dog came across as being a dog without the overdoing it that normally accompanies a story of this type. I absolutely, positively want to applaud Jonathon Sully for the best escape pod episode I have ever heard. I never leave comments, anywhere, and he got me to leave one here. I guess that’s a feat in its own right. Thanks “sully-dog”, for an excellent story!

  33. Vinny Bove says:

    This was the best story Escape Pod has ever produced, and that’s saying a LOT, especially since I’ve been a loyal listener since 2006. Sully Dog (what an appropriate nickname, in this case) deserves massive amounts of kudos for crafting a tale that was equal parts creative, original, gripping, interesting, humorous, and heart-wrenching (when Bull convinced Lori not to shoot the perp, then she hugged him, I cried. I honestly cried). I’m going to listen to this story several more times, then forward it to my friends. I just thought it was excellent all the way around. Is there any sort of award this can get nominated for? And would Dr. Sullivan consider adapting this into a screenplay? I think it would be well-suited.

    Great job on the reading too. Not only did you manage to capture the spirit of a dog perfectly, you made me laugh out loud with your statements about Goldie.

    Thanks for entertaining me so thoroughly! I appreciate that I can get such high-quality fiction for free.

    Sincerely,
    Vinny Bove,
    Fan of sci-fi, dogs, and things that are free

  34. Grishny says:

    I’ve been listening to EP since, oh, March of this year and have only just “caught up” to the present, and must say that if this isn’t my favorite episode so far, it’s among the top six. (Why six? Because six is one more than five.)

    I’m curious… what sort of dog did everyone imagine Bull to be? I figure from the name, he’s probably meant to be a bulldog, but I kept seeing him as a German Shepherd. What do the rest of you guys think?

  35. xOrion73x says:

    Brilliant in composition and presentation. There’s not much else that can be said.

    If this story doesn’t hook my wife into EP, I don’t know what will.

  36. Sullydog says:

    When I wrote this, I had two superimposed images in my head: the classic German Shepherd police dog, and a big black lab I once knew, whose name was Bull. I deliberately avoided naming Bull’s breed, both because of aforementioned ambiguity, and also because I wanted to leave it to the reader/listener. So the choice is yours!

    Thank you all for the wonderful comments. They are excessive, but my ego knows no bounds, so I’ll gather them in glady. And I’m indebted to Steve for making me look good with such a terrific reading. This is such a wonderful community.

  37. Cory says:

    One of my favorites – as evidenced by the fact that this is the first comment I’ve left on a story!

    Loved Steve’s dog voice. Every time that dog said “Fuck” I cracked up. That joke didn’t have any right to be so hilarious. :-)

    Top marks also on the story theme and the way the plot worked out.

  38. scatterbrain says:

    Now that is science fiction; I truly enjoy John Sullivan’s biopunk stories and I think we need to hear more of them(and Paul DiFilippo’s too for that matter).

    The only problem was Terry Stringer: could he have thought of a better pun?

  39. Mense says:

    I jumped from episode 52 today to this episode. A few episodes before 52, you mentioned something about sound quality, and how it had gotten better. I agree, and I agree about its importance – I tried getting into Poly Weekly, but the sound quality in the first couple of episodes drove me away.

    The point is, there’s something weird about the sound quality of this episode compared to the quality of episode 50. It sounds like there’s a little reverb, or something to that effect, but it doesn’t sound as clean.

    On the other hand, I think you’ve gotten a lot better at inflection, and I dig it.

  40. You know, when this one started, I was like “oh, man, is Steve gonna talk like that the WHOLE ep? groan

    But I actually really liked this story by the time it was done.

    Yeah, I think it was the earnest Fuck!ing that did it.

  41. Oh! Almost forgot: Ragtime’s feedback about the Marx story was so much better than the story itself, that it made having sat through the damn thing worthwhile. I second Steve’s call for a story from you, sir.

  42. DarthVadas says:

    Wonderful story and reading. I wish I could say the things Bull saids out loud in the story. I too have felt my balls hurt then I was unable to mount a girl with nice haunches.

  43. Rio2k says:

    Ah, a story from the canine perspective…this is exactly how I think a dog would speak (were they capable of such): enthusiastic, idealistic…and very easily distracted at times. A good story, and an energetic reading. I loved it.

  44. Ngatipukunui says:

    Hi Steve,

    Great story, excellent reading.

    I only wish we had someone there with a video camera to capture your performance.

  45. CaroCogitatus says:

    Best Escape Pod Evah!
    Great story, Steve’s reading was spot on, and Bull’s dialogue was very plausible.

