EP015: Hell Notes

By M.K. Hobson
Read by Stephen Eley.

They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, so I suppose it’s no wonder that the twice-cooked pork the beautiful chef placed in that depressing buffet line kicked me in the mouth like a South American soccer superstar with bad aim. There was never twice-cooked pork like the twice-cooked pork I tasted that snowy day at the Cheerful Panda.

Rated PG. Contains graphic food-based sensuality and soulless marketing.

Comments (7)

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  1. Jesse says:

    Why do people waste time on things they hate?

    They feel the need to justify their non-interest. They ostensibly they do it is because, at the root, they believe their taste position is justifiable and extendable beyond themselves. And properly cornered they would claim to be striving for their personal tastest to be normative for all humanity.

    But I’d argue a post like: “Linux rulz, Microsoft sux!” is likely not really a claim not about Linux’s greatness or MS’s suckage as it is a cry for help – something along the lines of “I’m deeply in need of a hobby – help me!”

    Though they’d claim their tastes are normative – their evangelism is more indicitive of a deep seated insecurity – nobody bothers to make slamming posts about agreed upon facts.

    Hmmm … this theory probably explains my deep seated suspicion of patriotism.

    Oh and…. Escape Pod Rulz!

  2. Michelle says:

    Another great story. Yet again, I was cackling like a mad fool while driving. I was actually getting hungry from all the food descriptions, until we got to the eyeballs…

    Oh, and I think I laughed hardest at your deep scary voice at the end, asking for book reviews!

  3. Mike S says:

    A biggie from scifi.com! And another coup for Escape Pod. Brilliant story. Thumbs up all round. Shame the discussion forums are down. I miss them.

  4. PaulJ says:

    Great story, and I loved your special FX!

  5. scatterbrain says:

    How about something with a more Native American or African mythology?

  6. […] the story taught me the value of secondary markets. After its initial publication I resold it to Escape Pod (where it had great success) and just recently I resold it to Nancy Fulda’s Anthology Builder […]

  7. Eric Belisle says:

    How to mix buffet food, ghosts, asian underworld and american capitalism in a fun and funny story? Hell Notes is a little pearl! Thanks!