    First time I’ve gotten emotional over an EP story.

    As the owner of a goofy Golden Retriever, we often joke that she knows only one word: “Hi!”

  46. Stewart says:

    Wow, what an episode, great writing brilliantly brought to life by some fantastic voice acting.
    Steve, you were so convincing as a dog that I’m tempted to write to your wife and ask if she ever has to tell you to stop licking your own testicles.

  47. Azure says:

    This is exactly the kind of story that I needed to perk up my lunch hour and give me the strength to keep working!

  48. Motti says:

    At first I thought, oh no, Steve’s friends are getting preferential treatment but the story turned out to be so very, very, very good that I felt that I was a Bad Boy for even thinking that.

    This story made me feel really good, so good I almost forgot my nitpick about dogs being colour blind, nits make me sad, gotta pick nits even if it does make me feel a bit like a Bad Boy again for not focusing on how great the story is :o/

    My favorite part was when Bull did a double take after realizing that Goldie may have more rights than any run of the mill dog (smell of haunches notwithstanding), that really smelt just right.

  49. Wabisabi says:

    “People’s Justice element made a good point about how willing we, the public, are to be spoon-feed ways of thinking about issues such as crime and criminals.”
    I thought it was about how the public perceived our justice system as so weak and ineffectual that they would accept something unjust in reaction to that. I for one didn’t really like the reading. It made Bull sound like a Cocker Spaniel or some other yap-yap dog rather than a Police Dog.

  50. RattusCorax says:

    My favorite Escape Pod yet. It was entertaining and had a point without being preachy. Steve’s “Bull” voice was his best yet and I now know why it’s so hard for me to get my own stories written. I’m a dog person.

  51. Audita Sum says:

    Really fun story. I actually loved the profanity, because it was said with such an incongruously joyful voice. Seriously. The overenthusiastic dog voice was awesome.

    This story shook my ears. I like that.

  52. AnneC says:

    This story was spectacular, and definitely an example of something that lent itself really well to audio. I laughed out loud several times at the narration…seriously, Steve, that’s some nice “talking like a dog” talent.

    Narration aside, the story itself was definitely high quality. A lazy writer might have chosen to just make the dog thing a gimmick without adding any other real substance to the story, but here we had plenty of substance. I loved the “multi-layered-ness” of the whole thing — we had the dogs on one level, the bio-upgrade technology on another, the speculative vision of a media-borne vigilante justice system on another, and plenty of interesting social commentary along for the ride. Very well done!

  53. Brother Phil says:

    Loved the story, and though police dogs are usually german shepherds, Steve sounded more like a labrador.
    Loved the choice of a Heinlein quote for the afterword as well, as Bull put me in mind of the calebs in Starship Troopers.

  54. xahra99 says:

    Amazing story. Although police dogs are usually German Shepherds, Steve’s voice sounded way too happy. I’m thinking Staffordshire Bull Terrier here. Or Lab, of course, mostly because of this article: http://www.theonion.com/content/node/32953
    ‘Dog Experiences Best Day Of His Life For 400th Consecutive Day’

  55. tim callender says:

    I loved the story too. The f-bombs were hysterical. My first day in art school, way way back in the day, I had an instructor extol the virtues of the word “fuck”. Steve’s gleeful reading reminded me of her.

    I found the story very engaging. It rolled right along, never losing its pacing, and soon found myself immersed in the world Sully-dog had created.

  56. Rachel says:

    I only have nitpicks left. But first I’ll get to it.

    I like the social commentary in this story, which was there, but not overbearing. It also had some great tech involved.

    I also like the reading of this story. It had a great straight (wo)man with a very good reading by Steve Eley of a dog which made me think at times that he should rad more dog stories just so we can hear that voice.

    So, therefore, my nitpick is that dog’s POV seem often to be locked in the present. They forgive you almost instantly if you seem really, really sorry. It’s one of the appeals of a dog is that they get distracted easily because they can only see the moment in front of them. By giving a dog a memory bank and so on I get a distinct feeling that what the exact charm of a dog is often goes down the drain. (I say this after knowing quite a few labs, a mixed breed and a poodle.) But that is a nitpick.

    The other nitpick I have is that often dogs have a sense of sympathy or sadness. They cock their ears with a “why?” look on their face or even have a sense of sympathy. I’d love to hear Steve Eley’s dog voice with those tones to it as well. The almost childish quality in that forlorn expression that dogs get. But maybe for a dog, as his reading suggested wouldn’t remember the emotions that well and be focused on pleasing for the moment. “Give me a biscuit–aren’t you going to?”

    Last Nitpick. There has to be authors who own dogs. There are dog books out there by the thousands. This is not an excuse for Steve Eley to give up on writing and trying to publish his own fiction. Do it more Mr. Eley! Be selfish once in a blue moon. So you should also have the same desire, no matter what worldly pet you choose. If you would still like to make that excuse, then I’ll make a list of authors and other artist-types who own dogs! Who else will worship Invisible Pink Unicorns without a pen and mind such as yours? But this is nothing to do with the story itself…

    Beyond that is was a funny and interesting story with a really good format for podcasting.

  57. Randy says:

    Good Doggie

  58. Baxter says:

    Should have had a warning upfront for strong language and content and an explicit tag.

    Other than that, really enjoyed it!
    Great!

  59. V says:

    Strengths:
    *Mostly good use of realistic job-specific language for the cops, really thinking of the dog officer’s report on physical confrontations
    *at one point there was a comment about how caps forced those capped to do the bidding of the folks holding the leash. It was glossed over, but chilling…certainly with that in the back of my head the line at the end about how his master Hernandez was the most important thing was rather creepy….overall he’s a normal dog, warped into this role…I mean I know dogs supposedly view their owner as their alpha (and I noticed the lack of food treat triggers also, although I assumed the cap abnegated the necessity for them) and so that somehow fits with their natural impulses, but how much of what Bull has become is him, insofar as he had a personality before capping, and how much of it is his programming? Also interesting was that he wouldn’t even try to talk to an uncapped dog…wonder how he will relate to his puppies….then again afaik male dogs couldn’t care less about “their” puppies, but maybe its different for capped dogs. Interesting that he didn’t Mirandize Goldie as well….

    Weaknesses:
    *although the tone and use of language was skillful, the basic plot was less than original in some ways; People’s Court twist saved it
    *the way the guy they saved (his name escapes me) just got put into adult foster care and forgotten about was also troublesome. Realistic perhaps, but you’d think Goldie’s bond to him would have mattered
    *who is the interviewer? A mainframe? Certaintly there were suggestions of machine origin but it wasn’t clear…she sounded a little human sometimes, but there were also indications otherwise
    *hmm, I may have misheard , but logical error: how could you have the death penalty for so many crimes but at the same time it’s suspended by the Supreme Court? I think they said that rape, child abuse, murder and a few other things were capital crimes, and then that capital punishment wasn’t allowed….
    *production issue: especially near the end, the sound was very pasted-together feeling, as if you were talking past each other. I think that’s probably because you ran out of time, however, so no big. That said, I (and some other readers also) have appreciated your attempts to innovate technically, either with effects or with cooperative storytelling. Do more like this!

    Sum up: Particularly interested in how the story focused on the views of cops…and the Peoples Court notion was also interesting, making points about the ways media can distort the truth not to miscarry justice but to get a “good” and resolved story, and how folks assist them with this…simpleminded thinking, etc. Very reality TV.
    Cybernetic ethics with animals (can they give consent to the initial capping, and can they, if controlled, do so later?) also interesting.
    Good incorporation of social commentary and humor into an sf story, really interesting stuff around the edges.

  60. Tom Wilson says:

    Sully Dog never fails to disappoint, and this story is no exception. I thought the dialog was just right, especially the dog’s 5-year oldish enthusiasm for profanity. HowEVER, I’m getting frustrated with the number of stories I can’t share with my 5 year old daughter. I realize EP isn’t a “family” podcast, but I’m trying to properly indoctrinate.. err… introduce my child to good science fiction, and so much of it is simply ‘adults only’. :(

    Steve, your reading was spot-on, as usual! Great job!

  61. oldguypaul says:

    Steve I almost ran my car into the curb when I heard the excitement in the doggie voice. IT was excellent. The pacing of the story the usefulness of fuck, the wonderful smell of goldie, excellent.
    Thanks

  62. Paul Fischer says:

    I’m caught between two witty comments, so I’ll leave both.

    I really really really like this story.

    Steve, you dog, what a great read.

    I loved the idea of The People’s Justice and the skull caps on the dogs. I didn’t get exactly who or what the female character was supposed to be and the author lost me when she didn’t congratulate Bull on his impending offspring. Up until that point she was treating Bull as almost human.

  63. Thegreenman says:

    This was an awesome story. It’s definitely one of my top 5 so far.
    Echoes of Snow Crash plus Crime… Awesome. Totally. Awesome.

  64. Zathras says:

    I don’t have much to add to the comments already here, except to ask a question.

    How amusing would it be to discover that the interviewer was a capped cat?

    GIGO

  65. Dan the Man says:

    Embarrassingly, I missed the geek ref at the end. Different colored eyes?

  66. Bryce says:

    I have to admit that I loved this story immensely more than all the stories nominated for this years’ Hugo combined.

  67. I liked it. Definitely one of the more unique stories I’ve heard in a while.

    Of course now, every time I look at my dog, I can almost hear Steve’s voice saying ‘Can we go for a walk now? I really want to sniff that spot on the corner again…it smelled really good last time.’

    GAH!

    Still…Loved it! :D

  68. DrCrisp says:

    Fuck Factorial Nuns

    So now that I have your attention with that header, you may wonder what those three words have in common. Every time Steve’s character said, “Fuck”, two mental images came to my mind. The first one, the most likely one intended by the Author was of the smiling face a dog gets when he’s happy. The second one was related to me by my 8th grade Algebra teacher in parochial school. She was in a class and a nun was substituting for the math teacher. The subject was factorials written as 14! or 17!. The nun, whenever reciting the numbers made them sound bright and cheerful when she read them “14!” with a happy chipper smile and a lilting upnote on the “teen”.

  69. BarbaraJ says:

    Obviously the listener who objected to the profanity has never spent a moment around cops or military. The “F-Bomb” is a noun, pronoun, verb, adjective, conjunction and anything else you can think of.
    This is one of the best stories ever featured on this podcast.
    Good dog, Stevie. Good dog. I’m going to rub your ears now.

  70. LaShawn says:

    Oh, what a fun story! Steve’s voice made it so worth it. What really impressed me about the story was how Bull really wanted to uphold the law–so many stories I’ve seen are people who flaunt the law for their own means, so it was refreshing to see Bull’s desire to uphold the law. And he saved Jamal from getting fried–what is a good dog! And I feel so perverse for saying this–but he truly deserved to mount Goldie. Good boy!

  71. Aquarello says:

    That rubbed my tummy just right. Thanks!

  72. AlienSniffer says:

    I’m not sure if the superb reading by Steve and Jennifer caused me to like the story so much or if the superb story caused me to like the reading which was so well done. Either way, this was one of my favorite EP stories–clever and light-hearted. It took me a minute to recognize the voice of Steve Eley because his reading seemed different than his usual character readings. Perhaps because this was a dog and not a human character. Rock on, Steve…keep doin’ it doggie-style!

  73. J says:

    If my dog could talk, he would sound exactly like steve eley.

    as a side note, i do somewhat disagree with the assertion that dog and cat people are mutually exclusive. i like both, because i grew up with both.

    as to why so many writers like cats, i suspect it’s because they can be largely left to their own devices, and when they do want attention are usually content to sit on your chest and be vibrate while you pet them. dogs by contrast actually tend to want you to do things with them. things which usually involve getting up from the computer and going outside.

    i also disagree with the idea that dogs are inherently honest. my dog lies to me all the time, they’re just not very good at it.

  74. Zippy says:

    I am most empathicly a cat person, but nevertheless I loved this episode. Keep up the great work.

  75. Calculating... says:

    I thought this was a great story. I loved the idea that animals are still used in police work, but have been graduated to a higher level than guard dog and bomb sniffer.

    my dog can be extremely intelligent, when she wishes to be that is, and I feel like if she had the opportunity to be on a police force and run down bad guys, she would leap at the chance.

    while my sister disliked the “mistreatment” of animals in this podcast, i loved the whole thing. the way the story was presented was different and enjoyable, and the reading was exciting and made you feel like you were in the interrogation room.

    well done.

  76. JoeCamel says:

    Just adding to the chorus here–congrats to the author on a great story and to Steve & Jennifer (especially Steve) for the strong reading.

    I’m sure the voice work had something to do with it, but I think I agree with Bryce @ 66 re. liking this better than the Hugo nominees. This is one I’ll force friends and family members to listen to.

  77. coffeemonk says:

    I just listened to this story, and having also just listened to the previous 7 or 8, I can say this is the best I’ve heard so far. Great story, very compelling and wonderfully written. I loved the character of the dog, he felt very real and appropriate. Voice acting in this was very good, as well.

  78. Louie says:

    Thought I’d post for the first time after listening for a couple years.

    F@$k, F@!k. That was a fun story.

  79. aye says:

    i also disagree with the idea that dogs are inherently honest. my dog lies to me all the time, they’re just not very good at it.

    Best comment ever :)

  80. […] is the Escape Pod episode where our guest speaker (Stephen Eley) and I read the story. The story is EP169: How I Mounted Goldie, Saved My Partner Lori, and Sniffed Out The People’s Justice.  It is rated R, so if that bothers you feel free to go with another podcast or another Escape Pod […]

  81. Lungdoc says:

    i loved this story, and Steve, i love your dog characterization–was perfect!!

    need more lighter stories like this…sometimes it seems we have had a run of “message stories”. So this was great

  82. Xslf says:

    Jumping in, without reading others, so I apologize if other people said it:
    Great job of doing the dog- the female computer was somewhat less good.

    As someone who has two cats and a dog, I really wanted to protest about the comment at the end, re dog people vs. cat people.

    Personally, I always say I don’t extraterrestrials for alien intelligence- I have two races with that at home :)

  83. Jeff says:

    Loved ragtime’s feedback about the Max story. Really great!

  84. Sushma says:

    F***ng great!

  85. SF Fangirl says:

    Possibly best escape pod ever! (Although is in not necessarily true since I’ve been listening only a couple of months and haven’t made it all the way through the archive yet.) Great story. The voice and voice (in the text and reading) were great. This story certainly lended itself to being an audio story. I loved the story and would like to hear more stories about Bull; although, I bet that was one of his greatest days ever.

    However despite loving it, I did find it a bit long. I thought the ending where they finally catch the People’s Court dragged out too long with, I think, three action scenes taking place befor they got the the court room. At that point I was ready for the conclusion and the action scene seemed to be slowing the plot down.

    And somewhere near in the last third there was an oddity with the sound – something like an irregular thumping in the background.

  86. […] August batch of Escape Pod stories begins with “How I Mounted Goldie, Saved My Partner Lori, and Sniffed Out The People’s Justice” by Jonathon Sullivan (whose story “Imperial” was the very first in Escape Pod). […]

  87. Hyperion says:

    The only way this story works (as a podcast) is by totally committing to the voice. Such a great job. Imaginative fun story too. I will be sending people here for this.

  88. Siderite says:

    Oh, I am definitely a cat person and I can tell you exactly what they are thinking about: NOTHING! :)

  89. D & S says:

    Quite a story. We liked the story and have passed the site on to the rest of the family.

  90. Agent_137 says:

    I’m a new listener who’s been trying to catch up since my first listen at 136 (bright red star). “Goldie” has been my favorite so far as evidenced by me visiting the site and leaving a comment – both for the first time.

  91. […] in August, we decided that if we really are going to do this podcasting thing, we should invest in better equipment than a $40 logitech […]

  92. Aranya says:

    @ dan the man….different colored eyes, fenchurch from hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy had .. the.. eyes.

    now i’m not so sure.

    runs off to read h2g2 once more

  93. Fred McDonald says:

    I can only add my voice to the echoing chorus of people saying how good this was! One of my favorite Escape Pod episodes ever! My totem animal is Dog, although I am not specifically a “dog person” — it’s far more accurate to say I’m an animal person. (Yeah, so I’m “poly” even with pets …)

  94. Carl Minez says:

    I dont really know what to think about this.

    Its a very funny and original story indeed. What bothers me is the idea of actually “improving” the canines intelligence. Or rather adjust it to fit the human society. I find it remiss and distasteful. But hey this is just fictional, right. Ill hold back my complains till the near future.

  95. Alan says:

    Hey, I saw UP over the weekend and came back to find this story so I can bookmark it and send it to a friend of mine who also saw the movie. It took me a minute to realize the style and diction of Dug was exactly done by you, Steve, in the portrayal of Bull. So I had to share it with my buddy. And any other buddies that I happen to come across. :-)

  96. […] Last Dog” Vinge, Vernor – “The Blabber” Sullivan, Jonathon – “How I Mounted Goldie, Saved My Partner Lori, and Sniffed Out The People’s Justice&#8221… Carrol, Jonathan – Friend’s Best Man Denton, Bradley – “Sergeant […]

  97. […] Last Dog” Vinge, Vernor – “The Blabber” Sullivan, Jonathon – “How I Mounted Goldie, Saved My Partner Lori, and Sniffed Out The People’s Justice&#8221… Carrol, Jonathan – Friend’s Best Man Denton, Bradley – “Sergeant […]